Quiz: Which Purple Rock Podcast Staffer Are You?

In a rare display of effort, John discovered a true Game Changer™ for the site: We can make quizzes now, y’all. And what better way to introduce this new feature than in the most self-involved way possible – making our readers find out which PRP staffer they are?

So take our below quiz to find out the truth: Will you be Andy the blowhard, John the conservative, Matt whose live blog you don’t read, Mark who is also on staff, or me, the girl?

What's your favorite episode of The Simpsons?

What kind of shoes do you usually wear?

Which female Survivor do you have a crush on?

Which male Survivor do you have a crush on?

What do you order at the bar?

What is your comfort food?

Who is your favorite superhero?

Who is your favorite band?

What book series could you read over and over?

Pick a movie to watch.

What's your dream job?

Feel free to tweet your results using the hashtag #PRPquiz. (Editor’s note: We will definitely be using this as a popularity contest and as a way to make fun of each other. Please give us the material we need.)

Emma
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Emma

Emma is the token chick of the Purple Rock Podcast. She has watched the show continuously since the second episode and is pretty sure she's never seen the pilot.

Favorite seasons: Heroes vs. Villains, Micronesia, Cambodia, Cook Islands, China, Philippines

Favorite players: Courtney Yates, Parvati Shallow, John Cochran, Cirie Fields, Yul Kwon, Kim Spradlin
Emma
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317 thoughts on “Quiz: Which Purple Rock Podcast Staffer Are You?

  1. I knew it! I’m Emma (even though I’m a guy)! She was alwaus better than these other losers.

  2. I was disappointed in my result, but then I again I would have been disappointed in any of the results.

  3. I got Andy, but considering that y’all have bad taste in shoes and only included two actual superheroes, I’m not surprised this quiz is off. PRP is skewed; nothing but old news.

    1. And they didn’t even include Moon Knight in the superhero section! Like… come on!

      1. I mean, as with any quiz, you have to go with your favorite of the available options, but it’s like, Batman for 90% of us, right?

        1. I felt bad and threw Cap a pity vote. I didn’t feel Warren Buffet needed the help.

          1. I went Cap out of legit love and not pity. I mean, Captain America’s storyline 90% of the time is “He did what is right and morale and just, no matter what.” I know Batman’s got that flawed hero things that people love, but like, Captain America is the embodiment of justice. That’s my language right aobut now…

            Also, I’m pretty sure i’d do some Beatles-era scream-fainting if I saw Chris Evans…

          2. Oooh, the Beatles playing live. That’s another thing I was born after!

          1. Not to get all nerdy, but I am not entirely sure how to pick my defining Batman. Reruns of the Adam West Batman served as my initial point of contact, never really got into the comics at a young age (although A Death In The Family and The Killing Joke definitely were on my radar), and then thoroughly enjoyed the first Tim Burton movie (I was 12 when it came out). But I would probably agree that BTAS was what I’d consider to be the *real* Batman.

          2. this is all basically me, except you are a few years older than me. but yeah reruns of adam west, burton and then btas.

          3. Thank you! I see my youth as a beautiful badge of entitlement, that tells me everything and everyone was made for my enjoyment.

          4. Bringing up that you’re younger than The Simpsons REALLY makes people feel old. That’s one of my faves.

          5. I remember when I was an intern people were all in a tizzy because I’m younger (barely) than The Little Mermaid.

          6. You mean you didn’t call up your best friend and sync up your VHS tapes and watch The Little Mermaid over the phone from your respective houses? God, you’re young….

          7. I mean, no, because that’s weird. But also I still had The Little Mermaid on VHS, how young do you think I am?

          8. I was born after the OJ Simpson trial and the Internet going public. I think those are my big ones.

          9. Oh wow. I’ve come to think of myself as one of the babies around here, but I have actual memories of my dad watching that trial.

      2. My actual comic book hero choices would’ve been just as C-list as Moon Knight: New Warriors, Darkhawk, Harbinger, or Guardians of the Galaxy (original Vance Astro flavor).

        1. Pretty hard to imagine why he’s no longer a fan of comics having come up on those legendary titles.

          1. I think X-Force might have been my most mainstream choice. I did read X-Men, but it was never my favorite. And fuck DC; I never read any of their stuff.

