Survivor Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers Episode 2 Liveblog: “I’m a Wild Banshee”

Follow us on Twitter and Storify below for the second episode of Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers!

Matt
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Matt

Matt has an irrational dislike for all contestants named Michel(l)e. Also if he ever takes a strong stance about why everyone else is wrong, it is he that is inevitably wrong.

Favorite seasons: Micronesia, Heroes vs. Villains, Palau, Philippines, Pearl Islands, Cagayan
Matt
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895 thoughts on “Survivor Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers Episode 2 Liveblog: “I’m a Wild Banshee”

          1. I remember back when the Newswire listed the articles in a clear manner in a clearly labelled area. Those were the days.

          2. Remember when you could see a list of recent reviews with their grades? Good times.

            Seriously, who designed that. It doesn’t look good on pcs, tablets or phones. Nothing is easy to find.

          3. The comment sections on the Survivor posts are now just people saying “this is still on?” and other people saying “I guess Kinja killed the Survivor posts”

  1. So Ashley’s right that you can’t prove a negative (except that you sometimes can), but it’s definitely not helping her that she keeps throwing around the phrase “power couple.”

    1. Her voice/manner of speaking was beyond annoying. I’m not generally a person who gets annoyed by people’s voices, speaking styles, accents, but she was sooo whiny!

  2. The viewers will never know the truth that only players have learned – there is no air conditioning on Survivor.

  3. Watching Devon talk about being deceptive is like watching a foal try to stand up for the first time.

    1. Cole’s facial expressions are confirming my suspicion that his wilderness guide stuff is mostly about teaching kids which plants get you high.

  4. God, Joe’s running through the forest looking for the idol. The Tony schtick never ends.

  5. “Mike’s a likable guy and I kinda like him.”

    Yes, Joe. Generally you will tend to like likable people.

      1. Is that supposed to be “ayahuasca”? I’m not being pedantic; I sincerely want to know if there’s another entheogenic plant I need to know about!

          1. I don’t think they’re attractive but I can definitely tell they are. I have to wonder what people who can’t tell they’re attractive look for in a person, at least physically.

          2. Look, someone at PRP (I won’t name names) said Joe was their number one. On this season of all seasons. Can’t account for taste.

          3. NAME ME, TFT, I’M NOT SCARED!
            Though Joe is falling behind Alan and Patrick and…Ben? We’ll see, stay tuned!

          4. But can we all agree that Redemption Island would have been so much better if RI was called THE MURDER CAGE instead?

          5. You’d think, but as the great Andrea/Hali debate of 2017 showed, we can never agree. Only one may rule!

      1. I’m with Taako and the sky is falling here. Cole outshines Ken. There’s something about his smile on top of being hot as hell

          1. I’m right and don’t feel bad (mind you, I argued Jay was hotter than Ken too. I think its just type preference)

          1. Age might play a factor in where you fall in the Cole/Ken debate.

            And, as usual, it is the young people who are wrong.

    1. Yeah, I’m sure he’s just invisible to all those 30 year old women. They don’t even know he’s there 🙁

  6. Really makes no sense that the raft would be the landmark on the map when the raft is picked up and moved into the water.

    1. And then moved around the water, and then brought back to land and placed wherever the fuck anybody wants to.

      I know there’s a lot of competition but this might have been The Dumbest Thing Ever Said on Survivor.

      1. Cole should’ve gotten Joe to start digging five feet from wherever he put the raft that day. Then moved the raft to a different spot later.

    2. I laughed at Joe’s logic that since the map showed the raft, and Cole was out on the raft, therefore Cole must have found the idol. Like Cole rowed out, stopped at a specific spot, said “I think the idol is here!” and dove down, finding the first (?) idol ever hidden in the ocean.

  7. So after you find the idol clue carved on a tree, can you take a rock and scratch the tree so the clue is unreadable?

  8. Cole is smart enough to decipher the clue, but not enough to keep it to himself and not tell Joe.

    1. He’s just a friendly boy who wants to tell you about how chewing this root will bring all of us together.

    2. “You know what is gonna help me in this game? As a therapist, I am always helping others conquer and triumph…”

      1. Exactly! They’ll never suspect it!

        I was actually looking forward to having Tony still around the fourth or fifth episode of Game Changers where the water gatherers found a small cave-in by the well and heard a very faint “…help…”

  9. How I feel about this entire season is now going to hang on whether we have to suffer through JP and Simone on screen at the same time.

  10. Can y’all believe we’re almost a half hour in and haven’t even gotten to a challenge yet? Something crazy is coming down the pike.

    1. I had that realization about halfway in, but I liked it. We got to see and meet people I didn’t know existed. This was the get to know you episode which Matt noted we didn’t get last week

    1. Her read and decision making skills seemed really impressive this week. If Andy actually was ever willing to eat crow, I feel like he’d be eating crow this week.

      1. I mean, her ability to miss tribal council thus completely changing her narrative since she was never a boot target this week was pretty impressive.

      2. After last week I was regretting choosing Chrissy as my first pick in the draft. This week I’m feeling better.

        1. I mean even last week the fact that the tribe wanted to vote out the Olympic Swimmer rather than her when there were definitely going to be swimming competitions upcoming was a good sign.

          1. I agree with this. Although there’s a chance that they picked Katrina simply because “her haircut makes her look older”.

      1. I would argue it’s less about the edits they get and more about them both being doofuses.

  11. Another Ali confessional where she talks about Patrick and doesn’t mention their prior relationship. I don’t think it’s ever gonna be mentioned.

    1. I will never be mentioned. Doesn’t fit with the story their trying to tell and they probably want to avoid all the facebook moms complaining that it isn’t fair.

        1. Lot’s of things in Survivor aren’t fair. Also, it was never mentioned in Samoa that Brett and Laura knew each other. So past history also leads me to think it won’t be mentioned. Plus if I was them I wouldn’t bring it up on camera and at most nod knowingly at each other.

    2. Now I wasn’t to see Jeff Spicolli on Survivor.

      PROBST: Welcome! To season thirty…
      SPICOLLI: Hey… I know that dude!

      1. They were mutually acquainted in college. I’m pretty sure it’s one of those things where they knew each other’s names but not much more beyond that.

      2. In the pre-season Josh Wigler interviews, Ali says that she recognized Patrick as someone she knew from college. They were friends of friends, but they did actually know each other and were neighbors for awhile.

        Patrick didn’t see anything about this in his interviews, so we don’t know if he recognized her too and is keeping it secret, or he really doesn’t recognize her at all.

          1. I would love it if we found out that in college Ali weighted 300 lbs, had Dr. Mike type glasses, and really bad hair, and that’s why Patrick doesn’t recognize her. Survivor meets She’s All That.

          2. Was She’s All That the one where they put the hot girl in overalls and glasses and then pretended no one realized she was hot? I get my bad 90’s teen movies confused.

          3. I think SAT is the one where Freddie Prinze Jr agrees to take the nerdy unattractive girl the school dance, but she gets glammed up and there’s the iconic scene of her coming down the stairs looking hot (Rachel Leigh Cook). I think the song Kiss Me by the Cranberries is used.

  12. I could honestly live without any of the men on this season. They’re all either The Worst or completely unremarkable. The only one who I have any kind of positive reaction toward is Ben.
    I had such high hopes for you, Bargain Bin Tony.

      1. Reason #53 why I love this site: While certain other Survivor podcasts spent last week doing that, “Ewwwww, naked men, everyone knows they’re disgusting,” thing, around here we reflect the reality that a majority of adult humans like naked men. Or men in wet underwear, whatever.

        1. This also is probably the only Survivor fan site where the Hot Men discussion is five times longer than the Hot Women discussion, and the latter is a bit apologetic about it.

