Survivor Fan Friction – Lillian Morris

We’ve probably kept Fan Friction, our series of essays where one of our columnists writes an ode to one of their favorite Survivor players while defending them against any potential naysayers (both real and imagined), going this long just to see if we could will this post into being. Sad Lil did not disappoint.

Why I’m Great

Hey Purple Rock Gang. It’s me Lillian Morris. And I’m here to defend myself against the slings and arrows I always hear from you so called “super-fans”. Y’all internet folk love to complain about r.obbed g.oddesses (kids these days have no sense of grammar) but I’m the original OG if that’s about not getting deserved respect (which I think it is?). I see lots of Dawn Meehan kudos (rightfully so) but what about Lil! Why aren’t I invited to the g.oddess party? I think it’s a gosh darn shame.

I controlled the game after the merger. Like Sandra I stayed in the shadows when I had to, but unlike Sandra I took control when I needed to. I was the first person to play swing vote all the way to the finals, and lost to that foul mouthed Sandra for no good reason. I’m also an excellent sailor and can tie 47 different knots.

Haters Gonna Hate

Coattail Rider

Is that so! Well who took out Burton when she had the chance? And if you guessed Sandra you’re just being what they call these days “outcome oriented”. I bet you use wins to judge pitchers in baseball too and are a Cardinals fan. I controlled my own destiny unlike that leech that you all heap so much praise upon.

Outcasts twists was unfair

Oh really? Then I guess BOSTON ROB shouldn’t be considered a winner then huh! I was the first person to come back into Survivor after getting voted out, and the only one to make the finals after getting voted out. I always hear “Ohhh if Ozzy made it back in his season he would have won”. Well I did what even the great Ozzy could not!

I’ve also heard this malarkey about “oh she was just voted back because she was annoying.” Poppycock. Who is this from I wonder? Might it be that snake Jon Dalton? Thought so. I was voted back in because people like Ryan (that’s regular Ryan to you thank you very much) respected me as a player.

She’s weak

Well nuh uh. Who won the final immunity challenge? That’s right, Eaglescout Lillian Morris! I did what people like Rob Cesternino (BTW I’ve heard those terrible impressions and I would appreciate it if you told him and Mr. Josh how peeved I am about them) could not.

And I hear those complains about my crying. I am a real person with real emotions thank you very much. And I don’t see you taking shots at Jeremy (P.S. mama likey) even though he sobbed throughout his game. And I lost count of how many time REDDIT SUPERFAN ADAM KLEIN cried. But I guess it’s OK for men to cry but when strong women do it’s weakness.

She was a fraud

This hurts me to the core. The same people who hold up Andrew Savage as a shining beacon of strength choose to denigrate me for standing up for my principles! That guy was a J. E. R. K. jerk! “Oh but he’s so loyal” you say! I saw how he treated Mr. Stephen and he showed his true colors there. He is a just a self aggrandizing coastal snob. I am and will always be a true scout. And it’s not my fault they made me wear it anyway.

Embrace Debate

I don’t know what this section is about. Am I supposed to debate myself? I will not. Anyway y’all are jerks and Ryan (THAT’S HIS FULL NAME) had it right. DIE JERKS.

Sad Lil

Sad Lil

Big Lil lives just north of Cincnatti and has two wonderful children, Cyalton and Megan. Having recently turned 65 she was able to retire and thus spend more time as a scoutmaster. Gooooo troop 617!!

Favorite Seasons: None.Probst is a meany.
Favorite Players: Dawn, Tina, Scout and Twila
Sad Lil

Latest posts by Sad Lil (see all)

  • Sad Lil

    Alright, whatcha got?

    • Sad Lil

      Also you spelled my son’s name wrong! It’s Clayton!

      • Sad Lil

        Or maybe I spelled it wrong? The internet is confusing.

  • Other Scott

    This is a surprisingly good defense of Lil Morris. I was fully expecting this to be 100% a troll post but all the points made here are pretty decent.

    • Sad Lil

      Yeah I’m great that’s why.

    • Hornacek

      Adam did cry a lot.

  • Purple Rock Emma

    “Merger” is when this became art.

  • Purple Rock Emma

    “I bet you use wins to judge pitchers in baseball too and are a Cardinals fan.”

    I’M SCREAMING.

    • Sad Lil

      GO REDS!

      • forever1267

        Okay, now you’ve gone too far!!!