      1. I would pick Harry Potter or Pikachu for a lot of things but not for superheroes.

        1. I pick Pikachu because I have a reputation to maintain, although I would probably pick Green Lantern if given the option.

          1. Running shoe question: I’ve been running (if you can call it that) on NB for more than 10 years now. I have slightly caveman feet (a bit wide, a bit thick top to bottom) and Nike, for example, are like torture devices. Is there another brand I should investigate? Neutral stride, forefoot strike.

          2. If you have wide feet, NB is almost always going to have the most options because it’s kind of their thing. I always found NB to be bulky and heavy.

            I do get the perception of Nike as torture if you have wider feet, though; they run small in general. I always have to buy a half-size higher in Nike to account for that.

            A guy I was talking to recently was a big fan of his Brooks, and he was a neutral striker too. He’s also a larger, more muscular guy than me (which I recognize is not a high bar).

            If you’re into running on a heavenly cushion, Asics Kayanos are/were my favorite.

          1. I am lucky that I live near a great shoe store that will let me try on about 8 pairs of shoes. One foot is wider than the other and I have narrow heels.

  4. I also got a question for y’all: is it good or bad if Survivor gets preempted tonight for breaking news about Russia/Flynn/Comey/Trump? It’s bad because the Canadians will probably get to watch it normally and not us, right?

    1. Americans don’t care about political news, nerd. No way Survivor gets interrupted unless OJ kills againfor the first time.

      1. OJ could never kill anyone. But I am definitely excited about his upcoming novel “If I Did it Again”.

    2. Depends exactly how breaking the news is. If its big enough, Global may pre-empt it was well (but otherwise yes, and we will lord over knowing things HOURS before you do, in a non-spoilery fashion of course)

      1. I don’t remember the Clinton era extremely well, but I think impeachment takes a little longer than that especially if the Republicans still hold a small majority.

        1. I remember the Clinton Era not at all, but there’s no way articles of impeachment make breaking news and no way they happen tonight. The build-up would be a slow rumble to the point where rumors don’t qualify for special reports and the articles themselves (once submitted) would be foreseen at least a few days in advance.

  5. I got Emma but I’m mostly concerned by the fact that none of the options for “male survivor you have a crush on” would even make my top 5

      1. I looked for Jay, then Spencer, then Malcolm before deciding I should pick one actually on the list and settling on Burton

        1. I also went with Burton, because picking Ken seemed wrong somehow. Like I’d be flying too close to the sun.

          1. He’s cute (or was, haven’t seen any recent pictures) but I wouldn’t even say he’s the hottest on his season. In sheer looks, both Yul and Jeremy are more attractive but I never really had a crush on either and I kind of did on Burton

          2. Ultimately what the question is asking is “which of these are closest to your type?”

            And I bet we still didn’t cover the options well.

          3. Well enough, I think. Burton fits the general profile for my type, even if he wouldn’t be my pick

          4. I was pretty excited to watch Pearl Islands because I had seen pictures and thought he was one of the hottest cast members ever. But then I watched and…I don’t know if it’s the way he talks or his mannerisms, but I was let down.

        2. Emma and I discussed the flaw that we had no young men as options. But decided it had to be that way.

  6. I got John, which I was not expecting. I was expecting Emma.

    Also, here is how I would have answer these questions personally:
    1. Don’t watch enough to know specific episode names
    2. Idk the brand names, but I wear a different pair of shoes almost every day of the week…
    3. Michaela (motherfuckingBAE)
    4. Malcolm
    5. Whiskey & Ginger Ale
    6. Chicken Tenders
    7. Actual superhero: Squirrel Girl; Superhero movie character: Mystique
    8. The Strokes
    9. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
    10. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
    11. Theme Park Owner

    1. For what it’s worth, none of those movies are any of our actual favorite movies.

        1. Well Matt and I have the same favorite movie, so we went with movies we really like that also seem representative of who we are.

