Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers Bonus Content Roundup – Week 6

Taako From Teevhii shares the best bonus scenes from the previous episode of Survivor: Hockey vs. Handball vs. Horseshoes.

This Week In Secret Scenes

“I Can’t Be Like A Jealous Lover”

Jessica and Cole, Cole and Jess, yada yada yada. Let’s get into the real implications of this scene, which have only been hinted at thus far in our run. Dr. Mike sees Cole as a threat to his game because he wants to work with/is already working with Jessica. We can see this as an extension of last week where Jess and Dr. Mike tried to keep Cole in the dark about the idol that they had found together.

It’s not exactly a love triangle, but nonetheless this threesome is not in a stable position (phrasing). Jessica is more personally connected with Cole but strategically connected with Dr. Mike. Which one will win her loyalty? Might it be either and/or both? Will Dr. Mike make a move to take out Cole, or vice versa? I feel like there’s this whole Jess-Cole-Mike iceberg of a subplot, where we’ve seen parts of it above the surface of the final cut, but we’ve gotten nowhere close to seeing its entirety.

This Week In Confessionals

“He Toppled Like A Tree Trunk”

So the question of the week seems to be whether or not Cole was faking his fainting as a way of getting more food, which mean ole complainer Lauren was denying him. We have the tapes, so the event in question is well-documented. But it would be useful to get an expert opinion as evidence, and so we call Dr. Zahalsky to the stand.

Apparently Cole was babbling, not unlike a person having a seizure. Dr. Mike tells us that Cole took a HARD fall into the bamboo, and adds that Cole’s fall came directly after he had quickly stood up from his position lying down. If Cole was faking, he got every symptom right and probably took an unnecessary risk in whacking his head against the hard bamboo. It seems that in the professional opinions of Dr. Mike and Jessica, Cole’s collapse was no act.

But also, c’mon. We’re talking about Cole. Big, Stupid, Sexy Cole. The guy wouldn’t be able to plan a bank heist if the security guards deactivated the alarms, opened the vault, and left their keys in the front door on their way out. If Cole were able to fake fainting that well, he would’ve been smart enough to not tell both Ben and Lauren about Jess’s advantage (whether he’d be able to keep it himself is another thing entirely). At least he’ll soon be able pig out on the merge feast while telling someone about Mike’s idol in his oblivious, food-induced bliss.

“What’s Really Going On In Her Head”

I’m not going to discount the chance that Devon is not that perceptive, but most of what we’ve seen from him indicates that he’s more savvy than he appears. According to Devon, Desi is playing a pretty quiet game and is thus hard to read. She’s a good player and a nice person, but she’s even-keel and deliberate in everything that she does. Her poker face is on point.

So it might be likely that the reason we’ve seen almost nothing from Desi is that she’ll be gone in a few weeks. Another possibility: she’s Boatwright-ing. She’s deliberately giving her tribemates and the producers nothing because she’s playing that close to the vest. Is that likely? Let’s say probably not and hope that we’re wrong. But if we don’t have enough evidence to make any claim about Desi, then all scenarios are equally likely, right? Maybe?

“We Needed Something Like This”

“Ali and I just won flint, which cannot be eaten.” Okay, Ryan. You made me laugh with that one, I’ll give you that.

Here, Ryan claims that this pizza reward was necessary because it brought the tribe back together after the previous Tribal had created a divide between Ali and Ryan. Well, Ryan really created that divide himself, but semantics-schmemantics. It doesn’t really matter because the feel-good effect of this reward was a wash after Ryan booted Ali at the following Tribal anyway. This also raises the question: how is Ryan going to play his cutting Ali to Devon and Lauren? Will he lie and say he went to rocks against Chrissy? Will he say they tied, but he wanted to avoid rocks? Or will he own his move completely?

Also, Ryan says, “I was taking a lot of heat for being the biggest jackass on the face of the earth. Which isn’t true.” And he’s right. The guy he helped elect President is the biggest jackass on the planet.

