Purple Rock Survivor Podcast: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers episode 3 “My Kisses Are Private”

John is back on the show with Andy to discuss the topics he’s best able to discuss. And also the third episode of Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers.

Purple Rock Survivor podcast: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers Episode 3 “My Kisses are Private”

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In this episode, Andy and John discuss:

  • How surprised we were by the vote.
  • How gratifying it was that Patrick somehow turned all the inherent advantages granted him into being the third boot.
  • If Patrick was the right call, no matter how gratifying it may have been.
  • Cole’s plan to go after Joe and how Jessica reacted to it.
  • How we felt that none of this came to  pass and whether or not next week’s changes will render it moot.
  • If the dual showmance plot lines say something about the power of human attraction, or just that these particular contestants aren’t very savvy?
  • The Heroes scene this week (but mostly just the episode one stuff again).
  • The most attractive Survivor casts of all-time.
  • Heroic, Healing, and Hustle moments of the week.

 

If you have questions or comments, @ us on Twitter, or send us an email (purplerockpodcast at gmail).

  • Hornacek

    Save that display picture so you can re-use it when Lauren and Patrick go on The Amazing Race together.

    • That picture perfectly encapsulates why I hate both of them.

      • Hornacek

        “I hate you.”
        “I know.”

  • TheForRealDeal
    • Trying to match up those faces to PRP staff. Not sure which one I’d be.

      • Purplerockmatt

        the facial hair is really throwing it off since none of us would have just a mustache

      • Purple Rock Emma

        I mean I guess I’d be the one with bangs?

      • Mike Hirsch

        Easy: John is Ian Gillan, Andy is Ritchie Blackmore, Emma is Ian Paice, Matt is Jon Lord, and Mark is Jon Lord.

        • What’s funny is this is the type of weird shit we’d normally do in our staff chat. We just usually use TV shows.

      • Side Character

        From left to right: Andy, John, Mark, Matt, Emma.

    • Mike Hirsch

      This has made me need to listen to Bloodsucker.

  • BadPlayer91

    Overall, I think I agreed with most of what was said in the podcast. In general, I felt like this was a good, solid episode. Not amazing, nothing incredible, but not bad, and not boring. This episode didn’t show a lot of ‘stuff’ happening, particularly with the third unanimous boot, but we continue to get a pretty well-rounded understanding of how things stand at each tribe, what some of the narratives and relationships are, and with a few exceptions, an understanding or at least taste of who most of these players are. I’m optimistic that this is the ground work for better things, and more exciting episodes, to come.

    I’d also say, I’m surprised that I like the edit putting challenges later in the past 2 episodes. Both came more than 30 minutes into the show, which meant we got a full review of tribes, where alliances stand, and what could happen if each went to tribal. Compared to what I remember of some of the last few seasons (particularly GC), it provides at least a bit more ambiguity as to who might lose the challenge, and eliminates the feeling of ‘oh right, there’s another tribe, since they’ve been winning we’ve barely seen them in weeks.’ Even though Healers haven’t been to tribal yet, we still have spent a decent amount of time with that tribe.

    Regarding Chrissy, I think I like her mostly just as a gut reaction. I’ll agree she hasn’t really proven her chops yet, no matter where you fall on the ‘do or don’t’ super idol in episode 1. But something about her confessionals seems very genuine and easy to relate to, so while she really hasn’t done anything but survive thus far, I find myself willing to defend her, perhaps in the hope that she will be one of the more exciting and strategic players down the line.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      The edit has been telling us to like both Chrissy and Ben. As John and Andy noted, Ben hasn’t really done anything that special in the game, either. It’s just more notable in the case of Chrissy because Ben is the default type of player to go far in the game. Also, since nobody’s said it so far I will…. Chrissy’s kinda hot.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        I agree with that last statement. I don’t usually like to participate it the “who’s hottest!” conversations, but Chrissy is a beautiful woman.

        • As I have said before, Chrissy reminds me a lot of the Queen of the Netherlands.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I don’t see it, except in a generic way. Chrissy does remind me of somebody, though, I just haven’t put my finger on it yet.

          • With her buff over her hair, she reminds me a lot of Laura Morrett.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I just this second realized who Chrissy looks like.

            It’s bad. Like, I may have to stop liking Chrissy bad.

          • Now I’m curious.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I’m saving it for the next time we discuss Chrissy. Check your Twitter DMs.

          • On it!

        • I go to the same college that Chrissy graduated from, so I decided to look her up in our school newspaper archives. Evidently, this is not a new opinion.

          https://dparchives.library.upenn.edu/cgi-bin/pennsylvania?a=d&d=tdp19930318-01.2.70&srpos=1&e=——-en-20–1–txt-txIN-Chrissy+bass——

          • the sky is falling

            “It certainly wasn’t from a lack of practice” Yikes, what kinda paper was your college running….

            However, I would also like to see the Morrissey vs. Ice Cube fight.

          • This is our “culture” magazine affiliated with the paper, but your question is still valid.

