PRP at NYC KIA: An oral history

Is it going to screw up our SEO to talk about PRP at NYC KIA for HHH? IDK. 

What follows is a late-to-the-party oral history of the time when a bunch of PRP regulars met up at a Survivor event in New York. Sure, it was for another podcast. But in fairness to them, PRP would never host a meetup because it involves planning and effort. Another thing that involves effort is editing together an oral history from several different accounts of the same event, which is why it took so long for this to actually get posted to our site. Anyway, it’s the offseason now, and we’re in full-on fan service mode. Enjoy this story, and use the comments to plan your next meetup. But please, do not murder each other at these meetups- it would be terrible for our site’s brand.

Blurry Denzel:

I was on the fence about actually going to the Live Know-It- Alls event this season. It’s fun every time I go to Survivor related events. The Survivor alumni are very kind and very open to engaging overly energetic and awkward fans like myself. But after going to the last couple of KIA events plus other meetups, I was worried that I’d run out of things to say to players and end up just going through the motions. Part of me wanted to get out before it stopped being fun. I was texting with my Trust Cluster that I watch Survivor with, and a couple of them wouldn’t even be in town when KIA was happening. Perhaps this was a sign that I should just skip the event this year.

But before I completely gave up on going, I sent a link to the tickets to Ms. Woozah, Violina23 and EmAndScoutinBK- all people I’ve met before and had a fabulous time with.

There was a previous conversation I had with Kemper Boyd where I promised to inform her as soon as I found out when the next KIA was happening. I figured it was some longshot thing. Maybe if shit lined up exactly right, Kemper could be able to plan out a trip from London to New York in the two months of notice she was getting.

Well, turns out shit did line up right. About an hour after I sent the link she mentions on Twitter how she just met Em in London and how she wants to come to NY and meet the PRP people in that area. What are the odds this all happens the same day? I inform her I sent a link for KIA tickets and I swear not even five minutes later she tells me that she bought three tickets.

Kemper Boyd:

EmAndScoutinBK came over to London as part of her bachelorette party, and I got the pleasure of having dinner with her and her friend (who happens to be an irregular commenter). We met up twice and got drunk enough on that first night that I purchased KIA live tickets on a bus home at midnight. Thus, the largescale PRP NY meet up was born.

Blurry Denzel:

I’m floored by this. I text the Trust Cluster that I 100% have to go to KIA now.

Please don’t call it that.

We plan out that we are going to meet for dinner before the show. There are like 10 of us meeting up, greatly exceeding my expectations.

ERocklee:

I admit to having a lot of trepidation in attending the Purple Rock Podcast meetup at Survivor Know It Alls.  For one thing I had never really had that strong a desire to attend a Know It Alls lest a wild Dan Foley show up.  Additionally, this season is terrible. Oh, and the fact that I don’t really comment on the site and stick to the twitter. But I knew and adored BKEmandScout, and really had a mega friend crush on kemperboyd, so I decided to attend.

Kemper Boyd:

Unlike most people’s remembrances of the meetup, mine stretches over five glorious days where I saw someone I met on Purple Rock every single day.

On Tuesday night- after a 5-hour nap to stave off jetlag- I met up with Em and Blurry Denzel for dinner and the first round of shouting at each other about Survivor and social justice issues.

Blurry Denzel:

Meeting someone you’ve already developed a friendship with for the time is so strange. Being called Blurry Denzel to my face is something I still can’t fully comprehend.

I’m on a high when Em walks in the restaurant. We’ve met once prior to this but we interact like we’re lifelong friends. She also told me my job was to be “professionally handsome” which is both the best compliment I’ll hear for the rest of the year and, coming from Em, puts me on the same level as Ken.

As good of an excuse as any to include this gif

Kemper arrives and I’m instantly giggling over the awesome accent. It’s not surprising, since she’s from London. It’s not like she is going to have an Alabama sound (though she should do that to fuck with people in the future). And the cherry on top-I got to meet both Em’s wonderful wife and Scout. I met fucking Scout! Real celebrity shit right there.

The next day at dinner before the show was even better. We invade this diner at around 5 pm, and we have a pretty swanky setup in the front. We’re rolling 10 deep. It’s Em, Kemper, Ms. Woozah, Alkanarra, Eric, Alycia Swift, Vaderdawsn, Violina23, her awesome husband and myself.

Violina23:

After saying hello and giving Kemper a hug, I told her that I was really excited to hear her talk (You know, because British people make everything sound more sophisticated). That’s not at all awkward or weird.

Kemper Boyd:

The KIA Meetup was in my eyes perfect; it began with a horrifically early dinner at a diner near the event, and from the moment our friend Erocklee brought out his list of ice breaker questions we were rolling on Survivor good times.

ERocklee:

Being an over analyzer with a strong anxiety disorder, I refused to go in unprepared. We were meeting at the diner before the show and I was coming with ice breakers. Here are some of the truly thought-provoking questions that were asked that night (feel free to play at home):

  1. Favorite Season (Casual). Correct Answer: China
  2. Least Favorite Season (Also Casual)
  3. Most Overrated Season
  4. Favorite Guilty Pleasure Season
  5. Most Controversial Opinion
  6. Favorite Winner
  7. Favorite just shy of finals jury boot
  8. Best Player never to win who isn’t named Cirie
  9. Person We Never Wish To See Come Back
  10. Who is your Survivor Crush? (I choose Jaison!)

Kemper Boyd:

Many easy opinions were shared; HvV is my favourite season, Katie Collins is my all-time Survivor crush and as we all know Em loves her some Ken. I did however get to share my hot take that Amanda Kimmel is a top 10 Survivor player.

Violina23:

There is an obscene amount of Survivor knowledge amongst this group. Being that I was only a casual fan until I discovered the AV Club, I am truly not worthy of this group’s knowledge base.  But they allowed me to stay, and left me with instructions to watch Pearl Islands.

Blurry Denzel:

We’re at this long table in the front of the diner, swapping stories, sharing what’s going on in our lives and naturally talking about Survivor. Simple moments like this are the ones that stuck with me. Just a really awesome community getting to spend time together.

