People’s Survivor blog: The results were doctored

This season, we’ve got a big surprise for you: Survivor host Jeff Probst will be stopping by each week to give us his thoughts on the show and the players.

People Survivor Blog by Jeff Probst

This blog post is definitely written by Jeff Probst, host of Survivor, and not that guy who wrote the People’s Survivor blog posts last season. It is most certainly not a parody, but if it were it would probably have been written by John. You can follow John on Twitter @purplerockjohn or @purplerockpod. And you can follow me, Jeff Probst, on twitter @jeffprobst.

I know everyone is obsessed with social media these days, but I’m old school and I prefer a more personal touch. So I was thrilled when one of my nearest and dearest friends, Boston Rob, took some time this week to reach out to me with one of the oldest forms of social media: a letter.

Kaoh Rong- Probst cease and desist from Boston Rob

Always great to hear from Rob. He’s so great. But I promised the Purple Rock staff that I would focus on this season, so let’s talk about that episode. (Rob really is great, though. Carries his family on his back. And so handsome. And funny.)

Unfortunately, Rob isn’t playing this time. But we do have Jason, who is probably one of the top 50 right-handed bounty hunters under 40 years old in the Southeast Michigan greater metropolitan area. And nothing was going to stop him from getting the immunity idol, even if it meant knocking down a 95-pound woman. It was like an unstoppable force meeting an easily-movable 95-pound object.

Kaoh Rong- Jason knocks down Alecia
Ha ha ha! Silly girl, immunity idols aren’t for you.

Over at the Beauty tribe’s beach, Tai was also successful in getting the immunity idol. And I’ve been hearing from a lot of you about how much you love Tai. He’s getting so much love that it reminds me of one of the most popular Survivor players ever.

Tai as Rupert
I will ruin Tai for all of you. Just wait.

But we finally got to spend some time with the Brains tribe this week, and I was really happy about that. A lot of people think I have something against brainy intellectual types, but that’s not true at all. I see myself as one of them. My 4th grade science project actually got an honorable mention in my school’s science fair, so I like to think I’d be a Brains tribe member if I ever played (I made a volcano using vinegar and baking soda, in case you were wondering).

Speaking of science, the Brains tribe losing the immunity challenge allowed us to check out Debbie’s chemistry with the rest of her tribe. And because of the way the lines have been drawn in the tribe, it looks like she’s in a position of…power?

Kaoh Rong- Debbie the water felon
Thanks for the new chyron, Purple Rock!

Remember when Coach was actually taken seriously in South Pacific? Hopefully I’ve now set your expectations for this season at the proper level.

At tribal council, Peter laid his superiority on thick, just like the president he looks like. “As an ER doctor, social interaction is what I’m a professional in,” he said. I guess when all of your practice comes from talking to people screaming in pain or attached to a morphine drip, you tend to think you’re pretty good at talking to them.

But not even Peter doing his best to dig his own grave could stop the tribe from getting rid of the nerdiest robot nerd of all, Liz. Really tough break for Liz. Now all she has going for her in life is being really smart and attractive. It’s going to be rough for her out there in the real world.

Kaoh Rong- Liz laughing
If she would’ve met JT on OkCupid, maybe she would’ve done better. 

That’s all for this week. Tune in next week to watch a bunch of people get really hurt and require medical attention. LOL! It’s gonna be great!

 

John
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John

John is the co-host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast. He is still not sure if it was just a f*%king stick.

Favorite seasons: Heroes vs. Villains, Cagayan, Pearl Islands, Tocantins
John
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  • Mike Hirsch

    I wonder how Tai’s madman bellow would rate compared to Rupert’s? I’d guess “favorably.”

  • I am a little shocked that Boston Rob would have a lawyer whose name is a Harry Potter reference. He feels more like a Hunger Games fan to me.

    • Violina23

      I could TOTALLY see Ginny Weasley-Potter becoming a cut-throat lawyer…

      • Me too. If I remember Rowling’s after-Potter report, she becomes a Quidditch player and sports reporter.

        • Violina23

          She’d probably be really great at Survivor!

          • No, you’re forgetting one thing-she’s a strong woman. She would be out because she would intimidate the guys.

          • Kemper Boyd

            I dunno, she’s got 6 brothers so she knows how to deal with dudes and she is strong and athletic enough she is probably not being voted out pre-merge over a weaker woman. It’s proven she can make friends with men and women and is smart but people often underestimate her. Is it just me or could she have Kim upside?

          • Good point.

          • Violina23

            What Kemper_Boyd said. She’d plant ideas in their head, and then stand on the sidelines with Mr. Burns fingers watching them destroy each other. Then she’d do a bat-bogey hex and call it a day 😉

          • Kemper Boyd

            We 100% need to do this as an off season project. Not necessarily an All Harry Potter Survivor season but how would Harry Potter characters do in Survivor.

          • Other Scott

            Presumably Hermione would do exactly the same as Liz.

          • Kemper Boyd

            Oh Hermione would 100% over think her game.

          • Diego Armando

            Ron would be Carter. The camera would ignore him completely.

          • Violina23

            Exactly. And it can also include side characters…. Gilderoy Lockhart would be a great “coach” character. Luna Lovegood has some Shirin quirkiness…. this is gold, guys! 😉

          • Kemper Boyd

            The more I think about it the more this has to be a how would each character do not an all Harry Potter Survivor season.

          • Violina23

            That’s where I think I was going with it 🙂

  • Saturday Night Palsy

    I wonder if it bothers Probst when he gets to call a bro by their last name and it sounds like a first name.

  • DrVanNostrand

    “If she would’ve met JT on OkCupid, maybe she would’ve done better.”

    Somewhere, Stephen just started weeping uncontrollably.

  • Hornacek

    In which state will Tai be running for governor in 9 years?