    1. I actually feel very similar. I think the women are just a lot more interesting and strategic this season. Hopefully we’ll get a new female winner out of the mix too 🙂

          1. I didn’t know gills were one of his superpowers. Maybe I should re-read that whole bible thing…. Just kidding, I’ll be way too busy re-listening to the Adventure Zone.

  13. Joe sits out? He must not be good in the water. Or at puzzles. Well he did almost collapse at the last challenge.

      1. It would have been really rad if at the beginning of tonight’s immunity challenge, the healers and hustlers just dove into the water while JP ran into a phone booth, Ashley invoked the power of Castle Greyskull, and Ben rode a motorcycle down the California highway smiling at Ponch.

    1. That was the death knell. She wasn’t just useless in the challenge, she was actively harmful. The show tried real hard to make Patrick seem like a viable boot option, but there was never a doubt.

      1. I think the contestants and the show did an admirable job in showing why it might be Patrick. They failed to do an adequate job of showing why it wouldn’t be Simone.

  14. Ok, so we talked enough about Troy’s dragon last season that I’m going to say two things about this season: I think production purposely put Cole in striped briefs to give his ass a topographical effect. And was never evidence on the show to support the rumors about Troy’s dragon, but Ryan is … um … his briefs are distracting.

          1. I am to please.

            FYI I’m getting my wife to grab me a physical copy of that Young Sheldon article in the UR student paper.

    1. Oh thank God I’m not the only one who noticed that (I’m all about the Cole aesthetic decision as well. Don’t ever give him a bathing suit)

    2. Agreed. There was a surprising amount of bulge tonight, none of it blurred. And as long as we’re on the subject, I find it hilarious that the red and blue tribes are all wearing underwear that matches their tribal colors (although the yellow tribe isn’t, for some reason). Has the show ever gone this far to make sure we know which color tribe people are on?

      1. I think the reason none of the healers are in yellow briefs are because, as much silhouette as blue and red briefs provide, you really silhouette in lighter colors, e.g. white and yellow. So for the sake of not making the bulges too prominent, the Healer’s underwear is yellow-adjacent or black, which is yellow-complementary.

        But yes, this is a step beyond what production normally dictates for wardrobe. Eventually we’ll get people dipped in paint a la Blue Man Group before going out on the island.

    1. Ali’s in a strong position, with good ties to everyone on the tribe, so they blamed the other one on the puzzle. Pretty standard.

      1. Yeah it’s one of those things where it’s “the challenge performance is blamed where it’s actually no one felt very strong with her” things that happen pretty frequently.

        You wanna know why someone gets voted out pre-swap. 80% of the time it’s bad social connections and 20% of the time it’s someone plays too hard.

    2. Simone wasn’t fitting in with the tribe or the environment, so she gets targeted.
      Also at least Ali was trying and did a good job of looking like she was accomplishing something. Simone’s contribution mostly consisted of her demanding people tell her what to do and standing there looking confused.

    3. It’s the classic “Find a reason to justify voting off the person we already wanted gone” strategy. Same thing happened last season with Ciera (she threw out Caleb’s name, which was all Malcolm needed).

    1. I like Ryan a lot more than I’ve ever liked Cochran.
      Although… To be fair, that’s a pretty low bar.

      1. Oh very much the opposite. Ryan does make me understand why people didn’t like Cochran though.

    2. He’s that midway point between Tony and Russell, with the antics of the former and all of the charm of the latter.

      1. You’ve gone too far! I must defend Joe against this libel. He’s kind of obnoxious but he’s not a vicious little goblin!

        1. Thank you for putting “vicious little goblin” in my head… that is a perfectly apt description for him!

          Although of course he is nowhere near the depths of Hantz. I think in this situation, Joe’s complete lack of emotional intelligence helps my impression of him. He’s a jackass, not a scumbag.

  15. As Ryan is talking about who is the most loyal, Patrick is looking at his reflection in the scuba mask.

    1. He provides a service for people! At a low wage!

      I bet you’re one of those people with wheels on their suitcases! “No thank you, bellboy. I’ll take my own!”

        1. According to a documentary I watched about Macaulay Culkin’s New York vacation, you give them your used gum.

          1. Guilty as charged. I also own every other movie that Andreas Katsulas was in, so I’m also the one person who bought “Jane Austen’s Mafia!,” “Hot Shots Part Deux,” and “Executive Decision.” Although “Executive Decision” is a lot of fun if you really hate Steven Seagal.

      1. I gotta say, if the luggage racks are all being used, I don’t like Ryan’s chances of carrying my luggage better than I can.

  16. You know that Ryan had that birthday party speech memorized for months, waiting for the chance to say it at his first tribal.

          1. Well, that analogy was actually perfect for the situation, it just did absolutely nothing to prove his point.

      1. Yeah, Jesus, how was that the wrong answer? All you gotta do is know someone (or two) is after you, and then I can imagine only minimal downside. (“Hey, the fisher is after me!”)

        Seems like I might be missing something though.

        1. What do you mean? The entire pre-merge was separating the wheat and pitching it straight in the trash.

        1. If Zeke wasn’t too busy making BIG MOVZESSSSS then we would have had the non factor goddess Mari doing nothing all the way to the end.

          1. I cannot say with all honesty that she would have been a nonfactor. My hunch was the perception of her being an all around threat ala Michaela would have had her taken out in the swap phase anyway.

          2. Her dismissal of Hannah at that tribal really showed how clueless she was. The fact that Mari basically shrugged when Michelle was busy flipping Hannah right there at tribal didn’t do much to sell her as a master player.

    1. I’mma defend her a bit. She knew the correct target to go after and instigated that movement on her own volition. Her arguments were not terrible in doing so. She presented her case and backed off when she got a yes, which is about all you can do. She had a possible “city girl learning to survive” story they could have told. As far as challenge factor, it was essentially a team puzzle so she’s really not culpable. She was edited to be disliked by a bunch of 2-second shots of her frowning, but when she spoke it was mostly succinct, and if she did anything overly annoying, they clearly didn’t have the footage to show it or they would have because “early boot who is annoying” is this show’s bread and butter. This vote struck me Ryan/Devon wanting to keep another man and nothing in particular she did wrong, other than going on a survival-based show when you’ve never set foot in the wild.

      1. She seemed boring, but fine. I’m okay with her going, because I think she would have been purpled anyways, but as a player she seemed fine

    2. She was an amusing second boot. The vague pretentiousness and use of trending words like “narrative” made me smile and cringe at the same time. I bet she would have eventually used “trending” and “cringey” as well. Maybe even “pivot”. I can imagine her as a one-scene character from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

      1. Honestly, he is fine and I kind of think the hate for him was blown out of proportion. He isn’t Cochran, but he certainly isn’t the worst version of the super fan archetype (cough, Colton, cough).

          1. I understand. I make it a point to learn as little as possible about the players outside of the game. Congratulations on you wedding!

    1. Ryan has potential, he just needs to shun his “poor little me” schtick, which my auto-correct tried to make Schlitz, which is awesome.
      Also, before the auto-correct, I was going to say that there wasn’t that sort of thing from Ryan this episode. I liked him more tonight.

      1. Agreed Ryan’s self-pity or whatever it is is the part about him that I really object to. There was a lot less of it today and so I liked him a lot more

      2. Every time I type the word “the” my phone suggests “X-Men”. I have no idea why. I don’t care about the X-Men.

          1. Good point. Do you think that the term “those X-Men” is acceptable? It kind sounds bad…

      3. I actually had a super negative reaction to Ryan tonight. I was not having it when he started talking about how “weird” Simone is. “She just doesn’t fit in” has been coded white man survivor racism for a long time – not that 35 seasons hasn’t prepared me for it, especially in the early episodes.