But that wasn’t all- there was Survivor to get to.

Kemper Boyd:

We went and got in line for the theatre and get a primo spot in the middle of a middle row, I busted out the Cadbury Heroes and other British treats I brought with me. The episode was fine but honestly wasn’t really made for such a huge screen.

Blurry Denzel:

Watching Survivor on a movie theater screen is fucking weird. It was like the going to the next big Marvel premiere, only the legends of Survivor past are the big Hollywood stars. When Cirie Fields walks into the room, there were uproarious cheers and all eyes were on her. People stand in queue just to get a moment with her.

Rob gets on stage to introduce the episode and we get some video message from Jeff Probst. We’ve really reached the big time now.

Violina:

Before the show aired, they played the welcome message that Jeff Probst recorded for us on the gigantic movie screen. The camera was at a decent zoom, so his dimples must have been a foot tall.

Things that looked good on a huge movie screen:

  1. Devon or JP’s abs (Honestly, I can’t remember which one. I was overwhelmed by 6-packs which were more like 6-feet packs)
  2. Desi (she was glistening, you guys)
  3. Giant Steaks. (I realize that this might have been terrifying to vegetarians.)

Things that did NOT look good on a huge movie screen:

  1. Various skin conditions that stem from being outdoors for several weeks with no bathing.
  2. Feet
  3. Bugs & Spiders (Damnit, Survivor, I know you like your metaphors, but LAY. OFF.)

Blurry Denzel:

The episode starts and everyone in the theater is on the edge of the seats. There is cheering when something exciting happens, laughter when ridiculous shit occurs and some subdued mourning from the PRP row when someone we liked gets voted out. It all makes the show we watch feel important.

Kemper Boyd:

The crowd cheered when it became clear Chrissy wasn’t going home but the PRP row all groaned at the loss of Jessica (who the big screen had helped me realise is really pretty). We are a bunch who doesn’t enjoy women paying for the mistakes of men or women being seen as the easy target.

The KIA recording was fun. Seeing Rob and Stephen’s dynamic made it more accessible, but the highlight really was hearing Cirie talk about the game. She and Jessica Lewis were insightful and funny, and Cirie called Tom an idiot and refused to say JT’s name.

Em spent an age chatting with Jessica Lewis about lawyery things and she talked to us all about how much she loves the fan community, plus she loved my accent and took a video she didn’t (and hopefully won’t ever) post.

Violina23:

Jessica Lewis was ridiculously excited to be there. She took a few selfies with the crowd behind her. We are definitely visible in the background.

Some random bunch of nobodies and some PRP superstars

Kemper Boyd:

After the show, Violina wanted to go and meet Cirie before she had to head off back to New Jersey.

Violina23:

I was hesitant to try to approach any Survivors after the show, mostly because I made such a fool out of myself last time (particularly with Rob and Stephen). But when you have a chance to say hi to Cirie Fields, you say hi to Cirie Fields.

Blurry Denzel:

We ended up walking a few feet behind Cirie and her family to the bar. We are totally not stalkers.

Violina23:

I’m happy that Kemper came with me, because I was less prone to turning into a bumbling idiot.

Kemper Boyd:

Blurry Denzel and I accompanied her and for the first time in the night we used the line “Hi, this is Bea, she came all the way from England” to get her to stop on her way to the bathroom and chat with us. Let me tell you this, Cirie is awesome, she’s warm and she’s welcoming, she hugged us both and laughed when I told her Micronesia is the reason I’m such a huge fan. In that one interaction I understood why she is so good at Survivor.

Violina23:

Cirie is as awesome as she appears; very warm and appreciative of her fans. There is more to this story, but it is Kemper’s to tell.

Kemper Boyd:

We left Cirie and went to the toilet before we all said goodbye and moved on to the bar. Happy after my conversation with Cirie, and convinced only the people I knew were in the bathroom, I called out, “Why are there huge holes in between the doors and walls of your bathrooms?!” I said I felt like people could see me peeing, and then I heard a familiar voice say “Where is that accent from?” followed by a loud laugh.

Yes, Cirie had also entered the bathroom and was peeing in there. I became flustered and apologised (I don’t know why). I think I said it was still a valid question. (Editor’s note: It is.)

Violina, Ms Woozah and Samantha all laughed at me a lot though, so that was nice. Em, Blurry Denzel, Alycia Swift, and I then went on to the bar. Or more accurately we didn’t know where we were going and we kind of just followed Cirie and her party like a bunch of weirdo stalkers. Once at the bar Jarrad (Cirie’s son) wasn’t allowed in because he was carded.

Blurry Denzel:

The after party is so fun. A bunch of Survivor fans interacting with former players and podcasters you’ll normally hear on the RHAP network. Everyone is so warm and nice plus so engaging and willing to take many blurry pictures with you as you forget how to take a selfie. Also it’s at a bar with alcohol, so that’s a nice bonus, though it doesn’t get too rowdy.

Very on-brand blurry picture

Kemper Boyd:

We met Andrea by using the line about me coming so far. She was lovely- mainly she was really concerned that Devon stayed around so she can keep looking at him. As we were outside, Rob and Nicole Cesternino arrived and Nicole was gracious enough to grab Rob to chat with us.

A big highlight of the night for me was meeting some of the Survivor commentariat: Josh Wigler was a delight and Mike Bloom chatted with us about the sexual and racial dynamics that make Survivor interesting and troubling to watch. Dom Harvey and Sarah Channon chatted to me generally about being British fans and promised a London meetup at some point. And Lita Brillman chatted to me about So You Think You Can Dance.

Blurry Denzel:

There are just fun, animated conversations about Survivor and other topics. It’s full nerddom and it’s fully embraced and I love that atmosphere. Thanks to Rob for making such a fun event for fans to gather and shout out to Stephen, Andrea, Cirie and Jessica for being so awesome to chat with.

Violina:

The KIA live show was fun, but hanging out with everyone was really amazing.  Definitely worth driving in Manhattan. And that says a lot.

