Australian Survivor week 9. Twists and twists and twists and twists and spaghetti, spaghetti.

Welcome back for week 9 of Big Brother Canada, wait, sorry, I meant Australian Survivor coverage. Things are happening.

This dog would be better at Survivor than most of these people.
This dog would be better at Survivor than most of these people.

“Episode 22”

So that was something, huh? It was a weird, confusing something, but it happened and was interesting. Was this episode a mess? Sure. But it was a fun mess. I’ll take this over episode after episode of Saanapu marching to the end and being pompous dicks about it.

We come back to camp and shit is tense. Sam has a confessional where he lays out that the two options at tribal were things going his way and things not going his way. That is some brilliant analysis. Lee says that he knows he was a target, and Sam’s response is basically “I’m sorry if you offended by that.” It’s like Sam is a self-righteous dick or something. The next morning, Flick takes Matt aside to shore things up, and he manages to out-douche Sam by claiming he’s the only person in the game who’s been completely honest. Somebody call the whambulance, because there’s an outbreak of crybabyitis going on in Samoa, and the situation looks critical.

After that, things start moving. Lee, El, and Flick convene to plan their next move, which is to vote out Kristie. Unfortunately, Kristie figures out that it’s weird her supposed alliance is having a conversation without her, so she heads over to check things out, and nobody has a good answer. The next 20 minutes is some of the most awkward Survivor I have ever seen. Everyone seems to realize that now is the time to start playing, but everyone has also gone so long without playing they just don’t know what to do. The result is like watching a bunch of freshman boys trying to get to second base at the spring dance.

Kristie pulls in Matt for a plan to blindside El. El and Flick realize something is weird and go off to scout. They catch Kristie as she’s finishing up outlining her plan. She claims to have just gotten back from the bathroom, and the tone of El’s response makes it clear she doesn’t believe her. Cut to Kristie in confessional gloating about how El was totally fooled. At this point I realized what’s so offputting about her; if Kristie just gave confessionals about how she was playing a better game than people realized I would be like, “yeah, you are,” but everything she says about herself is Russell Hantz-levels of grandiose. It’s shades of Kass in Cagayan.

Lee has a sit-down with Kristie, because he’s apparently taken over Phoebe’s role of seeing her as his weird little sister. Meanwhile, in the shelter, Matt and Sam make the most awkward pitch ever to Flick, but it seems to work on her because Flick is getting super paranoid at this point.

We’re 25 minutes in and… reward challenge? Something is up. It’s a weird hybrid of ‘memorize a bunch of stuff in a box” and “use a rope to establish coordinates so you can dig up a bag of puzzle pieces.” It’s fine. Lee gets his bag first, but Matt gets his second. At this point, obviously Matt is winning. His reward is a spa visit, but he’s not going alone. He also doesn’t get to pick who he’s going with, that’s going to be decided at a mystery tribal council.

At camp, Matt and Sam continue to needle Flick and Kristie. Matt has a confessional where he talks about how they’re slowly chipping away at the girls’ armor, which is weird, given that it was Kristie who first approached Matt. Sometimes I feel like Matt doesn’t really have his finger on the pulse, and, by sometimes, I mean always.

The mystery tribal council turns out to be a game of slam book, and, heck yes, slam book! This couldn’t have come at a better time, especially with how pointed these questions are. I have exactly two complaints: 1.) five strikes is too many, slam book should be 3 and done, but, more importantly, 2.) where is the jury? You’re gonna bring everyone to tribal council to air their dirty laundry and not have the jury watch? Missed opportunity, Australian Survivor.

Flick ultimately wins and gets to go on reward with Matt. But there’s another twist: they get to pick someone to go with them. They do the smart thing and pick Kristie, giving Matt time to work his new alliance and Flick the chance to solidify a bond with someone she’ll need either way.

And then there’s another twist, and seriously now, this is getting a bit much. For some reason, the remaining players aren’t going back to camp, they’re spending the night at exile beach. This little bit of overkill didn’t destroy what came before, but it was sort of a “really, now?” moment to end the episode. You have momentum now, Australian Survivor. You don’t need to mess with things.

“Episode 23”

Okay, so we basically got tonight what everyone said was gonna happen. But wow, what a journey to get there. Our Australian survivors are still terrible at Survivor, but at least they’re doing things.

We start with the tail end of the reward. Flick, Kristie, and Matt bond over brunch, while solidifying their plan to vote out El and Lee. Meanwhile, over at exile beach, Sam, El, and Lee are absolutely miserable. Sam talks about how he knows his head is on the chopping block, and his only options are to win immunity or flip Flick and Kristie.

Cut straight to reward, which is for an unspecified advantage in the immunity challenge. Two teams of three run a relay where one player splits a coconut and the next runs a bowl of the juice through an obstacle course then pours it into the third’s mouth so they can run across a web net to spit it into a beaker. The teams are… reward vs. exile, which seems like a dick move, but Kristie absolutely cannot get the juice into Flick’s mouth (yes, phrasing) and allows the exile team to come from behind for a win.