“And Uh, Bottom Line Is This Game Is A Numbers Game, And Uh, If Your Number’s On Your Side And You’re Not Gettin’ A Vote, People Are Gonna Jump On Board With That”

This clip is submitted without comm—wait. Wait a second. Holy fucking shit, who’s feeding JP these lines? WHY IS HE DOING MATH CORRECTLY?!? Okay. OKAY. Okay. He’s talking about a “good ole girls club.” Not sure Ali’s a “good ole girl,” but okay. We’re back to normal. Whew, that was a close one. I thought JP was actually having a cogent, strategic confessional there. “Definitely can’t lose limelight of that.” Yup, no need to worry, y’all, everything’s under control.

This Week In Gifable Moments

When you don’t want to hurt the feelings of your friend because he’s trying his best, but seriously. It’s fucking funny.

When Pizza Hut insists that hot dogs in your crust is a good thing.

Taako From Teevhii

Taako From Teevhii

Taako first learned of Survivor when his buddy Merle said he’d vote their friend Ango off the island. After a google search and one episode, he became a fan and never looked back.

Favorite Seasons: China, Heroes vs Villains, Philippines, Cagayan, Cambodia

Favorite Players: Kelley Wentworth, Sandra Diaz-Twine, Kim Spradlin, Denise Stapley, Todd Herzog, Courtney Yates, Yul Kwon
Taako From Teevhii
  • Mike Hirsch

    Cole faking passing out is one of the funniest ideas out there. Like you said, this is Cole. Cole would be more likely to fake passing out by lying down on the beach when no one is around and waiting until someone came down the beach and “discovered” him. And then he’d notice the waves climbing higher up the shore and be like “oh no, I hope someone finds me before high tide washes me away” because, you know, Cole.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      Also, we would have scenes of him telling every single tribe mate about his genius plan within 10 minutes of executing it XD

    • Hornacek

      I was one of the ones who commented during the episode that maybe Cole had faked his fainting spell, but I didn’t really mean it. His hand shaking before he fainted, the fall, his babbling afterwards – it seems pretty textbook.

      However, I liked the idea that before he fainted, his entire (?) tribe was annoyed at him for wanting to eat more food, but after he fainted he not only got the food that he wanted but Jessica was fawning over him. Without intending to, he fell ass-backwards into getting more food and strengthening his relationship with Jessica. You might just say that he pulled a Homer.

      http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/03_05.png

  • Max_Jets

    “She’s deliberately giving her tribemates and the producers nothing because she’s playing that close to the vest. Is that likely? Let’s say probably not and hope that we’re wrong.”
    I think I like Desi, I love Danni, and I really like Guatemala, but this would not be a good thing. Guatemala might have been close to a top tier season if we had more insight on Danni’s game.

    • Super duper fan

      Danni played a great game, and is probably the best “UTR female winner” for me. It’s too bad we didn’t get more insight to her game due to her not telling the production about it. I hope she would come back in the winners’ season.

  • corndogshuffle

    I know this is totally irrelevant, but just thought I’d stop in and say hi while I sit at the tire store. Put a nail in my tire just before I was going to drive 550 miles. $800 bill to replace all four. Annoying, but better to find out now than to shred one on the interstate at full speed!

    • Well shit, that sucks. Enjoy wherever you’re driving to, though.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      Almost that exact thing happened to me in September, except just for fun the tire place forgot to put the caps back on the non-punctured tires after they put air in them, so they all went flat overnight. Luckily they sent someone out on a house call to fix their mistake and we didn’t lose much time on our journey.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    TAZ Talk Thread!!!

    So we met Jenkins and Angus and Graham. Griffin is great as the constantly put-upon Jenkins, and if you don’t already love Angus McDonald, trust me that you will in the next few episodes. Speaking of which, STOP LISTENING AHEAD JOHN (and others). I thought I had missed the 7 Schools of Magic joke somewhere in Episodes 7 to 9, but nope, turns out John was talking about things in E10-12.

    So two questions: (1) Who do you think murdered Leeman? and (2) Revisiting the casting question, do you have a more realized visualization of our protagonists? Anyone to play Jenkins, Angus, Graham, or Tom Bodett? I’m going Alan Rickman (RIP) for Jenkins, either the kid from Blackish or the kid from Room for Angus, Tom Arnold for Tom Bodett, and Tom Bodett for Graham.