Kemper Boyd:

The amazing weekend continued on Thursday when Blurry Denzel and I went over to Em’s apartment to hang out with Scout, eat burgers to cure our hangovers and try and watch the perfect season of Survivor.

We began with the Pearl Islands premiere where we marveled at Sandra and how fucking awful Morgan were in the marooning and generally (holy sexual harassment when the penises came out during the first challenge); the Drewchebag episode of SJDS, where we marveled at Drew in general and saw the seeds of what made Natalie Anderson such a fun winner and Wentworth such a fun returnee; Banana Etiquette and the Merge episodes of HvV, where again we laughed with Sandra and Parvati and discussed whether Tyson’s move is truly a top 5 dumb move. We followed up with It’s a Turtle to see the fall of the 4 Horsemen and discuss why Cassandra is so hated (it’s the racist reason you think) then moved on the Russell Feathers, where you get to see a Survivor go from solid in her alliance to flipping completely because of 2 comments from Gervase. We then watched Erik Reichenbach commit the actual dumbest move in Survivor history and watch the greatest play from 4 truly brilliant women, who each played their part perfectly, and hear BD’s all-time favourite line “Mama always said you can’t always beat them with these (points at muscles), but you can always beat them with this (points at brain)”. We finished with Denise Stapley’s final tribal council performance and victory (we decided to minimise our viewing of [Redacted]) but all agreed that Lisa played a really good game and is underrated. An utterly perfect Survivor day with utterly perfect Survivor friends.

We also played Fuck Marry Kill with every Final 3. I expect your answers in the comments, I may even start a thread for each season (and yes for some seasons there is only one acceptable answer).

On Friday Blurry Denzel, Em, Erocklee, Ms Woozah and I went for dinner and cocktails, joined by Em’s lovely wife who was very kind to put up with our Survivor nerdery. We did Fuck, Marry, Kill some more and got so drunk I had a horrible hangover until about an hour before my flight home the following night.

I know this is the kind of sentimental schmaltzy nonsense we don’t usually do until you thank us all for being our awesome selves at the end of the finale podcast but Andy, John, Emma, Matt and Mark, thank you so much for this place. Thank you for somehow creating the kindest, friendliest community I’ve found for Survivor (and more) online. Thank you for hosting a place I could make friends I like so much I would travel across an ocean to see them. And especially thank you to EmnScoutinBK, famous handsome man Blurry Denzel, Ms Woozah, Violina23 (and her husband, and her friend Samantha), Ms Woozah, Alycia Swift, Alkanarra and Erocklee for all coming to hang out with me- some of them multiple times and one of them every day.

Blurry Denzel:

The whole week hanging with PRP members was awesome. Some of the coolest, good hearted people I’ve had the pleasure to be around. I’m so thankful for finding this community. This is the only place online where you will find me chatting and it’s 100% because of the people here. It’s not just for the Survivor but these weird, wonderful relationships being built. I’m here to make friends and awed that I may have been successful in my quest. I definitely hope that PRP meetups can become a biannual thing during KIA time. I would enjoy meeting every single one of you and I assure everyone that it’s a great time to be had. (Editor’s note: Even Saturday Night Palsy? Fuck that guy.)

Kemper Boyd:

I am coming back and I expect more of you to join me next time.

John
Follow me:

John

John is the co-host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast. He can get loud too, what the fuck!

Favorite seasons: Heroes vs. Villains, Cagayan, Pearl Islands, Tocantins, Cambodia
John
Follow me:
  • Blurry Denzel

    Reading this all back is bringing back all those fond memories and drunken momemts. I was drunk for a decent amount of it. That week was some of the best times I had all year.

    And yes, I even want to meet Saturday Night Palsy. Though it would be partly to avenge Final Boss Emma, who is the rightful Outcast league champ in our hearts.

  • I am legit tearing up at work although I had heard much of these stories already. This is so awesome!

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      We love you

    • Kemper Boyd

      We totally love you too.

    • Violina23

      We love you and we will get you here!!!

    • Hornacek
  • Purple Rock Emma

    Does the FMK game only apply to seasons that had a final three, or just the top three finishers of every season?

    • Max_Jets

      This is important, because I think we all want to tell everyone else that we would marry Cirie.

      • purplerockandy

        Oh snap. We need to kill Amanda.

        • purplerockandy

          Which is extra upsetting given what I just did to her a season previous.

      • Blurry Denzel

        We all married Cirie. Micronesia was one we all agreed on and it pained us all to kill Amanda.

        • Max_Jets

          In a way it’s the hardest one, even though it’s the easiest.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            One World is also hard.

          • Max_Jets

            I was thinking that. Poor Chelsea.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            YUP.

          • I was thinking Sabrina would be the K in that ocassion for me.

          • corndogshuffle

            I was too, but very reluctantly. One World was much more difficult than I was expecting!

          • Kemper Boyd

            She was for me. I’m marrying Kim and fucking Chelsea.

          • Purplerockmatt

            that’s what she said?

          • Blurry Denzel

            It was the hardest one that ended with a consensus choice. The hardest one, especially with the group that initially did this, was MvGX.

        • indescribable hat

          I’d kill Parvati.

      • Kemper Boyd

        I met Cirie now and I tell you this. I am 100% marrying her on that season. Parvati is a double F for her finales and I’ll marry Sandra twice.

    • purplerockandy

      I guess I’ll fuck Rudy, “but not in a queer way”.

      • EmAndScoutInBK

        He’s so fucking dead.

        • Max_Jets

          Marry Wigles, fuck Hatch? I think that’s the way to go, but I didn’t enjoy typing it out.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            I honestly can’t remember what I said, but that’s probably right. I’ll accept any answer that kills Rudy. Fuck that guy.

          • purplerockandy

            I’m confused. Do you want me to kill him or fuck him?

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            Kill him. Kill him so hard.

          • purplerockandy

            I’ll bet he’d choose death over me fucking him.

            Sadly, it is death by snu snu.

          • Mike Hirsch

            This does not fempute.

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      I believe we included the 3rd placers.

    • Blurry Denzel

      It’s definitely top three finishers of every season. I’ll take credit for introducing the game to the week.