        1. I thought that was an odd thing for him (of all people) to call her too. But do you really think it was racism? Rather than him just not liking how she carried herself or her dislike of the outside alienating her from everyone else? She came across as pretty pretentious to me (and the not liking the outside was odd as well) – and he did appear to ally with Ali.

          My jury’s still out on Ryan, so I’m not necessarily defending him, but rather questioning whether his comments were actually coming from a place of racism. I just don’t see it.

          1. Aside from what we know about Ryan outside of the game, which definitely lends itself to that assumption, I don’t think complaining that it’s hot is enough to qualify as weird (which she did in confessional). I think this is a case of what did we see vs. what did they tell. Despite not loving the outdoors coming in (which is not exactly unusual in the history of Survivor), we literally saw her cleaning a fish with in five minutes of that. Her actions demonstrated trying – she may not have been camping before, but she read up on it and tried to put it into action. I didn’t find her pretentious in the game – what she said to her tribe was, “I hate the outside.. I’m challenging myself.. trying to like new things.” That’s the only real complaining we saw that I can recall, and it was mild. I’m not saying she didn’t gel with the tribe – I’m saying the reason she didn’t gel with the tribe has roots in racism. I’m not saying it’s overt – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And I did notice the only person who appeared to reach out to her was Ali. Women of color are almost always targeted early on Survivor – and Survivor is never going to tell that story, that this is the reason they are voted out, especially since it’s not necessarily overt. But any time I hear the words, “weird,” or “doesn’t connect,” or ” isn’t blending well,” my ears are going to prick up.

    2. Same. It kind of hit me during tribal that I no longer hate him. Not going for him, but I don’t hate him

    3. But wasn’t that line actually made funny by Patrick? He should get credit for that. Poor Ryan was just weirdly explaining his already weird analogy.

    4. Considering that before the season I was sure that the first tribal the Hustlers went to Ryan would be voted off, I was impressed that his name never came up when discussing the vote.

  17. If Patrick doesn’t get voted out here, then I guess he can say just about anything at tribal and not get voted out.

          1. Look, we try not to talk about the Incident, but we certainly don’t talk about the book.

  18. Most surprising thing about this episode: impressed by Patrick’s very precise handwriting, given his… less precise tribal answer.

  19. PSA: after several false starts figuring out how I would do this, check the underground league page after the west coast airing for an actual draft.

          1. Chrissy got a similar edit at the last tribal. Luckily for me, they are both on my pick-4 team.

          2. I thought it was established that she was Slytherin. Because she uses the evil fantasy magicks.

          1. Do we really want to play that game when she’s on a tribe with Jessica? Jessica was actually on screen tonight, but I’d bet none of us could pick her out a lineup.

          2. I believe Cole talked about this ‘Jessica’ person. But no, I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup.

        1. Last week I thought Roark was the winner. Her non-edit tonight is putting a crack in that theory.

          1. There have been winners, almost always female, who’ve had an invisible edit or two, like Sophie and Natalie White, who won in the end against obnoxious men…Oh God, that means we’re getting Joe all season, aren’t we? Goddamnit.

          2. There you go. Roark is Sophie, and Joe is Coach Russell. Suck it, edgic. We just solved the HHH Survivor puzzle.

  20. “You’re the Hustler tribe. When you get knocked down, you get back up.”

    Is the Hustler tribe actually Chumbawumba???

    1. “You’re the Hustler tribe. We’ve abandoned all accepted meanings for that term and decided that you’re just the same as the ‘No Collars’. We even gave you the same color”

      1. And Joe even pointed out how the yellow tribe is the beauty tribe. They’re not even trying anymore.

      1. Are there other words in that song? When I try to sing the song in my head, all I get is “You get knocked down, and you get up again… mumble mumble mumble mumble”.

        1. He takes a whiskey drink
          He takes a vodka drink
          He takes a lager drink
          He takes a cider drink
          He sing the songs that remind him of the good times
          He sing the songs that remind him of the better times

          Ooooh Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy

          Yes, I have space in brain that could be dedicated to useful things but instead is devoted to the lyrics to Tubthumping. What of it?

          1. He makes a hero tribe
            He makes a healer tribe
            He makes a hustler tribe
            He makes no collar tribe

            He watches tape that reminds him of the good times (talk show)
            He watches tape that reminds him of the best times (Two and a Half Men guest appearance)
            — “Probsthumping”

          2. It’s “best times” (not “better times”), but thanks for the earworm, which I needed! I’ve been trying to get this minor A-ha song out of my head for days. I was in Norway for two weeks, and my husband kept using that same song to wake us up every day, because it was the only Norwegian song he had on his playlist.

          3. Sorry but 3 different lyrics sites say you’re wrong. “He sing the songs that remind him of the better times” is the lyric.

          4. My bad, you are right, I was definitely wrong — and I blame it on the sibilance of the echo effect they are using! — but I do want to point out that because of you, I had to give Chumbawamba their 22,875,919th view.

    2. True story: Chumbawumba once came to a party at my former flat. Roommates were antagonistic and started shouting that song at them until they left. Fun night!

      1. My favorite Chumbawumba anecdote (maybe the only one about them that exists) is when their Tubthumping album came out and was a big success, they told their fans to steal it instead of buying it. The stores* actually had to remove it from the shelves and you had to ask for it at the cashier.

        * Millennials: in the old days people had to actually go to a store and buy music in a physical medium. I know, right?

          1. We had a long discussion about this at my office once. I found out I was like one year away from being a millennial. I was almost insulted.

            Side note one of my coworkers mentioned MvGX during that didiscussion which is how I found out he was also a Survivor fan…

          1. I think they’ve stopped using abbreviations in texting (because of the beauty of the English language).

    1. That’s just what Survivor needs to stay fresh and relevant: a prejudice that hasn’t been seen on the show before. There, um, wouldn’t be that many left to pick from.

  21. I’m going to own up to liking Patrick. Or at least, I like that the show is just giving us shots of Patrick being weird and a dork at every opportunity.
    I found myself kind of liking most (all) of the Hustlers tonight. They are a strange tribe. I approve.
    Heroes? Eh. Ben’s ok.
    Healers are harder to gauge but Joe is definitely not Tony, having undergone a slight helping of plastic surgery in order to play again, because if he was, he’d be far more entertaining.

    1. I love Survivor’s character-driven montages, and that “Patrick is an idiot” montage was just killer. I’m sort of glad he’s still around if we’ll get more than that.

      Those of you who paid more attention to the pregame press than I did, what exactly is the small business that he owns?

          1. The “White Diversity Advocate” would be a great Chappelle Show sketch. He wants to make sure there are Germanic, Nordic, Anglo, Slavic, etc… white people all represented properly in the work force.

      1. I’m going to take a wild stab and say it involves beef jerky that looks and tastes like tree bark.

    2. I’m sure Patrick’s schtick is annoying, at least to some degree. But I’m also sure that the whole montage was wildly exaggerated to fuel the ‘Maybe Simone doesn’t really go home?’ thread.

    3. It was when they got to the scene of him checking himself out in the reflection of the goggles when I thought “I’m on board for more Patrick if they keep highlighting what a doofus he is”.

    4. After finding out that Patrick is afraid of crabs, I find his decision to put a crab in his pocket last week even more perplexing.

        1. I do, but is this where I got this from? I thought I came up with this on my own.

          Please don’t sue me for plagiarism.