    • Diego Armando

      Let’s commiserate. The Tigers have gone into rebuilding mode. What happened with the Giants? Age, management changes and pitching doomed us.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        If it makes you feel better, only good things can come from the Tigers’ rebuild. I mean, once Cleveland’s window closes, the Central will be Chicago’s for the taking.

      • sharculese

        My city doeesn’t even have a basebsall team anymore.

      • Harvey Dent

        some of us Tigers fans got emotional watching Justin Verlander take the mound for the Astros last night though

        • Purple Rock Emma

          I don’t blame you. Oddly enough, I was discussing how meaningless pitching wins are, so I looked up Lincecum’s Cy Young years to prove my point and his Baseball Reference is him in an Angels uniform and I got sad. And he’s not even playing anymore! Which also makes me sad.

          • Harvey Dent

            I feel like even Lincecum wants people to forget about those years. Also, agreed on useless pitcher win stats (Felix Hernandez is probably the best example of a Cy Young winner being the prototype for this)

        • Diego Armando

          I miss having him, but if we need to rebuild we needed to free up some income. I hope he does well.

      • Purple Rock Emma

        On top of everything, Buster Posey got hurt last night and he was the one guy who had been doing pretty well. Currently using my energy hoping the Dodgers will choke in the playoffs again.

        • Diego Armando

          I am pulling for the Astros. I usually like to root for the team without a win, and Houston could really use this.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            And if Stanton can carry Miami to the WC, a Houston/Miami matchup would be something.

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          This current slump is a blessing in disguise for the Dodgers/terrible for baseball fans who aren’t monsters. Take it from someone who saw it first hand: the 1988 A’s were an all-time juggernaut, and the [REDACTED] game in the World Series was literally the first adversity they experienced all season. Having to take a punch now only helps the Dodgers.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Oh I’m not reading anything into the losing streak. Again, focusing the energy specifically on the playoffs. They could be the 2001 Mariners! Or the 2002 A’s! There’s plenty of time for them to fail.

        • Taako From Teevhii

          Fair chance of that. Kershaw is shit in the playoffs. It is known.

    • TheForRealDeal

      I wouldn’t have pegged Lil as a SABR proponent, but the burn is legitimate.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        You think she doesn’t know about launch angles? Lil knows about launch angles. Now that WAR business, that’s a bit much.

        • TheForRealDeal

          I’m sure she takes to heart whatever that nice man Joey Votto says.

          • Diego Armando

            I saw Votto in a game against the Pirates last year. He was either 3 for 4 or 4 for 5 that game. If it wasn’t for his yearly injuries, he would be in consideration for best current player.

    • I don’t know who around here would like the Cardinals.

      • Sad Lil

        Probably that dolt Rupert.

      • prettyboyprobst

        John McCain is a WAR HERO!

        • Purple Rock Emma

          Wrong sport, buddy.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Wrong sport, but righteous anger.

        • I am confused.

          • sharculese

            Football

          • Boo football!

          • prettyboyprobst

            As you should be.
            Polls suggest that this is the best answer whenever McCain or the
            state he represents comes under attack (at least that’s what I am purporting here), but
            Emma had it right: I only know of one Cardinals team and upon further review, they don’t play baseball.

          • GET OUT!

          • prettyboyprobst
      • forever1267

        St. Louis Born and Raised, Can I get an “Amen”?!?!?

  • Brian Gold

    Sorry, Sad Lil, but I stand by my take that Lil is the worst Survivor player of all time.

    • Sad Lil

      Well I never.

    • Sad Lil

      You will not a get a Lil like so boo on you.

    • Diego Armando

      There are far worse Survivor players. Off the top of my head: Drewchebag, Dan Foley, Shamar, Crystal, Nina (Worlds Apart), J’Tia, Chet, John Rocker, Shannon, Alpha Douchebag from One World, Colton, Brandon Hantz, etc.

  • Maritimer

    Oh my God, this is is amazing. Lil, you should feel no shame that you lost to the Queen. Losing to the best makes you second best right?

  • Sad Lil

    Also all my thoughts and prayers for PurpleJohn and any other Purple Rock crew that are in the path of Irma. You have a place in Cincy if you need it!

  • Taako From Teevhii

    I’m absolutely here for this post and also for Lil liking every one of her own comments.

    • Alkanarra

      And every one of those comments deserves those likes.

  • Saturday Night Palsy

    This is hilarious.

    • Sad Lil

      Excuse me?

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        I mean who could possibly disagree with any of these facts?

        • Hornacek

          Nice save.