    • Purplerockmatt

      Tom Bodett should play every role except for Tom Bodett

    • I’m sorry for enjoying the podcast you recommended to us based upon the premise that we would enjoy it. I forget which episode I’m on now, though. But I remember they were still on the train.

      I enjoyed the Tom Bodett interactions, particularly when Merle got shockingly murderous. And I enjoyed Taako just dragging the shit out of Jenkins for no reason.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        The premise was that we would all listen together, like a book club.

        • sharculese

          I feel him tho. I’m pacing myself because I know I’ll forget what happened otherwise, but I still want to rush ahead even already knowing what happens.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Part of it is that we don’t get a “wtf, I need to talk to someone about this moment” until the end of PttM where we’re first introduced to the RR. So until then, it’s easy to go at whatever pace you like.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      I’ve fallen behind! Last week was a real bear and now I’m six episodes back. It’s gonna be tough catching up…

      • Taako From Teevhii

        I could throw some shade at John, but I won’t.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Why not?

          • Missed opportunity if you ask me.

      • sharculese

        Do what I did: wake up realizing that Donald Trump is going to be president and spend a whole day just listening to TAZ to kill the pain.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          I still wake up thinking that today is the day that he is going to stop being president. I guess I’m just a beer’s half full kind of guy.

    • sharculese

      Not really a lot of foreshadowing this week, so I’m really just gonna say one thing – since Griffin said in TTAZZ3 that he’s okay with people subscribing to the “Angus is a dragon” theory, that’s officially part of my canon. Let’s wait until the end of MotRL to introduce the newibies to that idea, tho.

      Also, since I forgot to reply before: 15 minutes into the new episode of Commitment I was already down to award Justin the title of hands down best roleplayer of the 4 of them, but when Kardala started talking about her “new friend Jesus and the terrible Bible he wields” I completely lost it.

      • Purplerockmatt

        the new episode of Commitment was so good, it reminded me that these guys can be so damn funny when they want to be

        • sharculese

          Bagging on Clint’s terrible map will never get old.

          My backwards tour through the MBMBaM archives is almost to “Married to the Mice King,” and even though I’ve listened to that bit a millions times on youtube I’m still stoked to hear it in context.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        We’d need to frame it in the right way though so as not to influence expectations of Angus in battle scenes later (like in S&S). I know that we both knew of the Silver Dragon theory before Lost Century or so, and I kept hoping that he’d suddenly start breathing ice.

        Like I said before, I LOVE KARDALA. “Terrible, scythe-like Bible.”

    • So I worked crazy overnight hours last week and now it’s today. And…I think I’m out. They’re really funny, but it just hasn’t been able to overcome my anti-fantasy bias, particularly in the face of working hard and other content that’s easier for me to understand.

      Now I’m going to read all the spoilers.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        Well I guess you did more than the least we could’ve asked for. It’s too bad that this didn’t hook you. But don’t deliberately go and spoil yourself! You never know when you might decide to give something another try and you wind up unexpectedly loving it.

        • It’s true, I will probably pick it up again later, in an unstructured manner. But I still can absolutely read the spoilers, because if I can’t retain plot information after I JUST listened to it, I certainly won’t even come close to remembering anything weeks or months after the fact.

          • Kindred spirit. That’s my attitude as well, and part of why I started going at my own pace- I know there’s going to be a point where I can’t keep up because of work obligations. So I’ll listen when I can.

          • I’m pretty sure everyone still gets to yell at you though.

    • Super duper fan

      I won’t be able to join you unfortunately in a VERY long time. I’m seriously behind due to my lack of time. Hopefully, in the final weeks of November/first weeks of December I’m gonna have a lot more time, and will finally discuss it with all the people participating. But sooner or later I will catch up, and I love fantasy, so it’s giving me motivation to push forward. I just wanted to tell you guys, so you wouldn’t think that I’ve bailed out.

    • sharculese

      Completely o/t: do I correctly remember you saying a couple weeks ago you bought the Seiken Densetsu collection for the Switch?