      1. Got crab in pocket
        Got flint I’m gonna use it
        I’m a doofus, no denying
        Gonna make you, Lauren, make you nutso

  22. Seems like this season could still end up pretty solid. good stories started w Mike/Joe/Cole and Alan Chrissy Ben and Ryan/mini woo
    so far Ben is the biggest surprise of the season to me. Seem s my ch more likable and aware than I expected

  23. The only downside to tonight was that they had to work overtime to fit in all the character development that could have padded out a longer premiere. But I am liking Ben/Chrissy, and Ali the power player on Hustlers. She, Ryan, and Devon could do some damage on that tribe and come swap time once Chrissy comes into play.

          1. It’s still super-early but I feel like we paid so much attention to Desi in the pre-season we somehow overlooked Ali.

          2. I actually thought Ali was Desi when everyone was slathering over Desi because that’s how much more I’m attracted to Ali.

          3. I wasn’t paying much attention to preseason, but I definitely didn’t overlook Ali. I could stand her bio, but she was clearly extremely attractive. Desi is too, but she’s gotten way less screen time so far.

          1. Ok, yeah, he’s a great “1st individual immunity challenge winner” that is immediately booted once he doesn’t win.

        1. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ben and Chrissy end up being the swing votes between the Healers and the Hustlers come the merge, which would mean they probably wouldn’t place any higher than fifth.

    1. I was impressed with Ali this episode, particularly since I hadn’t thought highly of her previously. She worked to pull in Simone which was smart and she seems to be in with Ryan and Devon now too. That being said though she is the third in that alliance and Patrick isn’t doing her any favours and now she doesn’t even have Simone so… Good planning, but, so far not a whole lot of ability to actually follow through and convince people. Knowing about people’s plans and having “choices” is only really helpful if you can do something with that info.

      1. Ali impressed me too! I went into the season ready to like her, but I thought for sure she would be a sidekick type. Instead, this episode portrayed her as a bit of a shot caller. And though I think she was a little bit less in charge than they made her out to be, I think that bodes well for her story arc in the long run.

        1. She was the one I picked for my pick-4 that I wanted to the least, from a strategic perspective. Celebrity Assistant? It seemed so far removed, yet maybe I subconsciously understood the power of swimming in bullshit for a living. Anyhow, I decided if I think she’s a bad choice, then she’s probably a good one, and man was I right!

          1. Hey man! I can’t put it off forever!

            Thank you, I would like that. There’s a chance I will be busier than I like, and my schedule will make timely commenting difficult, but I wanna give it a shot. Good news is I should be pretty available for daytime drafting, if that’s when it happens.

          2. The draft is extremely flexible, because you essentially stay on the clock until you submit a pick. We start well in advance of the season just in case anyone is unavailable for a while and can’t pick.

      2. I don’t think there was a bad option for her tonight as she is positioned well with everyone, so she went with trying to avoid tribal.

  24. Ok, I have to post this now to get some eyes on it:

    Ladles and spatulas, dwarves and elves, fellow PRP commenters of all stars and stripes: I come to you with a plug. It’s not a fantasy baseball league (though I hear the PRP fantasy basketball league could use recruits and/or a commissioner to run their league). The thing I’m plugging here is a binge listen of The Adventure Zone. It’s a podcast where, in the words of the hosts, “four idiots play DnD so hard, they made themselves cry.”

    Now if a podcast devoted to Dungeons and Dragons sounds too nerdy for you, get over yourself and realize you’re reading a website devoted to Survivor. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be negging you. But really, don’t worry about that, because the story quickly goes off the DnD narrative rails. At its core, this podcast is three brothers and their dad presenting a science-fantasy epic to the rhythm of “goof-goof-dildo.” Those brothers in particular are the McElroy brothers of podcast- and advice show on a failed alternative comedy network-fame. Well, they’re semi-famous at least. One of them might be Twitter-verified. If that means anything to you.

    @sharculese:disqus and I are trying to see how many other PRP peeps would like to join us on this binge listen (what would be a re-listen for some of you). So if it sounds like your thing, let us know! And if it doesn’t, consider just trying the first few episodes with us; you might find that it very quickly becomes your thing. Also, if you were ever curious at all about the inspiration of my screen name, this is the time and place. If we get enough interest, we’ll come up with a watch schedule, discussion questions, and such.

    1. I will not binge relisten but I will also say that TAZ is a great great podcast and very funny.

        1. I want to take this time to welcome you to the Baseball Cellar. Our teams sucked equally this year and our archnemises made the post-season. At least the Twinkies didn’t last long. May the Dodgers get snakebit.

          1. Thank you. I wish your team could’ve won another game though. We’ve never had the number one pick before!

      1. Start at the same time we do, and you’ll probably find the bigger difficulty is not binging faster than us.

    2. Get a room! sorry I am just generally anti-podcast, mostly don’t get the medium. Sorry to be a negative nancy, enjoy yer new podcast thing

        1. This is the only podcast I’ve ever watched. They also post a lot of text based content. Pivot to video is a bad thing. Also it’s a review of existing show, your thing is too fringe for me, nbd, just not for me, shoulda kept comment to myself, lol

      1. I’ve tried to be into podcasts, but this is pretty much the only one I listen to as well. I love the ability to listen while doing other things, but I find so many are just not that good.

        1. My tip is that if you listen to them at 1.5 speed, some of them are more interesting than they might otherwise sound.

          1. I refuse to do that. If I don’t have enough time I’ll just get rid of the ones that I care about less.

          2. It’s not a time thing, though it does have that effect. It’s more of a pacing/rhythm thing. Some podcasters talk in a certain cadence because they think it makes for better audio when it actually just makes them sound unnatural and over-rehearsed.

          3. In grad school, they started recording all the lectures. I stopped going to all my 90 minute lectures and watched them online because I don’t have a 90 minute attention span (at least for boring lecture shit). When I discovered the 2x button, I realized that I had basically wasted half of my academic career.

          4. Maybe 10% of the population can make the lecture format work, and nearly none of them are academics. It sucks.

          5. I teach in an active learning style classroom. Full lecture classes are a terrible idea and a holdover from when professors were seen as ‘keepers of knowledge’ who had to come down form up on high to deliver nuggets of wisdom.

          6. And the key to that is that if students aren’t active agents in their own learning, they’re just mimicking the actions they watch the instructor do. And then they’re not internalizing any of the things we’re trying to teach, they’re just performing monkeys.

          7. A good lecture is a story. It draws you in to what’s going on and makes you want to engage with it on your own. It shouldn’t be the only tool in your arsenal, but it’s not worth discarding just because a lot of people are bad at it.

            Saturday mornings I work with a program that prepares green card holders for the citizenship test. One of the questions they’re supposed to be able to robotically answer is “what is the rule of law?” (everyone must obey the law/the government must obey the law). All of them could answer the question, but none of them cared about what it meant until I built a 15 minute lecture for them on how the first 3 sections of the Constitution fit together.

          8. OK that’s in context of other things though. I still lecture for 10-15 minute stretches. You have to constantly mix it up with KIDS THESE DAYS

            Also that sounds like a cool program.

          9. Single best class session I ever had was the professor who opened Federal Courts by talking for 90 minutes about how Marbury v. Madison was wrongly decided. It was entertaining as fuck and it made you think. It can be done.

            Also that sounds like a cool program.

            It’s so cool. Especially because right now we’re on a hot streak of having 8 of our last 8 students pass their test. Last guy was a Guatemalan who’d been here for years but never bothered to apply for citizenship. Then his son decided he wanted to be a citizen, joined the army, and got killed in Afghanistan, so he decided he was gonna complete the process in his memory.

          10. OK that’s fair, it’s very subject dependent.

            I’ve been in way too many physics classes where the professor just derived equations for an hour straight though. Science is about doing not copying.

          11. Oh yeah, I would not carry what I’m saying over to the sciences. Not at all. Maybe like an intro survey class, but that’s it.