          1. hmmm. Well, if i’m aiming for a movie that I both enjoy and is representative of me…Mean Girls may actually be perfect. Or Wet Hot American Summer…

          2. I would have definitely chosen that over whatever I chose. (I hadn’t seen High Fidelity, and I thought Pulp Fiction was overrated, but I did see it over 10 yrs after its release and after I saw Kill Bill, so the violence wasn’t shocking)

          3. Pulp Fiction overrated?!!! I’m legit saddened by that comment. Pulp Fiction is the best ever.

          4. My favorite movie is a movie I haven’t yet seen. It was released in 2003. I’ll see it in six years.

    2. 1. Treehouse of Horror with “The Shinning”
      2. Asics or flip flops
      3. Julie Berry or Jessie Camacho
      4. Ken or Burton
      5. Various cocktails, including the two options above.
      6. Chicken tikka masala
      7. I honestly don’t know. I haven’t read comics in forever, and I don’t generally watch superhero movies.
      8. Kanye (despite the recent album being garbage) or White Stripes
      9. Something non-fiction, probably. But if we’re going fiction, probably ASOIAF (even though books 4 and 5 felt like a slog).
      10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
      11. Mogul

      1. So, without Hitchhikers being an option, It was a toss up between Harry Potter or ASOIAF. I just recently finished the latter, and thoroughly enjoyed reading it, but felt like it wouldn’t give me as much joy the second time around, largely because it is such a joyless series. I haven’t watched the show yet, but I have an idea of where things are, but as they stand the books are stuck in this perpetual rut of ‘things get worse’ for about 90% of the characters. After 5 massive books, we have only a rare few instances of satisfaction for the reader ( Daenerys using her dragons to burn the slave masters and maybe Arya killing those guys in the Inn? ). So, i chose Harry Potter. Because, like, those books let me smile occasionally…

          1. GAWD, I don’t know why I didn’t think of LOTR, i’d put that above Harry Potter or ASOIAF. But Hitchhikers still at the top. Every time i read any of those books again, I find more amazing things to laugh at. Douglas Adams is a genius.

          2. I made it through LOTR, and found the payoffs very much worth the effort, but it was still a lot of work. I’m in no rush to reread them.

        1. I would agree with that on ASOIF. I enjoyed reading them waiting to see what happens, but I don’t think I could ever go back and slog through them again. I’m not even sure I’ll buy the new books now that its clear the TV show is going to pass them

          1. It already has in many regards. I mean, as noted, i haven’t begun it, but you can’t do 6 seasons of people getting shit on and still be on air. I assume a lot of where the show and books deviate is them actually letting the good guys win once or twice….

        2. I couldn’t get through more than half of the first GOT book. I switched to the show and liked it a lot better. There were just too many damn characters.

          Harry Potter is amazingly constructed, and gets more sophisticated with each book as the characters naturally get more mature.

          1. Lol, if you thought there were too many characters in the first book, you wouldn’t have loved the rest. By the end of the 3rd book, there are so many characters that he decides one book can’t handle all them. The 4th and 5th books are roughly the same time period, but each addresses a different group of characters.

          2. So I was trying to read it on a plane next to my husband, who was reading “The Martian” I was annoyed and confused and frustrated trying to keep track of who was who, and he was cracking up laughing. When he finished the Martian, I grabbed it and couldn’t put it down and finished it in 2 days.

            At the risk of losing nerd cred, I think I made the right choice switching to the series.😉

          3. Eh, I get that. I mean, i know a lot of people who really like LOTR but can’t make it through the books. While this makes them heretics, I understand. LOTR is a rough series to make through. I mean, the first 40 pages of Two Towers is just Legolas, Aregorn, and Gimli running across Rohan for days and days. But it’s 100% rewarding. It’s just too perfect.

          4. I loved The Hobbit and LOTR, so I tried The Silmarillion and was like “Nah, this is too much, I’m out” within the first 50 pages.

          5. I have read parts, but never actually held it and sat down. It’s definitely on my to-do list. But yeah, the Silmarillion is like, nth degree nerdom.

            When it comes to books, I have a really hard time not finishing them. Even when I start reading and know i’m bored, i’ll struggle through and finish it, just because I refused to not. Sometimes I wish I had the same mentality about other things, lol.