      • Taako From Teevhii

        nope bc I don’t have a switch yet

        • sharculese

          Yeah, I realized after I asked that I was confusing you with fellow AV Club refugee stepped pyramids.

  • By The Numbers

    I think the bonus content this week finally gave me the answer on if Ryan is supposed to be a villain – he is. That confessional where he admits the game is harder than he thought but then he’ll look at his buff and its a dream come true is definitely a confessional a nerdy hero would have aired.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      I think Ryan is a villain as well, but–unlike most of the good folks here–I actually like him. Your comment made me wonder: Have they ever aired a cut scene on a later episode? I assume that if CBD did, they wouldn’t air the clip on their site.

      • Purplerockmatt

        Pretty sure they have aired scenes cut from the events of previous episodes on later episodes, but if they were going to do that they wouldn’t put them on the site

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Have they ever posted a clip that would have explained something that otherwise made no sense?

          • Purplerockmatt

            I don’t know, what am I, some sort of Survivor expert?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            That and a hell of a graphic designer! BTW, I just noticed what you did with the question marks on the predictions header! Hilarious!

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Is this where you insist that you’re a Survivor sexpert?

  • Maritimer

    So, I have questions about the Jessica-Cole-Mike thing and what they are versus what they aren’t showing us. I kind of wonder if this angle kind of fizzles out and that’s why they aren’t pushing it as hard as they could be given the scenes they aren’t showing. Like, if Jessica was going to betray Cole for Mike, I think we would have a bit stronger hint it was coming, with scenes like this being in the show (I’m not sure the well scene is enough). There is time yet for that betrayal to be set up, but only if the conventional prediction that the Heroes/Hustlers gang up on the Healers at the merge is wrong

    • Taako From Teevhii

      The other scenario is that Jessica is going to be portrayed as the agent shaking things up, not Mike. I think the cut Secret Scenes are more from Mike’s perspective than they are from Jess’s. If our view is meant to align more with Jessica’s, then these scenes might show more of the storyline but skew out perspectives.

      • Maritimer

        I agree that its Jessica who will do something, but even her I don’t think its setting up betrayal. Maybe the idea of her playing the game without him (in the scenario where he’s the merge boot), or even passively letting him get voted out, but not actively betraying him

        • Or Jessica gets cut because of Cole.

          • Maritimer

            I think that’s possible too, but I feel like she’s been set up to make a move with Mike, just not one against Cole, but that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, unless its a failed move which may play into your theory

        • Taako From Teevhii

          There’s a chance that I won’t be around to comment in tomorrow’s prediction thread, so I’ll do this here:

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7b2159bffc2866400effbbe17ed71975325e707bbbb98a27ba7951dbbe7bb17c.png

          These are the alliances, mapped out, as I see them rn. Lauren, Devon, Mike, and Desi are the most well-connected with degree 4. JP and Joe are the most isolated with degree 2. But the Heroes and Hustlers have the strongest connections, so even without considering that they need to prevent the Healers from swallowing them up, it’s likely that they’ll team up. They’re going to target Joe or Cole, but I feel like Joe would know to play his idol and would probably idol out Ryan or Chrissy. That probably isn’t happening, so Cole would be going home (though Joe’s idol can still be burned).

          TLDNR: Yeah, if Cole goes but without any “betrayal” from Jessica, the whole storyline is pointless.

          • Unless a merge idol is found and played in this week’s episode.

          • More likely an one-time use advantage is in play.

          • Taako From Teevhii
          • Well done!

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Let’s not discount the “I bit into my roll, and there was a piece of paper in there!” advantage that’ll be found at the merge feast.

          • Hornacek

            I’m hoping they have a clue hidden in one of the bottles (like in Worlds Apart), but this time no one notices it and almost chokes on it. Because come on producers, who plants a clue as an actual choking hazard and thinks that’s a safe idea?

          • Max_Jets

            This is interesting – I wonder if Ali’s departure could lead Lauren to work with Mike and the healers instead of her original tribe. I also lean towards the Healers being on the outs, but really every non-Desi has been featured prominently from the healers tribe so it’s not like the edit is giving away which group wins out this time around.

          • Mike Hirsch

            So, merge boot of Desi, then?