          • the sky is falling

            I mean the early 90s were a different culture sorta, but that’s vicious and scandalous and embarrassing even for 1993 or anytime.

          • StormofCuteness

            I was in grad school in 1993, and there is no way NYU would’ve allowed that!

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Wow. That is pretty awful.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Wow, what the hell? Even a hands-off faculty advisor should have spiked that. And super-early to the Chelsea Clinton bashing, no less.

          • Purplerockmatt

            i graduated from Law school at your college

          • StormofCuteness

            That section on Chrissy made me throw up in my mouth a little. Frat/sorority type thinking has always grossed me out especially these days when we have to hear it every single day. It’s why I’m off Twitter today.

          • StormofCuteness

            PS Maybe add a Don’t Click This Link if you will be appalled this was published warning?

  • Ms. Sweaterfan

    I OBJECT: Monica Culpepper is not hot “for her demographic” she is hot, period.

    • Judson Helland

      Really! No mention of Coach? Coach is perfect for a certain type

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      RELATED OBJECTION: Alecia????????

      • Wait, I need to clarify what the objection is here.

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          What angle is she attractive from, and what kind of high-tech laser micrometer did you use to find it?

          • The Day 1 Angle?

          • This is Alicia. Please temporarily disregard the fact that she’s kinda awful: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BP6BhVmCcAAm4mc.jpg

          • Maritimer

            Alicia is more attractive off island than on (even ignoring her personality). Her bathing suit really did not flatter her

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Only “kinda” awful? She’s wearing a Cubs shirt!

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            OK, you have a point, but even here I’m mostly interested in the iPhone case.

      • purplerockandy
        • I kinda love how everyone is super dressy except for Kim who still manages to look stunning in leopard print shorts.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I like how it complies with Christina’s restraining order on Alecia.

          • Remember they were close allies by the end.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            True. How could I forget anything about One World?

          • purplerockandy

            “Close”

            Alicia still called her stupid throughout.

    • Judson Helland

      Assistant dragon slayer agress with me

    • purplerockandy

      Obviously, everything is personal preference. I’ll say that once people get older, and still want to keep very fit, they tend to pay the price in the elasticity of the neck, creating a slight gaunt look.

      • Vagabond

        That is a spot on description of a phenomenon I’ve never quite been able verbalize.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        Kathleen Turner memorably once said in an interview that at a certain point you can hang on to either your face or your body but not both. I don’t think that’s literally true but I get what she meant.

        • Everything that Kathleen Turner says is literally gospel.

        • indescribable hat

          I’ve heard “it’s either your face or your ass.”

  • Ms. Sweaterfan

    Explanation of my Ben appreciation (I wouldn’t call it ~love~ yet, since my love is private):
    Based on what I saw of him leading up to the season I pre-judged that he would be a Zane type who flamed out in the first episode. Basically, I expected him to do exactly what Alan did in the premiere, so when Ben stayed relatively chill and appeared mildly strategic I was pleasantly surprised. Plus, as was mentioned in the podcast, the show def wants us to like the Ben/Chrissy dyad.

    • Judson Helland

      Explanation of peoples Ben appreciation: He teamed up with unexplained fan favorite Chrissy.
      WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE CHRISSY SO MUCH

      • You can stay.

        (Chrissy is fine. But she’s just a baseline Survivor player at this point. Nothing to make her all that notable yet.)

      • Maritimer

        Because she’s on my fantasy team

      • sharculese

        People liked Ben in ep 1, tho.

      • Purplerockmatt

        i like Ben and don’t like Chrissy so I dunno

        • Same. I feel like she is on the same boat as Jessica where their only real connection is their one alliance partner. However, the show wants me to care about Chrissy. The show is somewhat ambivalent on Jessica.

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          I don’t understand this opinion. Other than bail on his first alliance and recognize Chrissy’s value, what has he done? I get liking him for those reasons, but if you don’t value Chrissy, it doesn’t make sense to me. Is he charming in a way I’m not responding to? Is there a charisma I don’t get from him?

          • Purplerockmatt

            that is it, i just find him kinda charming. it has nothing to do with gameplay.

          • Diego Armando

            I find him charming.

      • Hornacek

        She’s an actuary! Everyone loves actuaries.

      • indescribable hat

        I like her because she likes math. No idea about other people because that doesn’t seem to win one a lot of admirers generally.

    • I low-keyed liked Ben from his bio. The way he talked about his service was a bit less ego-driven than what I am used to in reality tv.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        I liked the fact that he said he could “be a grizzly bear” but preferred to talk things out.

    • I didn’t understand all the Ben love in the first episode, since all he really seemed to do was stay calm amidst a sea of Alan-induced insanity. I’m starting to warm up to him though – he seems incredibly calm and just strategic enough to do well, without making himself into a huge target. I could see him winding up like MvGX Chris, without the Zeke blindside.

  • Scarlett3639

    According to Simone’s exit interview with US Weekly “…Patrick, who is the loudest person I have ever met in my entire life. He talks endlessly about gingers.” So maybe Lauren’s anti-ginger comments were provoked by Patrick repeatedly bringing it up.