          • sharculese

            O/T: AV Club started getting around to porting the comments from Survivor recaps and my feed today was 80% old replies from you.

          • Hornacek

            I am a drain on your update feed in the present and the past!

  • I don’t know if this is for real because I’m still pretty new here, but either way this is amazing.

    I’m sorry but Lill’s win in that final immunity challenge is legit still one of my favorite Survivor moments ever.

    God love Pearl Islands, the perfect season of Old School Survivor.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      What do you mean “if this is for real?”I don’t follow the implication.

    • Hornacek

      No season with the Outcasts twist can be called “perfect”. But it’s pretty damn close.

      • The cast transcends the twist. But I hear you. It really sucks that season has that huge red mark on it because it was so good.

        • Hornacek

          The fact that one of the Outcasts makes it to the finals knocks it down even more than just the Outcasts twist itself. Like if on one of the redemption islands seasons someone who had been voted out, gone to RI, and came back had won the game. You can’t tell me online fans wouldn’t be marking that win with an asterisk.

          • But she didn’t win. She was a goat, it just so happened that her goat-hood originated from being an Outcast (though maybe for some other reasons as well). The second she and Burton came back they had no shot at winning (so I guess you could say the second they got voted out really). It was a smart move to carry an Outcast to the end as your goat, especially when that Outcast was Lill.

            Now imagine if Burton had somehow made it and he and Lill were the Final 2. At that point I’d give you the asterisk. Though even then I’d say shame on the rest of the cast for letting it happen (which they didn’t)

          • Hornacek

            I know she was a goat and had no chance against Sandra *or* Fairplay. But the fact that she made it to the final two and took a spot away from someone who hadn’t been voted out of the game weeks previously is the point. Theoretically, with that twist one of the Outcasts could have won the game, which I suspect would have had the viewers crying foul.

            Without the Outcasts, we may have had a Sandra/Fairplay FTC which would have been much better than hearing “I wish I’d never worn this uniform!”

          • Agreed Sandra/Fairplay would have been a better FTC .

            I totally get the hate for PI when it comes to the Outcasts twist. The fact that Lill walked away with $100K after being voted out so early in the game is definitely unfair. I just like that they tried something like this to shake things up and I think the cast took it and rolled with it pretty well and made an entertaining season out of it regardless. A lesser cast would have collapsed. Hell, another cast may have instantly voted the two Outcasts out and rendered the whole thing pointless. Above all else though, I like that after it was done they realized how not cool it was and never did it again.

          • Hornacek

            “after it was done they realized how not cool it was and never did it again.” Until they retooled it and brought it back as redemption island 12 seasons later. And again. And again. And …

            Agree to disagree I guess. This twist could have been done with a stronger or lesser cast and it still would have been awful. Whenever I think of Pearl Islands I start to say “Yeah, that was one of the best seasons …” then I remember “Oh yeah, the Outcasts. Man that twist sucked.”

          • I know this is going to sound hypocritical but I kind of hated RI. My whole thing was Outcasts was cool once but we all realized it was game breaking after that, so it didn’t need to be done ever again. At least they KNEW it was happening at that point but even then it never sat right with me. The only time I enjoyed it was during BvW and even then it was more because it lead to some interesting interactions and strategic decisions and not for the actual “returning to the game” mechanic. I wish they could find a way to have some similar one on one battles with strategic consequences where the tribes get invested and some additional back and forth occurs, but now I’m digressing.

            Yeah agree to disagree is the answer here, I know I’m not convincing you and vice versa. I’m a PI die hard but I totally get why you and others feel that way. Gimmicks, man…

          • Hornacek

            Don’t get me wrong, I love P.I., and without the Outcasts twist it would be a top five season. But that twist is so bad (like the haves/have not’s twist in Fiji) that just screams “Production interference!” that it knocks it down the list for me.

            It’s also one of the first times where the show tips their hand to let the audience know that “We know what’s best for the show and you’ll like it.” I’m sure they thought that the Outcasts twist would go over great. Same with R.I.

            One of the most recent example is the Tyler Perry Idol in Cagayan – Jeff repeatedly said that the negative reaction by the viewers was because of who found it (Tony, who already had a stranglehold on that season), and that if fan-favorite underdog Spencer had found it, we all would have loved it. And we responded “No, that type of idol is too overpowered – we’d hate it no matter who found it.”