Back at camp, everyone knows things are tense. There’s a long thing about how Lee and El’s bond is becoming more personal, which is… boring? Let’s go with boring. This episode did not need to be 70 minutes.

Then Kristie decides to Kristie it up by getting super weepy for no clear reason. Flick gets nervous about her new alliance and decides it’s a good idea to play the middle and tells Lee and El the others are gunning for them. She has a confessional where she explains how she’s keeping a foot in both camps. Has that worked for anyone who’s not Kim Spradlin, ever?

Immunity. Its the thing where you balance on a doghouse in the ocean. The winning team gets to sit out the first ten minutes. I skipped forward 10 minutes. Lee wins.

So now it’s back at camp and the scramble is on. Flick takes Kristie aside to confirm the target is El. Krisie confirms Flick’s suspicions by getting weepy and deciding she has to come clean to Lee. She does, explaining that she was balancing her loyalties against her chances of winning. Lee scolds her for thinking about the end and tells her this game moves too fast. As someone who has to write about this show, Lee, no it does not. Everything Lee says after this is word salad and I start wondering if cricket is a sport where you can get hit in the head.

Lee and El convene, and they think Kristie sounds like a crazy person. Thank you for finally noticing! They don’t believe that Flick would flip, and then flip back again. It’s literally impossible that you could win Survivor like that. Nobody has ever done such a thing.

So off to tribal council. There’s a lot of talk about how Lee and El are in power. El denies this, and points the finger at Kristie and Flick as the swing votes. Jonathan LaPaglia continues his tradition of asking everyone if they know how they’re voting because seriously this episode is 70 minutes.

At the last minute, Lee decides to deploy his advantage. He uses it on Sam, which actually is smart, since Sam probably was targeting El. The votes come in. 2 for Matt. 2 for Sam. 1 for El. On the revote, it’s a landslide for Sam. So that particularly insurgency is crushed, but the previews indicate next week is still gonna be awkward and confusing.

Sharculese

Sharculese

Sharculese first saw Survivor when his roommate wanted to watch Cagayan. He has now seen every season because he has a skewed sense of priorities.
Sharculese
  • sharculese

    This is Clover. We got her because my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my brother’s room and my parents decided the solution was to get him a puppy.

    • Hornacek

      So what you’re telling kids is that if they want a puppy they should start smoking?

      • Kemper Boyd

        Or buy cigarettes, throw away 2 and hide the packet in plain sight?

        • Hornacek

          Parents will see through that. You gotta go full method.

    • prettyboyprobst

      Speaking of things that rhyme with Glover, didn’t you mention once that you went to school or college with Donald Glover?

      I’m asking because I was listening to an Australian podcast, and when they, out of nowhere, proclaimed their love for him, I thought “what an odd coincidence”, given that the only people I ever heard/saw bring up his name are in the Recapping-Australian-Survivor-business.

      • sharculese

        Yeah, he was a grade above me in high school.

        • prettyboyprobst

          Cool, makes me feel good. I wasn’t sure if it really was you.

          • sharculese

            Does his name rhyme with “clover” in Australia? It doesn’t in America.

          • prettyboyprobst

            I don’t think so. It’s an off rhyme.

            (stop exposing the pretense!)

  • Kemper Boyd

    I spent the whole slam book challenge saying “just say yourself” out loud over and over again. If it’s a negative question don’t try and win just say yourself. Flick needed to calm the F down but she probably saved the say by taking Kristie as she was the only one who Flick could have turned off with her antics. Taking Kristie was the obvious move here, Sam won’t go back to Lee and El (I don’t think) and if they can get that 3 together they can take out El, Lee or Sam next time without a worry.
    I think for Flick it should be Sam next week, then Lee, then El. El needs keeping longer as if Lee is gone I think Flick becomes who she clings to even if Flick flips back. Then she’s got a shot at being up against Matt or Kristie at F2 to have a shot of winning.
    For Matt it needs to be Lee then El then Sam and he wants sit by Kristie or Flick.
    For Kristie just get to the F2 with anyone your chance of winning is low.
    Lee and El need to go on immunity runs.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      FWIW, Matt was writing his own name down on the questions that were obviously a trap, although of course he had no incentive to win (although I wish he had just to see what production would have done). That was hilarious when Flick delightedly exclaimed “Yes I got it right!” when the question was “who is the least popular?” (also, that look on Kristie’s face!).

      You’re forgetting about Lee’s vote canceler (it’s OK, everyone else has too, including possibly Lee). He has to be next to go.

      I’m very surprised nobody ran straight to their sand pit and started digging. The sand pit areas were much too small. When they run that challenge in US Survivor the sand pits are at least 4x larger.

      • Kemper Boyd

        Yep Matt was the only one playing it properly but he was also the only one who didn’t need to win as he was already going on reward. Fuck yeah Lee’s vote canceller, so Lee, Sam then El, because Sam will side with Matt and Flick doesn’t need that.

