Survivor Analyst Russian Roulette: Debbie Wanner

Welcome to Survivor Analyst Russian Roulette, where the authors of this site are randomly assigned contestants from the upcoming season of Survivor: Game Changers and must give an honest assessment of what to expect from them. Next up: Debbie Wanner.

Editor’s note: Since six entries didn’t feel like enough for this series, we invited some more regular contributors to the site and put them through the randomizer. We’re not saying that the gods were punishing Mike Hirsch for being flippant, but we’re also not NOT saying that.

When given the chance to write about one of the contestants for this season of Survivor, I jumped at the chance with the outward confidence of a Ron Swanson, but inside was feeling the panicky “Nooooooo!” of a Tom Haverford. What if I got Ozzy? Good God, y’all, what if I got Ozzy? But fortune smiled upon me, and instead of Ozzy or some other douche, I got Debbie. Debbie the Strange. Debbie the Many-Chyroned. She for whom puzzles like lovers lay down.

To be completely honest, I had forgotten entirely that Debbie was going to be on this season until an hour or two before I started writing this. So this should be fun!

Analyzing Debbie’s game in Kaoh Rong is a bit of a challenge, because the show went to great lengths to paint Debbie as an eccentric oddball, and not as someone to take seriously (as evidenced by the “Derp” music that seemed to follow her around for much of the pre-merge). Debbie was a master of all trades (source: Debbie), and never met a single obstacle in life that she had not already overcome in some capacity at one of her many, many previous jobs. She would have you believe she could accomplish any task, and talked at great length about doing so.

That said, there was a method to Debbie’s apparent madness. She knew that her fellow players wouldn’t take her seriously, and tried to use that to her advantage. And temporarily, at least, it worked: she properly worked out that Peter and Liz were trying to take charge of the Brains tribe, and managed to solidify an alliance with Aubry, Neal, and Joe to quash that. She also was able to align with Cydney and Michele after a swap, setting the table for a strong women’s alliance (plus Joe and Neal) come the merge. Debbie was styling! Damn, Debbie!

So what happened? Basically, her game fell apart at the merge. She made some questionable moves, such as telling Tai they were in an alliance after a ten-second conversation. And she was not at all concerned with things she should have been concerned with, such as the potential for Scot to have an idol and whether or not her alliance needed a backup plan. Ultimately, Aubry and Cydney had enough of dealing with Debbie, and rather than risk being idoled out, voted her out shortly after the merge. Damn, Debbie.

Best-case scenario

If Debbie starts off the game as kooky, daffy Debbie, she could make everyone forget the glimpses of shrewdness she exhibited in Kaoh Rong (look, I’m not saying they were constantly evident, but they were *there*, dammit), and she could lull them all into the notion that she is harmless enough to ignore for the opening rounds of the game while bigger targets need to be…um…targeted (I have misplaced my thesaurus).

Once the merge hits, Debbie drops her façade, forms a women’s alliance again, kindly asks Tai if he’d like to be in their alliance and lets him respond, and then manages to steer that ship all the way to the final 4. Then, at the final immunity challenge, it turns out that…what’s this? It’s a puzzle! The puzzle somehow literally lays down for Debbie, and she saunters right past it for a win. This remarkable event is all anyone can talk about at Ponderosa, and at Final Tribal, she sweeps the votes without have to once utter a single thing. She merely gives each juror a knowing nod.

Hang in there Debbie!

Worst-case scenario

Debbie has the double-edged sword of coming into this season as one of four Kaoh Rong cast members. It wouldn’t take much for the Kaoh Rong 4 to pull in a few other players and find themselves in the majority once the merge hits. However, it wouldn’t take much for the Kaoh Rong 4 to pull in a few other players and find themselves in the majority once the merge hits, and everyone else playing will likely know this. The Kaoh Rong 4 could find themselves quickly outnumbered in the early stages of the game while they are split up amongst the tribes, and Debbie seems like an easy vote in that regard, as Tai probably would contribute more in challenges, and also probably talk less? Debbie could very easily rub people the wrong way. The first time her tribe loses, Debbie could be in trouble and gone.

Most likely scenario

Despite the possible disadvantage of having 1/5 of the Game Changers cast hailing from her season, Debbie should be able to lay low and let some of the more obvious threats be eliminated in the pre-merge, and will likely be seen as a potential goat to protect and bring to the end by several players (I’m looking in Andrea’s direction, due to her frequent dealings with Phillip).

Whether or not she manages to get to the end (as a goat or otherwise) depends entirely on her ability to rein in some of her over-the-top tendencies that completely dominate every facet of her personality. I wouldn’t take that bet. Essentially, I think Debbie is the likeliest candidate from this cast to play almost exactly the same game as she did the first time around, note for note. I think she’ll hit the merge, form an alliance of people who are willing to let her serve as the de facto leader, and then let that alliance take her out as soon as they feel she’s too much of a question mark to be relied upon as a vote. I’ll say she ends up in 10th place.

Read the rest!