            The show is usually right about how to improve the show, and sometimes when they’re wrong they’ll admit it and move on (Medallion of Power), but those few times when they’re wrong and they think they’re right and we’re wrong, they will lecture us about how we’re wrong (“Viewers hated the Outcasts because it was a surprise to the viewers and players. But with R.I. everyone will know about it before hand, so you’ll love it!”).

          • I do hate when the show tries to tell us what we should and shouldn’t like or what is and isn’t good. I just read an article earlier today where Probst was doubling down on Advantage-geddon and it just made me want to scream.

          • Maritimer

            Infuriated. He basically said exactly what @hornacek:disqus is saying he does – we only hate it because it took out Cirie, but actually it was really cool. To which I disagree. The mechanism should not exist in the game to result in a default boot

          • Hornacek

            The worst part about that “default boot” was that none of the votes cast were for Cirie. I would have felt better (well, a little bit better) if the majority of the votes had been for her so that even without Advantage-geddon, she still would have been voted out.

            No, the hell with that. Cirie was on her way to win! If not for Advantage-geddon, Officer Sarah would have been voted out at that vote. Cirie cruises to the win and redeems the entire season!

          • Maritimer

            I know. She pulled off another masterful 3-2-1 in which she was totally safe, and got her a final 3 she could win against. Then that happened. I was so mad at the time and am getting worked up all over again

          • Hornacek

            And it was the only vote (since the merge?) where Sarah was vulnerable and could have been voted out, and wasn’t in control of the vote at all.

          • BadPlayer91

            Had Cirie made it past that, and managed to get to a final 3, the season would have looked 1,000% different. Like, the edit would be SO different and pro-Cirie and wouldn’t be smashed full of Sarah and Brad shit. It may not be a great season, but i’d argue that a Cirie win would have resulted in a far more satisfying edit across the entirety of Game Changers.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            We should clarify what he actually said, which was that Advantageddon was the best part of the season (which is demonstrably false because of the Sugar Bowl, but you can’t expect Probst to know these things). The priorities are way out of whack here. And to boot, it sounds like production isn’t letting up on the twists because they’re chasing that high of a No Votes situations and are now trying to manufacture it. One small tweak in the format? Fine, maybe. But it’s gotten to the point of excessively piling on. Probst says every finale that they keep making the show for the fans, but does any part of the fanbase actually like the over-twist-ification that’s happening?

          • Maritimer

            Wasn’t even close to the best thing, since it got rid of Cirie. Probst seems to thing that advantage-laden/blindside-y tribals are automatically amazing, regardless of how they get there or the outcome. I think they’re definitely pushing for that again given the first tribal twist for Triple H . I’d rather see the organic blindside of the 3-2-1 or the Tocantins flips, or even the classic idol play, such as Savage

          • indescribable hat

            Yeah but production can’t orchestrate the really spectacular stuff, and they’d rather orchestrate lesser spectacles than just wait around and cross their fingers.

          • Maritimer

            Right. Which is why they need to stop trying to orchestrate the really spectacular stuff. Jeff keeps saying he wants to give the players room to play, but not so much with the follow through on that

          • Maritimer

            I think Jeff confuses “would like it” with “would hate its result somewhat less”. See also, the double tribal from last season. Would the complaining have been less loud if it had been Sierra instead of Malcolm? For sure. But that doesn’t mean we would have liked it. Similar for the TP idol. I think the reaction would have been (among the Spencer fan side anyways) “yeah its kind of a bullshit twist, but at least it saved Spencer.” I feel like they thought similarly on Outcasts – if it brought back a Hunter (or a Burton) it might be better received

          • Yeah this was going to be what I said. Don’t confuse our anger at Cirie being eliminated with our anger at the situation with it. It’s two separate things. The joy of this show for me (and many others) is the social game and the interactions that the social game forces some people to make. More idols and advantages takes a lot of that away. I don’t want them to get rid of idols and advantages completely because sometimes they influence the social game in a positive and interesting way, but they need to make a change. Have less, limit their power or something.

            Expirations on Idols would be great. “This idol needs to be used by X tribal council” would be great for a lot of reasons. First it keeps people from sitting on them forever like Tai and Troy did. Second because those idols have to get played we get more situations where new idols are hidden, which causes the kind of searching/scrambling that production and many fans love. Third maybe someone digs up an idol that’s already expired – boom, instant “fake idol that looks real” situation that could be played in some interesting/unique/new ways.

          • Hornacek, quick question, and this is by no means an attempt to judge, just wanted to test a hypothesis: Did you see PI when it aired or did you watch it after the fact?