          12. That’s awesome that you get to do that on Saturdays. I had to pick up trash on the side of the highway.

          13. As an engineer, I’m not even sure how to improve the system. The material is dry and tedious, with a great deal of theory to learn and understand. Most of the time, little of it makes sense until you actually start trying to solve problems. I was constantly going back to book and lecture, and things came together through the process of doing. I’m not sure how to cram that into 3 hrs/week, or how that 3 hrs/week could be better spent. But recording the lectures was a massive benefit.

          14. So I teach physics classes to all engineers.

            They’re 2 hour classes MWF with sometimes labs during that time. It’s like 6 big round tables in the room.

            Like you said it doesn’t make sense until you try to solve problems. So I introduce material, and then people work on a problem while me and a TA circulate around the room to help people as they work on it together. I think it works pretty well.

          15. I stopped going to my Engineering Physics lectures in undergrad entirely. They were giant weedout classes with hundreds of students and a Physics prof who barely gave a shit. Two of the worst classes in my life. You sound like you’re doing much better.

          16. These classes are capped at 40 students because of the rooms so they’re supposed to be better. But I’m new here and can tell that some of the profs still don’t care and treat it like a weed out class. They really do have an adversarial relationship with the students and I don’t like it at all.

          17. This is how it was in my physics undergrad, except the problem solving portion was in addition to lecture and lab. Just do it all kids!

          18. The other thing to do is go to whole hog and do a flipped classroom. All lectures are only online, and classroom time is 100% spent on working on problems.

            That only works if the students actually read/watch the lectures, so I wouldn’t trust undergraduates to do that.

          19. 21. But I’m currently a teaching licensure candidate who does none of the readings for my classes even though I definitely know better.

          20. The great thing is that my teachers are teachers of teachers, so they totally get it. And in this year 2017 where we live in an apocalyptic nightmare ruled by President Fucking Moron, they’re actually pushing us to focus more on self-care than on our work. They’re all awesome.

          21. I had one (1) engineering professor who taught solid mechanics the way the good high school math teachers taught, i.e. introduce some concepts, then give us problems to do, walk around the room looking at our work, talk with us about the problems, repeat with the next concept. It was amazing, and we all adored that professor, and we all understood the material really well. In so many of my other math/problem set heavy courses all the students spent lectures producing notes that we did not understand at the time but would try to decipher while we did our problem sets. I got the feeling some professors thought teaching more effectively would have been beneath them.

          22. The best lecture I ever attended in college was in a Biology of Reptiles and Amphibians course. An expert in tuataras came in and was absolutely fascinating. It made me want to learn more on tuataras.

          23. I listen to a shit-ton of podcasts at 1.75x speed. More efficient and you get used to it. When I listen to a podcast at normal speed (or for example listen to This American Life on the radio in my car) everybody sounds super-stoned.

          24. My mom once did this accidentally, thought she was going crazy, and when eventually I found out and explained to her what was going on and she was quite distressed that anyone would do that on purpose.

      2. You are aware that you are proclaiming a hatred of podcasts on a podcast website?

        I’m not trying to mock your opinion, which is fine, but the juxtaposition is kind of humorous.

        1. Yeah, not meant as s diss of this site at all. I’m an AV club refugee. I’m here mainly for the sweet sweet snark, Tony hype posts and the fantasy league.

          1. Look, around here we expect refugees to assimilate into our podcast listening culture. You better get a long commute quick.

          1. I was totally a bard…
            I sucked and died…
            To be fair though, bards could be really cool in campaigns that are more than just linear hack and slashes.

          2. “campaigns that are more than just linear hack and slashes”

            You know what’s not a linear hack and slash? The Adventure Zone. They go whole scenarios where they have like 2 or 3 encounters.

          3. “Brave-brave Sir Garrick, Sir Garrick led the way. Brave-brave Sir Garrick, Sir Garrick ran away”

        1. I have never done anything RPG-related in my life, nor have I ever paid any attention to them in spite of (1) being a nerd and (2) surrounding myself with nerds. So this will be an adventure.

    3. It sounds kind of fun and it’s a podcast I’ve actually heard of, so…maybe? How time-intensive would this be?

      1. We’re going to figure out who else is down and what’s going to work best. We’re not trying to make this homework for anyone because fuck that.

    4. You guys are gonna need to @ me if anything in this thread needs moderating since I’m sure as fuck not gonna read any of it.

    5. I’ve had the first episode downloaded to my phone for months, this would give me a good excuse to finally give it a try.

  25. Sharculese gets into edgic update:

    So r/enlightened edgic broke down after moderators ‘weeddawg’ and ‘spencerequalshitler’ got into a flame war about the methodology of calculating inverted animal spirals. This week I’ve moved on to r/edgicgrams. The deal is that after the episode, you build concentric rings based on Appearance Factors axially adjusted for in-episode potentialities. You place the remaining players on your ring-gram, then in the following weeks build new ring-grams that intersect the previous ones until patterns start to emerge.

    Preliminary analysis of tonight’s episode indicate that Ryan is getting an Quartz Serpent Twelfth Boot edit, but Chrissy’s alignments she’s going deep, although it’s not clear whether as a Diamond Horse or a Rainbow Crocodile.

    1. Wait, jokes are outside for a minute; is edgic supposed to be data analysis or astrology? Or can it be two things?

          1. Edgicers might be worse. Instead of believing in the ‘mystical’ they believe they are hard core data scientist.

          2. The thing about Edgic is there might be some statistical basis to what they do, the problem is that you’d need like a 500 season sample size to find that statistical basis because there is just so much noise that they are going though

          3. My bigger problem with edgic than the ridiculousness is that it’s fundamentally indistinguishable from being the person who insists on trying to guess the twist to the movie before it happens, no matter how much everyone else in the group asks you to stop.

          4. Being able to guess what’s going to happen based on the edit is the one aspect of becoming a huge Survivor nerd that makes the show less fun for me.

          5. In all seriousness, it depends on the type of ‘serious’ astrologer you’re talking about. Some are perfectly fine accepting mystical explanations. Others try to co-opt science to come up with far-fetched explanations for the amazing predictive power of astrology. The latter only function by completely ignoring all scientific rigor, but they convince themselves they are really doing objective data analysis.

          6. From the Wikipedia article about “number theory”: “It is sometimes called ‘The Queen of Mathematics…'”

            Okay but it stole MY nickname so turnabout is fair play lbr

          7. I bet Wikipedia’s spouting that white-washed Pythagorean bullshit is the dawn of arithmetic.

          8. YES it was a stone tablet of Pythagorean triples that they concluded was not found by “brute force.” But let’s talk about brute force from some Pythagorean triplets I found on Craigslist HOOOOOOOOOO *explosion* *thworp* *gangster hat move* “COMBO”

          9. Apparently it’s UHNhhh but a half hour and with other guests, so I have no clue how that’s supposed to make it better. And since they’re not putting out new UHNhhhs while it airs and I refuse to learn how to watch things on Viceland, I just won’t get my fix.

          10. Considering their previous guests were Willam (doesn’t interact with others) and Courtney (unfunny), now I’m even more worried. Why mess with what works? Oh, Hollywood.

          11. Viceland is way more awesome than it has any right to be though. Yes, it’s like 25% shows about weed, but they’ve also done a lot of documentary programming that probably couldn’t find a home anywhere else.

            Plus Jungletown is like the greatest hatewatch ever.

          12. Plimpton 322. It’s no Martha Plimpton, but it’ll do.

            To be honest, I don’t actually know anything about hardcore math, I’m learning all of this on the fly. I somehow muddled through pre-calc, but once I hit AP Calc, I was out.

