Survivor Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers Episode 1 Liveblog: “I’m Not Crazy, I’m Confident”

Follow us on Twitter and Storify below for the premiere episode of Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers! Yes, that’s really the name.

Matt
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Matt

Matt has an irrational dislike for all contestants named Michel(l)e. Also if he ever takes a strong stance about why everyone else is wrong, it is he that is inevitably wrong.

Favorite seasons: Micronesia, Heroes vs. Villains, Palau, Philippines, Pearl Islands, Cagayan
Matt
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  • the sky is falling

    Fingers crossed that Joe is a Tony!

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      You can go ahead and uncross those fingers.

  • Hornacek

    So in the Game Changers finale comments someone suggested that I should post my “Random thoughts” comments live instead of all at once after the episode was over. So I am gonna try that out this season. We’ll see if I can keep up with the show.

    And now … onto Survivor: Paladins vs Clerics vs Rogues!

    • the sky is falling

      Hmm, personally, the Random thoughts is one of my fave commenter features

      • Hornacek

        Well now you’ll have it in multiple posts!

        • the sky is falling

          Added value, heh

          • Hornacek

            Plus, by the time I had watched the episode and posted my Random Thoughts, there were usually ~100 comments already posted, so I wasn’t appearing near the top of the comments list. And let’s face it – I post a long list of Random Thoughts on each Survivor episode – I’m obviously a raging egomaniac who wants to be first and counts every upvote I get.

  • Scarlett3639

    Let’s get ready to rumble!!! And by rumble I mean engage in spirited, yet civil, discussion and debate full of much respect and Simpsons quotes.

    • indescribable hat

      I’m sorry, I only do Buffy quotes.

    • Hornacek

      Our rumbles are so lame.

  • the sky is falling

    Getting a serious Woody Allen vibe from Mike

    • Alycia Swift

      I think more Eugene from Grease. Or Mandark from Dexter’s Lab. Same actor.

  • sharculese

    Oh, dang. I saw Ben on the latest cover of Basic White Dude magazine.

    • Diego Armando

      He was hanging out with JP.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        Alan accused him, too?

      • DrVanNostrand

        Damn! You beat me to it!

    • gouis

      I’m sure he voted for Trump but is “deeply troubled” but the things he’s said in office.

      • sharculese

        Why are you so sure he voted?

        • gouis

          Because he’s a middle aged white ex-millitary man?

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          A woman was running for president.

      • Hornacek

        I laughed at the CNN panel where they interviewed 5 people that voted for Trump and 3 of them said they regretted their votes. When the interviewer asked those 3 when they started to feel that way, one of them said “The day after the inauguration.”

        • gouis

          100% chance they still vote for him in 2020.

          • purplerockandy

            I mean… there’s a chance they don’t get that option.

          • gouis

            Gotta love that Canadian opimism. Still going strong. I’m basically resigned to him never leaving office until he dies.

          • sharculese

            Which… could easily happen. The man has difficulty with stairs and all he eats is fried food.

          • purplerockandy

            I mean… there’s a chance that happens before 2020.

          • Hornacek

            I can’t remember if it was on this site or somewhere else that I posted this week about a Daily Show story about a golf course owner who voted for Trump and the proposed wall will go right through his golf course, ruining his business. And he still says if he knew then what he knows now (he says he thought the wall was metaphorical) he would still vote for Trump.

        • Streets_Ahead

          That’s one of those things that’s “funny” and by that I mean makes me sad/disappointed.

    • DrVanNostrand

      Ben was the cover, but JP was the centerfold.

      • Purple Rock Emma

        JP is the most generic looking human I’ve ever seen. He’s oatmeal personified.

        • DrVanNostrand

          Since this is apparently my theme for this comment thread, I feel the need to say, Jon Misch 2.0.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Jon Misch is Jonathan Penner compared to JP.

        • Streets_Ahead

          It’s a trait common among JPs on Survivor.

        • He looks like a lead in a Hallmark movie.

      • Hornacek

        My blood runs cold
        My Survivor hopes have just been sold
        JP is the centerfold
        JP is the centerfold

  • Hornacek

    Jeff tells the Hustlers what their tribe name is. They don’t look as happy as the Heroes and Healers.

  • the sky is falling

    Matt, he always explains the concept, ad nauseam….

  • Good job Ryan keep up that Courtney impression.

  • Hornacek

    So far I’m not that impressed by the turtleneck.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    “Eat wake, losers!” –Jeff, apparently with his motor boat.

    • sharculese

      Sorry, I saw ‘Jeff Probst’ and ‘motorboat’ in the same sentence and my mind went places.

      • purplerockandy

        I see that you’re also a fan of Julie Berry’s instagram.

    • Maritimer

      Jeff jumping in his boat and shooting by the contestants might have been my favourite part of the opening

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        I wish he would have pulled up alongside the H tribe and shouted at them through a megaphone.

        • Alycia Swift

          Or had the dream team in the boat showing them how to row correctly with Jeff standing over them

      • Hornacek

        I wish that instead of riding in that boat, he had been water-skiing behind it.

  • Hornacek

    Is a “secret advantage” a secret if it’s laying out in the open and labeled?

    • purplerockandy

      Apparently it is.

      • Hornacek

        Next season I want a similar package in the marooning labelled “This is not a secret advantage.”

  • Taako From Teevhii

    So we all know about starting fires and splitting coconuts, but how high does “rowing a canoe” rank among “Survivor skills to learn before you hit the beach?”

    • purplerockandy

      Probably not that high, tbh. It’s certainly nice to know, but you’re kinda fucked if multiple people in your tribe don’t know how to do it, no matter how well you do.

      So in terms of personal benefit, it’s largely negligible. It’s also one of those things you’ll get to learn while you’re out there. Which doesn’t help in this specific situation, which probably won’t mean squat in the overall direction of the season.

    • Hornacek

      You should at least understand how to use an oar to steer the boat and make turns. If the boat is pointing at 3 o’clock and you want to be pointing at 6 o’clock, you really shouldn’t have people rowing on both sides of the boat.

      • indescribable hat

        Not forward at least.

        • Hornacek

          It’s not just me – they were rowing backwards at the end of that challenge, weren’t they?

          • indescribable hat

            I meant that you can turn by having one side go backwards and the other forwards, but yes, by the end their boat had gotten flipped around and they weren’t capable of doing anything about it except paddling backwards.

          • Hornacek

            Oh right, there probably wouldn’t have been room for all 6 of them to row on one side. But I wouldn’t trust that tribe to organize one side rowing backwards and the other rowing forwards.

    • Think about it this way: How many seasons before the modern age were you in an inland area with no real water? A lot. But, modern age castaways need to learn it, especially since Probst seems keen on the idea of staying in Fiji.

  • Hornacek

    I guess hustling doesn’t involve knowing how to row a boat.

    • sharculese

      Youtube “celebrities” can’t get near water. They’re like hobbits.

      • Hornacek

        Shade thrown at Will Simms II.

        • sharculese

          Hobbits are a kind, noble people. They have nothing in common with Will.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I wish Will was imaginary.

      • Hornacek

        Are YouTube celebrities Mogwai/Gremlins?

    • I’m a hustler, baby
      I just want you to know
      It ain’t where I been
      But where I’m about to go
      [Hustlers row directly into the ocean, never to be seen again]

  • sharculese

    PSA: Underground league is still happening, I just tinkered with the draft format. Go here: http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/underground-league-discussion/ and I’ll post a longer explanation of what’s going on after the episode.

    If you wanna check in on the league do it there rather than clogging up the live thread.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    YES! 10 minutes in, and we’re already focusing on Cole.

    • the sky is falling

      And mini Tony

      • sharculese

        He’s looking more like regular size Brandon Hantz.

        • the sky is falling

          Hopefully he leans more towards Russell, we shall see

        • Streets_Ahead

          Now that I’ve seen this I want him to make it to the end and threaten to put someone on the jury when it’s day 39 so badly.

  • Hornacek

    Joe says he wanted the 3 Healer females on his tribe, and Cole is ripped … and Dr. Mike is just waiting for Joe to mention him.

  • sharculese

    “full tilt sprint out the gate”

    Yeah, I think we can guess who the recruit is on the Heroes.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    I feel like Patrick and Ali both talked about knowing each other, but it got edited out.

    • BadPlayer91

      Definitely. There is no way that they quickly were like “so were good” and didn’t remember they know each other. They definitely talked about it and production was like “nah”

      Just can’t decide if it’s good or bad for them..

      • Hornacek

        Too bad, I thought it was interesting in the pre-season interviews where she said she recognized him but he didn’t say anything about it. I wanted to see that first conversation about how the topic was broached.

    • indescribable hat

      As I predicted, she said smugly.

  • Hornacek

    Why are the oldest female Healer women going off by themselves leaving the young people to talk about how young they all are? No lo!

  • the sky is falling

    Way too early, but out the gate strategic focus is promising

  • sharculese

    Ryan, you either find out you’re on bottom of your tribe or get to save someone who probably won’t make the merge. That is not what power is.

  • wonderand

    Well, I’m already completely done with Ryan. Cool.

    • Well it is going to be a long season for you this season because he is obviously going to be the major character this season.

      • Kingoftonga

        Ryan is David from MvGx without any of the endearing charm.

        • Diego Armando

          He’s the answer to “What if Cochran was the villain of a slasher movie”.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Nonsense! Ryan is a bellhop! I’m surprised he isn’t on the heroes tribe.

          • Hornacek

            Traveller: I have to go up to my room, but my luggage is so heavy. I guess I’ll have to carry it …
            Bellhop: Sir, allow me. I’ll carry your luggage.
            Traveller: My hero!

          • Hornacek

            I fully expect Ryan to be the killer in the upcoming Happy Death Day movie I keep seeing commercials for.

      • I think Ryan got a lot of screentime because of the idol. Almost all of his content revolved around the idol like Jessica Lewis with her advantage in the MvGX premiere.

        • His story has legs with his new relationship with Devon.

          • But Devon got almost zero screentime besides Ryan. That’s not good.

    • sharculese

      Calling it now: Ryan spends his breaks standing outside the hotel sucking on a huge vape pen and wondering why all the girls who walk past try to avoid eye contact.

      • DrVanNostrand

        “Have you read Atlas Shrugged? It will change your life!!!”

        • StormofCuteness

          *shudder*

      • Hornacek

        He’s probably like the 2 guys in the “Hello … and good-bye!” sketch from SNL.

  • Hornacek

    Super-idols are bad, but as long as it’s only good at the first tribal, it’s not that bad. It’ll be gone by next week.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    I think Joe’s Tony-schtick would work really well if he didn’t look like someone who’s dressing up as Tony for Halloween.

    • the sky is falling

      One vote for comment of the night

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      “Who are you supposed to be, Joe”
      “I’m Survivor winner Tony Vlachos!”
      “Okay, and who are you supposed to be, Ken?”
      “…”

      Man, I miss that hashtag.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        Just wait until you can turn it into a hashtag for JP or Cole. #StillCaucasianKen

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          I can’t. I swore an oath to a public defender.

        • sharculese

          o/t: I’m listening to the new episode of Wonderful! and Griffin just mentioned that he’s a Cowboys fan, so I’m hoping we’re gonna get some commentary from him on Alan at some point.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            We need Griffin and Rachel to start a Survivor podcast bc I would listen the fuck out of that. Island Buddies? Torch Buddies? Does that work?

            Also while we’re talking McElroys: I know we’ve bounced around the idea of a TAZ re listen. I’m in for a relisten from Gerblins to 11th Hour (I actually think that works real well bc the people who enjoy the format/structure can jump straight into Pilot Season and those invested in the arc can finish the last 20 eps). But also, if we wanted to recruit people, the audience is now here for it.

    • Star Z

      When I first saw Joe I was like….Tony is back….

  • Taako From Teevhii

    Is this a good advantage to tell people about? I think it depends on if you can hand off after the votes are read or if whoever’s holding is the only one who can play it.

    • the sky is falling

      Stupid to tell anyone about it before the challenge

      • Roswulf

        I say good. It only works for one vote, and it’s a super idol, so you are protected no matter what.

        And if you find the right people, an early demonstration of trust can mean a lot. Especially when it costs nothing.

    • indescribable hat

      I think he said you can play it for someone else. I don’t think there’s much risk to telling since you’re not going to have it long term, and it seems to have won him a friend/puppy.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    Dammit, Alan is going way too strong out of the gate.

    • the sky is falling

      He was a Dallas cowboy, get him out

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        Hey now!

      • Hornacek

        Does this make Alan “America’s player”?

  • Hornacek

    Joe is questioning Dr. Mike about looking for the idol, but all I’m seeing is Joe’s low-riding shorts and bright orange underpants. Use the drawstring on those shorts, Joe!

    • the sky is falling

      *old man yells at cloud*

    • corndogshuffle

      I think this season needs an intervention about guys wearing pants at a normal height.

      • Alycia Swift

        I can only picture that guy years ago singing Pants in the Ground on American Idol

  • corndogshuffle

    It’s been a while since I cackled while watching Survivor. Thanks Alan. Also thanks for possibly tanking my Pick 4 team on day one but I’ll pretend you’re being smart for the moment.

    • indescribable hat

      I can’t take him off my pick 4 because my team name is a very labored joke about the other Alan Ball.

      • sharculese

        I’m not going to go look at the pick 4 listings. What is it?

        • indescribable hat

          Oh lord, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Alan Ball’s Six Feet Over and True Blonde, and it’s Alan, Cole, Chrissy, and Roark. As usual I wanted to make a joke but gave up before I found a good one.

          • StormofCuteness

            True Blood

            I wonder what a show called True Blonde would be like…probably this season of Survivor. *rim shot*

          • indescribable hat

            That’s the joke. Ish. The joke is that I have tall guys and blonde women on my team, and also that one of them is named Alan Ball, but now it’s all going to hell because I have to take him off my team but I have to keep the name the same under the new system.

          • StormofCuteness

            I am slow at “jokes”. 🤣

          • indescribable hat

            Don’t worry, it was a very feeble joke.

          • You couldn’t have included American Beauty for Cole?

          • Hornacek

            I want a scene where Cole is looking at an empty bag blowing in the wind saying “It’s so beautiful!”

          • indescribable hat

            I am not familiar with this property. I only know Alan Ball as a creator of HBO shows.

          • Alan Ball won an Academy Award for writing American Beauty, the 1999 Oscar winner for Best Picture starring Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening.

    • sharculese

      Is Aurvivor like Survivor except they strand a bunch of golems made from pure gold inside a Minotaur’s maze? Cuz I would watch that show.

      • corndogshuffle

        It’s the Survivor concept of “corndog has had too much wine” lol.

  • Hornacek

    Ryan and Devon are like Master Blaster.

  • the sky is falling

    a moment of silence for the formerly great AV club. Good luck finding a survivor post there

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Eh, screw ’em. The good ones are all here now.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        Weren’t there a few that didn’t make the jump over?

        • indescribable hat

          Well we know what SNP thinks of those people…

        • gouis

          RIP

          • Taako From Teevhii

            If the switch to Kinja didn’t happen over the summer, we might’ve been able to save some tonight.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Probably. I got kicked out about a year ago.

    • SirLiveAlot

      Wounded by the first site overhaul, put down with the second. May you join the table and feast with the former greats like Geocities in the great wayback machine.

    • Kingoftonga

      Either die as an independent alt-weekly or live long enough to see Univision as your majority stakeholder. What a strange history with an unfortunate ending.

    • gouis
      • indescribable hat

        With all of one comment…

    • Streets_Ahead

      Good like finding anything on there. The design is an ugly unhelpful mess.

      • Diego Armando

        You know how you could easily find reviews there, let’s not do that anymore.

      • Amanda LaPergola

        Kinda-style, baby!

    • Ms_Woozah

      The Kinja is atrocious. I’ve been there less and less over the months.

      • the sky is falling

        I would be fine with the un-intuitive new comment interface if the site itself wasn’t so poorly organized. Also about 10% of the content posts now are cross promotional posts from the network of sites. I still enjoy (some of) the content but the redesign has turned it into a poor viewing experience.

      • Hornacek

        And trying to estimate how many times you’ll have to press the “show more comments” button is impossible. With Disqus it shows you about 50 comments to start and each time you press the “Show More” button it shows you 50 more (so when I came back from lunch and saw that this page had ~750 comments I knew I’d have to push the button ~15 times).