    • I’ve heard there’s a tough one to be had that’s from a fairly recent season but isn’t the final three players, just three players that were all on the same tribe.

      I’ve heard.

      • Max_Jets

        Marry Kass, fuck Tony, kill Woo.

        • Nah, sorry. I had to edit my comment because I wasn’t clear. You just saw it before I could edit.

          • Max_Jets

            IT’S HALFWAY THROUGH THE ENTIRE SERIES, JOHN!

          • Max_Jets

            Marry Taj, Fuck…agh damn it

          • Max_Jets

            If island JT is off the table, this becomes MUCH easier.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            See, this one is easy for me. Marry Taj, fuck Stephen, Kill JT.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            Gddamnit, I got confused by you. It’s not Taj, it’s Erinn. I just marry Erinn then.

          • Max_Jets

            Don’t get confused by me, get confused by John!

          • Alycia Swift

            The same for me but I’d switch Erin and Taj.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            I mean, I would too, but Taj wasn’t in the final three

        • Alycia Swift

          I’d switch Tony and Woo.

          • Max_Jets

            Understandable, though like my wife (Kass) I am not very attracted to guys with long hair.

      • What’s happening. I don’t get this.

      • Blurry Denzel

        We threw out so many combos, I can’t possibly remember them all. The toughest one from this past season was Ali, Desi, Jessica.

        The toughest specifically geared towards me was Badass Sophie, Aubry and Hannah.

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          Did we ever get an answer from you on that one?

          • Blurry Denzel

            F: Badass Sophie
            M: Aubry
            K: Hannah

          • purplerockandy

            Whoa. I’m shook.

          • purplerockandy

            FTR:
            F Hannah
            M Sophie
            K Aubry

          • Kemper Boyd

            I agree with this opinion.

          • purplerockandy

            It is the correct one. Plus, I’d probably feel a little flattered if I cause Hannah to hyperventilate.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Ew.

          • Blurry Denzel

            I was too. It took a legit day to answer that one. I still feel bad about it.

          • Max_Jets

            I can’t upvote any answer to this question.

          • Alycia Swift

            I’d have to agree.

      • Kemper Boyd

        I stand by marrying Jessica, we are the same age, she has a stable career that she could take up in the UK and she’s very pretty.

  • EmAndScoutInBK

    I’m getting all verklempt reading this and thinking about what a wonderful 5 days that was. I love you guys so, so much.

  • Violina23

    It was a lot of fun, the highlight for me was definitely chatting with everyone over dinner. The show was fun, but it was definitely the company that made it worth it.

    Would this be an appropriate place to tell the tale of the EmAndScoutInBK birthday gathering and the Ken cake?

    • Yes, it would.

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      YOU MEAN THE BEST THING EVER?!

    • Blurry Denzel

      And the games of Resistance and Dead Last. Tell away.

    • Violina23

      Well then!

      @Erocklee had the idea for all of us to come out to Brooklyn to celebrate Em’s birthday. Since her ACTUAL birthday is the end of December (tomorrow?) we had to go back until we found a weekend that worked, which wound up being December 2nd. Strangely enough, neither of my children had a sport activity or a birthday party (Bounce house parties are one of the seven levels of parenting hell, second only behind Chuck E Cheese but I digress)

      @Erocklee also had the brilliant idea of seeing if we could get a picture of Ken on a cake to blow Em’s mind. Being as I am the one in the suburbs who would be traveling via car, I had the honor of placing an order in the bakery of a scantily clad man in bulgy underwear holding a squid on a spear. I went in person because I wanted to make sure it was ok. The lady had to ask a manager, and they asked me if I knew the guy. I made shifty eyes and said “Not… exactly….” and they OK’ed it.

      Fast forward a week or so and I got the joy of going to pick it up. This was very. very. embarassing. 3 ladies in the bakery came over to look and laugh, and even another lady picking up a dessert insisted on looking. The whole time I am frantically texting Erocklee who is thoroughly enjoying the entire thing.

      Here is a picture of the finished cake. Credit for the brilliant idea goes to Erocklee, but I take credit for the caption.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b44da37fcca308e0d3324da4490db5e93b5964f2c535fee402f66afbf34ab416.jpg

      I am known for my home-made cookie cakes, so I whipped up this concoction:
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53ac4aedfadf0e34f395ffecfde93c857fc73829c7aae61d2191b1278f4c5036.jpg

      I picked up Aycia_Swift and we drove into Brooklyn. The GPS may or may not have been drunk, and we had lots of fun parking, but we met up with everyone at a local pub. @disqus_3Sm0bOf1sj:disqus brought a few games including our favorite of the night “Resistance”, where you basically play a team running missions against Soviet Russia, but some of your team contains spies trying to sabotage the mission. I don’t care what anybody says, Em is totally a spy.

      Em’s face when she saw the cake (particularly the Ken cake) was priceless.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9352e012550f93cbc86ce39d8326283bb0670ace07006111b05f230f076da733.jpg

      I’d also like to point out that Em received the piece with Ken’s face and abs (because of COURSE), and Blurry Denzel took the underwear.

      Unfortunately I couldn’t stay too long, but we got one more game in, called “Dead Last”. It reminded me of Survivor in that the goal is to vote out kill a person in the group. If you get it right, you stay in the game, everyone else is either dead or “out”. However, if you know think you are being targeted, you can play a idol ambush card that will eliminate all the players that voted for attempted to kill you.

      I was paranoid and anxious playing this game, which further solidified the fact that I would be TERRIBLE at Survivor.

      That was the end of my visit — I really wanted to stay longer, but alas real world responsibilities awaited.

      P.S. Em’s fiance was a sweetheart and put up with our nerdiness with a smile on her face.
      P.P.S I concur that Scout is an awesome dog

      • Purple Rock Emma

        My favorite part of the cake is that I can pretend it was for me.