Other Game Changers preseason contestant content:

Mike Hirsch

Mike Hirsch

Mike Hirsch first started watching Survivor at the merge episode of Borneo, and was hooked through Fiji. He then stopped watching until his wife got him back into the show for San Juan Del Sur, and he dutifully caught up on his missed seasons.

Favorite seasons: HvV, Pearl Islands, Tocantins, Cagayan, Cambodia

Favorite players: Earl Cole, Sandra Diaz-Twine, Kelley Wentworth, Boston Rob, Jay Starrett
Mike Hirsch

Latest posts by Mike Hirsch (see all)

  • I love the love for Jay.

    Great assessment, but I think you forgot a big reason (based on the show’s edit) as to why Debbie was the choice that round. She was getting too close to Julia without realizing that Julia was a double agent, which Cydney and Aubry could see.

    • Mike Hirsch

      True. But her intransigence to the very idea of voting for Julia fell into having a backup plan. And it was 10pm and I was sleepy.

    • Hornacek

      Debbie going on offense after the merge (“Tai, you and me are in an alliance, ok?”) was bad, but her downfall (from what we saw on the show) was all about her telling Aubry that she would not vote for Julia no matter what. Then she told Julia about Aubry’s plan in front of the alliance, and Julia immediately went to Scot and Jason and told them everything. At that point, Aubry couldn’t trust Debbie with anything and she went from an ally to a liability.

      • That may explain why Debbie is scared of Andrea because all blondes look alike, right?

        • Hornacek

          OMG Andrea replied to my comment!!!!

          Oh wait, it’s just Barbara Anderson.

          • The great thing is that I am not even a blonde in real life. I have extremely dark brown hair.

  • Mike Hirsch

    Hirsh? Hirsh?!?!

    • Blame Andy. I’ll fix it.

      • Mike Hirsch

        He’s probably still annoyed at my lack of enthusiasm for Hali.

    • Purplerockmatt

      And thus the commenter revolution was born

      • gouis

        First step: I’m taking you down friendo.

        • Purplerockmatt

          it is the fight that has been prophesied

          • gouis

            I feel like Kemper and Barbara will replace John and Andy, and I will replace you as the 3rd wheel with questionable taste.

          • gouis

            Black Dynamite replaces Emma as the social one to meet Survivors IRL

          • sharculese

            You went with Black Dynamite and i was steeling myself for a tokenism joke.

          • Purplerockmatt

            my tastes are impeccable!

          • purplerockandy

            Kemper and Barbara would put our trademark timezone difference to shame.

          • Yeah, I think we are like 8 or 9 hours apart.

          • The fact that they promptly completed their Roulette posts makes me think they don’t have the requisite laziness for the job.

            Although on the bright side, making 75 cents on the dollar to what we make from the site actually puts them at equal pay. Very progressive!

          • I mean if you consider prompt meaning “Andy DMing me to check in because it was getting close to the deadline”, then yes, I was prompt

          • Remember, you’re being compared to us here. So yes.

          • Oh, I guess being a college teacher pays off…sometimes.

          • I am definitely Andy since we share a sense for being longwinded.

          • Diego Armando

            I can fill in for Mark as the perpetual replacement.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer
    • purplerockandy

      Your new name is Hirsh. Get used to it.

    • Kemper Boyd

      Goys! Amirite!

      • sharculese

        I upvoted this even though my mom’s last name is about as easy for the goyim as Jewish names get and my German last name has that same trailing e as Andrea’s where English speakers get flummoxed about whether its silent.

        • Purple Rock Emma

          My last name is French so I’ve got silent letters all over the place.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Mine too. Six letters and no one has ever pronounced it correctly the first time.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            I had one teacher who pronounced it correctly the first time, but then he had a nervous breakdown and quit with three weeks left in the semester. Feels like a bad omen.

          • sharculese

            I once had a professor start the first day of class by announcing he made a point of at least trying to say everyone’s name. He got to me, said, ‘nope, not gonna try,’ and spelled it out.

          • sharculese

            Okay between this and your Rodney fixation Im now assuming youre actually Joachim.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            If I was Joachim I would have known to pick… No, I would still pick Rodney. Sometimes you need that feeling of hopelessness to feel truly alive.

          • purplerockandy

            My name is completely phonetic and people STILL manage to fuck it up. The go out of their way to do so.

          • indescribable hat

            Mine too! It’s so short and rhymes with every common English word with the same spelling, and yet.

          • purplerockandy

            People mispronouncing hat? smdh

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            No no. It’s clearly hat.

          • Purplerockmatt

            hawt?

          • Purple Rock Emma

            I always knew you thought hat was hawt.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            My last name literally is a common English word spelled in a completely normal way and people still manage to mess it up about 50% of the time.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            My name is impossible to mispronounce. However, my first name is a common last name and vice versa. When somebody’s calling out names from an alphabetized list, they always pause when they get to me, and guess wrong about a third of the time.

          • Purplerockmatt

            i had someone spell matthew as mathew once and i wasnt getting important emails from them. dummies

          • SpicyMayoJaySimpson

            Mine is three letters and I get over 5 different pronunciations regularly. Also fun to spell it over the phone, because everyone expects more letters after the three.