        But with Kinja it shows you 1-2 comments to start, the first time you press the “Load more” button it shows you a whole bunch of comments, and each button press after that shows you 5-10 comments. It defies logic (oh, and don’t get me started on the “Show more replies like this” links).

        Yes, I do obsess over stuff like this.

    • the sky is falling

      Only 17 comments by noon the day after the show. wow

    • Poor Carrie.

  • Hornacek

    What the he’ll is Alan doing? You’re in good with a 4, don’t say “I know something’s going on.” to them.

    • sharculese

      I don’t think Alan has seen Survivor before.

      • Hornacek

        Has Alan dealt with people before?

  • Hornacek

    JP does what no one took Hali up on last season and gets naked. What is happening here?

  • sharculese

    These immunity statues are… fine.

    • It seems like the theme of the season is civilizing Fiji with train tracks into tribal and stuff.

  • the sky is falling

    Shouldn’t he have had to give opposing team advantage in front of everyone?
    Apparently he just tells production who to give it to?

    • sharculese

      Like should he have done it or should that have been the rule? Because the rules he read said not even the recipient would know where it came from.

      • the sky is falling

        Ah, didn’t see that, never mind

  • Hornacek

    Healers get last choice of puzzle and end up winning. I guess Tyson is right – it’s better to take what’s left than make a choice.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Tyson’s always right. After a couple of times.

      • Hornacek

        Also, Boston Rob is always right, but after 4 times.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    I feel like we’re moving towards either an Alan or a Chrissy boot, which sucks because they’re the two least bland Heroes. The only way we move forward is if Ryan gives one of them the idol and they play it correctly and/or Chrissy wants to play BRob/Sherri to Alan’s Philip/Shamar.

  • Hornacek

    Heroes lose the first challenge! A lot of people lost on that fantasy team choice.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    We’re not going to see who gets the idol are we? God, we’re not going to find out until it’s played.

    EDIT: Welp, never mind.

  • Hornacek

    Who will be voted out? One of the 5 players standing, or the one laying down vomiting? Hmm ..

  • Taako From Teevhii

    Somehow Ben is the best player on this tribe. Didn’t see that coming.

  • the sky is falling

    Ben with a “stick to the plan”

  • Hornacek

    Come on Ryan, give the superidol to the vomiter!

  • the sky is falling

    Surprisingly satisfying first episode. hopefully not downhill from here.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    So at this point, it looks like we’re either going to get a tie or Ashley goes home. If you’re Chrissy, you’re saving yourself and Katrina from a tie because holding the idol won’t help you save an ally next time. But do you break a tie and save Alan? Or do you let that play out as it will?

    • the sky is falling

      Playing it puts a target on you early, I’d let it play out unless they voted for me

      • purplerockandy

        Being a woman in your 40s puts a target on you early.

        • indescribable hat

          She’s lying about her age though, so she should be fine.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    OH FUCK TRIBAL LOOKS NOICE

    • sharculese

      It’s better than Game Changers but still not on the level of MvGX or Cambodia.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        True true true

      • BadPlayer91

        Reminded me of the little village in Africa.

        But it does look stupid, all these elaborate set pieces and they make them sit on the tiniest little stools and crates.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Railroad tracks!

      • Hornacek

        I hope a little train comes through at a future tribal.

    • Figaro

      Fiji was looking damn fine as well. Not sure if those islands they’re on are a new location or not, but the beaches and the palm trees were making me want to take a tropical holiday.

  • sharculese

    David Boreanaz you are almost 50. You know you only played an immortal killer on TV, right? Nobody believes you as an active duty Seal in 2017.

    • Alkanarra

      I’m more befuddled by Megan as their tactical commander.

    • indescribable hat

      To be fair he did a lot of his most visible aging while playing Angel.

    • BadPlayer91

      preach

    • gouis

      Keep gettin dem checks Boreanaz

    • I just finished the first season of Bojack Horseman and now have Boreanaz Brain.

    • StormofCuteness

      But he’s truly one of the nicest actors in Hollywood…so I get it.

  • Hornacek

    Ben thinks everything is settled – Katrina or Chrissy. Then he walks over to those 2 talking to Alan and the look on his face says “What the he’ll is Alan doing?”

  • Hornacek

    Note to future players: if you lose the first immunity challenge, vomit in front of everyone. Someone might give you a superidol.

    • sharculese

      This advice actually works in a lot of situations.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        It sure didn’t work on that public intoxication charge.

      • Hornacek

        It’s gotten me out of a lot of bad first dates.

  • sharculese

    JP AND ASHLEY ARE TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE AND YOU WON’T GET ALAN TO SAY OTHERWISE.

    • BadPlayer91

      OH THEY’RE SEPARATE PEOPLE, THEN DROP YOUR PANTS AND PROVE IT

  • Taako From Teevhii

    Oh boy, I read Alan real wrong.

    • indescribable hat

      Ugh I’m going to have to take him off my pick 4 team. I just don’t want to figure out who to replace him with. I’m really annoyed that he’s made a tiny bit of work for me.

      • the sky is falling

        No idea who’s on my team, hope I don’t have alan

      • Mike Hirsch

        I’m going to ride this out and see where it takes me.

        • SirLiveAlot

          Bold move

          • Purplerockmatt

            Cotton

          • corndogshuffle

            Let’s see if it pays off…

          • Mike Hirsch

            All about the BMs.

        • Alkanarra

          I’m all in on Alan. That kind of crazy is perfect to go deep because no one wants to get in its way. Also, my team consists of the only four non-Caucasians on the cast so I have no choice.

          What a great winners edit so far for Simone, I delusionally have to pretend.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I think Alan is either out by the merge or making it to FTC. He can go like Shamar/Dr. Pete or be dragged along like Philip/Brandon Hantz. But there’s no middle ground.

          • Mike Hirsch

            I’m there with you on Simone. After Lucy, it’s almost like Survivor is trolling us.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Jeez. I hope Simone doesn’t wait to speak until episode 3!

          • Alycia Swift

            And that she shushes someone.

            And autocorrect changed shushes to abuses.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Joe’s Dominican, if that helps you out at all.

      • Alycia Swift

        I’m thinking about it too. I forget. What is the deadline for fixing the team?

        • indescribable hat

          Before the second episode airs.

    • Ms_Woozah

      I haaaate that he’s turning into the Stereotype.

      Still good looking, though.

    • Hornacek

      I’m getting a Jimmy T. vibe from Alan.

  • sharculese

    YES ALAN, YOU COULD HAVE AFFORDED TO PUT YOUR FEET AND BE COMFORTABLE. AND YOU SHOULD HAVE.

    • the sky is falling

      He could have afforded to watch a single episode of survivor too

    • Diego Armando

      Being a paranoid madman wins you friends and the game. It worked out great for Jamie in Guatemala.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        But… He didn’t win.

  • Hornacek

    So can Chrissy play the superidol on just herself? If she can play it on anyone then spoiler alert, Ashley’s going home.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    what the fuck just happened?

  • sharculese

    Guy, I have the same shirt as Ben except mine is a boy’s size 12 because I am tiny.

  • Mike Hirsch

    Oh good, the show has continued its total lack of explanation for why allies vote out allies. Awesome.

    • the sky is falling

      #blindside #fuckyouaudience

    • gouis

      I mean basically she didn’t want to stick her neck out there if no one else would. I think it was a solid decision.

      • the sky is falling

        Guess I agree, in that, no reason to put a target on yourself early on as deceitful

      • Mike Hirsch

        Yes, but the show used to be better at showing us these things.

        • BadPlayer91

          My hope is they will make it more clear in the next episode, but yeah. Why not have a confessional where Chrissy weighs her options right before tribal? Then at least we understand them…

          • Mike Hirsch

            Yes! This!

          • Unfortunately, it seems like Chrissy just looked in her bag right before tribal which meant that her thought process was no clearly shown.

          • Hornacek

            I mean, how often does a person look in their bag? I understand that most people pack their things to go to tribal, but what are the odds someone is willed this superidol in a future season and doesn’t check their bag at all?

    • Figaro

      Maybe Chrissy thought she could sneak unnoticed through the Alan-JP-Ashley blowup that’s bound to continue, and if that’s the case it’s probably better not to stick your neck out to save Kristina – especially if she’s worried that revealing she had an idol could cause Alan to turn on her.

      • Prom King

        especially if she’s worried that revealing she had an idol could cause Alan to turn on her.

        Exactly. All of that focus on Alan’s nonsense also served as a sideways explanation of Chrissy’s decision. Using that idol would have had one result: she’s next out. She still may be next out, but at least she didn’t stick her neck out begging to be next out by saving who the group was against. Not using it is giving her a chance to maybe ride with Alan and the marine.

        • purplerockandy

          So… she went from a situation where she had to flip Alan AND Ben to… a situation where she has to flip Alan AND Ben.

          BRILLIANT!

          • Prom King

            It’s the first week, I don’t think she’s flipping anyone. Sticking her neck out by using a hidden immunity gets a second focus on her in addition to her age. Not sticking her neck out means more time to lay low and develop something with Ben and Alan.

          • purplerockandy

            So, your argument is that the person that was the obvious next boot should avoid doing anything to change that because it could… make her the obvious next boot?

            And by avoiding doing anything, she can now flip someone, even thought that’s also a thing you also state is impossible.

            So if I’m hearing you right, your argument is essentially “there’s nothing someone like her can do anyway, so why bother trying”. Admirable.

          • Prom King

            You can use circular logic on me all you want, Andy. All I’m saying is that she is not unnecessarily giving them a second reason to vote her out. Gives her more freedom to continue cozying up to Ben and Alan and doesn’t escalate Alan’s paranoia. Nothing admirable or brilliant about it; what it is is common sense.

            I’m really not sure how many more ways I can explain this to help you understand. Since you clearly have such strong feelings about it, perhaps you can explain how using the super idol would have been a brilliant, admirable plan that definitely gets her further in the game. I can’t imagine that you’d just want her use it because it would be a BIG MOVE!

          • purplerockandy

            I’ll admit, I’m probably using this as a sparring session to warm up for the main event tonight.

          • Prom King

            I’m looking forward to hearing it!

          • Streets_Ahead

            From the exit interview stuff I read it sounds like it was always more like Chrissy was with Alan and Ben rather than Katrina and Chrissy. It was just edited this way to make the episode more dramatic. Katrina even seems to think Chrissy was trying to make Katrina the target to be voted out. You can still disagree with her decisions but it doesn’t sound like Katrina was ever Chrissy’s ally so it wouldn’t have been saving an ally by playing an idol on her, and would have gone against two people who sound like she might be more close with in reality in Alan and Ben. Plus now that it’s a 5 member tribe and she know Alan is wary of JP and Ashley as a pair/possibly having an idol. Alan might have baked into a corner where he needs Ben and Chrissy to not risk a 2 v 2 split against JP and Ashley. It doesn’t assure Ben but if he sides with JP and Ashley they might be more likely to go after Alan than Chrissy.

        • Hornacek

          Alan is already anti-Ashley and JP. It wouldn’t take much for Chrissy to convince him to flip over to her side. Hell, she could have shown him the idol before tribal and said “We’re getting Ashley out, and then Katrina and I will join with you to be the majority.”

          • Prom King

            In the first few days, I think it would take a lot. Alan is a crazy player and Ben seems like a conservative player. Chrissy needs some time to play up to them before they’d contemplate mixing it up. Strength usually goes with strength in the early days.

          • Hornacek

            In the first 3 days, Alan went from being confident in his 4-player alliance to openly accusing 2 of them that they have an idol and are a power couple, even after JP strips naked and turns out his pockets to prove he doesn’t have an idol.

            I agree about Ben – he is going to take his time to make the right decision. But Alan is, as we’ve seen, very erratic. I think Chrissy (or just about anyone) would be able to convince Alan to switch alliances if they convinced him that they could get rid of Ashley and JP.

            Of course, all of this may be moot, as some exit interviews have shown that Chrissy was targeting Katrina almost immediately, so even though they were in the #MomSquad, they weren’t going to work together.

          • Prom King

            some exit interviews have shown that Chrissy was targeting Katrina almost immediately

            Oh that’s interesting. Huh. Although I guess not surprising, now that I think about it. I will have to check out some exit interviews.

          • Hornacek

            I haven’t listened/read any yet, but the headline for Dalton Ross’ interview on Twitter says something like that.

      • Mike Hirsch

        Right, but the show should have, you know, given us some insight into that. Any insight. At all. I don’t want to have to speculate about what I just saw. If Survivor’s gonna be like this, then fuck it, just play Don’t Stop Believing at the end of every challenge, cut to black, and then let us figure out for ourselves who got voted out.

        • These Words

          If you go back to episode 367, minute 13, an iguana ate a bug. This proves that Tony was voted out.

  • Hornacek

    Ben brings up the theme of the season at tribal. Jeff will likely go to ben a lot in future tribals.

    • BadPlayer91

      Mutual Ben-Jeff handjobs FOR EVERYONE

      He also went to Ben on the boat. He will probably spend the season asking amazing questions like “Ben, how does being a hero help you in this situation?” or “Ben, as a Marine, how does this affect you?”

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        “Ben, we can turn off these confessional cameras if you want to.”

        • sharculese

          “Or we can… leave them on.”

          • BadPlayer91

            So, we’re gonna write a fan-fiction right? I’ve got a lot of ideas…

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            He was already gonna leave them on.

      • sharculese

        “Ben, last time we had Marine on the show he turned out to be a crybaby who had to go home because he got sand in his eye. But you won’t let me down, right buddy?”

      • Hornacek

        Jeff is probably just excited to have a cowboy on the show who actually talks.

    • Jeff literally had hearts in his eyes when Ben talked at Tribal

      • Hornacek

        Jeff was thinking “This is the cowboy I wanted in South Pacific but never got!” (plus the whole military thing)

        • It’s like if Rancher Rick and Mike Holloway combined.

          • Hornacek

            Jeff: (swoons)

  • wonderand

    Chrissy’s apparently taking the “there can only be one ‘old’ woman” path, and I think it could work for her? Better than saving Katrina in a 4-2, anyway.

    • bassmanxvi

      1 point for Highlander

  • gouis

    Man Alan’s really not making a good impression Re: this whole CTE thing.

  • Hornacek

    Jeff should have said “If anybody has a normal hidden immunity idol and you want to play it …” just to see the reactions.

  • sharculese

    “I will always be an Olympian.”

    Hey, Katrina, that’s what the last Olympian who was on Survivor thought, and well…

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Ha!

    • corndogshuffle

      Well, at least she doesn’t have any medals to lose if she ever gets caught doping.

  • Hornacek

    What the hell? Why didn’t Chrissy play the superidol for Katrina? Doesn’t she know she’s next?

    Although maybe it’s non-transferable. We need confirmation on this.

    • sharculese

      “Hey guys I know it’s gonna sound like bullshit but this special idol was just in my bag and I don’t know where it came from.”

      That is not gonna sell. If she plays the idol for Katrina she’s still next, because now she’s Chrissy who finds idols, only she doesn’t actually know how to find idols and doesn’t have the one she didn’t have to work for.

      • Hornacek

        She has the note saying you have been willed this idol.

        • sharculese

          Unless she did the smart thing and destroyed it.

          • purplerockandy

            You’re really going with “destroying the instructions to a fairly confusing new Survivor tool is the smart play” one season after Cirie was made to look the fool for not reading her instructions carefully?

            Bold.

          • Hornacek

            None of these people saw that happen to Cirie. The last GC episode they saw before shipping out was where Malcolm got voted out.

          • purplerockandy

            Sure, but Sharc has. So he should know better.

        • indescribable hat

          And it seemed like maybe Alan would flip if he could flip alone… I can see reasons for going either way, so I’m going to hope she made the right call with more information than we have. And now she has a great fake idol for the future!

          • sharculese

            There are very few situations where “burn an idol on vote 1” is the right call, and if you’re in that decision making space you’re probably already not winning.

          • indescribable hat

            Except this idol is gone after vote one either way, so there’s less downside to playing it than there usually is. And perhaps this early in the game there’s more potential to reshape alliances by saving someone.

            I actually really like this idol because it’s giving us something to think/talk about on the first vote.

          • sharculese

            It is? I missed that part.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Everyone really skipped all the preseason stuff huh?

          • sharculese

            Yes. All of it.