    • Roswulf

      Oooh, I hope this is true. I really don’t want Lauren to be randomly prejudiced against grotesque Irish stereotypes. I want her to have been driven mad by Patrick.

      • StormofCuteness

        Yes!

  • Judson Helland

    Sexual healing in a dinosaur suit

  • Judson Helland

    Just turned 18 and I’m gonna make my audition video. Any tips? Not really sure where to start

    • I don’t know that anyone here would be an expert. But based on things I’ve seen/read, I’d say that you should make it easy for them to typecast you as something. Since you’re just turning 18, young superfan is probably your only potential slot. So go with that, and play it up.

      • Judson Helland

        “based on things I’ve seen / read”
        Shots fired.

        • I meant that I’ve watched and read stuff from people that actually work in Survivor casting or have gone through the casting process.

      • BadPlayer91

        To this point, mention how young you were when you started watching and how it was part of your family’s routine and a regular part of growing up. Jeff Probst will lap that shit up!

        Though if you didn’t watch when young….i guess…lie?

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          Oh God, Probst is going to make such a massive deal over the first cast member born after the Survivor Borneo premiere, isn’t he?

          • BadPlayer91

            In that season, we can expect one scene about it every 20 mins of show, and I’d assume that in the first instance Jeff will be visibly erect and/or just jacking it vigorously. Every tribal will just be a mad dash to talk about that character and their age and OMG!

          • So young contestant can we talk about how you were conceived moment that Colby picked Tina over Jeff? How about how your mother watched the Africa premiere while she gave birth to you? Is it true you got your first tooth the night that Boston Rob voted out Hunter?

          • We got close with Will “Only Milk Please, Probst” Wahl, right?

    • sharculese

      It’s really hard when we don’t know you. Figure out what shit would make you cool on tv and do that.

      • Did your friend ever submit a video/application?

        • sharculese

          She got offered a one-year contract with a university that was too perfect of an entry into her desired career to pass up but meant not being able to say “hey, I may disappear for 6 weeks next spring.”

          We’ll revisit it if the job doesn’t turn permanent.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      Lynne Spillman was on RHAP a while back and the big takeaway is that you don’t get cast because you’d be good at Survivor, you get cast because you’d be good TV.

      • i and 1

        I filmed 5 minutes of making fire with prescription glasses, and then 20 minutes of me looking for a HII in the backyard. There wasn’t one there, but I figured they’d still be able to recognize commitment and technique.

        • It was around minute 18 that they realized you had what it takes.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            The futility is on-brand for the PRP community, but the persistence is super off-brand.

          • i and 1

            You’ve got to dig up EVERY tomato plant.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Chris from MvGX ate dog poop. You should totally do that.

    • the sky is falling

      I’ve never seen any of these, but I bet you could track down the audition tapes of some people who have made it onto the show. That might give you some direction.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        Word of caution on that: Some of those will be tapes for recruits who just need to submit something as a formality after being told they’re already onto the interview portion. Tyson specifically comes to mind.

        • the sky is falling

          Do you know anything about how they recruit? Do they just walk up to randos in LA or something?

          • Maritimer

            In some cases, yes. Cole said he was approached at a Chipotle’s in LA by someone from casting

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Wait, really? I thought the Chipotle thing everyone kept saying was just a joke.

          • Maritimer

            Yeah, there was an interview of him on Youtube where he said that. It wasn’t by Survivor media though so I don’t know how to find it again

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Yup. Santa Monica, specifically.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Even casting doesn’t want to go to the valley.

          • StormofCuteness

            Hahahahaha! Only funny to Angelenos, probably, but my god, yes!

          • the sky is falling

            Where do you find this info? Reddit?

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I read it somewhere but I don’t remember where. Definitely not Reddit.

    • purplerockandy

      A big thing is that they need to see what you’re like talking about yourself on camera.

    • StormofCuteness

      Wait, so you were born the year Survivor premiered?! Emphasis this A LOT.

      • Judson Helland

        A couple months before

        • StormofCuteness

          Same year though so really play up the whole Survivor has been a part of my life since I was born angle! Add anecdotes about how it affected you at different ages and how what you learned from it waa utilized in your real life and voila, ding ding ding, you’re on the show!

          • Judson Helland

            Tx my friend

  • Maritimer

    The one way I think Cole’s move of giving up the idol information is key is that you need to emphasize to this group that it NEEDS to be a blindside and you can only do that by telling them about the idol. Totally needed to consult Jessica first though

  • Maritimer

    Hottest cast takes, as the person who did the ranking before the season. Some pretty similar ideas to what I thought, though I had totally forgotten CI. The other two I had up there were MvGx (the Millennials tribe are pretty much all good looking, plus Ken and Jessica) and Philippines (Malcolm, Angie, RC, Abi, Petebro, Kalabaw girls, Carter)

    Also, well done with the Spencer Duhm mention. He was an early random Survivor crush of mine (I was only 20 when I watched Tocantins so he was in my age range)

    • sharculese

      Philippines list leaves out Roxy.