          • Hornacek

            HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME!!!

            Just kidding. I’ve seen every season when it aired except for the first one, which I didn’t see until years later. PI is one of the few seasons I own on DVD so I’ve seen it 2-3 times after it aired (gotta listen to those DVD commentaries), so that may be why I remember it better than other seasons.

            Hmm, which seasons have I watched more than once?
            Borneo
            Amazon
            Pearl Islands
            All-Stars
            Palau
            Gabon
            Nicaragua
            Philippines

            Don’t judge my tastes by this list. They were either DVDs given to me by family members who were purging their belongings, or re-watches by this site.

          • hahahahaha fear my internet judginess!

            Got it. I was wondering if you were a newer fan who went back. I was hardcore fan for years (watched seasons 2-10 as aired) and then back and forth for a LONG time before my current streak of WA to the present. I’ve actually never rewatched so my impressions of the older seasons are far from fresh…

          • indescribable hat

            In point of fact, we were all bitching about TPPTPICDIABMI when it was announced in the preseason.

          • Hornacek

            Did you sneeze when you were typing that comment?

          • indescribable hat

            And RI isn’t even as bad because it’s a known part of the game.

          • Hornacek

            Still, the fact that Ozzy almost won South Pacific when he spent more-than half (?) of his time on RI would have been awful.

      • sharculese

        There’s another mechanical problem with Pearl Islands that gets talked about less, probably because it played out so well on the show: it’s kind of bullshit that they set them loose to barter in a Panamanian village when one tribe had a player who spoke Spanish and the other didn’t.

        • purplerockandy

          Ehn. It’s about as unfair as having challenges when one tribe has Tom Westman and the other doesn’t.

          • sharculese

            Tell that to the Heroes…

            But seriously, Tom being such a dominant force is not predictable in the way ‘one tribe has someone who can act as negotiator, the other doesn’t’ is.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            In principle I agree with you, but in practice, … I mean, there’s not much communicative value lost when you go from bartering in Spanish to just holding up four pairs of shoes and pointing at two bags of rice. The message gets across either way. You’re pretty much only trading with what you’ve got on you.

          • sharculese

            Iirc they gave them Panamanian money. Thd Morgans just chose to barter instead because they were dinguses .

          • purplerockandy

            Yeah, plus… what’s the show supposed to do? Cast TWO Hispanics? Crazy.

          • Other Scott

            Remember that this was a pickem, and Tom was not the first male pick

          • Sad Lil

            Hubba hubba

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          Drake was doubly advantaged: they had a Spanish speaker and someone who was liked… in a sexual way.

          • sharculese

            But on the other hand – so many wimpy little non-leaders.

  • Assistant Dragon Slayer

    OK, be honest. You just read this post in Rob and/or Josh’s Lil voice.

    • Sad Lil

      Rude.

  • Adam B.

    I will always love Lil’s sassing during the final immunity challenge, but feel negatively towards her, almost as equally, for her inability to own and defend her strategic decisions and instead act guilty for playing Survivor as the game of Survivor.

    • Sad Lil

      >:-(

  • Alkanarra

    So discussion time: let’s say Lil takes Fairplay instead and wins. Where does she rank on the list of winners? To me still pretty low, but I’d put her above Bob, Fabio, and Mike at least, Outcast twist or not. And probably borderline with a few others.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      Overcomplicating this, but the calculus of ranking becomes so much messier if Lil takes Fairplay and wins. Because then Sandra doesn’t have her first win, and then it could be argued that she’s on the bubble to be brought back for HvV. If she’s not there, it’s possible the dynamic of the Villains tribe is altered, and there’s no BRob v. Russell and no Redemption Island. Then the whole post-20 era is off, because you’re disrupting Rob’s, Sophie’s, and possibly Tyson’s wins.

      But anyway, definitely above Bob.

      • Alkanarra

        Oh right. Sandra.

        Let’s just pretend she makes HvV anyway and wins like normal. Hurts her legacy certainly and maybe even has people putting a PI victorious Lil over her HvV win, at least until Game Changers when she makes those people look stupid for doubting her.

        • Other Scott

          The best part about Game Changers is that everyone got to realize that Sandra is actually really really good.

      • Maritimer

        Who goes to HvV instead of Sandra? They need another female winner as a Villain. Can’t be Tina, wouldn’t be Vecepia. I believe Jenna turned it down. Don’t know about Danni. Does that make it Lil in this butterfly effect scenario? That would be something.