          • Hornacek

            I forgot about this superidol even though I heard about it in the preseason, but we had 2-3 scenes where someone says that this superidol can only be played at the first tribal.

          • sharculese

            I must have ignored that part on the grounds that keeping it in the game and making people pass it on until it’s used is the only way to make this gimmick interesting or useful.

          • Hornacek

            Ryan mentioned it when he read the note out loud, and again when he told Devon.
            Chrissy mentioned it when she read the note out loud.

            It was labelled in the note as a “superidol”, not a “legacy idol”, meaning it was not like the legacy advantage. I am fine with a superidol that can only be used at the first tribal. I would not be fine if it could be passed on like the LA and could only be used at the final 6

          • sharculese

            Well, yeah, it’s not a legacy. You pass it on when you AREN’T in danger of going home. And it would have to expire at the merge, since you can’t pass it to someone on the losing tribe after that point.

          • Hornacek

            Right, but this one specifically states that it’s only good at the first tribal. It can’t be passed on after that.

          • sharculese

            I get it said that. I just think that was a mistake.

          • Hornacek

            On KIA they showed an excerpt from an interview a few months (?) ago with Jeff and Josh Wigler where Jeff described the idol note that told its owner that it could be used at the first tribal only, or you could choose to use it to fool your tribe (i.e. keep it after the first tribal as a fake idol).

          • sharculese

            I’m not sure what point you think you’re making here? I get that those were the rules they designed. I don’t think they designed the rules right.

          • Hornacek

            You’re right, I think we were both on different tracks here.

            So let’s reset. Why do you say that they didn’t design the rules right?

          • sharculese

            Leave it in the game. If Chrissy doesn’t play it, it’s hers until she’s safe from tribal council, at which point she has to give it to someone who isn’t.

            Ideally this creates a situation where more and more people slowly gain knowledge of the idol, but not where it is or how it got there. Maybe some high level strategy involved in who you give it to/predict has it.

          • Hornacek

            No, I don’t agree. Viewers don’t like superidols, as I think we found out in Cagayan. Having a non-expiring superidol in the game this early would be a terrible decision. The reason this one was a good idea is because it had an expiration date

          • sharculese

            Caring about what other people want out of the show? That’s not very Purple Rock of you, Hornacek.

            But it’s different from the normal situation where you can just wave it around and say ‘nope, can’t vote me out,’ which is what makes it better. As soon as the Heroes won a challenge Chrissy would be vulnerable again.

          • Hornacek

            I’m pretty sure almost all of the comments here during Cagayan were against the idea of the superidol (aka The Tyler Perry Idol) being brought back. So I think I’m being PR.

          • indescribable hat

            Yup. Now I see why you were so set against her using it.

          • Hornacek

            I think Chrissy would have a better chance of getting Alan on her side if it was Chrissy and Katrina trying to convince him than if it was just Chrissy.

            Now, Chrissy is all alone against 4 players. But if she had played her idol for Katrina, she could convince Alan the three of them (Chrissy, Katrina, Alan) would be the majority.

          • the sky is falling

            Only possible scenario where it’s a good play is if all votes are for you

          • BadPlayer91

            At first I didn’t agree, but now I think I do. I mean, I think I could argue some other situations, but yeah, not many.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            It would probably be a good call if the plurality of votes are for you.

          • Hornacek

            I really want an episode where someone finds and idol and reads the note which says “This is a hidden immunity idol. Once you finish reading this note, eat the note.”

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            “But… It’s written on a block of wood!”

          • Hornacek

            Francesqua: (watching from home) Eat that block of wood!

          • the sky is falling

            So, how do we tell if she is made of wood?

          • Hornacek

            This sounds like a question @Barbara Anderson would know the answer to.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I love the idea of using it as a fake idol. That’s a fantastic play. Unless of course, Ryan is the one to stumble upon the rehidden fake idol.

          • Violina23

            I pray to the Survivor gods that this fake idol thing happens….

      • BadPlayer91

        Also, if she plays the idol, she can’t say “I voted with you” because she voted one of the 4 (no matter how flaky they are) out, and thus she antagonizes them and makes it really hard to get herself out of the bottom. Now, she didn’t vote one of them off, can say she voted with them, and can find the cracks in that alliance without seeming like she’s playing to hard.

        Though, no one can possibly look like they are playing too hard when Alan is within 100 miles.

        • indescribable hat

          Didn’t she vote with Katrina?

          • BadPlayer91

            Nope. Vote was 5-1. Chrissy Voted Katrina.

            My guess being, after the Alan freakout at tribal, she knew it would be one of them, and decided to throw her vote Katrina and use the idol only if she needs. Once you get that info, I think it speaks a lot better to Chrissy’s strategy.

          • indescribable hat

            Yeah that definitely makes a difference. I even wonder if she was told.

            I had a very clear memory of two Ashley votes, which is a little worrying.

          • StormofCuteness

            Yipes! And so young too. Hehehe.

          • Diego Armando

            It’s probably better to lie low, since Alan vs. JPashley will likely be the focus of the next vote.

      • purplerockandy

        Why wouldn’t it sell? Her being able to play it after the vote clearly indicates that this is something new and different. But being a little MORE different would be beyond the pale?

        • i and 1

          Yeah. Was she unable to show everyone the parchment explaining it or something?

          • Hornacek

            As far as I know, there is no rule that says you cannot show other players the note that comes with the HII.

        • sharculese

          That’s a good point, and it probably would play that way most of the time. But Chrissy is out there with Alan, who appears to have prepped for Survivor by watching TSA training videos.

    • Ms_Woozah

      I guess she thought with her gone they could win challenges? I would have voted for the flashier option personally, but she’s playing it safe.

      • Hornacek

        Pretty much every online prognosticator was saying that Heroes would probably not lose a challenge before the swap.

        Maybe I missed it but I didn’t see Katrina doing anything to make them lose the challenge. So it’s possible they’ll win the next challenges, but I am less sure of that now than I was before the premiere.

        • Roswulf

          I think this challenge was largely random. Everything before the maze was just theater…and they weren’t ever using the same maze (nor was it obvious which maze was the right choice).

          I don’t think this loss means the Heroes are weak at challenges…but it does flag how random such things are.

          • Hornacek

            It wasn’t random that the Heroes made it to the maze first and got first pick – they got there because they were physically strong (although it wasn’t a blowout – 2nd place seemed very close). They made the bad decision of which maze to do – the maze-runners didn’t seem like they were bad at it, it was just the longest maze with the longest path.

            Challenges are full of decisions like this – who does what, who goes next, etc. If they keep making bad decisions like this, future challenges could go very bad.

            Or they could win every challenge after this until the swap. Who knows?

          • Roswulf

            I just don’t think there was any real skill in guessing the right maze. The difference in difficulty comes down to small differences in calibration that couldn’t be determined without, well, using the maze.

            The “reward” for getting to the maze first by a nose was thus illusory. Whole thing was ultimately a coin flip (unless one team was shockingly bad at things…but none of them were). As are a lot of challenges in modern Survivor.

          • Hornacek

            The maze the Heroes chose, it has the least opportunity for the ball to fall off the maze into the gutters. There were many maze walls, and only a few points on both sides where the ball could fall into the gutter. The other two mazes had no walls at all at the gutters so if the wall went towards the edge it was going into the gutter.

            The one with the single track down the center – once they figured out the trick, it was easy (it looked like there were small alternating walls along the edge of that track, which is why they were tilting the maze left and then right and then back again as the ball went down the track. Once they had that rhythm, it was pretty easy to get the ball from the start of the track to the end.

          • Roswulf

            Let’s take the single track maze. There’s a version of that maze that looks identical….but has a slightly slippier finish, and therefore is much harder than the maze chosen by the Heroes. And in that scenario, the Heroes choice works out great!

            My point is they didn’t have enough information to make an informed choice. There’s no benefit to being the one’s guessing about how a ball will roll on a particular wood finish. They ended up choosing wrong, but that gives us no information on the Heroes’ challenge ability going forward, any more than if they had wrongly called heads on a coin flip.

          • Hornacek

            Are you being hypothetical about the other version of the maze? Because besides the single track maze, and the literal maze, the other maze was not identical to the single track maze at all. It had multiple triangular obstacles in it that they had to get the balls past. And the ball did not have to stay in the single track in the center – it could go across the entire maze’s width.

            And of course they didn’t have enough information to make an informed choice. Like any challenge, after Jeff describes it to them, they have to make decisions then. But the three mazes (which they clearly saw when Jeff was describing the challenge; they were standing right next to them) were each different from the others. It’s like the season (Worlds Apart?) where they had the choice of the 5, 25, or 100 (?) piece puzzle.

            My point is that the Hustlers had no choice of the maze – they had to take what was left. And they smoked the other tribes. The Heroes had first choice, and they chose the one that took the longest time. Poor planning and poor decision making.

          • Roswulf

            I just don’t see any evidence of poor planning or poor decision making here. I think they made an arbitrary choice and were wrong.

            It’s as if you gave a bunch of Survivors the footage of three thoroughbred horses running and asked them to pick the one to bet on in a race. Yes, one horse is probably faster than the others. With expertise, someone might even be able to make that choice easily. But under the conditions of Survivor they have no ability to analyze that choice meaningfully. So if they pick the right one, it shows no more skill than if they picked the wrong one. They just got lucky.

            I think the Heroes just got unlucky here.

            To be clear, I feel the same way about the puzzle choices. Those aren’t truly strategic or analytical choices, they just create the illusion of strategy. There’s too much missing information to make anything but an arbitrary decision.

            And to return to the top, all of this means that I don’t think the Heroes losing this challenge makes them any less likely to win next week. Even if they had to make the puzzle choice, I don’t think this makes them any less likely to choose correctly and win.

          • Hornacek

            In Katrina’s First One Out interview (done the day after she was voted out) she told Josh that she thought they should have picked the maze with the track down the middle, and told her tribe that, but the rest of them decided it would be better to take the maze-like one. So yes, they made a choice and they were wrong. Everyone had plenty of time to examine the 3 mazes before the challenge started; they didn’t just get to the mazes during the challenge and say “Ok, we’ve never seen these mazes before, we have to make a split-second decision of which one to take.” They had already decided before the challenge that if they got a choice, they would pick the maze-like one. So I’ll still say that was poor planning on their part.

            Will the Heroes lose next time? I have no idea. But I do not one of the most important things in 3 tribe seasons is momentum. If you get it by winning challenges, you’re more likely to win the next one. But if you lose a challenge, your chances of losing the next one is greater. Add that to the tribe being completely dysfunctional at this point, and I would be really surprised if they were able to get it together next time and not lose.

          • purplerockandy

            Before every challenge, the competitors are taken through each aspect of the challenge and are allowed to ask questions. They had time to see each maze.

          • Hornacek

            Exactly. Those tribes had at least half an hour to inspect all aspects of that challenge, including all 3 mazes. They had plenty of time to make a tribe decision about which maze they would pick if they got the choice.

        • Personally, I wondered if Heroes would be the disaster tribe after Probst mentioned that there was a lot of egos on that tribe. Quick reminder: Probst, stop spoiling stuff in your interviews.

          • Hornacek

            He’s already saying in interviews that this season has an amazing and dramatic finale, and that the viewers will go into rooting for one player and may end up rooting for “the other player”. He doesn’t come right out and say it, but it sounds like he’s talking about a final two (or there could just be a 3rd finalist who everyone knows has zero chance). But don’t tell us that the finale is “dramatic” and that the person we are rooting for will change during it – if we go into the finale and JP is the obvious choice to win, then we’ll know that likely something will happen to make us turn on him and root for “the other player”.

            I’d rather have him reverting to Worlds Apart Probst and just tell us that this is the best cast he’s ever seen and not tell us anything else about the season.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    How do we feel about the fact that Simone screams “gone by the swap” but got literally got less screen time than Lauren?

    • Mike Hirsch
    • gouis

      Who?

    • sharculese

      Dunno what you’re talking about. My edgic shows Simone is getting a classic QX17RW Platinum winnner’s edit.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        That is so last year. Now it’s all about the QX17RW Platinum 2000 with qluadrophonic speakers. Feel that bass?

        • gouis

          The Plat 2000 just sounds warmer

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            But that could include the QX16RW. I don’t like it.

        • sharculese

          The 2000 recalculations make a mess of the Attention hexagons. I joined an offshoot edgic group that rejects the new methodology – r/enlightenededgic. They have a fascinating 20 page paper on how 2000 only works if you make abrupt changes to the positivity axes, and even then, it’s still off by about 1.4 object points on average.

          • gouis

            I could read this shit alllll day

          • sharculese

            Good news, I may have come up with a way to extend the gimmick. It’s been long enough since Michele that I need a new bit.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Who?

          • At least Michele got a confessional in her premiere episode.

          • Hornacek

            “Memorizing drink orders is easy!”

        • Hornacek
      • Taako From Teevhii

        I don’t mean to “actually” your joke Sharc, but QX1 means third juror

        • gouis

          Does it really? Holy shit are they up their own ass.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Are you guys really speaking edgic?

        • sharculese

          Please tell me you mean, like, in a courtroom.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I love that none of you can tell if that’s real or a joke.

          • gouis

            We’re just a bunch of olds who have no idea what the kids use these days

          • sharculese

            On the one hand, I don’t see how you’d need an edgic tag for a juror. On the other hand, I think little enough of edgic to believe they’d do it anyway.

  • the sky is falling

    Have to say, worst play of this episode was Alan, he had the crazy Brandon Hantz eyes for half the show

    • Kingoftonga

      Meanwhile Ben the jolly bearded Marine seemed chill as fuck. Makes for a nice pairing

      • the sky is falling

        Yeah, I was worried about Ben, he was lookin good

      • mratfink

        Ben is the only person that is really standing out to me thus far and I really like him.

        • Taako From Teevhii

          Wait, what, what is this?

          • Purplerockmatt

            Looks like someone else migrated over from the avclub

          • gouis

            Nice try

          • Purplerockmatt

            Don’t make me out your alt

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            He’s Jim, isn’t he!

          • gouis

            FUCK YOU SNP1!!11!

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I think @hornacek:disqus was right about that gif earlier today.

          • Hornacek

            Somebody mentioned my name? What’s going on?

          • sharculese

            That is not a very nice thing to say about someone.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            He could’ve called him Buzz.

          • gouis

            You mean the time I created a fake Jason Whitlock account to comment on some 30 for 30s?

          • Purplerockmatt

            yeah sure we’ll go with that

          • Hornacek

            Sigh. I miss all the gimmick AVClub accounts – LeslieKnopeHeadlines, all the Batman villains on the Gotham reviews, the DS9 characters on the DS9 reviews, JudgeReinhold …

          • Amanda LaPergola

            You mean…that wasn’t really Judge Rienhold?

          • sharculese

            It was actually 3 eight-year-old boys in a trench coat.

          • Hornacek

            He just disappeared one day. Nobody knows where he went.

          • Other Scott

            This reminds me of back when I called you Finky and annoyed you about Jon Misch.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          I thought you were banned from this site!

          • Purplerockmatt

            He must have snuck in. Gotta look to beef up our security

        • Diego Armando

          Ben is easily my favorite person out here so far. I think he will be a big player this season.

      • Roswulf

        I agree, but all he really did was sit there and nod and make banal comments while Alan went crazy.

        Not a great episode for people who aren’t a fan of the crazy.

      • Amanda LaPergola

        Together, they fight crime!

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      He was surprisingly terrible

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        Surprisingly?

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          Well, terrible in a surprising way. I guess I just thought he would be a cheerful strategic non-entity.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            In his little bio he pretty much said that he was unbearable to be around when he was hungry. I was just surprised that he got this nutty this fast.

          • the sky is falling

            I am now hoping that he is like a weaponized, jacked up Phillip Sheppard. Crazy, but built like a tank.
            Get out the way!

          • Hornacek

            Just don’t call him crazy!

  • Hornacek

    The Olympic swimmer didn’t even make it to a swimming challenge??? Boo!

    • Roswulf

      The Olympic swimmer who can’t sell “I’m an Olympic swimmer- we are on an island. Vote out older lady 2.” is an Olympic swimmer I don’t want sticking around.

      I mean, that’s a strong pitch.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        This. Exactly. “Vote our older lady 2. Who barfed after the challenge. Did I mention I’m an Olympian?”

        That said, Chrissy is my winner pick, so I’m glad it didn’t go that way. Iguess she’s getting the David Wright edit.