      • Maritimer

        Totally forgot about her. Yes, she belongs in there

        • Wow. Good call. I’d forgotten Philippines. Pretty decent roster.

          • Maritimer

            A bit weaker on the guy side, but Jeff, Penner, Russell, even Artis are all appealing to a certain type as well

          • StormofCuteness

            I am the type who finds Penner very very appealing.

      • Also, Lisa.

      • purplerockandy

        I almost feel like Roxy would want it that way.

    • I felt gross mentioning Spencer because he was so young then. I’d similarly have not discussed Julia if we talked about Kaoh Rong.

      • Maritimer

        I know. Its a weird fine line. Like, in these assessments, we kind of have to acknowledge they would be attractive to people their age then quickly move in

        • purplerockandy

          Right. Cute, like in a boy band way.

          • Maritimer

            Exactly

      • I feel like KR has a fairly stacked female cast, but an awful male cast.

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          (I’m not going to take the bait on “stacked”) Like Tocantins, many of the hot people went out early in KR.

          • Judson Helland

            Who would you say the best KR male was. Darnelle? Nick?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Which one was the super hot guy with the tattoo of a pine tree car air freshener that said “anus”?

          • Judson Helland

            Wasn’t he a bellhop?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Please! He isn’t even skycap material!

          • Hornacek

            It actually said “anustart”.

          • sharculese

            Garbageboy Horsechoad?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I would have pegged you as a fan! He really had that DILLIGAF attitude that you admire. Didn’t he also have those letters as a tattoo or was that someone else?

          • Those are probably your best bets right there.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Nick, Caleb, Peter, Darnell in that order, but none of them is my theoretical type.

          • I forgot about Caleb and Peter. I can’t like Caleb after watching his season of Big Brother and Peter is not the Petebro that I like.

          • purplerockandy

            Nick is weird because in some shots, he’s a handsome dude. In others, he’s an awkward giraffe-man.

            Caleb is undeniably hot, but in a trashy, cowboy calendar way.

          • BadPlayer91

            Caleb was hot in a ‘not much else to look at’ kinda way…

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Nick with a beard is much hotter. Luckily he’s kept it off-island. He and Arms sat next to each other at RHAP Match Game and it was…distracting.

          • He sat by a Nintendo Switch game? Dang that is pretty impressive.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Damn autocorrect. Aras!

          • From certain angles, Aras looked like Varner. He needs to get rid of that beard pronto.

          • Hornacek

            I like the idea that “Arms” is Aras’ nickname.

          • Especially considering that arms is not his best feature, despite being a yoga dude

          • indescribable hat

            I assumed you liked someone’s arms so much you figured we would all know who you were talking about.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            I suppose it can be two things.

          • You get me.

          • indescribable hat

            I don’t remember if you watch Big Brother but I do remember that you like Caleb so go watch the stupid Revengers trailer thing if you haven’t and you want a little more “trashy, cowboy calendar” Caleb.

          • Max_Jets

            I thought Nick was almost ugly when he first appeared and claimed he was hot. Now I’m like in love with him.

        • Purplerockmatt

          no its Cagayan with the stacked females in the cast

          • Get out.

          • Hornacek

            No, it’s One World with the stacked females. Confirmed by Dr. Tarzan.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      The young vs. old seasons should almost be set aside as the show is going to go all in on casting young pretty people. Personalities and quality of season aside, La Flor plus Yve was super-hot.

      • Maritimer

        This is true (though I really didn’t find Sash attractive) but I think the older tribe (minus Yve) is distinctly less attractive on the whole than the Gen X tribe (maybe that’s just my dark memory of Nicaragua)

      • purplerockandy

        I considered Nicaragua, but as you say, the olds aren’t bringing anything but Yve to the table. Also, it’s in the bylaws that we can say nothing positive about that season.

    • purplerockandy

      I meant to mention Philippines as a top contender. Thanks for grabbing the baton. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ce511398d640e20fa915f05cf6ba6170413f5b616b6ee9bb27db83cbcfe1706.gif

      • sharculese

        It was a glaring omission considering you brought up both of Penner’s other seasons.

    • Every season I have so many opinions, but with Survivor, once the reunion is over, my brain just automatically Eternal Sunshines everything about the 13 weeks I’ve just invested. I think I’m just full. Full of knowledge.

      This is why I can’t contribute much beyond anything (a) recent and (b) superficial. You’re welcome.

      • indescribable hat

        I like the implication that your Survivor memories are too painful to live with.

  • You know better than to shame Fishbach considering he has loitered here from time to time.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      If he doesn’t comment he’s fair game.

      • He did comment…once.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Well, if he’s commented, he’s fair game.

        • Hornacek

          And he was then banned.

    • purplerockandy

      Since when do we not insult people who listen to our show?

      • Taako From Teevhii

        I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          It can be two things.

          (My phone auto-completes this for me!)

