Survivor Jury Jeopardy – Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers

Andy makes the official PRP predictions in this season’s edition of Survivor Jury Jeopardy, battling other websites that probably took this more seriously than we did.

Alright, so here’s what happened: Redmond graciously asked John if we wanted to participate in this year’s Jury Jeopardy. We discussed it as a staff and non-committally said we should probably do it, with Emma making a joke about how it should be her as the unofficial brand ambassador of the site, and me saying it should be John (who Redmond asked) or her.

Then none of us did it. I think on Sunday we realized that no one had done it and then we shrugged, blew it off, and went about our day. As long as this isn’t your first time visiting our site (and it might be! Welcome!), none of this will surprise you.

But someone failed to tell Jeff Pitman that we blew it off, so he mentioned that we were involved. Which shocked me, because I was all “whoa! John did work!” Then I clicked on his link to see that it was just his site’s contribution (because I had forgotten how this feature worked) and he hadn’t realized that we didn’t end up participating. Okay, cool. He just didn’t get the memo. Time for me to finish reading my morning internet stuff and go take a nap (Stay-at-Home Dadding is awesome when the kids aren’t around). But then, I read the True Dork Times contribution.

They had Chrissy winning the most jury votes. THEY. HAD. CHRISSY. WINNING.

Literally me. Right now.
(My bed is playing the other role in this graphic)

I took to Slack and told the rest of the staff that they could participate or not, but I’m writing something. They also got fired up, started to do some rankings, then promptly gave up on them (SO ON BRAND!). We told Redmond we’d have something in an hour or so. THE TAKES MUST LIVE.

Oh yeah, and before I get to that, shout out to the other sites competing: Inside Survivor, RHAP, True Dork Times, and A Tribe of One. We don’t care which of you beats us (because we are awful at predictions), as long as it isn’t Pitman and his crew.

Also note: I’m taking the Inside Survivor tactic of only making three choices per juror (and 2 per potential juror) since that’s the minimum required to make a prediction. And we are very, very big on just fulfilling our minimum requirements around here.

The Rules

For each Juror (and each potential Juror), each website will rank the Final Five by the likelihood of receiving their Jury vote.

Each blogger will score one point for each correct guess, for a possible high score of eight points. A correct guess is determined by the Juror giving their vote to the highest ranking castaway in the Final Three. Once the votes are read, the decision is final, and the person with the most points will be declared the winner of Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers Jury Jeopardy.

The Current Jury

Desi

Time to get into the mind of one of the two complete blank slates of the season. We can pretend to understand what Desi’s motivations are for anything, just like we pretended that she possibly had some entertainment value in her that the editors cruelly kept hidden from us. That was fun.

My guess is that Desi goes with whatever the prevailing opinions are of the majority of the jury, just like how she went with whatever the opinions of the more seasoned Survivor fans she played the game with (first Roark, then Joe). The one thing I can confidently say is that she did not cast a vote for Chrissy, then head home and cut a diss track on her winner pick in exit interviews. She was on a tribe with Mike to start with, so that could help him, but I have no idea if she liked him or not. She was also on a tribe with Devon. And to be on a tribe with Devon is to love him (unless you’re Chrissy and thus wait until the final week of the season to even talk to him).

Devon > Mike > Ben

Cole

The nice thing about the first three jurors is that you can bet pretty safely that none of them have given a particular amount of thought to the awesome responsibility they face with this vote. I mean, they may have thought about it, but it easily falls lower on their list of priorities than working out, that day’s meal, and coordinating their jury outfits. So I wouldn’t rule out them outsourcing their vote to Joe. But mostly, I’m comfortable simply asking the question “who do they like better?” and leaving it at that (note: this is also true of most voters ever).

Cole was on tribes with both Ben and Mike, so you’d think they’d have the best shot at being most liked by him. Until you realize that they both betrayed him. Ben the most, in that he also betrayed Jessica. But Mike also voted for Cole the day he played his idol. Meanwhile, I don’t think we ever got a scene of he and Devon broing out, but it’s also not impossible to imagine that happened. Or if it hadn’t, that they could say the right combo of bro code at tribal to tip the scales.

Devon > Mike > Ben

JP

On this week’s podcast, I made the bold claim that if Chrissy were to get a single jury vote, I’d retire from the podcast. I will admit right now that I said that forgetting that JP was a person that existed (on this show or in life). So, comment below if you think I should retire from the podcast should this anonymous slab of beef ruin this for me, just do so realizing that at this point in this season, I can take or leave Survivor as a hobby. That said, I still wouldn’t put JP as a lock for Chrissy. He could easily just vote the way everyone else is on the jury, as he’s now hung out with them as much as he did she (give or take, don’t expect me to do math).

Also, important question: do we think that JP ever found out that Ben was involved in his ouster? And by “ever”, I’ll still include after the episode aired.

Chrissy > Ben > Ryan

Joe

Joe feuded with basically everyone left in the game (and not), but also seems most likely to cast his vote based on gameplay. Because it is very important to Joe for us to realize that this was all a game for him. Hard to do that if you cast a personally motivated jury vote. Not that other former jurors haven’t tried to thread that needle in that past.

Ultimately, the hill Joe died on is that if Ben gets to the end, he will win. I believe that he’ll try to ensure that proclamation will remain true now that he’s on the jury because it will mean that Joe was right all along and truly had his finger on the pulse. Plus, the strengths of Ben’s game are very Joe-like (flashily disrupting people’s plans with idol moves at tribal), while his weaknesses are even more Joe-like (had a knack for getting into heated arguments with people). So Joe won’t see those as flaws. Joe isn’t the type to think “that guy didn’t get along with me” as a personality flaw.