    • prettyboyprobst

      Why Sam before Lee for Flick? ADS made a good point about that, but I can see why it would be beneficial to Flick otherwise, as Lee+El+Matt*Kristy are less likely to turn on her than El+Matt+Sam+Kristy. Btw, see the last sentence of my long post, I’m worried Sam and Lee might revive their bromance on exile beach. The rest of the breakdown seems accurate, I would say.

      • Kemper Boyd

        I fully forgot about Lee’s vote canceller but I see Sam as a big threat to Flick but not in as obvious a way I actually think he is more likely than Matt to be used by El and Lee for a vote and more likely to want to do that over going with Kristie and Flick than Matt. I also fucking hate him.

        • prettyboyprobst

          All good points. I also like this priority order of Sam+Lee before everyone else for Flick, because it actually makes her a challenge threat for the remaining ICs. She’d be the strongest athletic type left, even though she’s not as athletic as an El or even a Kristie.

          • Kemper Boyd

            Flick is a terrible challenge player it’s hilarious.

          • prettyboyprobst

            She is, but she would have the most raw muscle power out of anyone left, is what I meant.

    • turgid_legume

      I’m glad I’m not the only one that was really disappointed by the way they played the slam book thing. A reward win is never worth the price of hurting someone’s feelings that late in the game, as silly as that sounds. That is one challenge that you should never try to win.

      I keep coming back to this mental image of someone like a Jeremy Collins or a Kim Spradlin watching these people stumble through the game trying to achieve minimal basic competency at the social game and constantly shaking their head.

  • prettyboyprobst

    Maybe it’s just because I recently counted fingers and therefore knew another non-elimination was coming, but I also didn’t mind this episode too much. It was another reminder that none of these people left are particularly good at Survivor, but it’s good to have it out of the way, while there are still more contestants on the island than I can count on one hand. There was a lot of movement and shifting going on, which leaves me excited for the next episode, as everything seems wide open now.

    Some more quick hits, using the recap as a template:
    – none of these people are smooth talkers or convincing liars. That was cringeworthy throughout the whole episode, so awkward. Only notable exception: Matt (who, btw, wasn’t talking in confessional, but to Flick about how he’s the most honest person in the game. Is it really so bad to remind other players, that they can trust you?)
    – Oh Sam. That was funny, seeing you get mad at Lee. So juicy, I almost missed El delivering her trademark interjections, like the world’s worst hypeman.
    – Why needed Kristie about two squaremeters to go through the numbers in the sand? There are only 6 people left!
    – I’m absolutely convinced that Kristie’s gloating confessional about having her(El) totally fooled and that she’s the next to go was actually from Ep21 and about Brooke. There was another old Kristie-confesh (wild hair, no braids; talking about FLick, El and Lee), not sure how old exactly, has to be either E20 or 21. It’s possible that there were even more examples like that in the episode, but I’m usually not to great at remembering scenery, hair- and clothing details of prior confessionals. El got a new interview for her confessionals though, after they used the same in episodes 20 and 21
    – Other than that, I completely agree, it’s not a good look considering the game Kristie plays
    – I guess we’re supposed to like Lee for reaching out to poor little
    Kristie again, but damn, he came off dickish AF, or am I totally off
    here? “Congrats, it’s day 46 and you’re absolutely, no doubt about it in the alliance. That’s what you always wanted, right? Good job! – Why are you asking me questions?”
    – I can’t imagine that Flick is nearly as lost as she pretends in the scene with Matt and Sam (and Kristie later), but damn girl, you should have some idea what you can tell the outside group, and what you want to talk about with them. What idea they should have of your game, if only for their jury-votes. What is “I go when it’s my time to go” supposed to accomplish?

    The next 20 minutes is some of the most awkward Survivor I have ever
    seen. Everyone seems to realize that now is the time to start playing,
    but everyone has also gone so long without playing they just don’t know
    what to do. The result is like watching a bunch of freshman boys trying
    to get to second base at the spring dance.

    ^Bravo! Everyone was pretty awkward, but at least Sam and Matt seemed to be effective in wooing Flick
    -“100 percent!” – smart, Sam speaks her language
    -Why have Matt even participate in the Slam Book challenge? He already won the reward, and they never told us what would happen, if he won that as well. Was he playing for the chance to pick both people?
    – Slam Book: So fitting that these people pretty much refuse to play the game production put in front of them. I guess that’s smart, if that is even what happened there. It didn’t feel like anybody was really trying to win, other than Flick maybe? Agreed that it had too many strikes and they missed an opportunity by not having the jury there, but I think this challenge (and the non-elimination that comes with it) should have occured a little bit earlier
    – I think taking Flick and Kristie is Matt’s best move, but I’m still scared shitless that Lee can calm the waves with Sam at exile, so that the mateship will be sailing smoothly again, saving Lee and El.
    Looking at how the episode has ended (nightvision interview with Sam), that’s exactly the kind of turnaround they would use to surprise the audience.

    • sharculese

      Yeah, I knew at least one, probably two non-elimination challenges were coming. Like I said, I don’t think this is a bad idea, I just wish the jury could have seen it.