          • Taako From Teevhii

            But we’re still the best and most supportive Survivor community.

          • Maritimer

            I thought we were bigoted and anti-Christian

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            It can be two things.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Don’t forget dishonest.

          • Maritimer

            I knew I was missing a piece but was way too lazy to go find out what it was

          • It can, on rare occasions, be three things.

          • Violina23

            It can be 4 things…

      • the sky is falling

        Or vice versa

    • The Fishbach of now is on a whole different level than Tocantins Fishbach. He figured out what works for him, and he looks a lot better now than he did then.

    • Mike Hirsch

      I like the idea of Fishbach hanging around outside, wearing a jean jacket with a Slayer patch on it, and smoking a cigarette, and John and Andy regarding him with suspicion.

      No loitering!

    • Purple Rock Emma

      Look, there are no bigger defenders of Fishbach’s plaid reunion suit than John and me. He figured his shit out by Cambodia but apparently that doesn’t make the season good enough for you. How dare you shame Fishbach’s hottest season.

      • I was actually going to say that Cambodia is not a bad looking cast.

        • corndogshuffle

          Is it better looking than Heroes vs. Villains?

          • Max_Jets

            Damn, Heroes vs Villains IS attractive. Though I say this as someone who finds Rus…ya know what? Never mind.

          • corndogshuffle

            The difference between his appearance from the beginning of Samoa to the end of HvV really is striking.

          • I think Cambodia is more consistent in its hotness, but HvV has more hot people.

          • That’s tough. Let me do some research and get back to you.

    • DrVanNostrand

      OK, which one is he? I want to troll him mercilessly.

      • He straight up posted under his name and Twitter icon once.

        • DrVanNostrand

          Maybe he’s a lurker! I’ll have to start using Fischbach as a verb, like, “Damn, Culpepper really Fischbach’d that final tribal council!”, or “Patrick really Fischbach’d that log!”

  • Vagabond

    Dear Cole,

    You almost had a nice move, there was only one small problem, your tribe didn’t end up going to tribal council idiot! Giving up information to build trust with people, good move. Giving up information to blindside an idol when you aren’t sure if you’ll get a chance to vote them out, bad move. Now tribes are swapping and what if somebody blabbed to joe? What if you need his idol to protect you and he’s pissed cause he knows you were gunning for him? What if a million other potential fallout scenarios? So many possibilities for complications that could have been avoided if you could keep your mouth shut. If your gonna take a shot at an idol, make sure you have a gun man.

    Don’t give out information until it’s time to act on it. Give people as little time to think and react as possible, you will save yourself a lot of headaches in this game.

    • Hornacek

      Even funnier when you realize that during his pre-season interviews, Cole said he would be willing to throw a challenge in order to vote out a Tony-like character.

      • Vagabond

        Interesting I didn’t realize he had said that. Kind of makes me wonder if they were trying to throw it seeing as they “missed” a piece and editors just didn’t show it since they like to pretend people don’t try throwing challenges.

        • I wonder that as well, but then why did Cole not keep throwing?

          • Vagabond

            coulda been one of those times were they say well we won’t give 100% but we can’t fully tank because that will probably tip off the target and they have an idol.

          • Right.

          • Other Scott

            I mean, there’s also the reward of being able to get food which probably ties more into people’s decisions on whether to throw or not than we give credit for.

          • That’s a great point. What was the reward on the line in Cagayan when the Brawn tried to throw the Basketball shooting challenge?

        • Purple Rock Emma

          Man, if he had they he really would have been the next Jaime Dugan.

  • Hey @Taako_From_Teevhii:disqus and @sharculese:disqus, I listened to your nerdy podcast for nerds. I’ve listened to 2 of the assigned 3 episodes so far, and I’m enjoying it. I’ll save further comments for whenever the fuck it is that we’re discussing the episodes.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      I was going to unsubscribe from a podcast or two in order to do this, but Rob and Stephen dropped an entire season of The Genius coverage (Season 2) a couple of days ago.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        So you’re dropping two or three podcasts?

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          Actually, come to think of it, it’s not so much of a problem now that I’m not watching and recapping Australian Survivor anymore.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      It is extremely rich that the accountant is acting better than RPG fantasy nerds.

      And Tuesday.

    • sharculese

      I know it sounds hard to believe right now, especially as I’ve just relistened to the first 3 episodes myself, but this turns from nerds goofing on a D&D starter campaign to something that will make you tear up.

  • Vagabond

    Here’s a fun game, name the former contests you’d hate to share a beach with more than Joe “Fuck your cooking” Mena. I’ll give you a hint, there’s one and he thinks women are of the devil because they give him erections.

    • the sky is falling

      This is going to be a looooooooong list, Vagabond. Way more than one.

    • Other than the food incident this week (which, granted, is really bad), it doesn’t seem like Joe is being characterized as so terrible. Just looking at the past few seasons, I’d take Joe over Dan, Will, Abi, Jason, Scot, or Varner.

      • Violina23

        Agreed. I’m not loving Joe at ALL, but he’s not in the category (like Colton) where I get an actual *physical* reaction of disgust.