          • Diego Armando

            People always want to add an L to my last name. I really do not know why.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            I’m a Scottish Jew, so I have a long last name with silent letters that nobody can pronounce the first time. My fiancee basically laughs anytime that anyone suggests she take my name.

          • sharculese

            This the opposite issue. The final e isnt silent, but that seems wrong if you grew up speaking English.

            Fun story: i once saw my last name in a book, thought, ‘dont know what to do with that’ and read it wrong for 200 pages.

            On exactly page 200 i looked at it and thought ‘I know Ive seen this name before somewhere. but where? Oh, ooooohhh no.’

    • Hornacek

      Am I the only one picturing Mrs. Carlson yelling “Hirsch!”?

  • SpicyMayoJaySimpson

    This is making me feel a bit better about having Debbie on my fantasy team, but I don’t think she can win at FTC. Either she’s the underdog against Brad and Troy, or she’s the mastermind next to Tai and Caleb. Both are unlikely and unpleasant.

    Also, depending on how this season turns out, Cydney’s return (if she returns) would likely be without any other Kaoh Rong players. Maybe Jason if they’re in HvV2. I’m wondering if that would help her or hurt her.

    • Mike Hirsch

      I very nearly picked Debbie last night as my last pick, and was going to say “time to put my money where my future mouth is and go with Debbie” but that wouldn’t have made sense to anyone but me (and also, phrasing). But the allure of Caleb getting individual points won out over Debbie possibly making the merge.

    • Maritimer

      Versus returning this season? Help her. Generally, I’m not sure. I think having a potential ally from your season is to your benefit, in that it is someone who you have a relationship with and could be an option for an alliance. So long as its not so rock solid a potential ally that your pairing is a threat (i.e. Cydney with Michelle is likely better for her than Cydney with Aubry, given that on screen at least, Cydney and Aubry were shown as closer allies)

  • Super duper fan

    As I said in the comments in Fantasy Drafts page, I do think a lot people really underestimate Debbie in her chances. I won’t repeat myself, but while she probably is the least likely candidate to win from the female side, I do think that if she makes it to the end with some combo of Caleb/Troy/Brad and the jury is mostly female she can win that and that combo is completely accessible for her, or if she makes it with women who overplayed and there is a lot of pissed off jurors voting for her as the other option. Plus I really could see her giving unexpected, [spoiler]Kristie Benett-type Final Tribal performance, as not being seen as anything in the game, but being able to really articulate her game, no matter if it’s 100% true or not[/spoiler] (spoilers for the Australian Survivor her)

    • Kemper Boyd

      Debbie is insane though Kristie was just boring I find that to be more of a ATGCFFSDT analogy.

      • Maritimer

        I recall Kristie being crazy, just in a less obnoxiously loud way than Debbie

        • Super duper fan

          Put . It’s visible.

          • Maritimer

            it also didn’t help when I misspelled spoiler…

      • Super duper fan

        Eh, I think that Kristie was definetely more kooky than FFGCSDT, as was said by other castaways. Not as crazy as Debbie, but still. Mainly I was trying to say that while she would be seen in the game as not strategic, she definetely could out-talk some people in FTC which convince them to vote for her by sheer shock of that

    • sharculese

      Do we still need to spoiler that shit? A whole season of American Survivor has come and gone since thene. You literally can read how the season went on this website.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        Aren’t we still waiting for the finale recap?

        • sharculese

          My hard drive just died, but once I get it replaced I promisd to rewatch the finale and actually do that.

          Im not blind drunk 24/7 anymore, which should help.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            What? No! Everybody who could possibly be interested already knows how it turned out (but if anybody out there gave up during the post-merge death march, watch the finale, it’s genuinely a great episode of Survivor).

      • Super duper fan

        I know. I just guessed that with the Australian Survivor being more niche, not that many people would have seen it or maybe even heard it, but some people would like to if they knew about it (I can remove them if you want, I wouldn’t mind that much).

        • sharculese

          Its cool if you want to, I just dont think people should have to spoiler tag it at this point.

      • Hornacek

        Don’t spoil who won South Pacific for me!

        • sharculese

          It was Coach.

          • Super duper fan

            Um,SPOILER ALERT!? What now, you’ll spoil the winner of season 35: Dan vs. Will vs. the others?!

          • Hornacek

            Now when he’s among other players and someone says “Who here has won Survivor?” he can raise his hand and say “I have.”

  • Alkanarra

    I remember drafting Debbie and desperately clinging to every shred of decent play she made to make myself feel better about what was an obvious train wreck. Her problem is that she did occasionally do something somewhat clever, and it was enough to mess with my perceptions. Maybe there was more to her than meets the eye and that was her strategy, to hide behind kookiness? Maybe she was just erratic and aggressive and sometimes by coincidence that works? Attempting to be a Debbie fan was a real rainbow of conflicting, illogical emotions. I feel like this article did a good job capturing that struggle.

    • Mike Hirsch

      She even at one point said her strategy was to make them not take her seriously (I think, or something approximating that). It’s not a terrible strategy, but then there has to be a separate side to that or else she’d never stop being a goat.