      As for Matt, I know he said that to Flick, it just came off really douchey to me. It didn’t feel like he was trying to convince her to trust him so much as he was having a pity party. It was very Coach-esque.

      • prettyboyprobst

        She was just telling him that people thought they couldn’ t trust him*, so it was the rare opportunity to stretch how trustworthy he is, without it being a pity party or coach-esque, imo.

        *which is BS, obviously. People didn’t tell him because it was a big blindside against the player that was well-connected with everyone on the tribe and allied with Matt

        It was an odd exchange nonetheless, with Flick being very transparent and Matt making sure she knows he’s not that stupid, keeping it real without offending her too much. I liked it.

    • turgid_legume

      The thing about “I’m the only one who hasn’t lied” is not just that it’s incredibly sanctimonious, but it also implies that the person you’re talking to has lied and is untrustworthy, which is the last thing you want to signal if you’re looking for an ally. It’s fine to feel that way about someone, but you don’t say it to their face.

      • prettyboyprobst

        Generally I agree, but it’s Flick he’s talking to, who just flipped on her alliance. I don’t think she took offense and it would be very hypocritical, even for her standards, if she did.

  • prettyboyprobst

    My premature player-of-the-season rankings* (through 22 episodes):

    1) Brooke (not counting the early game – she needed time for learning by doing)
    2) Kate
    3) Craig
    4) Matt
    5) Phoebe (exciting player, but way overrated imo. Still good, though)

    6) Kristie
    7) Flick
    8) Sue

    *That is, who I think have the most game, coming out of this season.

    • Kemper Boyd

      Phoebe showed more in her 5 episodes than Matt or Kate (REALLY? KATE).

      • prettyboyprobst

        Kate’s demeanor is the opposite of Nick’s. That alone is good for #2 on my list. She’s also a beast in challenges, smart and people seemed to gravitate to her.
        I will admit though, that she played especially well with this type of cast. As do Lee and El, so I should probably drop her a couple of spots or list Lee and El and extend the list.

        • Kemper Boyd

          YOU ARE DESCRIBING EL WHO YOU HATE. It’s the same none play focusing on social bonds and physical performance, just with a slightly better personality for TV.
          My list would be:
          1)Brooke
          2)Flick
          3) Phoebe
          4) Craig
          5)Kristie (in this long a game her style has worked for her, she will dropped if she doesn’t turn it on).

          6)Matt (ditto)
          7) JL
          8) Lee

          24) Sam, he’s the worst.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Slightly better is exactly right, she ist still really boring, which is a problem. But there is also something mesmerizing about her and the way she talks and is always thoughtful and low-key emotional, which I liked.
            As for her Survivor skills, she is somewhat similiar to El and I got reminded of that when writing that last comment, but I think she has more for her going: She has actually shown that she can get people on her side, where El just hangs on to others. Which works great for El, but for me it comes down to the (despite no evidence to the contrary, still) very subjective view, that Kate has the brains to do more with her abilities, whereas El has not shown that potential.
            Among this cast, people don’t have to show me a whole lot to get into my top 3. If the good outweighs the bad, that’s good for top 7, basically.

          • Kemper Boyd

            But you put her two! TWO! As best player. Surely someone who showed something should be above someone who showed nothing? I’m starting to think this is an elaborate troll job you are doing on me to fuck with my brain.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Not a troll job, but I didn’t put too much thought into it.
            I think Kate showed a lot (started slow but broke into the alliance, made connections to newcomers, got Andrew out, got herself a pet dog, played the Aganoans against each other, became subject of Sue’s adoration, drew a pyramide in the sand and recruited Sam and Lee for a vote at least, but then Kylie happened), but I also totally forgot about her when making that list. When I finally thought of her, I decided that #2 would be a good place to squeeze her in – if that makes me a troll…

          • Kemper Boyd

            if you completely forgot about her how can #2 be the right spot?

          • prettyboyprobst

            She gives off that Jinho-vibe.

            And I couldn’t remember any bad moves Phoebe might have made, but still subtracted points from her, so it seemed only fair and consistent not to hold my bad memory against Kate either. (ok, now I’m trolling)

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            “She gives off that Jinho-vibe.”

            Wow, now I know we’re down to a handful of die-hards still watching AS.

            Incidentally, on AS KIA, Stephen was adamant that they’re making the right move getting rid of Sam at 6 and waiting until 5 to take down El or Lee, but that assumes that they’re playing strategically, which I don’t know why you would think that. Also, I think he wasn’t accounting for the possibility of Lee still having the vote canceler at 5.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Phew, I didn’t know if that handful of diehards would overlap with the, I assume, manageable group of people around here, that is familiar enough with The Genius to get the reference.

            I liked to think we are just the avantgarde and many more will catch up at times when less Survivor is on TV, but right now I’m afraid chances for that to happen are slim, as I’m not sure anymore that I would recommend watching too far past the mini-merge myself.

            That part about going against Lee and El at 5 vs. 6 (and the discussion about the effects of the vote canceler, when Rob brought it finally up) was easily the weakest part of a very strong KIA episode (one where watching was so much better than just listening). Which was surprising, given that one would expect that kind of strategic analysis and forethinking to be right in the wheelhouse of the KIAs. I guess they were just thrown off their game by all the madness in these episodes lately.