        • sharculese

          Move Stephenie to the Villains and add Tina to the Heroes.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I like this solution, but I like @disqus_sjBnbSyo83:disqus’s idea of putting Lil on the Villains. Not sure that it’d be justified based on what her edit would be in PI, but it’d just be so amazing to watch. Her likely indignation at being cast as a villain, her going head to head with Russell and Randy, it’s all good stuff. Though she’s also the likely first boot.

          • sharculese

            Lil is, realistically a strength upgrade over Sandra, and I’m not sure she’s the first boot. During Worlds Apart Rob had Sandra and Tyson on back to back right around the time he was rewatching HvV, so of course he asked them both about the Randy vote and it’s interesting how their answers differed. Sandra said it was because he was physically lame, like he hurt his leg and couldn’t contribute. Tyson said he just complained all the time and bummed everyone out. Either way, I think it’s still Randy first.

          • Maritimer

            Lil and Coach together

          • Maritimer

            I like this, but I’m not sure it meets the shows narrative on Stephenie. Also, it makes the winner balance uneven tribe-wise now

          • indescribable hat

            And it certainly doesn’t meet the show’s narrative on Guatemala, i.e. what are you talking about you must have imagined that season.

        • purplerockandy

          Corinne.

          • Maritimer

            Still the winner imbalance problem that maybe only I care about but the show doesn’t. Corinne as a Villain, Tina as a Hero and cut Sugar I could see. The dearth of early female winners is pretty apparent trying this thought exercise

          • sharculese

            Yeah, I don’t think the show cared about his winner balance thing. Remember, Parvati was gonna be a Hero until her potential tribemates complained that she had too many friends on that side.

          • Maritimer

            Probably true. For some reason I have it in my head that they did, but I think that’s just because it was the initial GC plan. Also, how did anyone think putting basically the entire BWB on one tribe would be a good idea?

          • sharculese

            I don’t think Cirie had any real interest in working with the two of them, and supposedly Parvati and Amanda had a falling out sometime in the previous 2 years, so it’s possible they looked at the situation and figured it wouldn’t be a problem.

          • Maritimer

            Makes sense. But even if not an actual problem, I still think it would be an optics problem. I totally get the other heroes objecting.

          • indescribable hat

            Cirie and Amanda at least had a decent working relationship though, and maybe with Parvati on the Heroes tribe the Parvati-Candace connection actually matters. She would have a bunch of people whose tells she might know at minimum.

          • Hornacek

            GC plan? What does GC from Gabon have to do with this?

          • indescribable hat

            Survivor’s 3rd best Natalie and 2nd best Alexis are very hurt by that statement.

          • purplerockandy

            Corinne would be a villain; Randy would be replaced by Shane.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I like this thought experiment! I think that her edit would probably be a lot more heroic in that case, and the jury probably would have been quite a bit nicer to her. I bet someone would still call her out for her game actions not honoring the boy scout values (or whatever) but I bet it wouldn’t have been nearly as big a deal. She probably would have gotten actual props for her flip flopping, too.

    • Maritimer

      First question: Does she beat Fairplay? I’m not sure. Lill gets Rupert, Sandra, Christa, Fairplay gets Burton and Ryno with Darrah and Tijuanna as the deciding votes, I think.

      if she does, I would say middle pack of lower tier winners. They probably cut out some of the crying, and she gets played up as being a strategic flipper, a la Rob C, as opposed to wishy washy. Problem is, taking out Rupert then taking Fairplay to the finals makes it hard to play her too heroically. Ahead of bottom winners, depending on the edit, possibly in the Aras/Adam range

      • Harvey Dent

        Nope, she wouldn’t have beaten Fairplay

        • Maritimer

          Basically, I think it boils down to how much Fairplay grossed out Darrah by hitting on her. Was it more than living with Lil grated on her?

          • Harvey Dent

            The rumor is that Lil knew she would lose to both and chose Sandra because she liked her better. Fairplay probably would have had everyone’s votes besides MAYBE Rupert. I can’t see him losing any other vote.

          • Maritimer

            I think its more than likely she loses. I just also see a potential path to victory. I think Sandra/Christa/Rupert probably vote as a bloc, and if its for Lill, she’s one vote shy

          • Alkanarra

            This is probably where it’s worth pointing out that Tijuana *did* vote for Lil the first time….

            But yeah, thought experiment notwithstanding, Sandra votes for Fairplay. Game respects game.