        • Vagabond

          Give the man time, it’s still early. Colton is a good one though, I suppose Joe hasn’t told anyone to commit suicide… yet

          • Violina23

            Usually I can separate the people on the screen from real life. I literally wanted to reach through the screen and hurt Colton. His kind of bullying was particularly triggering to me.

          • Vagabond

            I assume by his kind of bullying you mean being senselessly cruel to another human being for no other reason than you’re higher on the social ladder than they are and they can’t effectively defend themselves and everyone else is content to stand around and watch it happen. I think he might have been a legitimate sociopath; given his background you’d expect him to have more empathy than the average person but yeah, clearly no. I forgot how genuinely enraging his behavior was.

          • Violina23

            It’s not just the cruelty — but the cruelty for LITERALLY no reason. As in, there was NOTHING for him to gain, not even an ego boost. And the fact that he seemed to be finding joy in torturing another human being and joking about her killing herself. …

            It hit several buttons on a personal level. It was the first time I was physically uncomfortable watching Survivor. And sadly, not the last.

      • Vagabond

        All solid options, but Keep in mind, you had a whole season of many of those people and only 3 episodes of joe, none of which focus on his tribe since they never lost. Given what we have seen and know about him, I think there is potential for him to get so so much worse

        • the sky is falling

          TBH, Tony would probably be worse to share a beach with than Joe. Id imagine it was very wearing to be around his manic personality all day long.

          • Mike Hirsch

            My god, I would *love* to be on a beach with Tony and just sit back and watch him go. I’d enjoy watching him so much I’d probably forget to actually play.

      • Roswulf

        I loathe Joe, but I’m definitely on board with this. Joe’s a petulant jerkface (and based on some of his comments, probably a person I don’t want being a parole officer) and I will rejoice when he leaves my TV screen. But given the reports of Patrick waking people up in the middle of the night for funsies…I don’t even think he’s the worst to live with of this season.

      • EmAndScoutInBK

        I’d rather be with Abi. It’s close between joe, Dan, and Jason. Fuck Scot. Varner is likely the person that I absolutely could not be on the same beach as.

      • Other Scott

        I think Will would be fine to be on a beach with as long as you don’t take away his opportunity for food. Dan Foley would probably be okay too, he’s more of a doofus than a malevolant or annoying personality. Varner had one horrible horrible moment that showed a lot of underlying problems but on a day to day basis he’d probably be okay.

        That leaves Abi, Jason and Scot and …. yeah I think Abi would be the worst just judging by the entire cast basically despising that she’s on the island with them. Jason and Scot are probably along the same level as Joe. And yeah, Patrick really does sound worse

        • UseYourCommonSense

          Agree with everything you said except I wouldn’t mind being around Jason. Scott I cannot stand and Abi seems cool but not when she’s playing the game.

    • Dubious Rob

      The top one of my list has a name that rhymes with “Schmaonka.”

      • Dubious Rob

        Not to mention Schmussell, Schmillip, Schmolton, Schmabi-schmaria…

  • By The Numbers

    Today I learned that Ashley from the Heroes tribe lives only a couple of miles away from me. I can’t decide if this makes me hate her more or less (I’m leaning towards more)

  • gouis

    I will never for the life of me understand the Erin Lobdell thing. She’s just a skinny girl with a small face.

    I GUESS KIND OF LIKE HALEY. I found Andys type.

    • Purple Rock Emma

      Andy’s type is women.

    • Purple Rock Emma

      Also Erinn Lobdell is island hot, but reunion makeup without glasses doesn’t do it for me.

      • purplerockandy

        Erinn is “land a professional athlete” hot.

        • gouis

          You’re fucking insane. She’s like part of the third tier hot girl that hangs out with the other hot girls in high school.

          I also see no pictures to support your claim, like you did (correctly) with Alicia.

      • Maritimer

        Yeah, it’s like mid-merge she gets attractive

        • Kemper Boyd

          Survivor Hot and Real Hot can intersect but Survivor Hot is it’s own thing.

  • Purplerockmatt

    I want John to know that I always grade hotness on the curves

    • Purple Rock Emma

      I detest you.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        You are very brave to come forward and say that. I want you to know that I support you and anyone else that detests @purplerockmatt:disqus . It is time to stop being quiet about this!

        …I, too, have detested Purplerockmatt since Outcast League: San Juan del Sir in 2014. I should have said something then, but I knew that if I did I would never be invited back to the fantasy leagues and my PRP experience would be over. I should have spoken up sooner. If we all detest Purplerockmatt together we can expose him for the ratfink he truly is.

        • prettyboyprobst

          I’ll take your spot.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            You couldn’t handle my spot!

            But that’s why you’re the Assistant to the Executive Comissioner of the Palsy League. In twenty years or so I’ll probably step down to a more honorary role and there you are! Ready to take the reins! “Comissioner Prettyboy”! Sounds good doesn’t it?