      • EmAndScoutInBK

        In no particular order:

        1) This party was AMAZING, and thank you to EVERYONE for doing this.
        2) THOSE CAKES. OMG THOSE CAKES.
        3) KEN WAS DELICIOUS.
        4) I LOVE YOU GUYS
        5) The PRP cake was also so delicious
        6) My face is priceless (I hate photos of myself, but agree that this photo is necessary for capturing the moment), but also check out to the right!!
        7) I AM NOT A GDDAMN SPY
        8) My wife is a saint
        9) Your experience at the bakery might be my fav thing aside from me getting the cake afterward
        10) MY PRP FAM IS THE FUCKING BEST

  • Super duper fan

    I’m really glad you all had so much fun! This community is so awesome. But onto the more important things, FMK of all the seasons (including the ones with F2s)!:

    Borneo: The Australian Outback:
    F: Kelly F: Colby
    M: Richard M: Tina
    K: Rudy K: Keith

    Africa: Marquesas:
    F: Lex F: Neleh
    M: Ethan M: Vecepia
    K: Tom K: Kathy

    Thailand: The Amazon:
    F: Brian F: Jenna
    M: Jan M: Rob
    K: Clay K: Matthew

    Pearl Islands: All-Stars:
    F: Jon F: Rob
    M: Sandra M: Amber
    K: Lil K: Jenna

    Vanuatu: Palau:
    F: Twila F: Katie
    M: Scout M: Tom
    K: Chris K: Ian

    Guatemala: Panama:
    F: Stephenie F: Aras
    M: Danni M: Terry
    K: Rafe K: Danielle

    Cook Islands: Fiji:
    F: Yul F: Cassandra
    M: Becky M: Earl
    K: Ozzy K: Dreamz

    China: Micronesia:
    F: Amanda F: Parvati
    M: Courtney M: Cirie
    K: Todd K: Amanda

    Gabon: Tocantins:
    F: Sugar F: Taj
    M: Bob M: Stephen
    K: Susie K: JT

    Samoa: Heroes vs. Villains:
    F: Natalie F: Sandra
    M: Mick M: Parvati
    K: Russell K: Russell

    Nicaragua: Redemption Island:
    F: Fabio F: Rob
    M: Chase M: Natalie
    K: Sash K: Phillip

    South Pacific: One World:
    F: Coach F: Chelsea
    M: Sophie M: Sabrina
    K: Albert K: Kim

    Philippines: Caramoan:
    F: Denise F: Cochran
    M: Lisa M: Dawn
    K: redacted K: Sherri

    Blood vs. Water: Cagayan:
    F: Tyson F: Tony
    M: Monica M: Kass
    K: Gervase K: Woo

    San Juan Del Sur: Worlds Apart:
    F: Jaclyn F: Carolyn
    M: Natalie M: Mike
    K: Missy K: Will

    Cambodia: Kaoh Rong:
    F: Spencer F: Aubry
    M: Jeremy M: Tai
    K: Tasha K: Michele

    Millennials vs. Gen X: Game Changers:
    F: Ken F: Troyzan
    M: Adam M: Sarah
    K: Hannah K: Brad

    Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers:
    F: Ben
    M: Chrissy
    K: Ryan

    BONUS ROUNDS!! The Australian seasons (with spoiler tags oc):

    The Australian Survivor 2016: The Australian Survivor 2017:
    F: El F: Peter
    M: Kristie M: Jericho
    K: Lee K: Tara

    • Max_Jets

      MvGX has SHOCKING results, but it’s a very difficult one.
      You need to swap Taj with Erinn though. I get sad thinking of how sad Taj was for being cut at 4.

    • Purplerockmatt

      there is no way you kill Matthew in Amazon, because he will definitely get you first

      • Super duper fan

        Playing and watching through all the Danganronpas has made me ready.

    • Super duper fan

      Gabon:
      F: Sugar
      M: Bob
      K: Susie

      Tocantins:
      F: Taj
      M: Stephen
      K: JT

      Samoa:
      F: Natalie
      M: Mick
      K: Russell

      Heroes vs. Villains:
      F: Sandra
      M: Parvati
      K: Russell

      Nicaragua:
      F: Fabio
      M: Chase
      K: Sash

      Redemption Island:
      F: Rob
      M: Natalie
      K: Phillip

      South Pacific:
      F: Coach
      M: Sophie
      K: Albert

      One World:
      F: Chelsea
      M: Sabrina
      K: Kim

      Philippines:
      F: Denise
      M: Lisa
      K: redacted

      Caramoan:
      F: Cochran
      M: Dawn
      K: Sherri

      Blood vs. Water:
      F: Tyson
      M: Monica
      K: Gervase

      Cagayan:
      F: Tony
      M: Kass
      K: Woo

      San Juan Del Sur:
      F: Jaclyn
      M: Natalie
      K: Missy

      Worlds Apart:
      F: Carolyn
      M: Mike
      K: Will

      Cambodia:
      F: Spencer
      M: Jeremy
      K: Tasha

      Kaoh Rong:
      F: Aubry
      M: Tai
      K: Michele

      Millennials vs. Gen X:
      F: Ken
      M: Adam
      K: Hannah

      Game Changers:
      F: Troyzan
      M: Sarah
      K: Brad

      Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers:
      F: Ben
      M: Chrissy
      K: Ryan

      BONUS ROUNDS!! The Australian seasons (with spoiler tags oc):

      The Australian Survivor 2016:
      F: El
      M: Kristie
      K: Lee

      The Australian Survivor 2017:
      F: Peter
      M: Jericho
      K: Tara

      • Kemper Boyd

        Bro, you are not marrying Denise, what is wrong with you?
        I’d kill Troyzan, fuck Sarah and Marry Brad because Brad is a lefty lawyer type who does interior design.

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          I didn’t catch that omg

        • Max_Jets

          Lisa is wonderful! I think I’d marry Denise, but it’s hard.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            She IS wonderful but DENISE

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Let’s not forget Denise’s occupation though…

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            But if you marry her, you marry her for life. FOR LIFE EMMA.

          • indescribable hat

            Hey, that’s knowledge that might come in handy in a marriage.

        • Super duper fan

          On second thought you are right, I’ll swap Denise for Lisa (but Lisa is great too.)