    3. 1. Lisa on Ice
      2. the orthopedic brand I wear to work retail or Birkenstocks (I’ve got the feet of a 50 year old lesbian)
      3. Andrea, out of the options given, I guess.
      4. Cochran, Fishbach, or Yul
      5. Rum and Coke
      6. Kraft Mac N Cheese (none of that KD bs–this is ‘Merica.)
      7. Batman, probably. I like the old Adam West series.
      8. The Beatles
      9. Harry Potter
      10. Singin’ in the Rain
      11. Teacher or Librarian

      1. SINGIN IN THE RAIN IS THE ULTIMATE!

        My boyfriend saw La La Land but hasn’t seen Singin’ in the Rain, and I give him a lot of shit about it. Cause La La Land is 1/2 homage 1/2 recreation of Singin’ in the Rain…

          1. And the Casablanca, and the American in Paris. Homage Stew really is the best way to put it, lol

          1. I’m sorry! I don’t like Lina Lamont as a character and the dream sequence towards the end really drags. Everything else is great of course, but I have no issues that big with La La Land.

          2. How dare you not like Lina Lamont! Haven’t you heard, she’s irresistible! She told me so herself!

          3. I mean, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Though not liking Lina Lamont (who, you aren’t really supposed to like? I mean, she’s the closest thing to the villain…) seems an odd hangup, lol.

          4. She’s very funny, I just don’t like the way she’s written, if that makes sense. I’m fine with her being a villain but I wish she was a bit more…complex. It feels like we’re presented with the “good” woman and the “bad” woman. I like when the antagonists have a bit more to them. I have the same problem with a lot of Disney movies too, so it might just be the way I watch things.

          5. I wrote out this big stupid huge responses, but it was definitely going to be too long a conversation, lol

          6. Hahaha, I probably wouldn’t have much more to add because I’m sure you know the movie a lot better than I do. I meant to post to support La La Land more than I did to shit on Singin’ in the Rain, but I just ended up sounding really negative.

          7. nah, you’re fine. I just realized i’m probably not likely to change your opinion, and I could easily write 1,000 words that no one wants to read, so it seemed a better option to just agree to disagree. Plus, i’ve got film history on my side, so…

          8. You have supplanted Debbie as history’s greatest monster. Lina Lamont is perfect.

            (But the dream ballet does drag)

      2. Whoa, we are very close to twinsies. It’s almost spooky. I too have the feet of a 50 year old bisexual though…because I am actually a 50 yr old bisexual. Heh.

    4. 1. I came up with a top five a few years ago during the first Every Simpsons Ever Marathon which was Treehouse of Horror V, Marge vs The Monorail, I Love Lisa, Cape Feare, and Who Shot Mr.Burns?. I would probably knock off Who Shot Mr. Burns and go with A Fish Called Selma. Anyway, my new favorite episode is I Love Lisa.
      2. Ballet flats/sandals
      3. Aubry, I guess
      4. AO Colby (I believe I have been on record about that)
      5. Midori Sour
      6. Chicken and Dumplings
      7. Squirrel Girl
      8. Foo Fighters (Coldplay is only my second favorite band)
      9. Harry Potter
      10. Gone With the Wind
      11. Teacher/Librarian (Hey,look, that is what I am doing right now! Yay!!!)

    5. 1. Last Exit to Springfield
      2. I wear sneakers. I’m not picky. I dunno, Adidas
      3. Parvati
      4. Jay
      5. Rye and Ginger
      6. Burger
      7. Not really a superhero person. I dunno, Ironman
      8. Country fan. Probably Lady A
      9. Night Angel Trilogy (though Harry Potter is right there)
      10. Yeah, its Mean Girls
      11. Really, its professional political operative but those are barely a thing in Canada. Or a trust fund baby

    6. 1. I don’t watch it.
      2. I think I mostly wear sketchers.
      3. Michelle Schubert.
      4. Adam Klein.
      5. I don’t go to bars, but I mostly drink orange juice.
      6. Chicken wings.
      7. As in the real superhero, probably Batman.
      8. I’m too cool for bands.
      9. Harry Potter
      10.Mulan
      11. Ashley Underwood’s biggest fan…Oh, wait. I’m already him, silly me.