      • i and 1

        True, and I basically agree, but for the obvious counterpoint: that isn’t the kind of sell we would expect from an Olympian, like, a desperate plea for others to vanquish my teammate. I wonder how she’d feel about herself, as a fan of the show (?), if she had done that.

        Really, yeah, she coulda at least dropped hints, without an aggressive pitch.

      • Hornacek

        She should have known, once she saw her tribe, that she would be on the bottom. I’d be doing everything to convince them that I had worth in the challenges.

        I wasn’t paying attention to her in the challenge, but she didn’t seem to be doing that badly, was she? If the Healers had lost, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Joe as a possible vote-off, considering it was day 3 and he far behind the rest of this tribe in that challenge, barely able to climb up that ladder.

  • I was wondering why Katrina until her final words which made it clear to me that she was more annoying around camp then what we saw this episode

    • BadPlayer91

      She was also over 40. #GETOFFMYISLANDYOUOLDPEOPLE

      • Kingoftonga

        Gotta vote out the Olympic athletes to “keep the tribe strong”

        • BadPlayer91

          Particularly if they are old women. #nooldwomen #nowomen #no

          • Hornacek

            “Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are not good at everything.”

      • Streets_Ahead

        I thought the phrase ‘my island’ was banned here.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      Her final words were completely mismatched with what we saw in the episode….not that I’m complaining.

    • StormofCuteness

      I really wish we had seen it because otherwise, wtf?

  • Hornacek

    We’ll this was fun, and only 4 minutes over. And now I don’t have to rush to my computer to organize my notes and post it.

    Now off to sleep where I’m a Viking!

  • the sky is falling

    Is this where we talk about general feelings for this season? I’m feeling good, that was a solid start, but could easily go sideways still

  • Blurry Denzel
    • Streets_Ahead

      Were those people in this episode? If don’t think I recognize any of them. Especially the person in the middle.

      • Blurry Denzel

        Devon is the surf instructor who Ryan approached as an alliance partner. Simone was on camera a couple of times. Desi had just one confessional because Survivor hates me.

        • Diego Armando

          I think you may be chugging one of those soon.

        • Streets_Ahead

          Ok so he was one of the ‘generic white guys’ just wasn’t clear which.. Desi’s confessional must have been bland I don’t recall it at all. I might rewatch the episode as I feel like I don’t even know who half the people are.

  • indescribable hat

    I know complaining about the way the youth use “literally” is very popular, but you’re just pretending not to understand hyperbole to sound smart.

    • the sky is falling

      As long as you don’t defend shitheads saying ‘like’ every third word, I can support this

      • indescribable hat

        I’ll defend “to be like” as in “to say” as having a specific, useful meaning, but peppering speech with filler likes is unfortunate.

        • the sky is falling

          if you are talking about “he was like” and “then i was like” then again no. Why not use ‘he said” or “she said”

          The Office would have really sucked if Michael Scotts’ catchphrase was
          “that’s what she was like…”

          • indescribable hat

            It has a subtly different meaning. You use “to be like” when you want to reenact a conversation, using direct quotes and possibly silly voices, but you aren’t guaranteeing that you’re quoting accurately. “He was like” essentially means “he said and acted something like this.”

          • the sky is falling

            Dunno, it pushes my buttons, it’s a crutch as much as saying um and ah in my mind, I can barely follow what people are saying when they do that

      • corndogshuffle

        There was a guy like that in one of my college classes. We started tapping our pencils every time he did it. He never caught on but the professor definitely struggled to keep her composure.

    • DrVanNostrand

      That was LITERALLY the dumbest comment I’ve ever read.

    • purplerockandy

      But… the entire reason for the existence of the word literally is to delineate between when you are using hyperbole and when you’re not? Like, that’s the word’s job: “hey, I know we’ve made this thing I’m about to say into a figure of speech or use it to exaggerate the truth, but in this case I am not doing that and I will clarify that by stating that what I’m about to say is, in fact, true”.

      • indescribable hat

        But it’s easy to tell the difference and we do this all the time with other words. No one flips out if you say, “I really and truly could have killed that woman on the train,” even though really and truly are “meant” to be used to clarify that you’re being sincere. It’s just a fixation on a newly common usage because we always need to panic about the downfall of society and kids these days.

        • purplerockandy

          It’s fixation on a newly common usage that LITERALLY means the opposite of the definition of the word, thereby illustrating that the user has no idea what the word they’re using means.

          I’m all for the evolving nature of language. But this is a stupid evolution.

          • Hornacek

            Anyone that misuses the word “literally” should be made to watch a supercut of Parks and Rec’s Chris Traeger saying “literally”

          • indescribable hat

            It doesn’t mean the opposite though. It’s just exaggeration. If I say, “It was so hot today that my eyeballs figuratively boiled out of my head,” then I’ve just undercut my whole crazy complaint and I’m not even being melodramatic anymore. But if I tell you my eyeballs literally boiled out of my head, I’m really committing! I mean it’s obviously an absurd lie, but we both know that. Using “literally” is just a way to pile on the absurdity, to up the hyperbole.

            This is not even an evolution of language thing. The meaning of the word has not changed. It’s just being used to intensify exaggerated statements by claiming that they’re true, in the same way other words and phrases may be. “Hand to God, this guy was fifteen feet tall.” “I honestly think that was the worst soup ever created on Earth.”

            Sure it’s funny that we use “literally” when speaking figuratively, but it’s not wrong. It’s a figure of speech.

          • purplerockandy

            You’re wrong.

          • indescribable hat

            😛

          • Hornacek

            WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

      • indescribable hat

        The idea that literally should be the one word that is off limits for non-literal use is interesting but doesn’t strike me as practical or necessary. Of course we’ll use the not-lying tag to lie, we do that with all of them, but we’re still able to let people know when we’re being serious, it’s just a little more nuanced.

  • Kingoftonga

    So dropping one’s pants to prove the lack of an idol sets a horrible precedent for future seasons of Survivor

    • gouis

      I like that he had to jiggle his dick around to prove it

      • sharculese

        Check CBS tomorrow for the deleted scene where he goes full goatse.

        • Mike Hirsch

          Or, you know, don’t. Please don’t.

          • sharculese

            More goatse for me.

        • Really hoping some of the young commenters around here are like “What’s a goatse? Guess I’ll Google it and find out.”

          • sharculese

            I just checked and you have to scroll down to like the 8th row of GIS to see the real thing.

          • gouis

            Then what’s even the point of GIS?

          • Roswulf

            I guess that’s…good?

          • sharculese

            How do we expect the kids to know about goatse if they don’t know how to find it?

          • BadPlayer91

            As someone in the urban planning profession, I was very confused about why you’re using Graphic Information Systems to search for images. Like, the only images in ArcGIS are base maps…

          • That’s me.

          • So glad you could catch up on this bit of internet history.

          • I didn’t look it up, but I was very tempted.

          • And now I’m back to being disappointed in you.

          • Aren’t you always disappointed in me?

          • It’s my default, sure. You are Midwestern, after all.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        Well, he couldn’t bend over and cough, or else the idol would get loose and fall out.

      • BadPlayer91

        We clearly had the wrong angle. What a disappointment. This season is already terrible.

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        gotta prove it’s not a decoy

        • Taako From Teevhii

          Not to be crude, but that’s called a dildo, Ms. S.

          • indescribable hat

            We certainly wouldn’t want to be crude.

          • BadPlayer91

            PENIS

          • sharculese

            PENIS

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I said the word “butthole” to my doctor a month ago because it felt weird to say “anus” or sphincter”.

          • sharculese

            One time when I was in college my roommate was in his room with his girlfriend, and just as they were staring into each other’s eyes and about to progress to under the clothes stuff, they heard me yell through the wall “buttholes, buttholes, buttholes,” like in a voice like I was slinging hotdogs at a 1920s baseball game.

            And she started laughing and it killed the moment.

            I didn’t know they were home and didn’t even remember doing it until my roommate asked me about it the next day. For a week after he kept asking me “why’d you do it, man? I’m not mad, I just wanna know… why?” I didn’t have a good answer.

          • BadPlayer91

            Buttholes here, get your buttholes here. Only five dollars! steaming fresh buttholes here!

          • sharculese

            Which really, is what hot dogs are…

          • BadPlayer91

            For my Survivor Party we ordered some food that uses cricket-flour as a play on the gross food challenge, including cricket chips and cricket cookies. I brought the leftover cookies into the office and one of my coworkers refused to eat one because it’s made of bugs, but she was eating a hot dog while she said that….

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            So then swinging it around wouldn’t really help, huh

      • Maritimer

        Semi-serious question: how big is it that Alan might have thought it was an idol? On a scale of 1 to Troyzan?

        • gouis

          0.75 Troys

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            #FallOfJP’sTroyzan

          • sharculese

            That’s the name of my mathcore band!

          • gouis

            I would prefer 0.75 Troyhat

          • DrVanNostrand

            Sounds like it should be the name of a band that got together to promote the gold standard.

        • DrVanNostrand

          Alan really took a good look at it, too. He bent over and examined those nether regions like he was Mike the Urologist.

    • corndogshuffle

      Hali opened the door, JP kicked it off the hinges and set it on fire.

    • BadPlayer91

      I mean, In amazon we had women stripping for peanut butter

      But agreed. Particularly give the #idolstripsearch. I look forward for to all the men stripping, and I dread where castaways asking women to strip will lead.

    • Maritimer

      Or a good one

    • PurpleTally

      Multiple former survivors have gotten naked during challenges as a strategy. There is a precedent for nudity based strategy.

      • Roswulf

        I think there’s a meaningful difference between GETTING naked strategically, and pressuring others to get naked strategically. The former is generally OK*, the latter does set a bad precedent.

        *BIG RICHARD HATCH IN ALL STARS ASTERISK

    • Other Scott

      Horrible?

    • Counterpoint: No.

  • Violina23

    I feel very apathetic about this season… I think Game Changers broke me.

    Hopefully some solid gameplay is coming up…

    • Kingoftonga

      Game Changers sort of feels like a bad dream? Very little about that season has stuck with me. This season already seems more promising, but I tend to be too optimistic about season premieres

      • SirLiveAlot

        ….I liked Game Changers

        • Diego Armando

          That’s fine. I didn’t hate it so much as was colossally disappointed by it.

      • Violina23

        The power of low expectations….

      • sharculese

        My memories of Game Changers are so hazy that I spent part of today trying to remember how Woo got voted out.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Silly Sharculese! Woo was in MvGX, not Game Changers!

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Same. I’m usually excited to rewatch recent seasons to see if they hold up and catch anything I missed, but with GC…I think I’m good.

      • Prom King

        I like remembering the pre-merge.

        The other day I tried to remember who won. But my mind rebelled and it just didn’t come to me. Had to look it up!

    • gouis

      I feel stoked about this season, because GC has set my bar incredibly low.

    • corndogshuffle

      I think there is almost a 0% chance that this isn’t better than Game Changers. This episode was nothing spectacular, but I’m glad I watched it. Whenever I’m underwhelmed by a season premier episode I remind myself that Redemption Island has a surprisingly fun opener.

      • Violina23

        I agree… I’m just still cranky about Game Changers. I think I’ll feel better next week

    • Alkanarra

      Remember when Cirie, Aubry, Tai, and Michaela were all in the Final 7 and it somehow still sucked?

      • corndogshuffle

        Don’t forget Troy.

        • Violina23

          #SummerOfTroyzan

          • corndogshuffle

            #ClickClickClick

          • Taako From Teevhii

            We’re past the Equinox.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            You are my favorite!

        • DrVanNostrand

          I don’t remember a Troy, but I do vaguely recall a giant dong attached to some weird, weaselly looking dude.

      • Streets_Ahead

        I don’t know how I missed this earlier but I had totally forgot Michaela made the final 7. It’s shocking how few memorable moments that season had looking back a few months later. Basically everything post Sandra is forgettable of memorable for bad reasons. Remember this anyone who plays on a future season with Sandra.

        • Curse of Sandra. Next time just give her another million. Don’t fight it people.

    • Kent McK

      I just like to pretend Game Changers didn’t happen

  • Star Z

    Im glad I didn’t pick Alan for the fantasy league after watching this. He’s going to get voted out because he’s too jumpy and distrusts everyone.

    • corndogshuffle

      I feel way better about my Mike pick after tonight. Alan terrifies me but I’m gonna stay on this train and see where it takes me. Ryan is my winner pick and I saw nothing to change that tonight, while I don’t have much of a read on Roark yet.

      • Star Z

        I picked Ryan as one of my fantasy league picks. He seems like a really strategic player based on the first episode.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          I’m just happy I’ve picked the villain.

          • sharculese

            Did you pick the villain, or did the villain pick you?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Mind = blown

      • I don’t know about Mike. I also picked him for the potential Dave Wright upside (which I assume is why most people who picked him did so), but I feel like if someone like him is going to go far, he would’ve had more screentime in this episode. Maybe that’ll change once the Healers go to tribal.

      • I don’t know about Mike. I also picked him for the potential Dave Wright upside (which I assume is why most people who picked him did so), but I feel like if someone like him is going to go far, he would’ve had more screentime in this episode. Maybe that’ll change once the Healers go to tribal

        • Diego Armando

          He got a fair amount of screen time. I wouldn’t read too much into it.

  • Violina23

    P.S. I missed you guys! *group hug*

  • Mike Hirsch

    I liked Roark. She seems like someone fun to watch.
    I liked Simone. She was there too.

    • purplerockandy

      Was it when she was lifted that Roark seemed fun to watch, or was it… some other scene that I have no recollection of?

      • Mike Hirsch

        I liked that scene, and the scene where she figured out how the rail maze worked.

      • Mike Hirsch

        She was what I would call “background cute.”

  • BadPlayer91

    Cheers to Alan “Crazy Eyez” Ball

    • DrVanNostrand

      Hey, according to everyone’s favorite ‘Secret Agent?”, crazy is the new n-word.

  • Kent McK

    Katrina must now return to 1997

    • Hornacek

      TOO SOON!

  • Diego Armando

    Picking Ryan for my 3 person team was a good idea.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    So I’m stealing this from Reddit, but y’all:

    If I’m Chrissy, I put that idol in JPs bag and watch Alan go full Debbie Wanner

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Wow, I hope that happens. I hope it very much.

      • purplerockandy

        I’m guessing production grabbed the idol after TC. It’s gone.

        • bassmanxvi

          I wonder what the job title is of the person who gets to sneak idols into bags and take them out again? Or is that job divided into sneakers and takers…

          Hey I think we have the kernel of the next 3 team gimmick. Help me fill in the blank…

          SURVIVOR: Sneakers, Takers and ________ers

          • sharculese

            “I wonder what the job title is of the person who gets to sneak idols into bags and take them out again?”

            intern

          • Hornacek

            Slippers

          • StormofCuteness

            Fakers. For sure.

          • forever1267

            Cake Wars…?

    • I could see Chrissy doing something like that. I made her my winner pick (although much of that is just because I go to the college that she went to), but I could see her having Denise Stapley upside now that she’s gotten past the first few days. Then again, I might just be crafting a narrative to explain how my winner pick has to do well.

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      God, that would be awesome, but seriously, she has the world’s most convincing fake idol now, no?

  • PurpleTally

    Alan is pure crazy eyes.
    But I’m still keeping him on my fantasy team. I had Troy last season. My standards are low.

  • Diego Armando

    Alan seems to have confused planting a seed of paranoia with “SHOW ME YOUR GENITALIA SO I CAN ACCUSE YOU OF HIDING AN IDOL”. It’s an easy mistake to make.

    • BadPlayer91

      Maybe Alan is just looking for an excuse to see Peen. Maybe he has a big gay secret he just can’t handle!

      a boy can hope…

      • StormofCuteness

        Umm, this season has so much male eye candy I can barely contain myself. Which is not to say that I don’t also find many of the women attractive. Oh the joys of bisexuality!

        • BadPlayer91

          Agreed. I’m dreading when they give everyone their swimsuits. More men doing challenges in underwear!

          • indescribable hat

            I’m so glad we’re in an era when men feel some pressure to pick out good underwear to wear on TV. Even though boxers are so obviously practical I might try to wear them on Survivor!