          • Maritimer

            Right, I forgot that she did that. I don’t know about Sandra. She hated Fairplay’s guts. I see game respects game, but I don’t know that it outweighs her hatred

          • Diego Armando

            No way Sandra votes for Jon. She hated his ass and is totally the type of person to vote out of spite.

          • Other Scott

            Keep in mind that most of these rumours come from Fairplay himself, who is not a very unbiased source.

        • Sad Lil

          Rude.

      • Sad Lil

        Duh

    • Harvey Dent

      I really doubt she would have beaten Fairplay, but regardless at least above Bob. Not sure if anyone else, though.

    • Sad Lil

      #1 clearly.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        But Lil, what about All-American hero Kim Spradlin?

        • Sad Lil

          People just like her because she plays like a jerky man but is a woman.

  • Super duper fan

    This post was fricking amazing.

    I personally never was annoyed at Lil during PI, and I know it is a pretty unpopular opinion. To be fair, I wasn’t annoyed at any “old women-cryers”, like Dawn and Lisa.

    Regarding Lil’s game, I don’t find it one of the worst games ever. There were much worse than hers.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I generally don’t mind this casting type either – in fact I like Dawn and Lisa a lot. Do you think Katrina will be an ‘old woman cryer’ in the new season?

      • Super duper fan

        I haven’t seen any of her interviews yet (well, I won’t see any interviews until probably right before the premiere), but from what I’ve seen in her video, I don’t think so, although I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. I think she’s more towards the “T-Bird” old woman type casting. If I would have to guess who’s the “old woman cryer” of this cast though, I would actually bet my money more on Chrissy than on Kristina.

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          Oh yeah I forgot about Chrissy! I was about to comment on how many middle aged women were cast this season, but then I checked the cast ages and I was surprised that the people I was remembering as older aren’t actually that old. Lauren is only 35!!! And Roark and Desi are both 27! I don’t know why they seemed older to me? I guess for Survivor casting 27 is getting up there
          if you’re a woman 😛

          • Super duper fan

            I’m surprised you found Roark and Desi middle aged. But, to be fair, if I had just quickly glanced at all of the profile pictures, I think I COULD find them older than they really are.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            @sweaterfan:disqus ain’t alone on Roark, I’m surprised she’s only 27. Desi though, I don’t know about all that. Wouldn’t have put her over 30, so 27 checks out to me.

          • BadPlayer91

            I will give you, compared to a lot of other seasons, the women seem older in general. The 2 eldest people are both women, and of the 3 people over 40, 2 are women. Average age for Men is 29.4 compared to 31.6 for Women.

            Though thinking of it, neither team has an individual over 50, while most seasons have at least 1 individual 50+ Last couple seasons, there was Troy & [Redacted], Paul, Joe & Tai, Terry & Savage & Keith, Carolyn & Nina…

    • Sad Lil

      I am right here. Why are you talking about me in the third person?

      • Super duper fan

        It’s not every day you can talk with a the best player to never win.

        • Sad Lil

          Thank you Super Duper Fan!

  • Mike Hirsch

    Oh Lil, you are a delight.

    • Sad Lil

      Thank you Mike Hirsch!

  • Hornacek

    I recently listened to the RHAP Second Chance campaign interviews and after hearing Deb Eaton call in on [REDACTED]’s interview, I was really hoping (even though I knew it didn’t happen) that Lil would call in on Savage’s. It was still good to hear Rob do his Lil impression and have Savage respond “… You’re really giving me flashbacks here.”

  • Hornacek

    Another tidbit from the Second Chance interviews – Savage did get back to Lil before tribal and told her that she was being voted out. So when Lil comes back in the game and says “Remember I asked you to …” it cuts away, but that conversation continued with Savage saying “What are you talking about? I did tell you!”

    At least, this is according to Savage’s interview, and he says he’s talked to Lil after the game and she agreed that’s what happened. And some commenters on RHAP say there are Lil post-season interviews where she says Savage did get back to her.

    So it looks like another Survivor legend that became fact. It’s no “There was this sauce …” but pretty close.

    • It’s funny, because you’re talking about Savage’s Second Chance interview where he mentions he told Lil she was being voted out, but for some reason you’re suggesting that it was an interview with RHAP.

      Obviously you were referring to the far superior PRP interview with Savage, the one featuring Savage superfan Matt as my co-host.

      • Hornacek

        That’s right, I forgot about the hype on this site for Savage 2.0

      • Max_Jets

        See, and I thought all podcasts were called RHAPs and that this was just the PRPRHAP.