            As you hinted at, with these contestants and jury members, maybe we should all dial back on strategic thinking during and after watching the show, if we want to come out of this with our sanity intact.

          • sharculese

            Okay, so I just finished with “Open, Pass Game” tonight, where Jinho is very present for obvious reasons, and I’m confused about this. Are you calling Kate forgettable, or is this supposed to be a favorable comparison?

          • prettyboyprobst

            Neither, it refers to Jinho’s career as a gamer which, of course, I would know nothing about, if not for The Genius. They constantly make reference to him finishing 2nd in tournaments all the time (maybe even more so in extra scenes and later appearances), to the point that his name becomes closely intertwined with the number 2.

            They both have a good, calm aura about them, but this is probably where comparisons end.

  • Kemper Boyd

    23
    WTF Kristie, going to Lee is dumb.
    Flick is doing some solid lying to El but if you decide to vote with Matt and Sam it ain’t that hard 3-2-1 El and Lee as with Kristie and Flick they were splitting the vote.
    I really don’t like Sam.
    My next thought is that Kristie and Flick sound almost exactly the same.
    Oh wait advantage now I have no idea what is going to happen.
    It wasn’t smart for Kristie to flip back but it was smart for Flick to realise she was voting with Lee and El.
    This use of the advantage does mean that if they want to Flick and Kristie can vote out El or Lee with Matt. Also tell me how well Matt has played now?

    • prettyboyprobst

      ep23: WTF Kristie is right, I’m just about ready to drop her from that impromptu list entirely.
      Flick otoh had a good episode overall and I feel bad for putting her so low, she should still fall somewhere in that upper echelon. I guess she couldn’t be 100% sure that they would still execute the vote split, and Sam + the advantage gone isn’t such a bad result for her. That is, if Kristie will wake up at some point before next tribal, which…
      Matt had his finger on the pulse for once, so that’s good. Not much you can do, if a necessary vote gets weird qualms about your target. What do you think he did wrong?

      • Kemper Boyd

        I don’t think he did anything wrong, my point is more we got another crowing confessional and it came to nothing. I just don’t think this can be a mark in his column.
        I also think it’s important to note that Lee made the right call on who to cancel the vote of, I was stupidly thinking do one of the girls but if it’s going against you it’s going against you with Flick out but if you feel like one of them will vote with you and one won’t (in this case El is sure of Flick and Lee is sure of Kristie) you want to see if the other has flipped.

        • prettyboyprobst

          Yeah, I think Matt had a good but not great episode. The edit doesn’t like him very much (as evidenced by the reward-scenes that got glossed over and these interview scenes, which btw, I feel like we have seen bits and pieces from that interview with the ocean in the background for many episodes now), but unlike Flick, everything he did was pretty basic, whereas she had to walk a tightrope and avoid a number of mines and did so masterfully, I thought.

      • Figaro

        I think the only thing Matt did “wrong” goes back at least several episodes. He didn’t form/solidify a strong bond with Kristie and Lee did.
        I wish El had gone home instead, but fair play to Lee for being a support system for Kirstie over their time out there so that she now doesn’t want to ‘betray him’ by voting him out. That’s at least shows a very strong social game from him.

  • sharculese

    Episode 23 hot off the presses. (I print these reviews and then have them faxed to the website. The internet works that way.)

  • turgid_legume

    Maybe it was the episodes I was watching, but something was seriously fucked with the editing of ep. 23. It started off with “previously on” stuff that wasn’t in ep. 22 (the day part of the reward.) They never showed the actual part of the reward where the three decide to make a new alliance. They just allude to it happening off-screen. It was very confusing.

    And I think we can now definitively answer the question of whether Kristy has gotten this far by being good or being dragged/lucky/whatever. It’s definitely the latter. It’s just sad watching her ping-pong and flail about.

    My winner pick is Matt, based on the edit. It could also be Flick. I don’t think it will be Lee or El, despite them being in the best positions. (Seriously, at tribal council, when they said they were not in power, I just wanted someone to stand up and stop taking their shit. Of course you’re in power you ding dongs, anyone that ends up with you in a final three goes home unless they win the final individual immunity.)

    • sharculese

      I thought I just didn’t remember it, but yeah, I looked at the reward stuff and thought “this didn’t happen last time,” too.

      Is Matt getting a good edit, though? I feel like we’re being made to see him as completely clueless. Every episode he’s supremely confident that things are gonna happen that… don’t.

      • turgid_legume

        Oh yeah, without a doubt he’s been shown to be a real dodo on multiple occasions. But he’s at least narrating the action, which is more than you can say of El or Lee. Flick also gets to talk a lot, but I think she’s being set up for the role of the person who schemes too hard and gets punished for it, under the assumption that Australian Survivor is still stuck in the past in terms of player archetypes.