      • Alkanarra

        Yeah, but how much of that is like Fabio saying “my plan is be a buffoon because I 100% can’t not be a buffoon”? I guess if you know your weaknesses and work around them then it’s a good thing, but that requires Debbie working around them instead of just clomping along like normal.

        Could still make it far, especially if she’s less erratic. Her unpredictability more than anything will probably kill her, which is why your “most likely” is probably dead right.

        • Mike Hirsch

          Yeah, she’s a somewhat reliable vote in the early stages, and then not at all reliable after the merge.

        • BadPlayer91

          Personally, i love the “don’t take me seriously” angle, but yeah, it has such a potential pitfall. You have to play a difficult balancing game of convincing people you aren’t a threat while making moves that a threat would. Then you end up at the end trying to convince people you were the mastermind of everything despite them thinking you weren’t in any way. Then even if you did make all the big moves, you may loose just because of your goofiness.

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        I know some people don’t like it, but I’m not altogether mad at the idea of someone playing for 2nd or 3rd if they know they can’t win – say if a person loves Survivor and wants to go out there for the adventure (and possibly to be so entertaining that they return a few times). Of course, I don’t think Debbie has the self-awareness for that strategy. Or, if she does then she is the best actress Survivor has ever known (idea for a new chyron?)

  • purplerockandy

    Thing I thought of upon seeing Mike’s avatar: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQeXK5Dj21R/?hl=en

    • sharculese

      O/t I realized that your name reads to me as Purple Rock Candy, which I dont think is real drug slang but should be.

    • Mike Hirsch

      I wish I had those moves.

    • “What is ya doin’, Daniel son?” My kids fucking love those videos, especially the one where Daniel son vaults over Great Value J Cole.

  • Roswulf

    Mike, I challenge your Worst Case Scenario. Debbie’s worst case scenario is that she poisons her entire tribe, including herself.

    Her best case scenario is she poisons her entire tribe, EXCEPT for herself.

    • Mike Hirsch

      I’ll allow it.

  • Ms. Sweaterfan

    Excellent write up! I have a soft spot in my heart for Debbie – possibly because my mom’s name is also Debbie and she exhibits similar levels of preposterous self-confidence at times 🙂
    But I totally agree with Mike’s prediction that she will play exactly the same game as Kaoh Rong. As promising a goat as she may be, I still doubt she’ll end up in anyone’s tight endgame alliance and ultimately she will probably end up being an easy consensus vote in the early post-merge that will help stave off a major clash between factions. Or, she might even go pre-merge for the same reason. Personally, I hope she provides a bit of comic relief early on and leaves before her schtick becomes tired. I wouldn’t mind her on the jury again though.

    • Mike Hirsch

      I will say that I enjoyed Debbie more than I thought I would given her first preview video. And yeah, I wouldn’t mind her on the jury again either.

    • Super duper fan

      Yeah, I’m also her fan. I won’t necessarily be rooting for her to win, but I still want her to surpass some others. To be fair, the only people I’m not really excited about are Brad, Ozzy, Caleb, Troy and Fan Favourite Sierra Dawn-Thomas. I really like the other 3/4 of the cast, and while I would like to see some people to win more than others, I’m actually interested in all of them and am excited to see how each of them are gonna fare.

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Agreed – I can’t say I’m rooting for a Debbie win, but if she’s ever on the chopping block and evades the vote, I’m sure I will feel some relief (unless the result is someone I like more going home…)

      • Mike Hirsch

        Despite my overall “eh” about Hali and Sierra, I am at least mildly interested in seeing how they fare when removed from the nastiness of the vast majority of the rest of their original cast. Could either be a Wentworth in disguise? Probably not, but it’s within the realm of possibility!

        • Super duper fan

          I actually think that Hali has enough desire to play a better game, that she could actually pull it off. It kinda reminds me of Parvati in Micronesia when she had a similar kind of a confessional in the first episode. I’m not saying she WILL pull it off, but she has the brains and charm to succeed. Plus she has an underappreciated personality, so I’m hoping we’ll get to see more of that in the new season.

          • Alycia Swift

            Plus wasn’t she out before most of the nastiness?

          • Super duper fan

            Yup, she was probably one of the least involved in any kind of nastiness, even the Nina drama (which did sour me a bit from Jenn, I do like her, but I can’t seperate her from that in my mind).

  • Mike Hirsch

    I should point out that in my initial draft of this, I spent a whole portion of the write-up discussing the Cagayan 4 from Cambodia, and how decent a job they did overall, and how that could weigh on the minds of some of these players and hurt Debbie’s chances. Then I said to myself, “this seems familiar,” and I went back and realized John had said exactly all of that in his Tai write-up, so, that part was then excised.

  • Roswulf

    As a counterpoint, I hate Debbie, I hate the fact she was on the show to begin with, I hate her portrayal as a lovable scatterbrained kook, and I hate that she’s been asked back.

    Debbie’s Survivor character is dominated by this lurking question of “What’s going on with this crazy lady with all the jobs?”