          • prettyboyprobst

            I knew this league could provide a real career opportunity right when I claimed a spot and took over the responsibilities of Assistant League Commisissioner in the first fiscal quarter of the year!
            I’m excited for what the future brings.

  • Kemper Boyd

    Guys, I haven’t finished the podcast or gotten to the hottest cast bit but can I suggest Blood vs Water?
    The only complete zeros are Rupert and Laura B. (and maybe Colton). But Tyson, Rachel, Marissa, John Cody, Candace, Aras, Hayden and of course Katie Collins. PLus lets be real here Laura M, Monica Culpepper and Tina are all attractive older ladies.

    • gouis

      Too weak on the hot ladies. If Katie is the best you got then keep looking.

      • Purple Rock Emma

        Rachel, Marissa, and Laura M. are all more attractive than Katie. Hell, you could make an argument for Kat, but why would you want to?

        • sharculese

          You don’t want to watch her try to make it for herself?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Touché.

            Wait. It works in that case.

        • purplerockandy

          Candace is the most attractive woman. And obviously there are weirdos like me who have a thing for Ciera.

          • Mike Hirsch

            And then Cambodia had Ciera, Monica, Wentworth, Wentworth’s glasses, Abi, Jeremy, Savage, Fishbach, Joe, Probst…not terrible.

          • All-Star seasons are always going to be solid eye candy because, let’s say, half of any rando cast is going to be generally attractive, and then the majority of the people from that pool who viewers want to see again will also be attractive…like at least two-thirds. It’s just science.

          • StormofCuteness

            Plus, people like me who find people wayyyyyyy more attractive once I know their personalities definitely find All-Star seasons hotter.

          • Maritimer

            Spencer, pre day like 35 when he became a skeleton

          • Kemper Boyd

            Never Spencer.

          • I think that happened earlier.

          • You also have Terry, Vytas, Woo, Peih-Gee…

          • gouis

            Ciera is another skinny girl with a small face!

          • purplerockandy

            I always thought she had a long face.

          • gouis

            Yeah I’m wrong on that account.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            That was an oversight, I straight up forgot Candace.

          • DrVanNostrand

            That seems appropriate.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            This may be my favorite running joke on this site, because it is 100% sincere every time it happens.

      • Kemper Boyd

        It’s overall average not top end numbers.

  • StormofCuteness

    Not being on Twitter made me realize that I am too addicted to it, and that, since I’m also not on Facebook, I now have no clue what happened in the world today because I avoid watching the news and wasn’t in my car. Being clueless is oddly comforting, however, and I was more productive. I seem to remember this is how I used to live my life. Hrm.

    • Like, I know for a fact that when Dubya was President, his administration was doing all sorts of horrible things every day. But it was so much easier to go about your business when he wasn’t literally ranting and raving about every horrible thing in your face every damn day as you’re trying to, like, check tomorrow’s weather, get sports scores, or pay your bills.

      Social media made everything better briefly and then WORSE FOREVER.

      • StormofCuteness

        I used to think I truly hated Dubya, but now I know what true hate is! Whatever else I couldn’t stand about him, at least he wasn’t racist or sexist and could pretend to understand our constitution. Sigh.

        • Yes to all, except he miiiiiiiight have been racist.

          • StormofCuteness

            He did put more minorities on his cabinet than anyone before him, and his brother is married to a hispanic. I guess his love of Condolezza seemed genuine to me, for instance.

          • Purplerockmatt

            I think Dubya might have been racist in the way that a lot of people are in that he holds no individual animosity towards minority individuals, but doesn’t consider the effects of his policies on their communities

          • StormofCuteness

            Yes, I agree, but compared to what is happening now, his policies seem downright progressive (particularly re: immigration).

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Let’s not get crazy here. Bush was terrible, it’s just that at least he didn’t throw the steering wheel out the window.

            ETA: And to be fair: 1) did not demonize Muslims after 9/11, 2) did a lot of overlooked good in Africa, 3) was more a case of a person way out of his depth (and thus vulnerable to the likes of Cheney) than actively trying to do harm.

          • He even made the case for helping Africa deal with the HIV crisis during a State of the Union address one year. I disagreed with a lot of the things he did, but that was admirable.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            My over all takeaway from the past year or so has been that all of the U.S. presidents from my lifetime, regardless of whether or not I have agreed with them politically, have been decent, principled human beings…except one.
            It’s been simultaneously a very comforting and a very upsetting realization.

    • purplerockandy

      I accidentally opened my Twitter app at least 7 times before immediately turning it off realizing what I had done.

      • Only 7? And did you scream every time you did it, like me?

      • StormofCuteness

        I don’t even have the app, and I still am on there constantly.

      • I will periodically open Twitter, read through my timeline, close the app, get bored, and immediately reopen it forgetting that I just closed it.

        • purplerockandy

          I’ll leave Twitter but keep the tab open. Then open it on another tab.

        • Maritimer

          That feeling when you refresh your feed and there’s literally nothing new there makes me wonder what the hell I’ve done with my life

      • I did that once. I had withdrawal the whole day.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Tell me about it. I actually had dreams last night that I accidentally twittered.