          And regarding the GC one- Green Monster. Case closed.

          • purplerockandy

            SUPER closed.

          • Kemper Boyd

            Nah, it’s still Troyzan.

          • Super duper fan

            That invisi camera tho.

        • Purple Rock Emma

          That’s a good point, re: Brad. I bet the Culpeppers live in a lovely home.

          • Kemper Boyd

            He’s socially minded and he’s clearly very family orientated. The only downside is breaking up the Culpepper marriage. They are a real solid love story.

          • You know who else is a socially minded, family oriented lawyer guy?

          • Purple Rock Emma

            …Matt?

          • Alycia Swift

            Me? Kidding.

          • I intentionally added the word “guy” at the end because otherwise it could’ve been you or Em.

            The answer, of course, is Andrew Savage.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            I upvoted it and then realized you might’ve just compared me to Andrew Savage

          • Kemper Boyd

            NO. Bad John

      • Maritimer

        I’d swap Kim/Sabrina, Jaclyn/Natalie, and Aubry/Tai. Totally redo GC: F: Sarah, M:Brad, and K: Troy and F: Lee M: El K:Kristie

        • Super duper fan

          Most I can understand, but I REALLY disagree with the australian one.

      • Dubious Rob

        I’d switch Coach/Albert, Kass/Woo, and Erinn/JT. And my HHH would be F Ryan, M Ben, K Chrissy. I’m expecting some blowback (phrasing?) for this, since I took heat the last time I suggested that Ryan was actually somewhat attractive.

        • Kemper Boyd

          Chrissy has a banging body for a woman of her age and seems intense in a good way so fuck her but kill Ryan. Too bony.

          • Dubious Rob

            Poor Ryan. But I know a lot of gay men who would go for his type, so he’s got that going for him, I guess.

        • Max_Jets

          Albert is extremely attractive, unfortunately.

        • indescribable hat

          I also find Ryan somewhat attractive! If he seemed nice or interesting I would find him quite attractive.

      • Dubious Rob

        LOL at Russell being killed twice. Can’t argue with it, though.

      • You killed Survivor Goddess Kim Spradlin?! YOU MONSTER!

        • Purple Rock Emma

          I didn’t even notice that one because I was so thrown off by the killing of Woo.

      • StormofCuteness

        Wtf? You would rather fuck Troyzan instead of Brad? Are you a size queen? 😉

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      Swap Tom for Kim Johnson and you’re good to go – though I would have her in a different spot, personally. I love everyone’s responses!

      • Super duper fan

        Man, first the Tocantins one, now this. But in this case it switches places a bit. But this was a really fun, not serious exercise (MvGX killed me a little bit inside, though).

    • Kemper Boyd

      Lil does Yoga so, yeah.

      • Super duper fan

        PI was surprisingly one of the hardest ones for me.

        • That one’s easy for me. One World is tough, other than the obvious choice of Survivor Goddess Kim Spradlin for the M spot.

      • purplerockandy

        Plus, Johnny Fairplay seems like he’d be the worst lay.

        • Kemper Boyd

          exactly. This is why I’m killing him.

      • Hornacek

        Lil does aerobics, not yoga.

        • Kemper Boyd

          still… keeping it tight

          • Hornacek

            You’re lucky @Sad Lil didn’t respond to correct you.

          • Kemper Boyd

            I’m kinda sad, Sad Lil being mean to me saying she’s a hotter piece than Fairplay, woulda made my day.

    • Maritimer

      Disagree with you on Borneo, swap Hatch and Wiggles; PI as people noted below; Palau because I would so marry Ian; and I’d probably swap Terry and Danielle in Panama

    • Dubious Rob

      Is it legit to say that you’d marry the winner of each season just for the money? In most cases, anyway – there are definitely winners that still wouldn’t be worth marrying for any amount of money (Richard, Brian, Chris).

      • Kemper Boyd

        No. Try harder.

        • Dubious Rob

          Fair enough. The most important change for me would be Guatemala: F Danni, M Rafe, K Steph. Because I’d 100% marry Rafe in real life.

          Also, there was pretty much no combination in either Thailand or Vanuatu that didn’t make me wish death were an option.

          • Kemper Boyd

            yeah Thailand and Vanuatu suck.

          • purplerockandy

            This is a safe space. A safe space to discuss our pervy Survivor thoughts.

        • Oh, you don’t allow consideration of a person’s finances? This makes the Kaoh Rong beauty women even more of a nightmare to do this with.

          • Dubious Rob

            Really? How does Anna stay alive in any of those configurations?

          • purplerockandy

            It pays to be straight. You won’t feel good about it, but…

            Also, we killed Julia because murder felt better than being with someone that young.

          • See, you think that at first, but then you realize you’re putting someone that’s barely even an adult in the F or M slot.

          • Dubious Rob

            Yeah, I keep forgetting how young Julia is…or was, anyway. Which brings up the question: does the theoretical effing/marrying/killing happen now, or when they were on the show?

          • Nah, it’s based on when they were on the show. (That works in favor of Ian from Palau, for one.)

          • purplerockandy

            But makes Redemption Island harder than it needs to be.

            Phrasing?

          • Mike Hirsch

            Maybe you make Julia like, an arranged M for a few years down the line, with a dowry of four sheep included.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            I have been shaming them about this for quite some time.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            She doesn’t.

          • Alycia Swift

            Have you seen the nutty things Anna says? I would think the kill one would be easy.

          • But then what do I do with Julia?

          • Kemper Boyd

            Not solely.

  • Kemper Boyd

    The only Fuck Marry Kill me BD and Em all had different version of was Palau. I’m not into Ian.

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      I mostly wanted to kill Tom.

  • Sylvisual

    Ok this is really sweet and awesome, and I’m sorry I haven’t been commenting as much. Glad we (mostly the other 4) could create such an fun community for you guys. And thanks for wearing my shirt to the event! 🙂

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      You know I had to rep us!

  • Maritimer

    Totally random linguistic question: Kemper used the phrase “Carded,” which I’ve heard before but everyone I know says “ID’d”. Is “carded” a British thing or is it common across North America and us Atlantic Canadians are the outliers when we use the phrase “ID’d”?