          13. There’s a lot of cool math out there, but it never gets taught outside of universities bc it’s commonly not in the standards. Which isn’t great

          14. If I could give you youngsters advice, I would say…try a little bit. Like, don’t go nuts — this is America, after all — but pushing, like, 3% beyond your normal capacity will reap so many benefits that it’s unbelievable.

            I speak from doing this, finally and already semi-successfully, at the ancient age of [redacted], and if it’s not too late for me, given that I wake up every morning as a desiccated husk of a man, you guys can take over the world.

          15. Oh I was mostly talking about math (was good at it until it was more than memorization), but thank you for the pep talk.

          16. Agreed. I just ran across a lot of my grad school course books while cleaning and packing to move and looking at the stuff I realized how useless all of it was. I remember so little and I got my grad degree less than five years ago.

          17. I’m trying to instill in my kids the concept that they should actually try. It just feels so hypocritical. Like one day they’re going to grow up, and in their off time from crushing the proletariat, they’re going to look back at my history and say, “Who the fuck was this guy to tell us that effort is important?”

          18. Doesn’t that seem so alien, given that we came from the heart of the slacker-as-paragon heart of Gen X? (Suck it, Probst.) But it’s the right move. It really doesn’t take MUCH effort to achieve in America, but it takes more than none, which was my fatal flaw.

            And the second step is identifying what you really want to put your effort into, and putting it there. When I did work hard, I did it at something I hated, for…reasons. That was another mistake.

          19. Honey, every mathematician is the queen of mathematics bc math is gay af. I mean, honey, oh honey. Triangles, honey? Third leg honey? Know who had a third leg honey? God, I’m joking, I wish honey, he was like Zeno honey, we kept getting closer but never arrived, you know what I mean honey.

          20. Fun fact: When you add together the letters of ‘DrVanNostrand’ in base something or other, it comes to ‘666cock’. Which is interesting because I am, in fact, the devil, and will fuck the world to death when the time is right.

    2. I attempted this but I just ended up with the fourth flavor of neutrino. I’ll try again in the morning.

  26. Was that the first on-screen utterance of the phrase “aqua dump” or am I forgetting? I feel like the concept came up with Darnell in Koah Rong, but not the exact words.

  27. Low key event from he episode: the person that they said was going home after the challenge leading into commercial was the actual person who went home.

    1. Giant shining spotlight from the episode: having Simone complain about no air conditioning and not playing it as the obvious joke that it was.

      1. Also having someone during the challenge call her out for standing around and doing nothing

  28. Did anyone else notice the honky-tonk music opening when JP gave a confessional? I didn’t even realize he had a strong accent until this episode.

    1. The only thing I remember about JP from this episode is that apparently everyone thinks he’s a simpleton. Which is hilarious. Because he’s basically Jon Misch.

          1. Jon was at least aggressively boring. Like his relationship was boring and his hobbies were boring. But what does JP do for fun? We don’t know anything about him on a personal level and I doubt we’re ever going to.

          2. We’ll have to wait and see. I’m sure if JP lasts long enough, we’ll learn all about how he wants to run Michigan’s finest winery, or Tennessee’s premiere sushi restaurant, or whatever the fuck insane thing he wants to do.

          3. I don’t understand why they cast people like him. I’m sure they can find buff people who are at least SLIGHTLY interesting.

          4. I feel like maybe they’re trying for a James from China “gentle giant” type thing. Where oh he’s so buff and amazing but he’s soft-spoken and humble, or something.

            I also feel like I need to clarify that I think James is an asshole, just so we’re clear!

          5. Ughhh him and Jon-Robert talking about Courtney in the water in China and his treatment of Chet in fans vs favourites made me heavily dislike him.

          6. Huh. If you mean this:

            then James didn’t actually say anything negative about Courtney. He responds to Jean-Robert’s gross comment about her (something like “You know you want a million dollars and some ass”) with “I want a million dollars and a sandwich”.

            And I don’t remember him treating Chet in any way whatsoever. In fact they were never on a tribe together! Even after the swap they were on different tribes. It was Joel Anderson who mistreated Chet.

          7. Wow! I’ve totally thought it was Chet and James during that challenge for years! To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched FvF and I don’t remember Joel being a person AT ALL.

            It’s possible I’ve just been thinking of James from HvV and allowing that along with his closeness to Jean-Robert to mar my memory of him from his first two seasons. I know later the girls discuss sleeping arrangements and how disgusting JR was when they get the bath reward, but I don’t recall if it was just him with James only being mentioned in the episode since they were aligned or not although it’s possible that in that sense in my mind it became JR+James vs. Todd+Courtney+Amanda not only in terms of alliances but also actions.

            I mean I do remember liking James initially. I’m probably just off on when that changed. Especially since I was 100% certain he was the one dragging Chet around.

          8. I thought that might be the case because James in HvV is often a really unbearable asshole. He acts roided out with his multiple bursts of rage, talks down to Stephenie repeatedly, lectures the rest of his tribe, and his treatment of Randy after a challenge was a pathetic low. He was a completely different person and a big part of why it was so much fun to watch the so-called Heroes go down, down, down.

            I can see why that terrible behavior could cast such a shadow over his character that people start mis-remembering how he was in his prior seasons. Which is a shame. James in Micronesia is often delightful and even takes the Black Widow alliance well (although he gets annoyingly lecture-y at final tribal – but even that speech is so garbled it’s amusing). And I think the James in China is one of the most delightful players to ever appear on any Survivor season. So funny, unusual, and such a good sport. That incarnation is one of my absolute favorite characters. If you re-watch, you may particularly enjoy the various times he mocks Jean-Robert.

          1. JP’s not a Tyler. He’s got the confidence of the dumb, and that means he’ll never be a desperate try-hard like Tyler.

          2. This was more a joke about JP being so devoid of personality that Jon looks charismatic by comparison but okay.

        1. He is how we remember Jon Misch. Jon wasn’t terribly interesting, but he was way more interesting than JP and things like that.

    2. No, but I did notice the didgeridoo when Patrick did his (terrible) Australian accent.

  29. I really, really wish Cole had just shut up, let knockoff Tony think the idol was the raft or whatever and gone off and found that idol on his own. Cole with an idol would have been unstoppable.

    I was also worried for all of us at the start when Chrissy was talking about her non-idol play for what felt like 5 minutes. I thought it meant it would come back and bite her

    1. Yes! Maybe he was trying to solidify an ally, but I think it was more likely he spit that out without thinking…

  30. I’m struggling to come up with much to say about this episode, though I do think this season is slightly exceeding my expectations so far. Pretty much all of the players I came into the season excited about are likable and playing well so far, and no one is truly objectionable.
    Also (and I merely offer this as an observation with no malice in my heart whatsoever) when Lauren was sitting around the fire with her cap on, I thought she was the spitting image of Judd Sargeant.

  31. “8:51 Lauren: ‘If you mean all say all, if you mean moose say moose'”

    A moose once bit my sister.

    1. I have a friend from Saskatchewan whose brother fought off a charging moose by hiding behind a wheel barrow and whacking it in the head with a shovel. His family made him a shirt that said: “Me: 1, (picture of moose head): 0”

    2. No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”

  32. Well, who didn’t see that coming. I don’t get where the Patrick is untrustworthy narrative came from. It looked more like he was trying to be funny, but wound up being annoying (although Lauren seemed to be only person really annoyed by him). I wonder why Ali would want to keep the person who seemed to really trust her instead of risking future tribals to appease the next lowest person on the totem pole?

    1. My gut feeling from the way she was talking was that she had a really good relationship with Patrick, but it was more of an equal relationship. As George Costanza might say, she had ‘hand’ in the relationship with Simone.

      1. Yeah, but I think Simone is less useful to the tribe and more likely to bolt if things go bad. Plus, keeping her doesn’t really benefit Ryan or Devin.