          • BadPlayer91

            i’d argue boxer briefs are probably most practical. Protect the junk, avoid chafing, but not skimpy. Though I’d be all for Cole’s brief look…

          • Maritimer

            Kinda hope the interns lost Cole’s bathing suit. They’d probably get a raise for that

          • StormofCuteness

            Oh, I won’t mind the swimsuits…

    • DrVanNostrand

      Who hasn’t made that mistake?

    • i and 1

      I believe, in sexual circles, his move is classified as version 153.b (bad) of the Threesome.

  • By The Numbers

    I’m feeling good about this season. Seems like it will get better from here. Some boring groundwork was laid, and hopefully the next few episodes are the payoffs.
    The edit wasted too much time on stuff that didn’t matter though, like the super idol (makes me think Ryan might be getting a Winner’s Edit, because the only reason that idol matters is to make him look savvy).

    I think Chrissy made the right choice by letting Katrina go, because they would still be a minority and blindsiding someone on the first vote would just further alienate them. Any chance Chrissy shows off her expired idol as if it is still valid? This is the first time someone has had the opportunity to present people with a real idol and I’m betting everyone would fall for it.

    • Maritimer

      Eh, I’m not reading anything into Ryan’s screen time other than he’s the guy that found the idol

    • Max_Jets

      Ryan can reveal to Chrissy that he had the idol later, which could start an alliance.

    • purplerockandy

      Temporary idols have existed before. I’m guessing they’re collected by production once they expire.

      • Streets_Ahead

        IIRC that I listen to/read an interview with a former player where they said something like that was taken by production after tribal but I can’t recall who it was or where I heard it. But I’m pretty sure you’re right.

        • purplerockandy

          I think it’s especially true now that they’ve tried to introduce “fake idol making kit” as an advantage. They’re not gonna let this one be that.

          • Streets_Ahead

            Seems like the stuff I read/listened to today say they get to keep it so they can use it as a fake idol. So like an advanced fake idol kit. But we’ll see how it plays out.

          • Hornacek

            On KIA one of the listeners submitted an excerpt from an interview with Jeff weeks ago about the superidol note; it tells the player that they can choose to use it at the first tribal, or choose to keep it and use it to fool other players later.

            So it appears that Chrissy gets to keep this idol and do with it what she wants – use it as a fake idol, or plant it in Ashley’s bag and convince Alan to search her bag.

      • DrVanNostrand

        I would actually like the ‘one time only idol’ more if it could be used as a fake later on.

        • purplerockandy

          It would certainly be more interesting than something that I’m pretty sure has never once mattered in Survivor history.

      • By The Numbers

        Doesn’t everyone usually know the idol has expired? They normally make a spectacle of “who ever can get the idol the fastest is safe from the first vote”

        • purplerockandy

          No, in Tocantins, they were only known to the people who were chosen to be apart from their tribes.

  • Maritimer

    Too much Ryan. Not enough Cole.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      But the Cole we did get: HONEY.

      btw I’m not encouraged by next weeks preview, because whenever a couple forms, at one is guaranteed to get chopped (and this is the part where Andy tells me that Romber was a couple that made it to the end).

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        Ugh! I am so tired of this part!

      • Diego Armando

        And after that, no one will ever let that happen again. See also, Women’s Alliance.

      • Maritimer

        Its fine. The girl always gets voted out anyways. Cole’s safe. (Seriously though, I am a little worried for him after that) (but JP and Ashley survived tonight)

      • sharculese

        Episode 3 is called “My Kisses are Private,” so…

      • Purple Rock Emma

        I mean Romber making it to the end is why people get rid of couples so.

      • Lira2012

        Yeah, it’s worrisome. Makes me re-think my Cole pic.

        • Hornacek

          Why would anyone rethink having a picture of Cole?

    • DrVanNostrand

      Hey, Ryan has gotten NO ADVANTAGES in life, so maybe you should back the fuck off!

      • Roswulf

        Even ignoring the obvious (which we shouldn’t- he’s so privileged he doesn’t even know what privilege is), what kind of “Hustler” hasn’t figured out how to get at least some advantages?

        That’s the least hustler-y thing I’ve ever heard.

        • DrVanNostrand

          He’s playing the white republican long con:
          1. Be a white dude
          2. ???
          3. Profit
          4. Lobby for tax cuts so no one can touch your fucking profits!!!!!

          He’s still working on step 2.

    • Roswulf

      I’ll say this for Ryan. He looks like a bellhop.

      • Streets_Ahead

        I find the fact they didn’t make him wear a bellhop hat as part of his wardrobe to be very disappointing.

        • bassmanxvi

          Though for all the turtleneck talk that outfit works better for the heat than a thick red sweater

        • Hornacek

          I mean, they made Lil wear a cub scout leader’s uniform.

  • Diego Armando

    I know it is early, but I think Simone is getting a Winner’s Edit.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Next Michelle, obvs.

      • corndogshuffle

        Who?

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          She was the one that… wait… what are we talking about?

      • Hornacek

        Too many L’s.

        • Streets_Ahead

          Only Ws so far for her.

          • Hornacek

            Can’t wait to see her on the All Winners season.

            Sorry, that was a typo. I meant to say that I can wait.

      • Streets_Ahead

        I know you’re joking but Michele had a good premiere content wise for not going to tribal. How much the content the beauty girls alliance got for never going to tribal was a huge give away.

        • Hornacek

          In the Josh pre-season interviews, Ryan said that since BvW, the season’s winner did not go to the first tribal council (Tyson, Tony, Natalie, Mike, Jeremy, Michele, Adam, Sarah). So if that trend holds, look for a Healer or Hustler to win this season.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      diego pls

    • DrVanNostrand

      Who?

  • Saturday Night Palsy

    Now is the slow time between east coast Survivor and west coast Survivor.

  • Maritimer

    I was honestly shocked it was Katrina, because as Matt noted, she was barely in the episode at all. Like, I was barely aware she was a person until about 2 minutes before tribal. I was convinced it was Ashley

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I totally thought the edit was trying to get us to root for the mom squad which would mean Ashley was going, but I guess we were just supposed to root for Chrissy?

      • Maritimer

        Maybe? I like her so far (and she’s on my Pick 4), so if they’re setting her up to be rootable, I’m in

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          Same 🙂

      • indescribable hat

        How could you not root for the mom squad though?

    • Purplerockmatt

      oh look someone actually read the liveblog. I like this guy

      • DrVanNostrand

        There’s a liveblog?

        • Purplerockmatt

          no one reads it so all you guys miss me falling asleep on the keyboard

          • Hornacek

            I’d read the liveblog if work didn’t block it. So next time, try not make it so controversial that it gets blocked.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            You work in the hours after the show airs?

          • Hornacek

            No, I’m out of practice with this and I forgot that I can’t read the liveblog at work so I didn’t bother reading it after the episode last night.

      • Maritimer

        I usually read! Just after the fact because I rarely watch the episode live

      • Streets_Ahead

        I read my own tweet! But really I usually read it after watching the episode (and enjoy it) as I don’t watch the show live anymore because it’s bed time for the kiddos.

        • Purplerockmatt

          I am just kidding guys

    • BadPlayer91

      I was shocked it wasn’t Alan for the reverse of that reason. He got SO much screen time with dem crazy eyes considering it wasn’t his boot.

      But after we got an immediate alliance breakdown for Heroes I was like “They are definitely going to tribal before the merge” and when we went back to them for a check up before even going to a challenge, I was like “Oh, we they are going to tribal this episode”

      • Maritimer

        Until they walked to tribal, I was waiting for JP and Ashley to swing the vote to Alan. Then I thought Chrissy might play her idol to get rid of Alan. Then I was just confused.

        Earlier, I was with you. I thought it was setting up a 2-2-2 divide a la KR Brain’s tribe

      • Roswulf

        I think Alan earned his screen time by being pointlessly aggressive and having some strong facial expression work.

        Without Alan, there’s pretty much no story at all.

        • BadPlayer91

          Oh, I agree. But it isn’t unheard of for Survivor to burn storylines in favor of weaving one around the next cast member to get the boot. Given the lead up, I assumed that the “Alan is playing so hard” edit was being used to explain his boot. I still think it is, but it’s too bad Katrina got almost no screen time in her boot episode. She seemed very chill and likable in the post-interview I listened to.

  • PurpleTally

    Often, when a first time player does something crazy like Alan, you can trace it back to a recent season and they’re doing a shitty version of someone else’s move. I genuinely can’t figure out where Alan got this idea. Panama, maybe? Tribal bonding via genital exposure?

    • Streets_Ahead

      I think it’s the other way in this case. I don’t think he’s really a fan and doesn’t realize how bad this could turn out for him because he doesn’t know about the many example of this kind of thing turning out very badly. Plus someone mentioned apparently in his bio he says he doesn’t take being hungry very well which probably contributed.

      • Streets_Ahead

        I listened to Josh Wigler’s thing today and Alan called the pre-merge ‘when they’re still in teams’ so I’m gonna double down on he wasn’t a fan coming in.

    • Prom King

      I think in this case it’s just paranoia + panic attack. A slow burning panic attack that apparently lasts for days.

      I wasn’t unhappy with targets though, so Alan keep that paranoia train running!

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      Maybe because everybody on the Millennials tribe was so freaked out by Faylor? (I’m citing MvGX because Alan 100% didn’t watch as far back as, say, Cook Islands or All-Stars).

      • Maritimer

        I think they’re truth to this. Alan seemed more like “I know I’m not supposed to like power couples because reasons” than actually having the solid why down, which makes sense if he watched MvGX

        • Another prime example that Alan is a recruit: he was calling them a power couple, not a showmance.

    • Hornacek

      I liked on KIA when Rob asked “When was the last time there was a power couple that controlled the game?” and Stephen quickly said “Me and J.T.”

      • So, we are going to discount both Malcolm and Denise and David and Ken?

        • Hornacek

          Pretty sure someone (Aubry?) tweeted a photo of David and Ken in response to this power couple question.

          I think Stephen only said himself and J.T. because Rob had been kidding earlier about Devon and Ryan being the better version of J.T. and Stephen.

          Also, not sure if M&D and D&K are power couples. M&D were separated for awhile, and they eventually turned on each other. As for D&K, Ken eventually voted out David. Doesn’t a true “Survivor power couple” have to go to the end together?

  • Ike1

    Ugh, back to a 60-minute premiere instead of 90 minutes, I guess so that CBS could give a good time slot to the debut of Middle-Aged Angelus SWAT (errr I mean SEAL) Red-State Hero Bin-Laden-Killin’ Cool Guys. This is terrible. I hate 60-minute season premieres. You really need that extra 30 minutes to get to know the players. I barely had any idea who that skinny lady was who got voted out.

    So far I don’t feel great about this season, but then, this happens a lot. Survivor usually gets much more interesting for me a few more episodes into each season once I’ve gotten to know the players a little more. The only people who stood out were: Alan, who is either completely nuts or… yeah he’s nuts (I hate to say it, but: CTE?); Sex Doctor Mike; tattooed-with-a-creepy-baby-head Tony-ish guy who is already picking on Sex Doctor Mike; shrimpy bellhop & his best buddy, Fabio 2017; and Roark, a little bit, but mainly because her pre-season interview on one of the podcasts sounded interesting, otherwise I would barely have noticed her. We learned basically nothing about the power couple before Alan smeared them as the power couple. (Is the girl the hardcore Christian and self-professed virgin from the pre-season podcast interviews?)

    I need to go listen to the RHAP “Corinne verbally abuses everybody” cast assessment podcast — maybe that’ll help me keep all these idiots straight.

    • sharculese

      “I need to go listen to the RHAP “Corinne verbally abuses everybody” cast assessment podcast”

      Don’t bother. This one is light on jokes and very heavy on long, boring anecdotes about Corinne’s love life.

      • DrVanNostrand

        Sometimes I miss the fact that I’m too busy to listen to all the RHAP podcasts these days… and sometimes I read posts like yours.

      • Ike1

        Thanks, good to know. So far it’s pretty dreadful and I’ve got way more stuff to listen to than time to listen to it (and I work for That Big Audiobook Company, too, so I get free audiobooks, and no time to listen to all of them!). Could you listen to all of my other podcasts for me and tell me which episodes I should skip? I’m way behind on The Best Show, Why Oh Why, and The Sporkful. Better get cracking! 😛

        • Streets_Ahead

          I don’t know what you actually do but I’m still jealous of your job. I’ve really gotten into audio books in the last year or so. So great for the commute/working out/cooking/doing work around the house/etc.

      • Prom King

        Corinne herself is a portrait of “it’s all downhill”.

      • Ms_Woozah

        Wasn’t gonna listen anyway b/c of Corinne, but appreciate the cliffs notes.

    • DrVanNostrand

      I called Devon “Taylor 2.0” during the preseason. But since you could probably call Taylor “Fabio 2.0”, I guess that makes Devon “Fabio 3.0” by the transitive property of .0s

      • sharculese

        That’s unfair to Fabio, who at least seemed like a friendly, good-natured guy.

        • Ike1

          Agreed, Fabio seemed like a decent human being, unlike a lot of the other people from that wretched bottom-feeding season. I was giving this new guy the benefit of the doubt by comparing him to Fabio. There’s certainly no evidence so far that he’s as gross as Taylor. (There’s not much evidence he isn’t that gross, either, but I’m trying to be more positive and less of a crank!)

          • indescribable hat

            Aw, he doesn’t seem gross, by which I mean: I’m attracted to him.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I agree on the 60 vs. 90 minutes thing, especially on a three tribe season – this premiere felt super rushed and choppy to me

    • What was shown in the episode was perfectly fine, even though I would’ve liked to have seen more about why Katrina was targeted. That being said, I completely agree that 90 minute premieres are necessary for learning about the contestants (especially for me this season, since I barely paid attention to the preseason). I also need less of Ryan, who is apparently what happens when Reddit tries to clone Cochran, and more of Roark.

    • Streets_Ahead

      > but mainly because her pre-season interview on one of the podcasts
      sounded interesting, otherwise I would barely have noticed her.

      Thank you for saying that because for a moment I though I was crazy because I don’t remember a Roark at all.

      • DrVanNostrand

        Roark was the strategic mastermind who helped the yellow team dominate the rolling ball puzzle board challenge.

        • Streets_Ahead

          Ah ok I remember that. Master minds first immunity win. Master minds season. #WinnersEdit

    • Purple Rock Emma

      (Is the girl the hardcore Christian and self-professed virgin from the pre-season podcast interviews?)

      That’s Jessica, the blonde girl on Healers who Cole is about to start a showmance with. Hope he’s ready for a commitment.

      • DrVanNostrand

        Like Jamie and Eric from China? This is so exciting!

        • Streets_Ahead

          It worked out pretty well for them and if one of them goes out like Jamie did then I’m totally on board with this.

        • Hornacek

          Poor Erik, he really got grilled at the reunion by Jeff about whether he was still a virgin. It was … uncomfortable.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        Hope she’s ready to live in a Prius!

        • Hornacek

          Rob, Nicole and Corinne all said that they thought Cole was actually wealthy, and he lived in his car to throw off any women only interested in him for his money. As if there would be women not interested in him for his looks.

    • Maritimer

      60 mins is really not enough. I don’t feel like we got to see anyone other than the Heroes and idol guy

    • Hornacek

      Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think every time they’ve done a 90-minute premiere, it’s been followed by the 90-minute Big Brother finale. CBS doesn’t have any Wednesday night 1/2 hour shows, or any of their 1-hour dramas that get expanded to 90 minutes.

      So because BB ended last week (?) and they knew Survivor was starting a week later, they knew it would have to be 60 minutes.

  • VoicOff

    Honestly having someone who plays game for money up there in the hero team with people who saves lives for a living is bullshit.

    • Because those life savers don’t belong? I feel you.

    • Roswulf

      I do like the idea that it’s not full of ACTUAL heroes, rather people who get called heroes for reasons reasonable and deeply stupid.

      It’s still a bad idea, but hoping you can make Alan even more bonkers by calling him a hero is the best part of this stupid, stupid theme.

    • purplerockandy

      Financial analysts be out here saving lives.

      • VoicOff

        I snoozed at that part but you are right
        Couldn’t recall what she was doing with her life

    • DrVanNostrand

      I generally try to avoid getting overly political… but fuck it. When they finish gutting Medicare and Social Security in this fucked up country, financial planners will indeed be life savers.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      “Hustlers, your tribe name is Yawa. Healers, your tribe name is Soko. Heroes, your tribe name is The Justice League.”