        • sharculese

          Yeah, I don’t think Flick’s edit is meant to be positive. I think, if she gets to the end, she’ll get Nick’s vote for being the person who tried to actually play the game, but I don’t know who else.

        • prettyboyprobst

          Interesting perspective. I just can’t get over the fact, that it would have been really easy to make Matt look much better (just ommit a few Brooke&Flick confessionals), but you’re right, competition in the edit department isn’t too tough. Everyone is flaaawed.
          Yeah, it will be interesting to see how the jury votes and what that means in turn for the edit. I hope they get a real choice and not just Lee and El, who are like a less strategic Rob&Amber.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        I’m also sad to see Kristie exposed as definitely not secretly good at Survivor. I think Lee is going to win, partly because of a lack of plausible alternatives, partly because he seems likely to just Holloway to the end (seriously, if Lee can win the doghouse challenge, he can win any type of challenge against the remaining players).

        • sharculese

          I think Kristie’s basic plan was fine – go with a Sandra-esque floater strategy and ensure that you’re never the most pressing target. The problem is that strategy relies a lot on building relations and being able to make your case at the end, and the only person she seems to have a strong bond with is Lee.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            To win, you also need a Lil or a Russell, which Kristie doesn’t have. I suppose there’s nothing dishonorable about accepting your fate as a third-place pawn if flipping will also put you in third place or worse, but 1) at least be honest about it, and 2) it makes for excruciatingly boring Survivor. It’s like the endgame of Cook Islands, except nobody’s being paralyzed by the Tyler Perry idol.

          • sharculese

            I don’t think that’s strictly correct. Danni won without Stephenie being completely objectionable as a winner. There’s a cocktail of circumstances that contribute to the floater strategy working, but I don’t think Kristie knows what they are.

      • prettyboyprobst

        I paused and left fullscreen to check on the episode number again, even though I knew I couldn’t have missed two episodes from monday to sunday. Has there ever been something so weird about the NToS/PoS-segments?

        I guess it could have something to do with the acclerated airing of the season. Remember, they planned with two episodes a week and I heard there have been episodes that didn’t get delivered until mere hours before the broadcast, because editing and post production worked until the air-date on some episodes.

  • sharculese

    Totally off topic question, except it’s on sort of because of Mills vs Gennies (I’m calling it that now), what’s the okay band that’s an offshoot from a great band with the best one great song. My picks are either the Foo Fighters with “Monkey Wrench” or Band of Horses with “The Funeral.”

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      I may be confused about the rules. The offshoot band has to 1) be the lesser band, but also 2) have the single best song between the two bands. Is that right? So Gnarls Barkley violates the first rule and Tom Tom Club violates the second, correct? The Breeders with “Cannonball”. New Order with, I dunno, “True Faith” maybe? Journey, if I’m both giving in to guilty pleasures and feeling extra GenXy.

      • sharculese

        I was pretty drunk when I wrote that, and I’m not sure what I meant, so let’s standardize the rules:

        1.) At least 2 members of the previous band have to carry over to the new band. So Tom Tom Club or Jefferson Starship are in, Gnarls Barkley and The Breeders are out.

        2.) The latter act has to be obviously inferior to the prior act.

        3.) The latter act’s song doesn’t have to be the best song between the two, it just has to be substantially better than anything else they did.

        So based on my criteria, I’m sticking with “The Funeral.” Although there’s probably a case for something New Order did, although I feel like I’d go with “Blue Monday.”

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          Rule #3 really narrows the field. Foo Fighters have a bunch of songs nearly as good as “Monkey Wrench” (just on “The Colour and the Shape” alone). New Order and Wings get knocked out for having multiple standout songs.

          OK: Tom Tom Club, “Genius of Love”

          Oh wait! Zwan, “Honestly”

          Winner, winner, chicken bloody dinner.

          • andythesaint

            Yeah, depends on how much you want to count “substantially better than anything else they did”. Because I’m not sure Blue Monday is substantially better than Bizarre Love Triangle.

          • sharculese

            I considered throwing in “Walkin’ on the Wire” with the justification that Linda Thomspon did sing on one Fairport Convention track, but I hesitated because I wasn’t sure how much better I was declaring “Walkin’ on the Wire” to be compared to the rest of their output.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Too bad Black Dynamite isn’t here to rank these.

        • Kemper Boyd

          Then the answer is Dirty Pretty Things, Bang Bang You’re Dead. Carl Barat and Gary Powell of the Libertines formed them, they are clearly not as good as the original and Bang Bang You’re Dead is 100% their best song and is as a fucking great song.

    • Kemper Boyd

      I literally don’t understand the question, can it be a solo act? If so it’s Lauryn Hill’s Doo Wop (That Thing).
      Here is a list of off shoot bands with great songs:
      Little Feat: Willin’
      ELO: Mister Blue Sky
      New Order: World in Motion
      The Flying Burrito Brothers: Wild Horses
      Dirty Pretty Things: Bang Bang You’re Dead

    • andythesaint

      “Blue Monday” by New Order, no question. I also challenge the notion that Band of Horses is obviously inferior to Carissa’s Wierd.