    Except…we know exactly what’s going on. Her life was thrown into chaos after she committed fraud and endangered some of the most vulnerable people in this country (I mean seriously, Hurricane Katrina floodwater tests people) for a quick buck. And to boot, she helped to diminish trust in institutions like the EPA that are under attack right now. Debbie is a shitty person who has made the world a shittier place. Seeing Survivor ignore that in favor of the wacky makes me regret how goddamned addicted I am to this show.

    • gouis

      I kind of like Debbie and don’t really know the full extent or motivations for her violations, but this is some grad A hate. It has more fire than John’s Troy rage. Love it.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      All fair points. I personally tend to separate who the Survivors are IRL from who they are on the screen, but I totally understand that not everybody watches that way and the water scandal is serious enough to be a legitimate deal breaker for people.

      • Roswulf

        I totally understand that- I do want to be clear that I in no way mean to shame or insult (or even really persuade) others to not enjoy Debbie. Especially if they are drafting before me in a fantasy league!

        But, for me, Debbie is actively unpleasant to watch.

    • Alycia Swift

      That whole thing (plus the Brandon Hantz disaster) made me question how good (or not more likely) the vetting process is. How did Survivor casting miss that? Or did they?

      • Maritimer

        I really cannot imagine they missed it for Debbie. I mean, a Google search would turn it up. I think they wanted her so badly they just didn’t care

        • Didn’t Cydney make a joke about it at the reunion?

          • Maritimer

            I don’t remember. I’m not sure I watched the reunion (I was away for the last month of the season and caught up later)

          • I know someone threw it in at the reunion while Debbie was answering a question, but I thought it was Cydney.

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      I hear you. Hell, I think I was the first to call her Water Felon. And if it is what it seems on its face, it’s bad. But the public defender in me has to at least throw out there that there could be a hell of a lot going on that we don’t know about that would make us understand or empathize with what happened (or even not as responsible – there’s a lot that goes into pleading guilty, and grand jury indictments are supppppeeeerrrrr easy to get). Or, she could be terrible and completely guilty and deserving of so much hate. Deserving of the kind of hate that I reserve for Troy. Troy-level is hard to achieve, but falsifying Katrina tests would do it.

      I know you know all of this, but it’s impossible for me not to public defender. It’s the same reason that if she is completely guilty, it will drive me absolutely f*cking insane that she got probation, because that’s some privilege happening there! Ask me what my clients get offered for forged instrument allegations that are not even close to that!

      • purplerockandy

        Is it probation?

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          No. No, it is not.

          Which is probably shocking to no one on this site. I have clients who get offered jail time for hopping a turnstile. (The value of a metro card is $2.75. TOTALLY MAKES SENSE, RIGHT?!). Not that long ago, I had a very young client with no record who was offered jail time for petit larceny, a nonviolent misdemeanor. And that’s why I’m going to have a heart attack at a very young age.

      • You were the first call her Water Felon (I look forward to bringing that nickname back).

    • PurpleTally

      So KR was the last season I watched before I was finally free to read anything I wanted about Survivor without fear of spoilers, so I didn’t really read much about it. I had no idea. *goes off to Google*

      • Whoops…I forgot that bit of gossip

        “Hands over crown”

        • SHAME!

          • To be fair to me, we weren’t watching Kaoh Rong together and she was liking Debbie at that point.

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      Saw her vote for Andrea. I take it all back. You were right. She’s clearly evil.

      • Purplerockmatt

        i didnt want to say it before, but aside from Troy she is the person I am least looking forward to seeing back on my tv screen

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          I didn’t like Coach. I don’t like her either.

          I don’t know if she’s my least favorite next to Troy, but she’s down there.

          • Purplerockmatt

            Coach like Debbie is funny for a time. Then he starts to wear on you. I get why they brought her back, but I think underlying the “wackiness” she is kinda toxic in actuality (her Andrea vote and explanation are why I think this)

          • Much like the water she supposedly tested.

          • EmAndScoutInBK

            It kind of reminds me of Coach’s unwarranted hatred of Erinn Lobdell in his first season. Same toxicity you’re talking about, I think.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I think comic relief characters like Coach, Philip, Judd etc. are fantastic unless they get some actual power in the game.

  • gouis

    Yeah what poor sucker got stuck with Ozzy!

    Oh. 🙁

  • Diego Armando

    I wonder who Matt got? Judging by the other initial 6 picks, I’m guessing he’s not happy with that person.

    • Purplerockmatt

      Let me just say this: we all agreed after the initial picks that I would write mine as the last entry. As we started to add more people to the game we all agreed to save mine for last. Make of that what you will

      • Mike Hirsch

        Game. Changer.

  • Diego Armando

    Debbie was shockingly competent pre-merge.

    • gouis

      I agree. She’s functional Phillip.

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Phunctional Phemale Phillip

      • purplerockandy

        Remember how Phillip got MORE sane after getting a taste of the attention from being on TV once?

        • gouis

          Are you saying Debbie might win

          • purplerockandy

            *Taps nose*

          • gouis

            Andy I don’t know what you think about us gringos, but we aren’t all cokeheads.

          • Speak for yourself.

          • gouis

            OK those of us not in Florida.

          • Hornacek

            Wanner Edit!

        • EmAndScoutInBK

          MORE sane does not equal sane.