    7. Marge v. The Monorail
      Hightops
      Wentworth
      Charlie Herschel
      Water
      Fried rice
      Spiderman or Deadpool but only when paired with the other
      Beyonce or Chance but if it has to be multiple people then Queen
      Seriously, books are for nerds
      John Wick
      Teacher or voice actor

    8. 1. ? I used to watch The Simpsons all the time as a kid, but I don’t know episode titles and I probably wouldn’t have the same favorites today.
      2. I don’t remember what kind of shoes I have right now, but Sketchers works here.
      3. Sophie (Aubry for the options given)
      4. Aras (Jeremy for the options given)
      5. Whiskey Sour
      6. Omelette (w/ Hash Browns)
      7. Dana Scully (according the options we can stretch the definition here, so I will do that too)
      8. Murder by Death
      9. A Series of Unfortunate Events
      10. Mulholland Drive
      11. TBD

    9. 1. Itchy & Scratchy Land (honorable mention: Bart the Daredevil)
      2. Van’s (Doc Martens if I’m dressing up)
      3. Brenda, duh (underreported story: Andrea might be #2)
      4. Malcolm
      5. Old Fashioned (Sazerac if it’s the right kind of bar and bartender)
      6. Quesadillas (HM: Kara-age chicken)
      7. Ultraman
      8. REM (HM: Talking Heads)
      9. Dune (HM: Hitchhiker’s Guide)
      10. Not sure what the criteria are here, but let’s say The Third Man drama, Cornetto Trilogy comedy
      11. TV Writer (HM: New Yorker writer)

    10. 1. Summer of 4ft2
      2. I have to wear sneakers all the time for works, but TUK/Demonia/Hot Chocolate type brands
      3. Cydney
      4. Yul is awesome, and I still adore Erik (I think Cochran’s condescension towards his occupation made me like him more), and, I mean, Malcolm this season was wonderful.
      5. Fruit Tingle
      6. I don’t think I have a savoury comfort food
      7. Batcow
      8. Australian bands no-one here has heard of, The Wombats/Modern Baseball/pre-hiatus Fall Out Boy
      9. Artemis Fowl
      10. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
      11. I’d still be a dog-walker/pet sitter, but I’d be earning so much more money.

        1. They have been all over the music sites I frequent, but i’ve only heard their music in passing…

          1. What genre would you say they are? I read a review of their latest which said they were getting more metal, which put me off them a bit, as I have to be in a very particular mood (or still in high school) to be into metal…

          2. They’re more psychadelic than metal. I wouldn’t call them metal at all.

          3. Nonagon Infinity is designed so that the album can be played in a single uninterrupted loop.

          4. That’s cool. The Bosnian Rainbows album is similar, in that it starts and ends with the same sort of sound. Thus when you are listening to it on repeat it seems to seamlessly start playing again. I think the first Cheatahs album is the same.

        2. Wait, have you mentioned them before? I had deja vu.

          They were playing at a festival I was at, and it was the first time I was seeing them live, and we were betting on how many songs they could fit into a set. The answer was 6.

          1. At times it certainly felt like it =p

            But it was only an hour, possibly an hour and fifteen minutes.

            (I do like them, but I discovered I prefer them on the radio to live.)

      1. What falls under “Australian bands no-one here has heard of”? I’m interested both to 1) see if I know any of them and 2) get some new bands to explore. What genre?

        1. (I do know that Flume, Tame Impala, and Courtney Barnett are relatively well known now.)

          What genres are you interested in?

          My favourite band is Sugar Army, with The Love Junkies close behind. They’re both “rock”, but sound completely different. (I just queried Hector, and he says SA are like a poppier Jesus and Mary Chain, and TLJ are similar to post-hardcore.) Also Harlequin League (though they haven’t been active for a while.)

          Alex Lahey (singer-songwriter) is wonderful.

          Also, Megan Washington (sometimes just known as “Washington”.). I believe she once did a cover of The Simpsons’ Theme.

          Gang of Youths basically sound like The National.

          The Smith Street Band are kind of like The Gaslight Anthem.

          City Calm Down are like 80’s electro with aspects of goth.

          Violet Soho are super popular. They’re just straight up rock.

          There’s Birds of Tokyo if you like something more mellow.

          Timothy Nelson/ Timothy Nelson and the Infidels/ High Horse are decent indie rock.

          Hilltop Hoods are the best of white Australian rap.

          Big Scary is low-tempo indie rock.

          I may come back with more =p

        2. Pendulum!

          (I’m not a big DnB fan, but I really like Pendulum.)