      • Hornacek

        “Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice …”

        • i and 1

          There’s a chest full of critical equipment chained to the bottom of the sea… A job for Aquawoman! Aquawoman…? Where’s Aquawoman, guys?

  • Harvey Dent

    Cowboys fans whining about him for 5 years really got to Alan Ball’s paranoia

    • DrVanNostrand

      The funny thing about Alan Ball to me is that he looks MASSIVE on Survivor, but he was a fucking defensive back. The NFL is crazy.

      • i and 1

        Lettin’ himself go a bit..

      • Purplerockmatt

        Yeah I noticed that too. NBA is crazier though, but that is because height always messes up my perspective than just muscular beefiness

        • indescribable hat

          Ah yes, poor Woo, convincing us all he was kinda short by running around next to Cliff when we first met him.

  • StormofCuteness

    Finally here! Before I read the comments, I want to admit that I will definitely be getting rid of Patrick because he’s too over the top. I only hope I can get who I want.

    Also, wtf with Katrina getting no screentime? I mean show her being over eager, annoying, something? But you were right PRP predictions. Don’t get too cocky. (I said Ashley, and she got the only other vote.)

    • i and 1

      Man, the preview about Patrick was a bit disturbing. Maybe just being goofy? I’m gonna just pretend it’s nothing, for now.

      • StormofCuteness

        At your peril, i and 1, at your peril!

        • i and 1

          Him and Ali working together was the essential foundation of my pick-4 strategy–and then I saw it actually happening! Later on of course, the discouraging stuff comes along, but I just can’t let the dream go.

      • Hornacek

        Apparently Patrick has crabs in his pockets.

        • i and 1

          Did we actually come close to seeing a guy grab urgently at his crotch and then explain it away as being “crabs”. Like the final scene in some Seinfeld beach episode!

          • Hornacek

            “Is anyone here a marine biologist?”

  • Roswulf

    Well, that was an episode of Survivor. Like many of you, I was burned bad enough by last season that I’m still not all the way in.

    THINGS I LIKED:
    1. The twist with the one-use super idol. Good way to lend excitement to a potentially easy vote, and no one gets too mad about someone being screwed by a twist immediately on a newbie season.

    2. Alan. I mean, he’s awful at the game and kind of a jerk, but he’s good TV.

    3. Simone: Obviously didn’t have to do much, but I think she’s positioning herself really cleverly as the fulcrum point of her tribe. I hope she lasts long enough for this to be a running joke. I am not hopeful.

    4. All y’all. I’m not that excited for the new season- I am enthusiastic for coming back to the Purplerock comments.

    THINGS I DID NOT LIKE:
    1. Jeff talking about the theme. This was even more painful than normal. Also…he seems really into the “hustler means HARD WORKER” thing. Which is both not the primary meaning, and so much less interesting gamewise than pushing the “hustler means con man playing all the angles” thing. Bad Jeff.

    2. Joe. He’s bad at the game, a total jerk, and, at least for me bad TV.

    3. The general blandness of this episode. It doesn’t mean much…but it was bland.

    • Max_Jets

      “and no one gets too mad about someone being screwed by a twist immediately on a newbie season”
      Bull, I was ready to be pissed before I watched the episode! I do think it would have been fine if it were just a regular idol that could only be used at the first tribal which would still cause excitement, but making it a super idol really limits the possibilities for it and makes it unfair in the most boring way. I’m glad nothing happened with it.

      • purplerockandy

        LOL at the idea that Survivor fans wouldn’t have been upset about any new twist or change.

        Way to set her straight, @Max_Jets:disqus

        • Max_Jets

          I’LL SUPPORT A TWIST WHEN IT’S A GOOD TWIST, it’ll happen some day

          • purplerockandy

            So weird that the show has never once come up with a good one. Stupid show.

          • DrVanNostrand

            Remember when they introduced the swap and royally screwed over America’s sweetheart, Chip. Ruined the game.

          • Max_Jets

            Yeah there have been many good twists, but I feel like I’m always railing against whatever they introduce that I look like a cranky person who will never be okay with any twist. I also didn’t start watching until Cagayan, so I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to fully back a new twist. I was interested in the Legacy Advantage when I first heard about it though, so I will gladly pat myself on the back for being so open minded.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            AND WRONG

          • Max_Jets

            Sarah taking out Sierra WAS pretty badass though.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Only possible because Sierra played it as bad as humanly possible, though.
            I still maintain that the Legacy advantage is a good tool to have in the game (in the right hands, where it hasn’t found its way to yet), that opens up interesting pathways for the holder. What’s the right approach to using it may differ significantly depending on the player’s personality and position in the game. It could help you immensely if you get the most out of it, or sink (what’s left of) your game if you FFSDT it. Sitting on it and hoping you make it to day 36 or whenever may be the best for one person, while the next could make the most use of it by dealing with it in a more public manner, maybe even sowing the instructions on his bag for everybody to see, whereas another type, let’s call him Tony, would possibly be best served by spinning little tales around what IT could do and honestly, I can’t even begin to imagine what else HE could do with it.
            On its own it’s neither overpowered, nor a drag on your game (like publicly known ownage of a more miniscule advantage proved to be), so just the right sized twist if you ask me.

            I’m still #Team Legacy Advantage, but I’m not opposed to a re-branding before they bring it back.

        • Maritimer
        • sharculese

          This twist really was kind of a dud, tho. A one-use idol that can only save a first boot is just not primed to create something interesting.

          I really wish it would have stayed in the game. Having to pass it on each week and watching information about it slowly trickle out could have built for some really good drama, hopefully culminating in a game of telephone at the merge as people try to work out the chain of custody. As it is, it was kind of meh.

          • purplerockandy

            Oh yeah, this twist was pretty inert (to the point where it even landed in a situation where it SHOULD have mattered and didn’t). But let’s not pretend that there isn’t a strong impulse among many fans to instantly reject EVERYTHING unless proven otherwise.

          • Hornacek

            In the GC finale comments, you can see when the FTC format change happens because there are so many “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” and “This change SUCKS!” comments. But the comments after the show are more “I like this new format.”

    • Streets_Ahead

      > no one gets too mad about someone being screwed by a twist immediately on a newbie season.

      That’s not true. Survivor Palau. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

      • Roswulf

        Totally true, obviously people get mad about everything.

        But Palau is a great example. That was an objectively terrible twist! And it does virtually no harm to the season’s story. A player who might have mattered, doesn’t (also Wanda leaves in the middle of episode 1, as opposed to the end). And then we move on to the real story.

        • Streets_Ahead

          I was actually fine with IRL but lots of people really seem to hate it. Neither Johnathan or Wanda seemed like I lost anything major game play or character wise and though a lot of people say they never got to play they did though in a different way from normal. All they needed was one of seven to want them and they didn’t. C’est la vie. The twists that I hate the most are the ones that are uninteresting or waste a lot of show time for little reward.

  • Diego Armando

    If we’re judging solely by the first episode (which we shouldn’t) it seems like the people who will be the big factors of this season are: Ben, Chrissy, Alan, Mike, Joe, Cole, Ryan and Ali.

    • Roswulf

      I think Mike, Ali and (sigh) Joe are the people with the most positive edit indications thus far. Ban, Chrissy, Alan, and Ryan actually did things, and Cole only really got attention in relation to Ryan.

      Mike, Ali and Joe could have been excised from the episode in favor of letting Simone explain her master plan. But…instead we saw them be only moderately interesting.

      • Diego Armando

        I think Ben was pretty good. I would not count anyone out yet. It just seems like these people will factor into the most immediate plot lines.

      • DrVanNostrand

        I thought Devon got attention in relation to Ryan. Cole got attention from the healers for his abs.

        • Maritimer

          Cole also got attention from the cameramen for his abs. I’m pretty sure like 90% of the time we were with the Healers, the camera was on Cole, no matter who was talking

          • Cole definitely giving him Joey Amazing 1.0 vibes, which means mid-merge.

          • Maritimer

            Yeah, that’s what I think too. There’s no way he doesn’t become too big a threat at some point

        • i and 1

          Devon seems exactly like I imagined, but with much better chances. I had figured he’d so out-of-it that he wouldn’t even understand it’s a competition, but he’s got energy I think, and appears willing to work with people who have plans.

        • Roswulf

          Huh. It is possible that I have no idea who Cole is.

    • Max_Jets

      Did Cole talk?

  • Streets_Ahead

    Kind of a meh first episode. I kind of thought Katrina would be safe since we practically didn’t see her, and then she gets voted out just for being an older woman which is never fun to watch. It was kind of funny that the advantage/super idol ended up not even being used and was just a waste of a few minuets in the episode. But at least it’s already done after this episode.

    Seems like a few people are playing was to hard already. Particularly Alan. Why go so hard at an obvious couple and potential make yourself a target especially when you’re not even voting one of them out? Seems like a bad spot to put yourself in. Does he think he’s not in danger this early because he’s a strong guy?

    • Assistant Dragon Slayer

      Is it really done now, though? Can’t she use it as a fake idol?

      Once Chrissy barfed, Katrina should have talked about being an Olympian non-stop. Of course, we’ll never know if she did or not since she got zero screen time.

      • Hornacek

        Rumor is that Production took back the idol after tribal.

        At least, they have done that in the past for temporary immunity.

      • Streets_Ahead

        Prior president indicated no, but what I read listened to today suggest maybe they did get to keep it.

    • sharculese

      Not using the real tribe names until the swap seems to be the new paradigm. That’s how it went in MvGX.

      • Streets_Ahead

        Figured, but at least he doesn’t stick with it after the swap so far. It would seem silly be the hero/healer/hustler divide is already so stupid and forced it’s would hardly be stick to the theme any less other than admitting how arbitrary it is.

    • indescribable hat

      Someone (Ryan maybe?) on the Hustlers tribe already talked about being a hustler like it’s a concept that exists outside this season of Survivor. Remember when the No Collars did that?

      • Streets_Ahead

        Rewatch the episode it did come up and Ryan was one of them. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as some recent seasons. I wish it would go all the way a way but a move in the right direction at least.

  • VoicOff

    I wanted to like Alan for being the one lone black member of his tribe but he is too crazy. I hate Joe, too.
    Ryan, a seduction advice: you need to stop talking about your dick and how much action it didn’t get, it’s not an endearing quality in a man.

    • It’s not? Oops

      • VoicOff

        go figure

      • DrVanNostrand

        I’ve heard talking is not good, but the ladies *love* getting unsolicited photos of it.

    • i and 1

      He knows. That comment wasn’t for the ladies, none of them heard it. It was just for the camera.

      • sharculese

        Yeah, but Ryan almost certainly went on Survivor because he thought it would help him get laid.

      • VoicOff

        But AMERICA heard and that’s what matters

        (Seriously, you are awfully literal: it’s just plain annoying to make all those comments about his virginity. It’s not a big deal, get over it)

      • i and 1

        Everybody, I was trying to joke about it, sorry bout that, I shoulda put an ellipsis on the end I guess.

  • Max_Jets

    I think I’m here for Alan. He seems to be way overplaying, but he’s also self aware about how crazy he looks. Could he be fake crazy throughout the season and then win when he reveals he knew what he was doing all along?

    Alan aside, I think this season mostly looks to be a strong cast of women and a potentially weak cast of guys. JP and Cole both seem bland (COME AT ME, COLEHEADS), while Devon, Ryan, and Mike seem like they could get annoying. Ben is great so far though.

    • DrVanNostrand

      Are you suggesting that Ken 2.0 is pretty, but not very interesting? That’s crazy talk. Apart from Ken 1.0, when has that ever happened before?

      • Max_Jets

        Remember when Ken walked and talked though? Hmm, apparently I can’t be objective about this.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          I remember him doing both, just never at the same time…

          • Max_Jets

            Well, yeah, can you imagine the sensory overload?

    • Maritimer

      I can’t even deny the possibility that Cole will be bland. But I don’t care.

  • Something Quirky

    I must admit, I kind of missed Probst. I’m not huge on LaPaglia.

    • Prom King

      I feel the opposite. Like I’ve been spoiled by LaPaglia and now have to deal with cheese that is Probst.

      • Head Architect Sylvia

        I agree! First season I wasn’t 100% sold on JLP but this season I feel like he’s been amazing and appropriately sassy. I watched the first ep of this and I’ve never felt so neutral towards Probst before in my life. I thought I really liked him but now he just seems boring or too commercial or something. I don’t know.

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          I’m a Probst fan, but I thought he was a little off in the premiere. There were a lot of weird shots of him jumping in the sand or taking two or three obviously choreographed steps while staring right into the camera.

          • sharculese

            Whenever Probst is a little off, just assume it’s because he has diarrhea.

          • Head Architect Sylvia

            His heart just did not seem in it to me. And not really down to Probst but that whole first tribal council just felt super flat. I think it was mainly down to the camera angle and music.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            Yes! Something was definitely missing

  • DrVanNostrand

    I loved how the two vapid pretty boys tried to make their fake jobs seem more noble by saying it was all about helping kids.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      “I’m an underwear model – for the children”

  • Side Character

    So, the super idol continues its streak of having never been played at tribal council. I mean, it would definitely shake up a tribal if it was ever used, but man, it’s been 23 seasons since it was first introduced and no one has needed/chosen to use it. What are we to make of this?

    • Max_Jets

      Maybe production would stop putting one in the game if it was used once because they’d realize how dumb it is. Or maybe they should just rewatch Fiji’s “It’s a Turtle?!” to remember why idols are perfect as is.

    • Streets_Ahead

      Well to be fair Terry won immunity almost every time so he wouldn’t need it. But the general take away is that it’s so over powered that just no one bothers to vote for that person. Though not the case this time.

      • DrVanNostrand

        Plan voodoo would still work. The problem is there are so many idols around these days, that the plan is really risky. Back when you could probably assume there was only one idol, I don’t think it was quite so powerful.

        • Streets_Ahead

          Indeed but I would be risky as you said even more so than against a normal idol. Regardless I think it’s over powered and were better off with the regular idol. As you alluded to there are too many idols these days.

          • DrVanNostrand

            I definitely don’t like the super-idol, but I’m less opposed to it if it’s the only idol in the game. With all the idols floating around these days, there should definitely not also be a super-idol.

          • BadPlayer91

            I agree for later in the game, but I really didn’t mind having it in the first episode. It added an interesting dynamic that resulted in some early strategy, but is now out of play. Rather than this episode being a will they/won’t they over booting the older women, we also have the added intrigue of will Chrissy need to use it, and how that will play out should she/Ryan make the merge and team up.

            I almost think the better thing would have been for production to just call it something else. Like an Early Idol or something, to indicate that it really is just meant to shake up day 1 strategy and not affect the whole game.

          • indescribable hat

            Unfortunately she doesn’t know who sent it to her, so the potential to build trust for a swap or merge is lower. Although I guess if Ryan goes up to her and knows about it that’s pretty good evidence that it was him.

          • BadPlayer91

            In Josh Wigler’s RHAP podcast, he talks about how Ryan and Devon had apparently had some pretty in depth discussions about who to give it to in the event Hustler’s didn’t lose. I believe their picks were Chrissy and Roark, argument being that both had already demonstrated their knowledge of the game and general strategy, and would know how to best employ the super idol, either as a weapon in the first vote, or as a fake idol. They also argued that if Chrissy/Roark were successful in utilizing it, they would be grateful to whomever willed it to them, thus allowing Ryan/Devon to create a cross-tribal alliance if needed later in the game.

            Also, one of the popular ideas on Reddit is Chrissy could plan the now useless idol in JP’s stuff, and hope Alan finds it and loses his shit. Personally, I think this is a risky move for Chrissy though. Assuming she aligns with Ben, I think it’s a safer bet to make a group of 4 with JP and Ashley, who have proven more level-headed.

    • purplerockandy

      Other than this one, many of those other Super Idols weren’t needed to be played because it granted the user immunity without having to play it. So it’s not like it’s been useless.

  • Prom King

    Early favorites: Chrissy who correctly did not use stupid super idol, Marine, Doctor Weasel, Celebrity Assistant (trying to get past that job title though)

    I like her, but since when has working as Financial Analyst, or whatever she is, remotely heroic? She’s heroic because she worked, then had kids, and then went back to work? Honestly I don’t understand. The basic idea behind “heroes’ just makes me irritated. But I will love hearing phrases like “Heroes Lose Reward” from Probst.