        • Hornacek

          Like the Stephen and Jeff Probst blogs that used to be on here.

        • purplerockandy

          That’s how they’re referred to in the south.

          • Hornacek

            As in “south of the Canada/U.S. border”?

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          I thought “prprhap” was how you transcribe a belch?

          • Mike Hirsch

            For some reason I’m interpreting it as a really poor pronunciation of “parsnip.”

        • forever1267

          Wait…. “Real Housewives…. At… Pomona…”?!?!?!?

    • Sad Lil

      Nuh uh. He’s a damned liar!

      • Hornacek

        Lil, is there an interview with you online where you say that what Savage says is true? Remember, Scouts don’t lie.

        • Sad Lil

          How am I supposed to remember what happened 15 years ago? I’m 65 for gosh sakes!

          • Hornacek

            I am sorry you lost your job at Lenscrafters when you left to go on Survivor.

          • Sad Lil

            !!!!!!!

            @purplerockjohn:disqus stop him he’s bullying.

          • Hornacek

            Ryan Shoulders says hi.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Ryan Shoulders? Are you talking about Skinny Ryan?

          • Hornacek

            He doesn’t like being called that. In Savage’s SC RHAP interview he said he had no idea he minded the SR nickname until after the game and said he never would have called him that if he had known. That Savage is such a nice guy!

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Gross. Matt’s unconditional love for Savage is exponentially worse than Andy’s love for Boston Rob.

          • Hornacek

            I don’t know if that amount of unconditional love is possible.

  • In the middle of an awful day of hurricane prep, I made sure to devote some time to upvoting every Sad Lil comment here.

    I’m very behind on Survivor stuff, including this site, but I’ll get back to writing/editing/running fantasy leagues soon.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      Cole, JP, Roark, Chrissy

      Just kidding. Stay safe John.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      Wait, why are you even thinking about fantasy stuff at all instead of prepping for Irma? (Coming for the Lil post I understand, priorities are what they are) Can’t you deputize someone to run the fantasy set up for you? It’s just an excel sheet Michael, how hard could it be?

      • Purple Rock Emma

        The rest of us are very dumb.

        • Taako From Teevhii

          You’ve outsourced nearly everything else about the site. Some of us in the commentariat can work a spreadsheet.

          • prettyboyprobst

            John is not willing to give up the right of first refusal.

          • BadPlayer91

            Nor give the rights to the all-holy spreadsheet to just anyone. A man’s spreadsheet must be respected and carefully cared for, lest it become messy and disorganized. A disorganized spreadsheet is worse then no spreadsheet at all…

          • Taako From Teevhii

            No tea, no shade, but I’ve found that accountants aren’t great with commands and formulas. Like, better than the inexperienced layperson, but they don’t know a lot of Excel stuff.

          • Not to ruin the joke, but I’m not actually an accountant.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            And Andy isn’t Canadian. Sure thing.

          • purplerockandy

            He’s actually a transpondster.

          • Hornacek
          • TheForRealDeal

            Not with that shirt.

          • Hornacek

            That’s too bad. When I watched the Affleck film “The Accountant” I was thinking “This is what John’s life is probably like.

    • Sad Lil

      Love you Purple John!

    • sharculese

      Good luck, man.

      Will you be offended if I go ahead and start marshalling forces for underground league? I have 19 players to corral and wanna do a last minute rules check.

      • Sad Lil

        OooOOO am I invited?!?!

        • sharculese

          I did recruitment during the last season, but if anyone backs out, youre my first alternate.

          • Sad Lil

            Drats!

      • Do your thing, boo.

    • StormofCuteness

      Even though you don’t watch movies, I still want you and your family to be safe! So sorry for you and everyone going through this. Super scary!

      • BadPlayer91

        CANT EVENT.

        But same!

    • corndogshuffle

      Be safe man. My sister lives in Ocala. Thankfully we have cousins in Atlanta and that’s where she is right now.

      • I also fled to Georgia. I’m still here, but I’ll make my way home soon.

  • Sad Lil

    Excuse me, how does the article about that foul-mouthed Jenn Brown have more comments than the one about me. Hmph!

  • indescribable hat

    Lillian Morris is my second real-life Survivor connection because I know one of her scouts!

  • forever1267

    I would just like to thank Sad Lil for posting this…. so that we could stare at Burton again. MMM Burton….

  • forever1267

    So, Sad Lil, be honest. Savage or Burton? Which one? Just between us, you know!