      • the sky is falling

        Hey suit yourself if you wanna think Phillip wasn’t functional. You’re the one whose gonna be under surveillance by Stealth R Us.

        Fun fact: Russell Hantz in Samoa only got 1 more FTC vote than Phillip in RI

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      I knowwwwwwwwww. She was actually fairly strategic up until the merge, but that’s where she exploded.

      • Hornacek

        That’s where she went “on offense” and it was all downhill from there. Plus for some inexplicable reason she told Aubry, her longtime alliance member, that she would never vote out Julia, who she had just met.

  • purplerockandy
    • purplerockandy
      • PurpleTally

        But no love for poor Bridget.

        • Who?

          • PurpleTally

            One of the three OG Girls Next Door with Kendra and Holly. She had a show on Travel Channel called Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches, but I don’t know what she’s up to now. Unlike the other two, she’s never written a memoir.

          • She was the older one then, right?

          • PurpleTally

            I think Holly was the oldest, but I can’t remember. I know Kendra was the youngest.

          • She just looked the oldest, right?

          • PurpleTally

            No, you’re right. I was off. Bridget is 6 years older than Holly.

          • I am just going to keep that in mind when we argue about something else.

          • PurpleTally

            To be fair, I was on public school wifi the first time I was responding and couldn’t exactly google Girls Next Door cast members. But I did think Holly was older. I’m so ashamed. I’ve seen every episode (and listened to the audio commentary) of that dang show.

          • That makes sense.

      • sharculese

        Breaking news: Clasy slays trashy.

    • Purplerockmatt

      yeah if i didn’t hate her before, I do now

    • gouis

      Debbie going full villain.

      • Roswulf

        I would be surprisingly OK with that.

        “Last time I was the kooky aunt. Enough of that act. I risked poisoning children for 70K a year, (and flipped on my boss so fast I got away with probation). Y’all have no idea what I’ll do for a million. If Tony wants to pull some clever game shit and sets up a spy shack in a tree, I’m lighting that tree on FIRE.”

        Not saying I’d root for that version of Debbie, but I wouldn’t object to Survivor bringing her back.

        • Purplerockmatt

          that would honestly be amazing

          • the sky is falling

            Tony will obviously have an ACME water bucket set up above the spy shack that would douse the fire, and then she would step on the cartoon springs set up next to it.
            But she is welcome to try.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Has anybody completely flipped their persona in a return season? I mean, Stephanie but that was unintentional, and Cochran but that was really just him becoming the best version of him.

          • Super duper fan

            Tasha kinda wanted to play more like a villain in Second Chances, and she managed to change the perception of her, but not in the way she wanted to.

            And of course Parvati and Wentworth didn’t want to be seen as worthless players, but it was more in becoming the best version of themselves than changing a persona.

            James is also someone who like Stephenie changed their persona unintentionally.

          • Purplerockmatt

            Coach went from fool to island cult leader

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I always thought he was the same fool as before, he just stumbled into becoming an island cult leader, like an episode of Gilligan’s Island.

          • Black Dynamite

            I would say Steph was basically the same but just in a different position.

      • Oh come on, if she is going full villain, she would have targeted Tai.

        On that note, has anyone from KR targeted someone from that season with this vote?

    • gouis

      Also she’s lookin REAL Gollum-y here.

    • Maritimer

      Has she ever seen Andrea play? Does she have any idea who she is? There are other targets who would make more sense for such a slight

      • Roswulf

        Look, this is Debbie. If, she can tell if water is potable on sight. she can tell that Andrea is worthless as anything but eye candy on sight.

      • sharculese

        No and no.

        • Maritimer

          Was Debbie a recruit? Up until this picture, I always assumed she was a fan and applied

          • sharculese

            According to Inside Survivor shed been applying since 2010. So, like most rhings involving Debbie, the answer is probably that shes a self-involved idiot.

    • Mike Hirsch

      Andrea?! She’s dead to me. Deadbie.

    • BadPlayer91

      Wait, can we have a season that IS both survivor and a playboy shoot? like, Survivor: Playboy Islands. aka, Brain vs. Beauty vs. Brawn minus Brain & Brawn. And then it’s just like, model’s gone wild? All the drama of a season of America’s Next Top Model combined with the glory of survivor?

      And then we follow it up with the more preferable Survivor: Playgirl Island. aka, Brokeback Survivor? Just a gaggle of male model’s prancing around, competing in challenges and then drying in the sun?

      BUT LIKE FOR REAL?

      • PurpleTally

        As someone who is a devoted fan of Survivor, America’s Next Top Model, and Girls Next Door, I am all in for this idea.

        • BadPlayer91

          and Hugh could be co-host with Jeff? And there are just, like, small segments of Hugh trying to acclimate Jeff to his lifestyle? IT WOULD BE SO CHARMING!

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        MILF Island, just sayin….

        • BadPlayer91

          “25 Super-Hot Moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules”

        • sharculese

          As someone who can and has ranked every 30.Rock TV parody, MILF Island comes in sadly low on the list.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            We no longer want to tap that.

          • sharculese

            IS A GREAT LINE!