        Honestly, Patrick could be the ideal goat for Ali. He’s loyal, will probably follow voting instructions and will likely annoy the voters enough to vote against him.

        1. Good point and also I hope this happens because I have Ali on my Pick 4 and Patrick on my Outcast Team 😀

    2. Apparently Ali and Patrick went to college together. Not sure how well they knew each other, but they were at a minimum aware of each others existence. That might have been a factor.

      1. They were friends of friends, and Patrick helped Ali move.

        Ali recognized Patrick in the pre-season. No word on whether Patrick recognized her.

  33. Well, that was dull. Semone just wasn’t prepared to play any game of Survivor post-Season 1.

    I do appreciate the extra insights we got into what “Hustler” means. Based on Jeff’s last comments, I believe it means a member of Chumbawumba, who, as we all know “get knocked down, and then get up again”.

    Apologies to anyone below who has already made this joke.

    1. As if she wasn’t the most obvious first boot on her tribe already, she had to go and make TWO comments about her so-called “narrative” … just stop already, Simone.

      Although it was worth having her on this season if only because it gave us a scene where Ryan of all people called her weird. Ryan! I had to laugh.

      1. But she’s so meta1!!!1!!! How cool! I heard way too much out of Simone, Patrick and Ryan in this episode.

        Is Ryan even that weird though or is he just trying super hard to be weird because production gave him a turtleneck and because he has never had a girlfriend. Oh, and how could I forget the nonsensical analogies! Lol! What a quirky guy.

        1. He accents his natural quirkiness with… more quirkiness! I’m still in the do I like him or do I not like him stage with Ryan.

          I hope you come around to Patrick. I thought he was a ray of light in an otherwise sorta dull episode. Although the Chrissy parts were good too. So that’s two characters I’m appreciating at least. Ok I will throw in Ali and Ben for good measure.

          I wonder if you’re already over Patrick due to seeing so much of Luke in Australian Survivor. Goofy Dude overload?

          1. I suppose that’s fair, it’s obvious both he and the editors are playing it up a lot though but that’s normal for reality tv so I should probably just calm down for a second.

            I’d like to but I really don’t think I will. Maybe I was just in a highly cynical mood when I was watching this week though. I’ll try to give Patrick more of a chance next time.

            Yeah, that’s quite possible. I had a bit of a love/hate reaction towards Luke but overall I’d say I liked him more than I disliked him. So maybe I’ll have the same reaction towards Patrick. I do think there was probably slightly too much time spent on Luke so you’re right – it’s probably having an impact. These guys are exhausting!

            I think my overall pretty negative opinion of the season so far could have a lot to do with Aus Survivor though. I’m usually pumped for Survivor coming around every 6 months but watching 2-3 high quality eps of Aus Survivor each week this feels like a bit of an afterthought that I’m not really engaging with much.

            Also I have to finish my recap! Lol oops. Sorry team. Getting back on that now.

          2. This season of Aus Survivor has been so high quality. Definitely in the top half of Survivor seasons for me.

    2. Yes, the outcome and tribal itself was predictable but from story point of view we got a lot of good stuff IMO.

  34. I’m surprised the editors didn’t make Lauren the decoy boot instead of Patrick. They’d already established that she was a loner and the oldest woman. Her name had to have come up more than once. The only reason that I’d believe it was Patrick is the supposed pattern of surprising or crazy second boots.

    1. Maybe they just used it as an opportunity to give him some exposure/develop his character a bit more because they think he’s more interesting than someone like Lauren. Personally I can’t stand him, feels like he’s trying way too hard. Feels like a lot of people are trying way too hard – see: Ryan’s birthday party analogy.

      1. Yeah, I have an instinct to rise to Ryan’s defense on the analogy, because it was a first draft, From a certain perspective there’s the roots of a real feeling there: it’s an organized get-together, a big deal (TV with Jeff)–but no, I am only gonna waste enough time on this to announce here that it’s not worth wasting my time on. That’s the problem with creativity, with thinking. Not always appopriate.

        1. Yeah, Lauren’s answer was much more apt because she didn’t feel the need to put some kind of quirky/unique spin on it. It was definitely half an idea which he decided to persevere with anyway so he’d still get the laughs and precious screen time. I guess I’m a cynic.

        2. I liked Ryan’s analogy, mostly because I took it as Probst being the kid who nobody wanted to go to his birthday party and that made me laugh

  35. Hey, can you all do my a favour?

    I’m struggling to put together a breakdown about what to talk about for an hour(ish) long podcast. So if you could start writing some outlandish shit like “they should’ve voted out Patrick” or “Chrissy is so obviously in a better position now, trying to piece together a majority of three than she would have been if Katrina were still around”, that would really help me find something to yell at Matt about.

    1. I know your phrasing is trolling but you REALLY still think she made a bad call? Do you need to watch the idol strip search scene again? Of course she knows that her tribe is a fracturing mess!

      1. I thought Andy already conceded defeat when he didn’t list Chrissy as the second boot from the Heroes tribe in the predictions. (Neither did anyone else from the PRP staff and only 3% of the listeners/readers – surely he knows that it wasn’t his most convincing rant, and why it fell on deaf ears…)

        1. No, I’m just imaginative enough to think of a move being wrong and yet still not leading to someone’s IMMEDIATE ouster.

          1. Yeah, I think most people can make that leap, but is it still relevant then?

            Even if there was a Mom-alliance going on that she would have deemed worthy to preserve, I have to imagine that, more often than not, a majority-alliance that gets blindsided with the help of an idol by a minority would see that as enough reason to table any in-fighting that may have occurred, and target that minority again. Same reasons still exist, but now with the added joy of dishing out retribution for the blindside.
            So it would have been unjustifiably optimistic for her to expect anything more from that idol play than surviving one more tribal (by keeping the original target around, although it would still have required some skill of her not to become the Mom Squad’s Most Wanted for the idol play), which you (and everyone) granted her even before this second episode with that prediction.
            Not playing it also put her in a good non-threatening position to put out her feelers to and build relationships with the remaining tribemates, as we could witness this week. That would have been harder if all everyone could think, when she would have approached them after an idol play, is “She’s talking to me because they need a third vote”.
            So if you’re really still fighting this battle after seeing the aftermath play out, I’m going to need to need some more shouting, because at this point I honestly don’t know why and how you would expect her to be in a better position had she played the idol.

            More topics (not sure when you’re recording): The healers have been very successful, but will this be their downfall? Will they be targeted at swaps (and after the merge, if this continues)? I could see the remnants of the other two tribes rule the post merge .

            Outrageous opinion: They should aim for 2nd in the coming challenges.

            We got a lot from Ryan and Ali in these first two episodes.
            Outrageous opinion: After working well together on this vote, they will eventually identify each other as biggest threats in the game and clash. One of them goes pre-merge, the other is the merge-boot.
            Devon will inherit Ryan’s edit and go on to win

            Apropos edits: Roark is (still?) an Edgic darling because she got the first confessional of her tribe at the campsite. I thought you would like that. They are however worried, that we haven’t been told what her job is and what she’s all about, so to say. I have listened to a lot of Wigler’s preseason coverage, read bios, watched videos but I don’t know more than the average viewer on that. So far, I find everything about her very forgettable, which of course could play to her advantage and probably means that she wins.

    2. The sweet taste of Andy being proved wrong this episode…

      The only thing I could suggest would be talking about how these first episodes are some of the most underwhelming opening episodes of the series. That sounds like a sad (and short) podcast. But I’m confident you guys could make it funny!

        1. If you are going to focus on the first episode again, you should do a compare & contrast with other underwhelming premieres. Which is the worst? Does this season actually have the all-time worst opening episode?

          Then you’ll have to find something else to talk about for the remaining 55 minutes.