          (Also, sorry I’m not editing this all in the one comment; I’m acessing your post through my email notifications because I haven’t seen the episode yet, and it won’t show me my reply.)

    11. 1. Don’t know the show that well, but let’s say ‘Lisa’s Rival’ because if I think of a Simpsons’ quote I think of “What’s a diorama?”
      2. Black lace ups for work. Old socks at home.
      3. Aubrey
      4. Yul
      5, Gin and tonic
      6. McDonalds Quarter Pounder (I think that qualifies as self-harm)
      7. My deepest connections are with the original Ultimate Spiderman and Batman the animated series.
      8. um…Gorillaz
      9. Terry Pratchett’s Discworld
      10. Something I’ve seen already? Anchorman or The Matrix. But I prefer not to rewatch, so let’s say Seven Samurai.
      11. Financial Manager for a large NGO.

    12. 1. Marge vs. the Monorail
      2. Brooks
      3. Aubry
      4. Yul
      5. The most unusual sofa they have that I have not tried or Squirt
      6. Donuts
      7. Green Lantern (Probably Jon Stewart)
      8. Don’t know
      9. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
      10. Paprika
      11. Research Scientist or Head of DNR/DEQ

    13. 1. Cape Feare
      2. Hush Puppies
      3. Michelle from Fiji
      4. WOO!
      5. Realistically, I am not at a bar
      6. Bread
      7. I don’t actually have a favorite…lets go with Tike Alicar, the Anarchist
      8. What are these “bands” of which you speak?
      9. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
      10. Groundhog Day
      11. Member of the idle rich

    14. 1. I haven’t thought about the SImpsons in years
      2. Nike High Tops
      3. Kate Collins
      4. Yul
      5. Fruity Cocktail
      6. Lahmacun
      7. Dennis Bergkamp
      8. Weezer
      9. the Underworld USA trilogy by James Ellroy
      10. 10 Things I Hate About You
      11. Sports TV presenter

    15. 1. Marge vs. the Monorail
      2. Chucks or boots when socializing, flats back when I worked in an office.
      3. Parvati
      4. Cochran/InvisiBrett/Yul
      5. Water
      6. Fries and a chocolate shake
      7. Actual superhero and not John’s joke answers: Cap or Spider-man, based on movies only.
      8. Brand New or Panic! at the Disco
      9. Harry Potter
      10. The Princess Bride
      11. Entertainment Reporter

    16. 1. There’s an episode that spotlights Lisa and Homer, but I can’t remember the title
      2. New Balance
      3. Brenda Lowe
      4. Joe the jeweler
      5. I don’t go to bars
      6. Kraft Mac & Cheese
      7. Captain America
      8. One Direction
      9. Tamora Pierce’s Tortall series
      10. Leap Year
      11. Astronaut

    17. 1. Monorail bc I renember the name. I watch the show sporadically.
      2. Whatever is on sale in the men’s sneaker department bc women’s sneakers are white pink or purple and I hate that. They are also narrower.
      3. Aubry, Hannah, Jessica Lewis.
      4. Ken. Yul. Mike from RI.
      5. Not a particular drinker.
      6. Lately – bacon jerky.
      7. Buffy
      8. Too many to name.
      9. Handmaids Tale. Dune. Song of ice and fire
      10. Dune. Muppet Movie.
      11. Novelist.

  7. How can we be expected to choose between 3 of the greatest movies of all time and High Fidelity?

        1. At first glance I saw Jack Black and what looked like a video rental store and just assumed it was Be Kind Rewind.

          1. Right! Who would pick Jeremy immediately with no time for second thoughts!

  8. I got Emma, which was the only acceptable answer. Now to wait for the which PRP commenter are you quiz so I can get Barbara Anderson.

    1. People who got Emma = awesome people
      People who got others = mostly not awesome people

          1. Nicaragua. If anyone on the planet rates it above 0, it is mathematically impossible to be more overrated.

        1. The issue is that apparently you’re all Emma. So another quiz would be redundant.

          1. I’m not! I’m John!

            Considering that I was the one who kept bugging John about statistics for the pick 4 pre-season, this is now making a little more sense!

          2. I’ll be doing a deep fantasy league stats dive this off season with the help of another commenter here. It may result in some changes to scoring to make it as balanced as possible.