      • sharculese

        Band of Horses have always come across to me as a perfectly fine and workmanlike alt-country group, but I listen to alt-country for the pain, and outside of the “The Funeral” they never really gave that.

        Carissa’s Wierd, on the other hand, was this strange shambolic mess that absolutely should not have worked but came together time and time again to make something transcendent. It’s sloppy gibberish that somehow coheres into something more than the sum of it’s parts.

        • HBO CEO of Tits

          I love that whole first boh album. All the songs are great, and like 2 or 3 others are great in that painful way you like.

  • Kemper Boyd

    So now Flick 100% needs to take out Lee so it’s El who’s left who has loyalty to her over everyone else.
    Matt is in trouble where everyone has loyalty to each other over him (I mean Lee, El and Kristie).
    Kristie needs to get there somehow.
    Lee and El can do whatever and try and go with each other because at this point we don’t know which one it’s a stupid idea for (I think El). I think it goes:
    Lee beats everyone
    El beats everyone but Lee
    Flick beats Matt and Kristie

    Matt beats Kristie
    Kristie is the goat.

    I could be persuaded to swap Matt and Flick around based on bitterness of jury.

    • prettyboyprobst

      Everyone needs to get out Lee or El next, preferably Lee. It’s so obvious, they’re officially on the bottom now, right? Right, Kristie? F5 is their last chance, and it’s only still there because Lee played the vote canceller tonight.

      • Kemper Boyd

        Yep, when he played the canceller I thought “they can get him at 5 now”. But it was the right play because Flick could have 3-2-1’d them had he not played it.

        • prettyboyprobst

          I know, she could have. I was flabbergasted when it became clear that they were still intending to do the vote split despite the Kristie bombshells and it gave me just a little bit of hope, that Flick would do the unthinkable and flip again. But yeah, getting the Sam boot out of the way wasn’t such a bad thing at all, just to be sure. It was just sooo frustrating to watch the Kristie meltdown.
          I think the right move for Lee and El was to put 3 votes on somebody and save the canceller, but that could still have backfired, just not as easily. That’s much easier evaluated from where I am, then from what they know, though, but it did seem (as Fishback pointed out) that they were much more worried about Kristie flipping than about Flick.

          • Kemper Boyd

            They were deffo more concerned about Kristie. El is definitely putting too much trust in Flick.

  • Master Prudent

    “Then Kristie decides to Kristie it up by getting super weepy for no clear reason.”

    49 days of little sleep, shit food and stressful social maneuvering with new people. Some people cope easily with that. Kristie, quite reasonably, does not.

    • sharculese

      It was more a “why this moment?” thing.

  • Guest rite

    These terrible people. This excruciating endgame. The boundless hypocrisy of these players. How you can sit talking about how you’re going to cut the fourth member of your alliance and then be upset when she wants to make a move is beyond me. El actually said she was “Really mad” Why!? I guess she is just supposed to accept that only the good people are supposed to win Survivor and that she is only good enough to be fourth. Urgh. And Lee complaining that Sam was targeting him after he had told Sam that he was giving himself permission to do whatever he needed to do to win. So upsetting. His conversation with Kristie in 23 was just the worst. Stop thinking about who is going to win. Anything can happen so you shouldn’t do anything. Just because El and I have an inseparable bound and continually preach how it is wrong to betray those close to you doesn’t mean that I will take her! Pull the other one, mate! If I was Kristie I would have said Great, so will you promise to take me to the finals then? But deals are probably immoral when they aren’t made with your bestie.

    At least Sam is gone. He was the worst.

    • prettyboyprobst

      Kristie is also the worst, because that BS actually worked on her, at least for now. And don’t get me started on why she needed to have that conversation in the first place, not to mention the other mental breakdown in the shelter before that.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        Yeah, I have to put that mostly on Kristie. Lee did the only thing he could do–soothingly tell Kristie to stay loyal and not give her any rationale to do so (because there is none) and just hope you can Jedi Mind Trick her. He was probably shocked as much as anybody that it worked.

        • prettyboyprobst

          He had to come up with something on the spot (actually two times this episode) and especially that second time appeared to do a pretty bad job, but somehow it was still enough to mind trick her.

          But it still left a bad taste, and not just because I was so mad at Kristie. I guess I’m 50/50 on if he actually believes she should stick with them and be fine with third place, or if he just gave it his best shot.

          The more I think about it, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

          • Guest rite

            If there was one confessional from Lee about needing to stop people from thinking about getting rid of him or El I would be 100% behind him. I have no problem with inert game play when it is effective. I understand, nay applaud, using morality to manipulate others. Unfortunately, I think Lee actually believes that the “deserving” should win and that those strategising are immoral.

          • prettyboyprobst

            I’m still waiting for such a confessional from Kate. 🙁

            I got the impression that Lee really thinks along those lines as well, but at this point I don’t think he would begrudge people for making moves to win the game, even if against him. I guess the “undeserving” are only those that betrayed him by going against “the alliance” “too early”, meaning Sam was the last one that really had to go. Matt is in Lee’s eyes probably also not as deserving because, he’s not that good kind of bloke to begin with, but he doesn’t feel Matt backstabbed him, so aligning with him is probably not a sin, per se.