          1. Gonna breeze right past this Alan hate and say that I do think the premiere would have been good if they had more time. This episode was really fun outside of an uninteresting conclusion.

          2. I think people were grading the premiere too harshly. They had to cram introductions, two challenges, a new idol, and a tribal council into 42 minutes of screen time. Of course it felt rushed!

          3. For me it was less about being rushed and more about having to watch the Alan scene and the Joe scene. (And being rushed means less time for players to play up their characters to the camera due to first episode, and less time for Probst to try to hit the theme as hard as he can.)

            After an excruciating Big Brother scene, I’m just over assholes getting up in people’s faces for no good reason other than “being an asshole is my so-called strategy because it makes them uncomfortable”

          4. I had her picked as my first boot. My guess was that Chris, Bret and Paul would align as the older men they would join forces with the Moms (Sunday, Lucy, and Cece). The men would butt heads with the younger Ken, but keep him for challenge strength. Jessica would be a loosely connected member of that starting alliance. David would be on an island to himself, but would probably have one of the women vouch for him. Rachel would be in the minority and would be the easy target. I was wrong on Cece, but got the rest of it pretty close.

          5. The issue of answering “has there ever been a more forgettable start to a season” is that if we can remember a comp, then it can’t be the answer. But this might be a discussion worth having.

          6. Yeah Panama was okay. I think it just popped into my head because I consider it to be the most generic season of the show.

          7. Panama’s isn’t bad. Tina is a memorable first boot with her content about her son’s death, and we get to see Cirie work her magic.

          8. I actually just started watching Panama this week (never seen it before) and I can agree, first episode is pretty good. I’m halfway through ep. 2 and I’m disappointed that the four tribe format lasted for just 3 days…

          9. I can’t remember a comp from Panama’s first episode but it had Cirie and leaves! Definitely not a contender for a forgettable first episode.

    3. -Joe/Cole idol find. Should Joe have involved Cole? Should Cole have pretended he didn’t know what the clue meant and got the idol himself? How much trouble is Joe potentially since Cole knows he has the idol?

      -Why not Lauren? (not too much to go on here I know) What are we missing? Older woman and seems to be an outsider but wasn’t targeted? Should she have been targeted?

      -Did Patrick survive because he and Ali went to College together? Or was it something else?

      -Still think Chrissy made the wrong move? Thoughts on Chrissy/Hero tribe? (Pretty much all the Hero tribe stuff was around Chrissy) How is an actuary a hero? Are people in accounting heroes too?

      -Why do people care about Roark? She’s almost non-existent.

      -Is there actually a person called Desi on this season? Supposedly she brings diversity to the cast and even the comments here don’t seem to remember that. To be fair I have yet to see proof she exists.

      1. I think Lauren might just be useful around camp. She seemed to take control of shelter building and can fish. That probably bought her this week. She’s toast at the next tribal though.

      2. I liked Roark’s preseason stuff and am kinda bummed that we’re not going to get what I hoped we would from her. I think that’s what’s going on with most people who care about Roark.

        (She compared herself to Sophie and Courtney, seemed like a smart oddball type who could possibly give good confessionals and play well.)

    4. I think its very clear that Patrick and Simone should have banded together, brought in Lauren and Ali, and blindsided Devon. Strength isn’t important at this stage in the game, gotta get the physical threats out

    5. So how do you think Cole and Jessica will last as a relationship? And how dumb are the Healers tribe if they don’t get rid of them? And who is in control of Heroes right now? And was that a fun challenge using Survivor previous locations as an element?

    6. Was there any legitimate reason to vote out Patrick (for Ryan, Devon & Ali) and were the three of them ever seriously considering it. Ali’s phrasing to Ryan was “Lauren suggested Patrick”, meaning Lauren was the one that wanted him gone.

      Also, do you think there is any chance whatsoever that Lauren survives the war she starts between herself and Patrick in next weeks preview (provided they go to Tribal Council again)?

      1. For Ryan and Devon? No. But if I’m a woman on Survivor, my preference is to NOT be in a majority male alliance voting out women for being weak. I think Ali was totally right that Semone was a much more promising pawn for HER than Patrick was.

        But it absolutely wasn’t worth sticking out her neck if Ryan wasn’t biting on the initial anti-Patrick bait HARD.

        1. Ali would maybe consider it, but I think the fact that she has some knowledge of Patrick helps justify keeping him. I don’t think Ryan or Devon ever considered voting him out and it 100% was not worth forcing a tie to potentially get rid of Patrick, who Ali has reason to trust. Simone was a lot more likely to bolt later if things go poorly.

    7. Will Andy eat the slightest bit of crow for Chrissy having slightly more of a plan for the idol than he thought she did?

    8. Since Joe brought it up, three tribe divisions that aren’t some riff on Brains, Beauty, Brawn?

      1. In Patrick’s pregame press he told Josh that even though he’s from Alabama he’s not into country, he’s into rap and hip hop. Who did he name as his favorite artists? Drake and Justin Bieber.

    1. I think she got a good premiere confessional. It’s only been two episodes, she could even get a Kaoh Rong Aubry edit at this point.

      1. Invisible though. I want to believe because I’m rooting for her. But not a single confessional nor much if any focus during challenges?

          1. I can’t wait to see her at the FTC where she discusses at great length how she came to accept that she is a thin person.

    2. Healers haven’t gone to tribal (and might not) so they’re on the back burner except for the idol stuff. If they go to tribal at all I think it’s Mike or a blindside of Dollar Store Tony. Roark probably emerges after the swap.

          1. By the strict definition of playing an idol correctly, maybe not, but I’d say he used the super-idol even better than correctly.

          1. Eh, it’s the part of me that wants unpredictable stuff to happen. Cole going home early would be shocking and good for all of my fantasy teams. I think Joe is more likely to be targeted though.

          2. Yeah that’s true. I don’t really have an opinion on Cole vs. Joe though. I will likely wind up feeling like Tom Servo in the Boggy Creek 2 episode, where he spent a good amount of time hoping the women started mud wresting and when they finally did it said “Is this really what I wanted?”

  36. VERY IMPORTANT:

    Is it just me, or is Patrick extremely attractive? I can’t be the only one, but nobody’s mentioned it yet.

    1. I’m going to do a Hot Guys Ranking in the podcast thread. I have to sleep with on it.

      The spoiler is that Patrick is going to rank much higher than most people would probably agree with.

          1. A near-constant triumph over the social discomfort of awkward eccentricity or something. He’s not losing, exactly, but “needs help”. There must be some Harlequin Romance archetype for this, the approachable goofball who has somehow gotten some things done, who has potential and could possibly be harnessed?! A bit of a project.

          1. Like everything else, it’s too soon to tell, but it does seem like Desi was a head fake, distracting us from the real deal.

      1. He’s higher on my list than I thought he’d be. Ben > Patrick > JP > Cole > Ryan > Devon > Alan > Joe > Mike.

        I realize my tastes are not the same as other people’s.

      2. My rankings (which now include personality):
        Ben, Cole, Alan, Patrick, Mike, Ryan, Devon, JP, Joe

        Without personality:
        Alan, Patrick, Cole, JP, Ben, Joe, Devon, Mike, Ryan

      3. Cool, I started a thing. So I guess I’ll do it here in the harsh light of day. Parentheses denote my initial impressions after Episode 1. Unlisted players denote me being very shallow.

        REMINDER: I’m basic.

        1. JP (2)
        2. Patrick (1)
        3. Cole (4)
        4. Devon (3)
        5. Alan (5)

      4. Since we’re doing this now:

        Cole (that smile is just incredible) > JP > Devon > Patrick > Alan >> Ryan > Ben >> Joe > Mike