            Unfotunately, its also the whole, which is why it loses out to thongs like Sports Shouting, Live Show #2, and of courae Queen of Jordan. (Queen of Jordan is number 1).

          • Roswulf

            I’m a simple man who will argue for Celebrity Homonym.

            It’s the other one.

          • sharculese

            God Cop/Homynym/Tank It get lumped together in my rankings since theyre all part of the same joke, but I can accept arguments for splitting them up.

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Counter-proposal: combine playboy and playgirl themes so there’s something for everyone. “Survivor Tahiti: Morgans vs. Jeremiahs”
        The level of strategy would be…transcendent

      • Hornacek

        “Wait, can we have a season that IS both survivor and a playboy shoot?”

        One World?

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      Boooooo! Andrea is beautiful but she’s also not half bad at the game. It’s not like she’s Morgan or something…

      • Or Anna, who basically might as well been auditioning for a Playboy centerfold with some of her confessionals.

    • EmAndScoutInBK
    • EmAndScoutInBK
      • Mike Hirsch

        As a fellow Buffy fan, well-played.

      • gouis

        Perfect.

      • Violina23

        You like Buffy too? We need to hang out. And maybe put on the Neverending Story and have a good cry

    • EmAndScoutInBK

      Forget everything I said above, SHE’S EVIL.

      • Purplerockmatt

        glad you are on my side on this one

    • Damn Debbie

    • SpicyMayoJaySimpson

      I don’t understand this too because I’m almost positive that Debbie has done a lot more nude or semi-nude shoots than Andrea given her multihyphenate history. It seems to be almost entirely based on the fact that Andrea puts on makeup (*GASP*) at Ponderosa. It also bugs me that all of the returnees in recent seasons seems to not have watched any other seasons. There have been so many “I only saw part of …”s in the preseason press. I am also almost positive that Debbie has seen no more than three seasons aside from hers.

      • TheForRealDeal

        I’m sure most of you have seen this, but:

        https://twitter.com/idolhoh/status/834509972604125189/photo/1

      • BadPlayer91

        It seems negligent to me that people go into survivor not having watched previous seasons. I mean, it makes a little more sense for non-returnees seasons, but like, if you are about to get on an island with 19 people you want to beat, why would you choose not to be as informed as possible?

        In tennis, players are always watching old tapes of matches with their upcoming opponent and determining their strengths and weaknesses. Hell, Serena Williams brought handwritten notes on court with her to remind her of what she needed to do to beat her opponents at the Australian Open this year.

        For example, if Debbie hasn’t watched Cagayan, than she’s basically giving Tony a “Get out of Tribal Free” card….

    • Super duper fan
    • Hornacek

      History’s greatest monster etc.

  • Black Dynamite

    I don’t have much to say here except fuck Debbie. I’m rooting for her to be the first boot (yes, even more than Troy).

    My Prediction: Pre Merge Boot

    Previous Predictions

    Pre Merge Boots
    Caleb
    Tai
    Sandra

    Post Merge Boots
    Varner
    Cirie
    Troy
    Sarah
    Ozzy

    Final Boot
    Malcolm

    Finalists
    Zeke

    Winner
    Andrea

    • Purplerockmatt

      I love your insane confidence that you are predicting where everyone finishes. It is great

      • BadPlayer91

        He’s gonna jinx everything and then Andrea will be the first boot. Either that or Malcolm…

        • Black Dynamite

          Oh God, that would be devastating.

          • BadPlayer91

            I mean, if the PRP Fantasy League Kiss of Death reigns true, then we are gonna loose someone big in the first 2 or 3 boots, between Malcolm, Andrea, Aubry, or Michaela.

      • gouis

        We (he) should figure out a scoring system so we can keep track how far off base he is.

        • Black Dynamite

          Well, I only have 7 Pre Merge Boots so I’m probably not even right about that.

          • Alkanarra

            I could see an early merge. Re-arrange the tribes each episode for max chaos and then throw the various alliances into a big, jumbled mess. If they make it so that there is no minority alliance due to various conflicts then it might help prevent a boring stretch of “vote off the other alliance” episodes.

          • Mike Hirsch

            Feels about right to me. With returning players they seem to like a larger merge/jury.

          • Black Dynamite

            I based that number of the fact that the last two twenty person seasons had the merge at 13. Seems logical but since I’m predicting it now, it’s probably not going to happen.

          • pufflehuff

            Or the jury is formed as soon as Varner is eliminated because even Jeff Probst has a heart somewhere?

      • Violina23

        I still want to read a post that breaks down how Black Dynamite envisions the boot orders playing out. Just for fun. 😎

  • Max_Jets

    I find Debbie 1.0 so delightful every time she is on screen, but I haven’t really liked her outside of the game. I’m guessing the editors are given so much to work with that it’s easy to give whatever edit they want, but I think she should have just been left as unique to Kaoh Rong.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I think you’re on to something here. Kaoh Rong Debbie = delightful (to some of us); IRL Debbie = generally kind of yucky. She’s such a character that I’m sure they were itching to get her back, but I really don’t see Debbie 2.0 meeting or exceeding her appeal from Kaoh Rong. I do think she’s probably the likeliest candidate to have Coach-like levels of buy in for the game changers theme, so that will hopefully be amusing at least 🙂

  • pufflehuff

    I think what I find most disappointing about Debbie returning is that there are other er, Game Changers, in that demographic who I’d rather see return and see what they have to offer a second time (Trish or Micronesia Tracey or even Carolyn) where as I agree that Debbie likely won’t bring much different, except it seems, some Andrea-shade.