          3. Is this related to when you asked for help scoring past seasons for comparison? I wanted to help with that SOO bad, but i’m not yet a completionist, so i couldn’t…

          4. Publicly available fantasy stats!?! Drats! My market inefficiency is ruined!

          5. It is, especially because I’ll likely keep the results of my investigation confined to the people doing the research- gotta try to win my way back into Champions League.

      1. I hope they just troll everyone and all the answers are Saturday Night Palsy.

  9. I got Andy, which surprised me about 0%.

    Sorry I haven’t been commenting much I really haven’t been enjoying this season lately and haven’t found much to comment on.

  10. I got Andy the first time, got Andy again with my “had to think about it for a second” answers, then got Emma with my Costanza answers.

    Seems legit.

  11. I’m debating over what my actual favorite Simpsons episode would be, and Lemon of Troy, You Only Move Twice, and Homer The Vigilante all are hovering near the top.

    1. Lemon of Troy and YOMT would absolutely be in my top five. My #1 is probably Lisa the Vegetarian.

      1. You don’t win friends with salad.

        I feel like anyone could make a case for just about any episode from seasons 3-8 and I’d respect that choice.

    2. I almost put You Only Move Twice. I basically told Emma to pick either that or Homie the Clown (Last Exit is probably my 3rd)

  12. Apparently it’s not sexist, as I am Mark.

    Or there is something one of us is hiding.

  13. I got Emma. Is that only because I chose Cochran? Does a Cohran answer automatically make you an Emma?

      1. We’re not gonna give away the code, but there are no “automatics”. For each answer, we can assign point values of 2, 1, or 0 for potential answers.

        Y’all are just some basic-ass Emmas.

      2. No Cochran, no Harry Potter, fries and beer and I still got Emma. That doesn’t seem right!

        I saw potential matches in Yul, Parv and french fries in her comment further down though, maybe that was enough to make me a basic-ass Emma. Although Andy’s explanation below makes it sound as if gave too many wrong answers to get somebody more special.

  14. I got Mark. Honestly the Simpsons question was the only one I had a definite answer to (Marge vs. the Monorail hands down).

  15. I got Matt 😀
    Oh man I spent so long on the girl/boy crush questions (and not just because I was hypnotized by Alexis’ twerking…but kind of because of that). I couldn’t decide how to define “crush” for myself – is it purely someone I find hot? Someone whose personality/mind I’m attracted to? Someone with a combo of both factors? I thought long and hard about those deep existential questions and then chose Morgan because she has the best boobs. Seriously – probably the best looking woman to ever play Survivor, with the garbage-est personality.
    Guy crush was still difficult but at least easier – Yul has the best combo of bod and mind. The only problem there is that he’s obviously way too good for me.

    1. For crushes I went with who I think I would be most compatible with rather than hottest, though my choices of Aubry and Jeremy also happen to be very attractive.

      1. The only female I’d be compatible with on that list is Aubrey. Guys – probably Cochran but crush is Ken.

    2. True story: John and I have had a long conversation on how we completely screwed up that question as a staff. What we were originally go for was “what do you find most attractive”. Then we decided to put a Survivor spin on it. Then we decided to not make it too crude, but we still wanted to preserve our answers and how they paired with each of us. Which lead to a question that probably isn’t asking the right thing. Or answers that aren’t aligned to what we were trying to achieve.

  16. I got Andy, and am filled with an irresistable urge to explain why the test is completely wrong, which of course means that the test is completely right.

    1. When you come back to complain about this again in a week, then the results will be confirmed.

      1. But what do the denizens of r/whichpurplerockstafferareyou have to say about it, and why are they wrong?

        (I kid. I’m an Andy too)

    2. After taking the test seven times, I have the same urge.

      For the record, I got: Andy, Andy, Andy, Mark, Mark, Andy, Andy.

      1. I’m properly insulted that Mark was ever that close to me. I chose to believe you got him by going completely opposite from your regular, obviously VERY COOL choices.

    1. It’s an unexpected thing, since the odds are highly stacked against anyone getting me. So congrats on beating the odds!

      1. Clearly we are both rare creatures who should be lauded for our originality and unique qualities!

  17. I just got around to posting. I’m am Emma as well. I will say my dream job is not an attorney. It was once.

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