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      “Carded” is definitely something I’ve heard before in Texas.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      Carded is definitely a thing in America.

      • I got carded before because I bought a Dr Pepper in the liquor aisle of a grocery store. I was almost 26 at the time.

        • StormofCuteness

          I loved how long it took before I stopped getting carded…I remember getting a pity carding at 43, but by god, it felt good!

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      “Carded” in California at the very least. It’s not like “ID’d” would be met with blank stares, but the first proper use that comes to mind is zeroing in on a suspect from, say, a fingerprint or a surveillance video.

      • Purple Rock Emma

        Just reaffirming that “carded” is definitely used in California. A lot of my friends are from out of state and don’t seem to think it’s weird either.

      • Maritimer

        I’d have to think a second if someone said carded to me, that’s how pervasive ID’d is out here. I’d get there but I would hesitate. Even in liquor stores, the signs all say “We I.D.”

    • Kemper Boyd

      I’d usually say ID’d but I literally heard Cirie say “they are carding”.

      • Maritimer

        Ah, so maybe it is just an American thing

        • Kemper Boyd

          Sh turned to HB and said “they are carding” and we were all like “shit” because we knew Jarrad was 18 when they filmed GC so 19 then. He had to go to the hotel.

          • Maritimer

            Poor kid. All excited to go out with the Survivor’s and then get rejected at the door. At least Cirie didn’t have to go with him. (Also, silly US liquor laws)

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Wait a second. As a Californian, “card” as an active verb seems weird. What the California version of Cirie would say is “they are checking IDs” or “Jarrad will get carded”. And signs in liquor stores say something like “We check IDs” or “Proof of age required”.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            As a younger, hipper Californian, “carding”does not sound weird to me.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Younger yes, hipper show your work.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            *sweats nervously*

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Nah, you grew up in Santa Cruz, I grew up in Hayward. QED.

          • Maritimer

            We would say “they are ID-ing” or “Jarrad will get ID’d” or “Jarrad got ID’d”

          • StormofCuteness

            Hrm, as a Californian, I have always made card a verb and have said carding many times. ???

          • Alycia Swift

            He wasn’t the only one who couldn’t go in. Some kid just before me tried and failed.

            I got carded myself. I get carded now more than when I was actually under 21 many,many years ago.

    • purplerockandy

      We say carded out here too.

    • indescribable hat

      “Carded” is the only one I’ve heard in the northeastern United States.

    • Max_Jets

      Carded always in Minnesota. I don’t ever hear “ID’d”.

    • Mike Hirsch

      Carded in Massachusetts.

    • As someone under 21 with a lot of friends who aren’t, I’m very used to asking if places card at the door.

  • Kemper Boyd

    I would like to reiterate that the day watching Survivor with @disqus_3Sm0bOf1sj:disqus and @disqus_FeYRrg1QKY:disqus was everything I have ever wanted since joining the Survivor fandom. We ate burgers and snacks and watched a tonne of Survivor in a row. Imagine watching Survivor with someone else actually there!

    • StormofCuteness

      This sounds blissful, and I want to go to there.

    • Mike Hirsch

      Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re Fucking, Marrying or Killing here.

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      It was amazing, and I want that day all over again.

  • Dubious Rob

    Have we already done FMK for HHH on this site? An 18-player season makes it so easy (phrasing?):

    Heroes Men: F JP, M Ben, K Alan
    Heroes Women: F Chrissy, M Ashley, K Katrina
    Healers Men: F Cole, M Mike, K Joe
    Healers Women: F Desi, M Jessica, K Roark
    Hustlers Men: F Patrick, M Devon, K Ryan
    Hustlers Women: F Simone, M Ali, K Lauren

    • purplerockandy

      I have no issues with this. Maybe swap F and K for male heroes.

      • Dubious Rob

        Male Heroes were the hardest (phrasing)! Ben and Alan both have some emotional issues that would make them difficult to be married to, but JP is so damn boring I couldn’t see myself married to him either.

      • Purplerockmatt

        that was the only hesitation i had, but yeah this was surprisingly easy

    • Dubious Rob

      I should add that not all 18-player seasons are easy. Philippines has some ugly conundrums, especially the Tandang men. You pretty much have to kill [Redacted], so you’re stuck having to marry either Petebro or Artis. And when it comes to Kalabaw women, you may as well kill Dawson, since she’ll be comparing you to Probst in either of the other situations. 😉

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        No Collar men: Do you spare Vince or Will Sims II?

        • Vince.

          • 100 percent Vince. From my very limited understanding of one night stand, Vince would be the definition of it.

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          This is not even a question.

          • Yeah, it wasn’t close. Weird vs. horrible isn’t a competition.

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          To be clear, dead fish is so fucking dead.

      • Max_Jets

        “so you’re stuck having to marry either Petebro”
        I see no conundrum here!

      • Kemper Boyd

        Marry Peyebro, dude is very handsome.

    • Purple Rock Emma

      The hustlers men is such an easy choice.

    • Max_Jets

      Hmm
      F Ben, M Alan, K JP
      F Chrissy, M Katrina, K Ashley
      F Joe, M Cole, K Mike
      F Desi, M Jessica, K Roark
      F Patrick, M Devon, K Ryan
      F Simone, M Ali, K Lauren

      I honestly only typed this out so I could feel like I was bringing Alan back to life.

    • StormofCuteness

      I clearly find Lauren way more attractive and compelling then anyone else on PRP.

      F Ali M Lauren K Simone

      • EmAndScoutInBK

        Lauren’s not my type, but I guarantee you, I have a lot of friends who are into her.

      • indescribable hat

        I find her compelling too. I agree with your choices because complaining about other people in a way I find fun seems like a great quality in a spouse.

    • Purplerockmatt

      i agree with all of these

    • Eric

      Heroes Men: F JP , M Alan, K Ben
      Heroes Women: M Ashley, F Chrissy, K Katrina
      Healers Men: F Joe, M Mike, K Cole
      Healers Women: F Jessica, M Desi, K Roark
      Hustlers Men: F Patrick, M Devon, K Ryan and bring him back and K him again
      Hustlers Women: F Simone, M Ali, K Lauren

  • indescribable hat

    What this site needs is way more Fuck Marry Kill. I approve.