    I’m probably alone here but I’d much rather see Kimmi return and actually get an edit and have some proper rivalry with Varner.

    • Alkanarra

      They don’t like giving good edits to people who get eliminated in non-standard ways; I think they’re afraid fans will complain about the result being random and get angry if they liked the player, but if the player was under-edited then they won’t care as much. (Jess this season and Katie in BvW come to mind.) But yeah, Kimmi seemed like a bigger part of that season than let on.

      And Trish 100% has to come back, but I’d rather see her not with anyone from her season, so I’m fine with her being kept away from Tony.

      • pufflehuff

        Yeah, I think you’re right about the elimination method and it probably didn’t help that she wasn’t a Bayon Bro either. It’s just a shame as Kimmi is a fun character and I think she can bring some of what Debbie does (lively confessionals + playing the game, albeit not always with perfect execution.)

        It might have been interesting to see Trish v. Sarah round II (if anything about Sarah could be interesting) but prob best for Trish to come back without Tony.

    • Mike Hirsch

      There are numerous players that were apparently in the running that I’d have preferred over Debbie. Natalie Bolton, for one.

      • pufflehuff

        Yes! Would have loved to see Natalie Bolton return and then there would have been 4 queer people on the season, which would have been even more exiting.

        Tbh though the list of things/people I’d rather see return than Debbie, Troy, and Brad includes the medallion of power, that tribute montage thing, and Fan Favourite Sierra Dawn Thomas.

        • I don’t know that it was ever confirmed that Natalie is queer. It could just be that she’s attracted to Parvati. I mean, have you seen Parvati?

          • Purplerockmatt

            its like how Em is gay with a Ken exception

          • Exactly. Ken exists outside the normal Kinsey scales.

          • pufflehuff

            ha, fair point. I think on the show at least her tribal question presents her as a queer figure. And she would also be such an interesting returnee beyond that, especially with Cirie in the mix.

          • I know, I mostly just wanted to make an easy “Parvati is hot” joke. I don’t know if you were lurking last season, but we were pretty regularly referencing how handsome Ken is.

          • pufflehuff

            yes, I did see some of that here and it was prob more interesting than Ken’s actual story on the show – impeccable planting for a Ken joke…

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I’ll go there: Parvati has never done it for me.

          • Maritimer

            Didn’t she identify as bi in her bio or an interview?

          • I don’t believe so, but if you can find evidence of it somewhere that would be appreciated. The most I’ve ever seen is people on the Wiki saying it must be true because she flirted with Parv with her FTC question.

          • Hornacek

            There’s nothing in her wiki entry about whether she is or not, but if you click on the LGBT Contestants link on the wiki she is in that list.

            Wait, Bill Posley is gay?

          • Right, and she’s in that link in the Wiki seemingly because of her FTC question. I’ve found nothing else to give any indication. I’m not saying she is or she isn’t, just that I’ve never seen anything from her that says either way.

          • Black Dynamite

            There is a such a wide gap between male and female LGBT contestants. I knew that already but looking at list on Wiki really drives home the difference. I wish there was more a representation of queer women on this show.

          • Maritimer

            Not only is there such a discrepancy, they often make it part of the men’s story but not the women’s

          • Hornacek

            Exactly. I had no idea Shambo was gay.

          • Maritimer

            He came out recently as bi in one of his youtube videos I believe

          • Hornacek

            Now I choose to believe it was a spurned advance that caused Colton to target Bill instead of learned racism.

          • Maritimer

            I evidently made that up. I don’t know why I was so sure of that in my mind, but there is an article from post-game which notes that nothing had been said about her sexuality (http://www.afterellen.com/tv/31943-survivor-finale-packs-a-punch-and-a-surprise-lesbian)

          • Yeah, that’s just more people speculating because she liked Parv flirting with her.

    • I would be okay with Kimmi coming back because she did lead to one of the craziest tribals ever.

      • pufflehuff

        exactly, game changing or what!? I’m starting the internet campaign for Kimmi’s return now, that seems to have worked well for other players…

    • gouis

      There is 0 chance production would take Trish, Tracey, or Carolyn (who?) over Debbie.

      • Yeah, she’s female Coach which means that they would bring her back as soon as they could (Remember they wanted SoPa to be Phillip vs. Coach).

        • pufflehuff

          I just hope that Sandra is responsible for the downfall of Debbie 2.0 too.

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Yeah, it’s not like they want a competent older woman who could actually win. Yuck! 😉

  • Hornacek

    For all of Debbie’s faults (in and out of the game) I have to tip my hat to her for making fun of Michele, after she single-handedly lost the reward challenge for her tribe, by saying that she was going off to kill herself.