    Like probably most people, the misuse of hustler is driving me up the wall. I guess it has multiple meanings, but I haven’t been told to put some hustle into it since high school.

    And since when does a surf instructor “hustle”?

    That frickin parole officer. Watching that asshole get up in the weasel’s face was hard. Parole officer needs a good smack upside the head. The nerve of him!

    Hey Matt maybe don’t make a habit of mocking the bellhop’s physical appearance, okay? I mean it’s fine to mock him for being a bellhop, that’s really all that I need at least. But he was born with that face and physique, you know? Not exactly an advantage in life, despite being a white American male or whatever that one tweet said.

    I thought the little scene between bellhop and surf instructor was… cute. An alliance that probably won’t last a day but here’s hoping it lasts forever. Maybe they are still fast friends? It’s like a b-movie version of JT & Stephen, a movie watched when really high.

    • Figaro

      Yeah I wanna second the request to please not demean Ryan based on his physical appearance. As someone who’s been bullied about the way they look it makes me super uncomfortable. If you want to make fun of him because of his personality then fine, but no one chooses their facial features.

      • Purplerockmatt

        Critique heard and received. I can still mock him for his personality though right?

        • Diego Armando

          Of course.

        • BadPlayer91

          Until we decide that is also not okay. Then you can just talk about his turtle neck.

          • Roswulf

            Damn it, I like the turtleneck. He looks like an off-duty bellhop in a knockoff Wes Anderson movie!

          • Purplerockmatt

            Oh damn that is scary accurate

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I hopped for Wes Anderson once. Nice guy, but he knows little about the hopper’s world.

          • Streets_Ahead

            Oh no. Is he going to be just as pretentious? Please tell me he won’t find a way to be more pretentious

          • Purplerockmatt

            I said I wouldn’t mock his looks! Now you are saying I can mock his neck?

          • BadPlayer91

            I’m not say you can do anything. Ever. In fact it’s probably best if you never do anything. But if you are going to do something, mock his turtle neck.

        • Figaro

          Much appreciated! Cheers 🙂

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      From watching the pre-season videos, I recall that Chrissy is (or was?) an actuary, so maybe that’s what they’re considering heroic? They also talked a lot about how she’s a female mathematician, so that could be their angle too.
      Either way, I thought a higher than average number of people were awkwardly shoehorned into the weird theme this season.

      • Diego Armando

        The best description I’ve heard about actuaries is, “They determine how much of a fuckup you are and adjust your rates accordingly”.

    • Purplerockmatt

      Got it. No more making fun of Ryan for his looks

      • Prom King

        Hey I appreciate it, thanks! I also really appreciate these live blogs, thank you for putting them together. I always the miss the live part but they are still fun to read.

    • By The Numbers

      Jeff’s description of the Hustlers was hilarious:

      “You are respected for your hard work ethic. Your mantra is get it done, no matter what, 100% of the time”

      To which no one ever thought “he must be describing a bellhop”

      • DrVanNostrand

        Or a surfing instructor. Or an assistant to a bullshit youtube ‘star’.

    • “I like her, but since when has working as Financial Analyst, or whatever she is, remotely heroic?”

      HOW. DARE. YOU.

      • Prom King

        Well I’ve heard they put in a heroic amount of work hours. 40 hours a week is just a number to the heroic Financial Analyst, willing to work nights and weekends to meet that deadline! I bet they put a lot of hustle into it as well, so she could really be on two teams.

      • DrVanNostrand

        Remember that time all the Financial Analysts heroically saved us all by blowing the whistle on garbage financial instruments, and prevented a massive recession!!!

    • indescribable hat

      Dr. Weasel! That really got me for some reason.

      The explanation I heard somewhere for Chrissy is that she’s a bit of a glass ceiling breaker in her industry. I think the whole Heroes thing works a bit better if you picture a group of kids saying, “My hero is this athlete!” or, “My hero is this woman with a high-powered job!” or whatever instead of trying to fit everyone there into the concept of actual heroism.

      • Roswulf

        That would also explain the use of a definition of hustler primarily used when talking to fourth grade soccer teams.

      • Prom King

        That makes a lot of sense to me to look at it from that perspective. Irritation slightly lowered.

        Okay now I’m going to focus on finding something irritating about this “Healer” label, I don’t want that tribe to feel left out.

      • NearlyNina

        Exactly, and so Chrissy can fit into the “My hero is my mom” role, or the Super-mom role presumably

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      It’s fine to mock him for being a bellhop? Bellhops (we call ourselves “hoppers”) work hard for low wages. Most of our income comes from tips from people who treat us like dirt. It’s a demanding and thankless job. Don’t feel free to mock us. We aren’t lazy skycaps or something.

      • Prom King

        I will refrain from mocking your interesting life choices, and rest assured my tips will be generous ones! I have heard you guys put a lot of hustle into your work.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Heroically!

          • Prom King

            If you say you have a healing touch with your guests, I will bow down. Have to bow down to a triple threat.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            We certainly know how to heal a poorly planned vacation!

          • Prom King

            I’m suddenly reminded of a former boss, who at one point during a staff meeting noted that he was a Triple Threat because he could sing, dance, and act. It was an awkward moment filled with silence. Wish there had been a bellhop at that meeting to school him on what truly constitutes being a triple threat.

      • the sky is falling

        Bellhop is a glamorous occupation compared to being a waiter. It’s also demeaning and thankless plus you go home smelling of food and failure.
        (no longer a waiter)

        • Prom King

          Way back when I was a host, I used to be jealous of the waiters. Also very demeaning work – man the attitudes that some people had. Although minus the going home smelling like food part (but also minus the tip part). No longer a host!

          Bellhop>Waiter>Host?

          • the sky is falling

            Probably accurate, since I still pulled in 50-70k a year full time

  • Fun storytime: Guess who has not watched the premiere yet? Yes, due to working an 8 hour shift at one of my jobs and then immediately babysitting, I didn’t get home until midnight and have to wake up at 5. That essentially meant no Survivor yet and no Survivor until tonight. But I know who goes home. Anyway, I think someone has to retire the witch hat.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      Likely just a ploy to throw us off the witchy scent. I’m onto you, Barbara!

      • Nope, go back and read my picks.

        • Taako From Teevhii

          I’m talking long cons. The only way to lull us into a false sense of security for S36 is to pick the S35 first boot in all of your leagues. It’s a clever plan fwiw.

          Was there something that drew you to her? I saw some potential in Katrina (not to win but to get/be carried far), but didn’t draft her for fantasy.

          • TBF, I wasn’t planning on picking Katrina in Champions. Secondly, I thought she had a Sunday flair to her that could have done well.

          • Diego Armando

            She seemed to have a “early boot or one of the last boots” vibe.

  • i and 1

    The Olympian, Katrina is possibly the most dignified person ever to appear on Survivor. Every second of it, even the pre-season bio I read, screamed DIGNITY.

    • That dignity will serve her well on the pre-jury trip, I guess?

      • i and 1

        I’ve thought and talked about it a lot, and really, if I ever played, my INSTINCT, I mean my suspected unconscious intent at least, would probably be to ensure I appeared dignified on my way to my pre-finale exit. I love watching this show, but it would take an enormous effort to actually go after and exploit the trust of a decent person, I think. It’s just a game, yeah, but… a million bucks.

        Then again, if I see assholes, then kill-or-be-killed is an easy case to make to myself, who knows what’d happen.

        We didn’t see much of her, and its kinda funny to me how she (unintentionally) seems idealized (in a a way, to me) from the edit, like she remained untainted basically–and also mostly unseen. But I can also see myself in it, my imagined Survivor-player self.

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          I’ve thought about it a lot, too, and I would hope that I’d be completely chill after getting voted out. Survivor is a game, and it’s a category error to feel betrayed or lied to, just like it would be silly to feel bankrupt after losing Monopoly. And I say that as someone who used to excuse (or at least give a pass to) Brenda in Caramoan.

          Of course, that “it’s a game” mindset makes it a lot easier for me to deceive and betray people (or rather, “deceive” and “betray” people).

          • Hornacek

            I would hope that I would tell the players still in the game that in 5 minutes I would be eating a chocolate sundae.

          • sharculese

            You have to take it to 110% of where Shane did or don’t even bother.

    • VoicOff

      And that’s the quality reality TV always rewards: DIGNITY

    • sharculese

      Yul?

      • i and 1

        *PLUGS EARS*

        I still haven’t seen that season, the only one I haven’t, and I STILL don’t know how he did on it, or I forgot what I saw on Wikipedia, no idea, NYAHN NYAHN NYAHN NYAHN

  • Ms. Sweaterfan

    Okay, so now that I’ve slept on it I think my main takeaway from the premiere was how many people hit the beach ready to be the villain of the season. Perhaps even in a premeditated way :/
    If Alan, Joe, Ashley, JP etc. stick around and don’t lighten up a bit this season could be the next Worlds Apart for me >:[
    BUT if the meanies are voted out early and the fun, chill people prevail then this could be a fun season.
    Even though I did consume some of the preseason content, I’m still coming into this season pretty open-minded and willing to seeing where things go. I don’t have a major rooting interest beyond my fantasy teams I guess, though Chrissy and Ben appealed to me in the premiere. I also liked the Healer women since they were all so ripped and seemed to work well together, though we didn’t get much time with them. And I still think that Ali has some lowkey potential to do well.
    I often rewatch the Survivor premiere a few days later to try and catch anything I missed, and I’m especially going to need to do it with this one since it felt like they were rushing through some things since it was only an hour.

    And finally, I’m listening to KIA and I just have to say I am living for Stephen correcting Rob every time he incorrectly says “Stephen and I” XD Grammatical over correction is a bit of a pet peeve of mine so I love that Stephen is fighting the good fight.

    • sharculese

      Rob is also pretty bad about saying ‘myself’ when he doesn’t need a reflexive pronoun. Is Stephen fixing that, too?

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Haven’t heard Stephen catch him on that yet, but I’ll be on the lookout 🙂

    • Maritimer

      I didn’t get a villain-y vibe from JP. I stand by my pre-season assessment that he is kinda cute and boring. He’s Eddie Fox 2.0. He was just thrown off my Alan’s accusations

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Yeah that’s probably fair. He seems gruff to me and his association with Ashley isn’t helping, but he wasn’t an outright villain in the premiere.

        • Harvey Dent

          Is Ashley that villainous? I don’t really see anything that bad on her end. Alan also isn’t exactly like a Dan Foley, he’s just being over the top and it’s pretty hilarious.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            I’m probably just labeling people as villains because I didn’t like them. I need to rewatch the episode and reassess some people… 🙂

          • Maritimer

            I can see Ashley going the villain route with how she was portrayed, but its not set yet

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        We’ll see. Newbies can come out of the gate too hot. Alan seems genuinely unstable, but it also may be that we saw his worst 10 minutes out of 72 hours. JPashley mostly just seemed bewildered and flustered (It’s impossible to prove a negative, even if you drop trou). My gut tells me that Joe is more Rodney than Jason.

        • Diego Armando

          Joe desperately wants to be Tony.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Oh for sure. As badly as Ryan wants to be Cochran. I was referring specifically to intimidating others.

        • Kemper Boyd

          I’m really glad he’s on my fantasy teams.

        • Roswulf

          The bewilderment makes even more sense in retrospect, as we know that ultimately Alan was cheerily on their side.

          I wish Alan was on a tribe with a good narrator.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            Yes! During Alan’s antics at tribal council I actually said “if he’s not voting with the mom squad, then he’s lost his mind”
            Turns out I was right, just not in the way I thought I’d be!

          • Roswulf

            I *think* the reason he didn’t flip is that Ben wasn’t flipping…and even Alan’s not zany enough to try to force a tie.

            Of course if Chrissy had shared the idol info…

            Ah well, I’m not sure this result is all that much worse for anyone but Katrina, even if the alternative would have been much more fun.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            I agree with you here – Katrina is not a major loss for the season, though I have no real attachment to Ashley either.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I was hoping that she’d be around long enough to destroy a swimming challenge. Of course, then they would have immediately switched from “can’t keep a liability around” to “can’t keep a physical threat around.”

          • Kemper Boyd

            Cos you know for sure that they’ll have at least one person on each of tribe who can’t swim at all. Jessica is a lifeguard and Devon surfs so they’ll be decent but Katrina could have destroyed it.

    • indescribable hat

      Haven’t listened yet, but I love Stephen even more for that. We’re having a real crisis. I don’t think I’ve heard a reality show contestant say “such-and-so and me,” either correctly or incorrectly, in years!

      • sharculese

        That’s because they’re all scared of doing it wrong, so they say ‘myself’ instead. Because I guess being wrong on purpose is better than being wrong by accident?

        • Kemper Boyd

          I hate “myself” there are basically no times you should say it. Except sometimes saying “I went by myself”.

          • Sylvisual

            I hate myself, too.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            Don’t we all

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          Totally! When it should be “me” they say “I” and when it should be “I” they change it up and say “myself.” It’s mind-boggling!

          • sharculese

            It’s really not their fault. Most people make it through high school without encountering an English teacher who has even a rudimentary grasp of pronouns.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            I only learned grammar by studying ancient Greek in college, honestly

          • sharculese

            For me it was Russian.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            For me it was teaching ESL. But learning Japanese taught me that pronouns are bullshit anyway.

          • indescribable hat

            Latin for me!

          • Hornacek

            I learned all my Latin from Law & Order.

          • StormofCuteness

            Harumph!!

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Yes! It’s truly an epidemic in reality TV!

    • NearlyNina

      Wait, what did Ashley do? She wasn’t even the slightest bit villainous. She made a bad move by maybe getting too close to JP, but other than that she was calm, level-headed, confused…

  • Other Scott

    So far my only real thoughts are that I’m cheering for Mike because he sounds exactly like Sid the Sloth from Ice Age.

    • Ms_Woozah

      He DOES. Now I won’t be able to unhear it.

  • Kemper Boyd

    That was underwhelming but it’s only episode 1. There are a large number of wildcards, that could ruin a season…

    • Roswulf

      There’s the positivity I expect from the PRP commentariat!

      • Kemper Boyd

        I try.

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        TBF, Kemper and I have been watching Australian Survivor over the off-season. Every episode is the equivalent of a 90-minute episode, and it took six episodes just to whittle the cast down to 18 people. It’s going to take a while to adjust back. It almost felt like the Survivor equivalent of Scrabble Junior to me.

        • Kemper Boyd

          Frankly ASD I am Survivor fatigued. I have been sitting inside watching tv for 3 days because of illness and I’m still like 2 episodes behind on Aus Survivor. I might sack it in until I can be bothered. It’s really good but I’m tired of it.

          • Ms. Sweaterfan

            I feel you! I kept the TV on all day every day while I was on maternity leave because a lot of times I was just too tired to put any mental energy into entertaining myself. Then one day I sort of woke up, looked around and realized that I had actually made myself sick of TV. Luckily Survivor was not one of the shows that I was over doing it on over the summer.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I hear ya. As fantastic as this season of AU Survivor has been, I’m ready for it to be over. I’m probably not going to watch any Survivor over the winter break, either. It’s weird watching the premiere of a new US Survivor season and feeling burnt out. And I don’t know how you managed to slog through that season of recapping Survivor New Zealand.

          • Kemper Boyd

            I’m done with NZ. Even if it improves it’s not worth it. Aus is too long and starts too late, if it had finished a week ago it would be fine but I can’t watch US and Aus at the same time.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            Well I can at least say that the two episodes you haven’t seen are just as wild as the rest of the post-merge.

          • Kemper Boyd

            THE WILDNESS IS ALSO FUCKING EXHAUSTING.
            You know I used to wish Survivor was longer and now I wish Australian Survivor was shorter. There is no middle ground.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I feel exactly the same way. I used to wish Survivor was longer, showed more of the pre-tribal scrambling, and had more people playing hard. I got what I wished for, but really it’s too much.

          • sharculese

            There was way less overlap between AUS and US Survivor last year. I think we were doubled up for a week or two at most.

          • Kemper Boyd

            Plus last year the MvGX was a more interesting season from preseason to the first episode.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            I think it’s only going to be three weeks this year.

          • Kemper Boyd

            that’s 12 episodes of Survivor over a month.

          • Maritimer

            There’s 6 people left. How can their possibly be two weeks left of AUS?