            With Kristie, he may have dreaded the prospect of losing El over Sam specifically, but I think he was more taken aback and bewildered by the whole situation. He couldn’t tell Kristie what she probably wanted to hear (Taking her over El to F2, because he either didn’t want to lie, or knew that it would be so transparent of a lie, that he couldn’t pull it off in convincing fashion.), but understandably he also didn’t want to advise her to vote El out, so he improvised with gibberish.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Episode 24: Yeah, about that…
            Let’s just say episode 24 presents more evidence that could tilt this argument in your favor.

    • Kemper Boyd

      Sam was the worst, his hypocracy was been totally unbearable. Kristie is the worst for not making a move. Lee is the worst for not wanting to play the game. El is the worst (not really PrettyBoy) because she’s so boring, plus believes Flick too much, Matt is the worst for not doing well enough and Flick is the best for noticing Kristie had flipped back on her and not voting for El.

  • TheForRealDeal

    Great take by Jonathan reading the advantage like he’d never seen it before. Only would have been improved if he had put on his reading spectacles beforehand.

  • this bear is tops blooby

    I started watching this, only 3 episodes in, but it’s kind of long. Could use some editing. Otherwise, it’s ok.

    • prettyboyprobst

      Don’t worry, it gets better (before it gets worse).

      • this bear is tops blooby

        Hahaha

        • sharculese

          No seriously it becomes a slog. There’s a swap twist that’s Fiji levels of misguided.

          • this bear is tops blooby

            That’s exactly why I laughed. Because of course!

          • this bear is tops blooby

            Also I could see it happening, especially with the long season and long episode running times.

  • prettyboyprobst

    Programming note:
    http://disq.us/p/1ctwr94

    • sharculese

      Related programming note: John says I can do a post on Australian Survivor All-Star Family Feud if I can find a stream for it. Just giving you a heads up as one of the people who seems most likely to be able to help me with that.

      • prettyboyprobst

        Yeah, I saw you inquire about that and thought “that’s a big if!”, to find a stream for that, but then again, I didn’t think it would be so easy to watch Survivor AU. Anyway, I will do my best. We’ll see on Oct. 30th. Btw, I think the cast is a little bit of a letdown.

        As for E24 (no spoilers), be ready for a big dose of grade A hypocracy!

        • sharculese

          Let’s just say what I’ve written for this episode is less of a recap and more of a rant. Everyone gets it pretty hard, even Flick.

          • prettyboyprobst

            As she should. And I would deem a rant the only appropriate format in a case like this.

      • prettyboyprobst

        One more thing: Survivor AU just got renewed a couple of days ago!

        Are you and Kemper still up for covering Season 2 here? That would be great!

  • prettyboyprobst

    Spoilers for E24:
    I’m so dumbfounded, I don’t even know where to begin. I will say this though: The level of hypocracy and misguided moral outrage is something I can almost appreciate at this point. It makes for great villainy and I’m really invested in not wanting any of these guys to win.
    The absolutely mind-boggling bad gameplay is another story, though. It can be fun at times, not to have everybody always apply rational thinking for every single one of their decisions or to have people plainly make mistakes. But if it reaches this level of awfulness, that I can’t even begin to understand, what a certain people are thinking, then I’m ready for this season to be over and done with.

    I’m not getting more specific for now, so no names pop out in case people accidentally hover over this comment, but I assume people will know who I’m talking about, if they watched already.

    • turgid_legume

      Jesus tapdancing Christ. The show owes a bunch of people new televisions, because I’m sure there were a lot of objects thrown at screens in frustration. These people are total disgraces to the game, and have no business calling themselves players. The sole thing keeping my interest was a Matt win, and now it seems like the unthinkable will happen and the despicable hypocrites Lee and El will actually be the final two. This is a disaster of a season.

      • prettyboyprobst

        While I’m sure that Flick is responsible for more than enough living room damage on her own, I still want her to win over any of these other three dimwits.
        After she’s inevitably voted out next, though, I’m afraid I’ll have to retract part of my prior statement and pull for Lee to win. At least he has done something to influence the outcome.
        Kristie was the worst for the second episode in a row, the way she lets Lee (and El) manipulate her against her best interests. And in such a condescending way, it’s hard to believe she still voted with them, after they belittled her both in camp and even in front of the jury!
        What’s funny is, I wasn’t even invested in the final part of the IC. I thought Lee winning would actually better Matt’s chances to reach FTC, as there wouldn’t be a danger of a three-girls-alliance voting him out at final four. If Lee loses the next IC, he would have been an obvious target and if he doesn’t, Matt would have had about as good of a chance as Flick to survive the next vote, and just a slightly worse chance than Kristie. It didn’t want to believe that he would need immunity to survive this vote, despite the fact that he had about a dozen confessionals in the first ten minutes before the challenge, whereas El had none.
        That’s how little sense it made to keep El around for three of the five contestants.