          • Max_Jets

            Or perhaps something much worse – 5th place

          • Maritimer

            This is exactly what I think happens, which is why I think this storyline has been bizarre, but I guess they needed some content from the Healers and sure, why not go love story with it

          • purplerockandy

            I don’t know why Joe would target Ryan or Chrissy absent any knowledge of the power they’ve had. Wouldn’t JP or Devon make more sense?

            Also, it’s not just his vote that matters even if he plays his idol, unlesss everyone was voting for him.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Those are some good points (and also some poor wording on my part), though I don’t know if anything changes. If we assume that Joe + some collection of Healers target someone who they don’t have a connection to, then Ryan, Chrissy, and JP are the only people on the table. Spend one minute with JP, and you’ll realize that he’s not that big of a threat in the endgame. He might actually be an asset you can cultivate. I think Joe is perceptive enough to know that Ryan and Chrissy are the bigger targets, and if he pushes for one of them, the other Healers will probably go along with that. (And if he’s truly a knock off Tony, he’ll target the woman who’s looking to make a splash at the first merge Tribal).

            Unrelated, there is another scenario, where the Heroes + Hustlers and 1 flipped Healer (probably Mike) make 8 against the remaining 4 Healers. They split the vote between Joe and Cole, and if Joe plays his idol, Cole goes to Ponderosa. I know you didn’t have a problem with the outcome, but I just thought of another way to get there and wanted to put it in writing.

          • the sky is falling

            Pre-merge assessment.
            Seeing all 12 remaining players mapped out its looking pretty normal for an average season. I still have marginal rooting interest in about half the players and could deal with any of these winning: Mike, Jessica, Joe, Ben, Chrissy, Devon, and Ryan (watchable, if not enjoyable).

            Cole, Ashley, JP, Lauren, and Desi: Zero chance to win unless its a vote against a villian.

            I suppose its about the best we could hope for, given the cards we were dealt this season.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Really great work, but I think Chrissy is deserving of a fourth (and maybe even fifth, if we’re stretching it) connection, as Ashley considered herself to be working well with Chrissy, even though that isn’t necessarily the case from Chrissy’s side (and Devon is in on the Ep.1 idol, which I could see become crucial).

      • This is probably right. We are supposed to like Mike, but he seems to be getting a bit of the underdog edit. Jessica’s edit still baffles me.

  • Even though 2017 has been a fairly awful year, we can at least be thankful that both seasons that aired in 2017 has given us some fantastic meta gifs.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      Still one of my favorites. “When your husband is 50 feet away, but trade got you feeling some type of way.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8bc3cb485511f9c884b409e5cb2378f7d11b9be36133fd523600ac561f776cd9.gif

      • Tai gonna shoot his shot.

    • Saturday Night Palsy
      • F***ing Stick

        Cute!! I love the expression on his/her face!

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          He tried to kill me this past May!

          • F***ing Stick

            Wait, he actually tried to kill you?! I just read John’s comment.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            He led me down into a ditch and tricked me into stepping on a rusty nail. I did not actually get tetanus, just a deep puncture wound.

          • Blurry Denzel

            That’s some Kevin McCallister shit.

          • F***ing Stick

            Yikes!

          • F***ing Stick

            Glad you didn’t actually get tetanus.

        • Hornacek

          It says “I can’t believe my owner is a bellhop!”

      • It also gave you tetanus!

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          It took five months for that puncture wound to heal. That is crazy!

  • Hornacek

    “Survivor: Hockey vs. Handball vs. Horseshoes.”

    Downvoted for using “Horseshoes” without also using “Hand Grenades”

    • Taako From Teevhii

      When there’s an official governing body of the hand grenades league, it’ll make the cut.

  • StormofCuteness

    Umm, I am desperate for a way to avoid more wedding planning so where the heck are the predictions?!

    I need my PRP fix, people!

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      I predict that they’ll be posted tomorrow.

    • purplerockandy

      Sorry, a task that was supposed to take half the day yesterday kept me away from home all day. Then I slept all day today.

      • StormofCuteness

        That sounds sucky. I forgive you. Possibly I even thank you because I got most of our wedding program done.