          • sharculese

            TWISTS

          • Maritimer

            God damn it. They’re going to ruin it aren’t they?

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            There are only two shorter episodes this coming week, so I’m guessing the first one is a non-elimination.

          • Maritimer

            Shorter is good. I kind of hope we get a decent heads up what the non-elim is to decide if its worth skipping

        • I’M BACK!

          And for my first comment of the new season, I am going to chime in, 8 days late, to say you were actually right the first time. “Kemper and I’ is correct, because if you removed her from the sentence it would still work (‘I have been watching…’). In the second version, if you removed her it would be ‘Myself have been watching’, which obviously makes no sense.

          In the same vein, it would be ‘Would you like to watch Survivor with Kemper and me?’, rather than ‘with Kemper and I?’.

          Here endeth the grammar lesson. I’m here all week for pedantic corrections of the English language, and receiving punches to the face.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            That’s a callback to downthread where Kemper and others are railing against the misuse of the reflexive pronoun.

            I’m here all week for pedantic corrections of the English language

            You’re among your own kind.

  • BadPlayer91

    Is the comments starting to glitch for anyone else? Are we creating too much content?

    • Purplerockmatt

      yeah whenever a disqus thread gets over a certain number it becomes unstable. But comments find a way…

      • indescribable hat

        Kinja has made me way more forgiving of this.

        • Purplerockmatt

          oh its way, way, way better than Kinja

    • Hitting refresh usually helps remedy the problem.

      • BadPlayer91

        Yeah, I closed and re-opened the page which helped. But before that, refreshing wasn’t helping, and there was a chunk of comments I knew were there that I couldn’t see.

        • Maritimer

          Refreshing usually just cuts a different set of comments for me

    • i and 1

      You may already be doing this, but disqus has (or used to have for a long time, at least) the sort of issue you describe for comments sorted “by Oldest” once the number of comments becomes large. Sorting by “Newest” has been the fix for that particular problem. Been ages since I tried “by Oldest”, and maybe they fixed it, but…

      • Hornacek

        But then I’d have to read comments from the bottom of the page to the top!

        • i and 1

          Yeah, it sucks, and was unnatural to me, but it fixed the problem. And I hated to admit it at first (preferring to maintain my rage at disqus) but it is actually also best for me to sort by New when I have to chime in late, when I’m looking for new threads from other late arrivals who might actually respond.

          • Hornacek

            I will try that out but I know it will feel weird.

      • Hornacek

        I tried this today – displaying all comments, sorted by “Newest”. Later I got a few “show new reply” links appearing; I clicked one of them and the page shifted a bit. When I scrolled down to where that comment was, it (and any new comments under it) had disappeared. Just like when I sort it by “Oldest”. So using “Newest” doesn’t seem to work either (at least for me in Chrome).

        • i and 1

          Ah, well. For some reason, I don’t use the “show new reply” feature, maybe because it didn’t work and confused me way back when? I had only seen the technique work for finding comments I knew were out there, but had gone missing.

          It’s been some time since I noticed missing comments, but I guess there’s a good chance I got missing comments again now for some new reason and just don’t realize it.

          It mght be worth a try again sometime, if you are trying to track down comments that were there before and are now missing; but it is apparently not the answer you were looking for there, and it it really is a pretty old “pro-tip”, likely out of date.

          • Hornacek

            Maybe we’re talking about different things (puts on nerd geek hat). Usually on Thursday mornings I open the Liveblog page, read the comments, and then leave that page open. As people reply to comments, “Show # new replies” links appear under the corresponding comments. When the page doesn’t have a lot of comments, I can click these links and the new comments will appear. But at a point where the page has a LOT of comments, when I click one of these pages, the page “shifts” (like I hit Page Up or Down a few times) and if I try to find the comment that I clicked the link for, it’s gone. I have to reload the entire page, click the “Load more comments” button at the bottom of the page a bunch of times, and then search for comments posted within the last hour (or however long it was when “Show # new replies” links started appearing.

            So that’s how I view these comments, with “Oldest” selected. Not sure what you mean by not using the “show new reply” feature. What is this feature and how do you shut it on/off?

          • prettyboyprobst

            Not sure if this helps, but if you click on the timestamp of a comment (yellow marker shows up on the left) before reloading the page, disqus will jump directly to that comment again and you at least won’t have to scroll down and click the “Load more comments” button so often.

            However, I don’t have sufficiently tested yet how that affects new or otherwise disappearing comments, maybe some are still gone after reloading or others are missing instead.

          • Hornacek

            I mean, my point is that I don’t want to have to reload the page. Once I have it open and have read all the comments that have been posted up until that point, I want to be able to click the “Show new reply” links that appear when new reply-comments have been added.

            I guess I’ll just have to reload the page and then search for comments posted in the previous # hours.

          • prettyboyprobst

            I know, but all I can offer is this little work-around when you’re already forced to reload the page. Maybe you can combine it with switching to “Show newest first” after you’ve read eveything? Sounds like sorting comments in that order is more stable for some reason. So read everything until comments won’t show up after clicking “show new reply”, mark the parent-comment, reload, switch to newest first and hope the problem won’t re-appear again as long as you keep the tab open, could be worth a try.

            I also like to keep the tabs open so I can just jump to new comments, but usually I just give up on the comments that don’t appear when they should.

          • Hornacek

            If I open the page and sort by “Oldest”, click “Load more comments” until all comments are visible, and then sort by “Newest”, the comments reload and only the first ~50 appear (just like if I had reloaded the webpage) and I have to click “Load more comments” all those times again to make all comments visible. So that doesn’t work.

          • prettyboyprobst

            Yeah, that doesn’t work like I envisioned it, just tested a bit myself.
            If the marked comment isn’t on the first page after re-sorting anyways, disqus will either just put him on top, but without all the replys, or it cuts enough comments in between so that it does appear on the first page.

          • Hornacek

            I guess the only solution is to ask all the other commenters not to post so many comments so that when I click the “Show new reply” links it shows the new comment instead of hiding the corresponding comment and having to reload the entire page.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      This happens every week for me. I do this on my phone.

  • Ms_Woozah

    The cast seems likable enough so far, with the usual share of wackos. Joe I can see getting irritating quickly, and I hope Alan used up his crazy for the whole season, because yeesh. I actually liked the editing of the episode — made the typical predictable first boot a little more uncertain.

    Outing myself as a Bachelor fan here, but JP and Ashley are the names of one of the only stable couples to come out of that franchise, so every time I heard their names together it took me out of the show a little bit. “Why are they here? They should be taking care of their baby!”

  • Well the Katrina interviews were intresting because it revealed she got unlucky. This because Alan used her as a source for his idol claims against JP and Chrissy throwing her under the bus did not help her with anything. Sad but probably for the best for the season.

    • StormofCuteness

      Oooooh, so strange/interesting that they left that out of the edit. Are they not wanting us to think Alan was cruel? Just crazy?

      • They probably didn’t have enough time and they are still wanting us to be misdirected.

  • NearlyNina

    Really wish this had been a 90 min episode. I feel like I still don’t know half these people.

    First impressions:
    -Sex Doctor Mike is adorable, but I don’t think he’s going to last long.
    -Roark is way more built than I thought! Desi is also, but I expected that. Ashley is way less than I thought. Super worried about keeping Ashley on my team, but my options are limited with the other three I have.
    – Cole is very one dimensional so far. I’ve dropped him from my team and taken Devon instead. Devon seems kinda dumb, but possibly in a Jay sort of way?

    Strategy:

    – Ashley as the younger “strong” woman on her tribe immediately siding with the guys was the best move at the time for her, but cozying up with JP was not. That’s how you get your ass voted out!

    – Ali trying to get in an alliance with Patrick was kind of a total fail. He failed to understand her “What do you think of us” and instead thought she was talking about the tribe in general (or purposefully played it that way?). Either way he didn’t seem that into it or very smart and there was no mention of a 4.

    – Ryan buddying up with Devon is a smart move on his part. I wasn’t so sure about the idol reveal, but it seemed to go well and he no longer has it, so it’s less likely to bite him in the ass.

    – Alan had crazy eyes for most of that episode. But, on the bright side no one seems to suspect he’s a pro athlete… Maybe this is a purposeful strategy? I don’t know. I will say though that claiming no one had been talking to him was a good play to get the mom squad to trust him, although, why did they believe him?

    – Chrissy made the right move in not playing the idol to save… that other lady. Keeping her around wouldn’t help her other than as a potential buffer meanwhile she would have gotten everyone’s hackles up and pissed off the other group who did vote together.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      “no one seems to suspect he’s a pro athlete…”
      I wonder what he told them his job was, though? (Or did I miss a scene that showed it?)
      In a season where they’re divided by occupations you’d think it would be really tough to lie about your job/background. He’s in a particularly rough spot being on the Heroes tribe, because he would have to come up with something heroic but take pains to avoid claiming to do something ~too~ heroic where it would be frowned upon to lie about it. For example he should definitely not claim to be a veteran, firefighter, etc. Maybe he could pull off teacher in a low income school district or something?
      Anyway, I’m guessing he’ll pretty much have to tell his teammates that he was in the NFL, but it’s interesting that we didn’t see it in the premiere especially given all the attention he got.

      • NearlyNina

        Yeah, I found it pretty weird that they didn’t get into it at all. With most other professional athletes you at least get the obligatory, “I hope no one recognizes me; I’m going to say I do x” confessional since the show wants to hype them.

        • Assistant Dragon Slayer

          Football teams are so much larger than baseball or basketball teams that unless you’re a star you can actually be a bit anonymous. That they wear helmets adds to this. Cliff Robinson, Jeff Kent, and John Rocker all had a lot more to worry about than Alan, Steve Wright or even Gary Hawkins.

        • DrVanNostrand

          He should’ve said he was a ‘Heroic Landscaper’

      • the sky is falling

        The dude is built like a tank. they know…

  • Assistant Dragon Slayer

    So the marooning on Australian Survivor was almost exactly the same, except they were racing for a big-ass bag of rice and not fire. Also, only the winning tribe got to keep their supplies; the losing tribe got nothing. In the comments we were wondering if this was setting up a Fiji-like have and have nots situation, but we realized that it had to be that way otherwise there was an incentive to not even try, and just pluck supplies out of the water instead. It’s interesting (and not in a good way) that the Hustlers didn’t figure this out.

    • Roswulf

      I was wondering about that too.

      Is it possible that once the bell was rung they weren’t allowed to keep harvesting the sea?

      Because otherwise…I deride these hustlers hustling ability.

    • sharculese

      This came upon KIA and Rob pointed out that even if it’s good strategy, it probably won’t ever happen, at least on a newbie season, because it requires someone to stick their neck out and suggest it.

    • i and 1

      I thinking about that too, and the last shot we had of the teams rowing away from the big ship appeared to at least show nothing was left behind floating.

  • Super duper fan

    I’ve finally watched the premiere. Som e of my thoughts:
    -They should’ve done a 90-minute premiere. 60 minutes is way too short.
    -I really liked Chrissy, and I thought not using an idol was a good move for her. I’ve also really enjoyed Ali and Ben so far, and I don’t dislike anybody for now.
    -Alan is cray-cray.

    Most of the other things were already talked about by other commenters, and the premiere was generally pretty meh. But I definetely think that it could be setting up some very interesting storylines later.

    And since BB is over, I will be mentioning my updates of watching for the first time all the seasons in liveblogs. I finished BB8, and have began the wonderful journey that is BB9.

    • Prom King

      have began the wonderful journey that is BB9

      An acclaimed season full of fascinating game moves and interesting players! Almost as good as Season 1!

  • UseYourCommonSense

    Boring premiere, the cast seems bland. Alan is a nut so hopefully he’ll stay around for entertainment.

    Also the nerdy fish out of water stereotype is so fucking tired I wish they would give it up.

    • the sky is falling

      The problem with Alan is that he is an aggressive paranoid type of crazy like Brandon Hantz, not a harmless crazy like Phillip shepherd or Coach. You can’t take him as a goat. He’s a toxic Abi Maria or Shamar style goat, unsafe and dangerous

      • Ms. Sweaterfan

        Abi is a good comparison – it seems like he has no problem lashing out at people he’s in an alliance with (though at least he ultimately still voted with them…this time)

        • Max_Jets

          Acts like an Abi, but thinks like a Malcolm. Just wait until this wonderful hybrid wins the million!

    • I’m fine with the right nerd, but Ryan is not my type of nerd.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I’m not sick of nerds per se, but the way they’ve played them up since Cochran is getting really tired. It’s like being a nerd is their entire Survivor personality – they always dress them really goofy, and all they talk about is how socially awkward they are, how uncoordinated, etc. It would be totally fine if they continued casting that type occasionally, but just sort of let them be who they are more naturally. This is probably a big ask, though, because I get the sense that during casting you’re pushed further and further into a box that is just one tiny aspect of your personality, so by the time you get on the show you’re kind of conditioned to frame everything in that context.

      ETA: it’s also not helping that nerd and superfan are becoming conflated on the show. It’s nice to know that’s how Survivor views its most loyal fans :/

      • Assistant Dragon Slayer

        Hmm. I have a different take. The show clearly keeps going to the nerd/superfan well in hopes of finding the next Cochran, but I think it’s bigger than that. I think what they learned from Cochran is that someone who embodies a certain stereotype, but then defies that stereotype on the show, is storytelling gold. So yeah, they keep trying to tell the “nerd who actually thrived on the island” story: Aubry, Zeke, David Wright, etc. But in recent seasons the show has been equally interested in other stereotype-busters, like Jay, Bret, Julia, and Tai.

        It’s too soon to tell with HHH, of course, but having listened to a lot of the pre-season interviews, I think several people were cast in the hope that they’d be very different than their “type” (for better or worse). In addition to next-Cochrans Ryan and Mike, these include Ben, Chrissy, Roark, Cole, and Simone.

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          I hope you’re right, because I do enjoy a stereotype buster. In fact, I will fully admit that I expected Ben to be a gruff Cowboy Rick type and so far he has really proven me wrong 🙂

          • I had pretty medium expectations of Ben from his bio, because I just liked how human it was.

          • StormofCuteness

            I liked his bio a lot. In fact, it was my favorite. I feel silly that I didn’t even check to see if he was taken, but I’ve rectified that error now.

          • What stood out to me was his mention of his friend who died in combat. It didn’t feel like bragging or like he needed to mention him to get brownie points. He just thought that he was Ben’s inspiration and just mentioned it.

          • StormofCuteness

            Yes, he felt way more genuine than most of the other bios.

        • I wouldn’t call Zeke a nerd in regards to the show, especially on MvGX. I think he is more fish out of water.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            For the purposes of that post I was eliding the difference between nerd and superfan, but upon further reflection Zeke could be Exhibit A in support of my theory that Survivor is newly eager to cast people who they think will be very different players than first impressions would suggest (referring to Zeke the player only; there’s no way they wanted Zeke to get outed).

  • Mike Hirsch

    You guys, I think maybe, just maybe, Alan did the dicks.

  • Due to still recovering from illness, I am freshly done watching the premiere and like most, was underwhelmed. They definitely needed to do 90 minutes, especially since we didn’t hear from people like Simone. My small takeaway is that I have a weird hunch that Lauren is second boot because her weirdly placed confessional as the leader of the tribe when she seems to be uninvolved else well was just well, weird.

    We got a lot of Ryan, but that was because of the idol mostly. As much as Production wants Ryan to be a star, my star of the episode is Ben. He’s not my winner pick, but Ben had a pretty good first episode.

    My even bigger takeaway is that we got a bunch of recruits based on a few things:
    In his conversation with Ali, Patrick mentions how they need to win the first tribal.
    In his “man-to-man” with Joe, Mike mentions that the rope came from the bag with the bandanas.

    • Hornacek

      I think Mike was keeping the rope so he could eventually make a fake idol, like David revealed in the MvGx finale (?) that he had been collecting bits and pieces throughout the game to make an idol.

      As far as recruits, in Josh’s last episode of First One Out, he was interviewing Ryan after day 1 and Ryan said that after they lost the marooning challenge he talked to one of the other guys on his tribe (can’t remember if it was Patrick or Devon) and they said that maybe their tribe is cursed because they got the red buff because the Villains tribe on HvV had the red buff, and Ryan was impressed that this guy knew that because he thought they were a recruit.

      • But Villains was a good tribe. They just weren’t set up to be physical threats.