      • StormofCuteness

        I had to basically not use my phone!

    • I removed it from my phone, because I know I just go to it without thinking about it. I’d done the same thing when I went on vacation this summer, and it was great not having to hear as much about the awfulness going on in the world.

  • Max_Jets

    “If they made the whole cast attractive, it’s not Survivor”
    Too bad we aren’t getting a Survivor season next Spring, but at least we get some weird, sexy knockoff.

  • indescribable hat

    YES Cook Islands’ inclusion in the list of hot casts brings me such joy.

    • Kemper Boyd

      very hot cast. They forgot OG JP, Becky and Jenny Guzon-Bay.

      • indescribable hat

        I no longer remember who they mentioned but I feel like if I start listing hot people in that cast I’ll list so many that I’ll just be obnoxiously singling out the few I don’t like.

        • Kemper Boyd

          I think most of the cast if not all but two are above average or hot.

  • Super duper fan

    *after surviving through all the hope, despair, talking bears, degenerate males and seesaw effects*

    I finally watched the episode! Hopefully, I’ll also watch the final week of Australian Survivor tomorrow (even though I’m 99% sure I’m spoiled on who the winner is), and I still have to listen to TAZ, so most likely I will be able to discuss it a day later, so sorry about that. But anyways, onto my thoughts:

    -I liked the episode. It continues to be an enjoyable season so far, with a lot of potential for fireworks later, if the storylines actually pay off.

    -I’m glad that Patrick went instead of Lauren. I was actually a bit surprised about that. And it’s not like I actively disliked Patrick, because I actually liked the role he played, and I wasn’t a fan of Lauren’s remarks about red-heads (though I think it COULD’ve been a joke like one of the comments here says). I just think he would just annoy me by the merge like Taylor did in MvGX. And I was legimetely impressed by that Lauren menaged to wiggle out of the bottom. I actually like Lauren a lot more than I thought I would, and I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt with her remarks, and hope that she wasn’t serious about them.

    -I liked Jessica this episode, and hope she’ll be a major to mild force later. I just find her super likable, and she does seem smart to me. I hope she’ll stick around, and no, it’s not only due to my leagues.

    Like I said, I’m still enjoying the season, and hope this feeling will last. And my updated PR from last week is:

    1. Ali (+1)
    2. Ben (+1)
    3. Chrissy (-2)
    4. Ryan (0)
    5. Alan (+1)
    6. Lauren (+5)
    7. Devon (+3)
    8. Ashley (+1)
    9. Jessica (+4)
    10. Mike (-3)
    11. Cole (-6)
    12. Joe (-4)
    13. JP (-1)
    14. Roark (0)
    15. Desi (0)

    • Max_Jets

      s/o to your controversial Alan ranking, though he is number 1 in my heart

      • Super duper fan

        I actually do see the possibility of him having a Tony-esque edit, plus he has one of the most well-rounded edits so far. There is a gap between Ryan and Alan for me, but I do have a lot of hopes for him, and I also have been really enjoying him so far.

        • Max_Jets

          Yeah, and I would say his most negative content had to have been shown both for the sake of explaining the tribe dynamics and for creating good television.

      • Very Ball-sy (well done, me) to have Alan that high. Not sure I agree, but I respect the willingness to be wrong.

  • StormofCuteness

    Not sure who will see this, but after 9 hrs in the ER and after a Cat Scan they finally admitted I do have pneumonia, and I’m on the right meds. Thanks so much to all those who were so supportive on Twitter.

    PRP is the best, and you mean the world to me!

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Awesome news! I’m glad everything is under control. The ER room is zero fun.

      • StormofCuteness

        Also, I’m starving. 12 hrs w/o food! We’re finally eating!

    • Other Scott

      Wow, you needed a CT scan? I remember when I got checked for pneumonia all they did was a chest X-Ray, though that might be because they were pretty sure it wasn’t and just wanted to confirm.

      • StormofCuteness

        I had x-rays in Urgent Care Sat. and then more x-rays in the ER. Neither showed I had pneumonia. So they kept me because why was my heart rate so high and why did I have so little oxygen and why wasn’t I responding better to the breathing treatments? Finally I got the CT scan which proved Urgent Care had been right all along that the x-rays were wrong, and I had pneumonia in my lower right lobe.

        Words can not express how exhausting that 9 hrs was!!

        • Other Scott

          Dang! I didn’t realize the X-Rays were so fallible. Especially on, considering how poorly it sounded like you were doing, a pretty serious case of pneumonia.

          • StormofCuteness

            Yeah, it sucked wasting 9 hrs for same result, but I guess better to know than not? Anyway, healing is happening!

    • Well that’s a relief, other than the fact that you have pneumonia. That part is kind of a drag.

      • StormofCuteness

        Yes, breathing seems important!

    • mratfink

      Yeah for correct meds! I hope you get better soon!

      • StormofCuteness

        Thank you! Me too!