  • StormofCuteness

    I could not love this post more…well, ok, if I’d been a part of this meet-up, that would probably make my heart burst. You are all so delightful and so much better at remembering seasons/players than I ever will be.

    I want to meet all of you even though I suck at remembering, and I’m so grateful for all of you helping to keep me somewhat sane since Nov. 8, 2016. This community is such a welcome respite from all the negativity.

    If there are any PRP people who want to go to a KIA event in Los Angeles…or even know when they are happening, please let me know because I’d love to meet-up and delight in your company.

    • I think there was one once because I fear that Rob has been a little hesitant because of the amount of wild drunk Survivor alum that would come out of the woodwork.

      • StormofCuteness

        Yeah, there was a huge one last year, but I only found out about it after it happened. I am bad at this fan thing.

  • Alycia Swift

    This was a fun read. I came in from NJ after Blurry Denzel sent me the info – as I usually miss the Rhap announcement – and I ordered a ticket. I was hesitant bc I’m older than everyone but once we all met, it didn’t feel that way. The hubby is not a fan so he did not come. I worked in my firms NY office for the day accomplishing little as I just wanted to get to KIA (plus I was late due to traffic and leaving early.) Dinner was a delight. I got to sit next to Violina’s hubby and knew immediately that mine would get along great with him. I enjoyed meeting everyone and going to the after-party although I could not stay long due to an engagement the next day. I got to meet Jessica Lewis on my way out which was my goal. The bar was so crowded, she stayed outside. I had a long conversation with Em and an extremely drunk guy, none of which I remember, which was another goal. I was invited to sit and talk with Jessica and I regret having to decline but I really did have to be somewhere the next day. I briefly passed Cirie as we were trying to fight our way out of the bar which was filled to past capacity. Rob needs to find a bigger bar. As far as the show itself, seeing it in a movie theater is weird. While I enjoyed it, the crowd to me seemed subdued. Plus the alcohol at Caroline’s probably helped. I am not in the pic with the fellow prpers but sitting just outside the frame. I was very happy to be invited to rest of the week’s festivities but just could not swing it since I had just moved.

    • Violina23

      It was wonderful to meet you and spend time with you!

      • Alycia Swift

        Thanks. And everyone will be coming out really soon for a game day. The house will soon be presentable.

        I finally ordered some furniture yesterday.

  • indescribable hat

    OK, I’m giving this a shot. Some of them are… challenging.

    Fuck Rich, Marry Kelly, Kill Rudy

    Fuck Colby, Marry Tina, Kill Keith

    Fuck Lex, Marry Ethan, Kill Kim

    Fuck Neleh, Marry Vecepia, Kill Kathy

    Fuck Brian, Marry Jan, Kill Clay

    Fuck Matt, Marry Rob, Kill Jenna

    Fuck Fairplay, Marry Sandra, Kill Lil

    Fuck Rob, Marry Jenna, Kill Amber (Sorry Amber! This one is very harsh on a player I like fine.)

    Fuck Chris, Marry Twila, Kill Scout

    Fuck Ian, Marry Tom, Kill Katie

    Fuck Terry, Marry Aras, Kill Danielle (briefly heartbroken to remember that Cirie was 4th and not available for marriage this time)

    Fuck Ozzy, Marry Yul, Kill Becky (by far the most appealing scenario on this list, in spite of having to kill poor Becky who has done nothing to deserve it)

    Fuck Dreamz, Marry Earl, Kill Cassandra

    Fuck Todd, Marry Amanda, Kill Courtney

    Fuck Amanda, Marry Cirie, Kill Parvati

    Fuck Sugar, Marry Bob, Kill Susie (full disclosure I have no memory of Susie)

    Fuck JT, Marry Stephen, Kill Erinn

    Fuck Mick, Marry Natalie, Kill Russell (the rare FMK where the kill is the first choice I made)

    Fuck Parvati, Marry Sandra, Kill Russell

    I do not actually remember these people at all and had to look them up.
    Fuck Sash I guess. Marry Fabio for the money? Kill the other dude?

    Fuck Rob, Marry Natalie, Kill Phillip

    Fuck Albert, Marry Sophie, Kill Coach

    Fuck Sabrina, Marry Kim, Kill Chelsea

    Fuck Lisa, Marry Denise, Kill Mike

    Fuck Cochran, Marry Dawn, Kill Sherri

    Fuck Gervase, Marry Tyson, Kill Monica

    Fuck Woo, Marry Kass, Kill Tony

    Fuck Jaclyn, Marry Natalie, Kill Missy

    Fuck Carolyn, Marry Mike, Kill Will

    Fuck Spencer, Marry Jeremy, Kill Tasha

    Fuck Tai, Marry Aubry, Kill Michelle

    Fuck Ken, Marry Adam, Kill Hannah

    Fuck Brad, Marry Sarah, Kill Troyzan

    Fuck Ryan, Marry Chrissy, Kill Ben

    • StormofCuteness

      I only have a few quibbles…like, wtf, you’d rather fuck Ryan than Ben?!?

      • indescribable hat

        I like ’em 1) young, 2) slight, 3) getting into fights about misogyny, 4) giggling with Cirie on a yacht. But I’ll take young and slight if Panama Aras isn’t available.

        Basically Ben is too old and, like, hulking hypermasculine grrr for my tastes. Bear in mind that I am young like a tiny baby and also don’t tend to go for guys more than a few years older than me.

        • StormofCuteness

          I can almost understand that. 😎

      • Max_Jets

        The more I am able to distance myself from the EVENTS of the finale and how he won, the more I realize I’m like in love with Ben.

  • Oh wow, this is great. At some point (probably after my 21st), I’m going to have to make it to one of these. Although it is a little weird to see that everyone on here has actual faces.

    • Kemper Boyd

      Deffo over 21 because we drank…