Ben > Mike > Devon

Lauren

Lauren is a no-nonsense gameplayer who mildly hated everyone. Except Devon. He’s a bright, beautiful light. While it’s tempting to think that the Great Lauren Rimmer will recognize game and reward the guy who vanquished her, I think she’ll see everything Ben did as a personal betrayal of her, especially since she won’t know why he did it (she doesn’t know that he overheard her plotting against him. In her mind, he just betrayed every confidence she had entrusted in him for no reason). So she should be pretty bitter. I mean, not bitter enough to cast a vote for Chrissy or Ryan, mind you, but still… bitter.

Devon > Mike > Ben

Ashley

Anyone thinking that Devon lost her vote needs to watch her Ponderosa video (so I hear. I mean, I certainly haven’t watched it). Ashley voting for Devon should the opportunity present itself is the biggest lock there is. The tougher call is her choice if the opportunity doesn’t. At that point, I think she’ll go with the games she most respects: Ben, then Chrissy’s if we get the worst final three since Gabon.

Devon > Ben > Chrissy

The Potential Jurors

For this group, I’ll pick their top two choices (since they themselves will be one of the jurors in this hypothetical, thereby making two the highest number I need to pick to ensure that I’ve identified someone who will be in the final three). The tough part is that I have to do this without knowing HOW they were put on the jury, which tends to matter even more to the last people eliminated than even that of earlier jurors (in part because blame can’t be diffused as much. For instance, who would have thought Cydney wouldn’t vote for Aubry?)

Ben

Ben’s playing an aggressive game that is equal parts big moves and personal vindictiveness. So you have to decide who he’ll think was his top competition that he didn’t also hate. Note: even before I realized that True Dork Times had more Chrissy votes than anyone, I was motivated by the fact that they had Ben voting for Chrissy. Ben. Voting for Chrissy. Ben “STOP MOTHERING ME CHRISSY” Driebergen voting for Chrissy “HOW DARE YOU BE EXCITED ABOUT PLAYING AN IDOL” Hofbeck.  I mean… they probably weren’t trying to draw me out because most of them have no idea who I am, but… really? REALLY?

You really think that after a final tribal conversation (not question mind you, not a statement, but CONVERSATION), volatile Ben would leave it wanting to vote for Chrissy? REALLY?

You think Ben is going to forget the moment Chrissy, without a moment’s hesitation, GLEEFULLY did not choose Ben’s wife to share the family reward and vote for her to win a game that means she beat him? Really?

You really think that Ben is going to respect the game of the woman he completely fooled for a good week when he knows damn well that any ounce of power she held in this game post-merge was only because he allowed her to. REALLY?

I… I just can’t guys. I can’t.

Devon > Mike

Chrissy

This is a purely academic exercise because there’s no way she’s not sitting in front of the jury, so let’s not waste time trying to figure out Chrissy’s hierarchy of petty.

Ryan > Whomever she thinks can keep Ben from winning (let’s say Devon)

Devon

Mostly what we know about Devon is that he’s a chill bro with some game who doesn’t like snakes around in the game. Also, all his favourite people are already on the jury. That said, he’s also been saying that if Ben makes it to the end, he wins. So I think that will be his guiding force with this decision.

(And no, that wasn’t a Kylo Ren pun).

Ben > Ryan

Mike

So whatever else you want to say about Mike (seriously, I’m game for anything), he at least seems like a good guy having a good time. I expect no bitterness to his vote, especially since his elimination should either be unanimous or a result of a Ben idol play. That said, I don’t see him going out of his way to vote for the two people who have most tried to keep him from playing the game (until they needed him that is). Plus, Ben has played him for a fool two or three times so far. He might not be angry about that, but he might not be excited by it either.

Devon > Ben

Ryan

Ryan is a student of the game, and thus will vote for who thinks has played the best game. The person he thinks will have played the best game will be the person whose game most aligns with his, which he thinks was the best game. Ergo, that person will not necessarily have had to actually play a good game.

Chrissy > Ben

There you have it. I’ll leave it up to someone else to tally this up to see how this aligns with predictions because frankly, I don’t know how that would work given that I don’t believe the two people I have ranked highest for most jurors will face each other. Too complicated for me, so summary: Ben or Devon, never Chrissy.

In Case of a Tie

Whoops, I guess I was supposed to do this. In case of a tie, the final jury vote will be 7-1-0. For either Ben or Devon.

Andy
Follow me

Andy

Co-host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast and the Canadian of the group, Andy has been watching Survivor continuously since the very beginning and likes to treat that as some kind of virtue to lord over others.

Favourite seasons: Heroes vs Villains, Cook Islands, Palau, The Amazon, Cagayan
Favourite players: Boston Rob, Kim Spradlin, Tony Vlachos, Cirie Fields, Yul Kwon, Rob Cesternino
Andy
Follow me
  • Purplerockmatt

    I want to strike back against Andy’s extreme act of defamation as to yours truly. I said we should do this, and I said “I bet some of these sites will have Chrissy winning” and yet somehow I get lumped in with the rest of the lazy staff. And then upon realizing that Andy had started writing I egged him on and fueled his anger! I am the real hero here!

    • Purple Rock Emma

      And I assumed John was doing it because no one asked me to. By Sunday it was too late to commit to this much work. John is the real villain here.

      • Alkanarra

        The important thing is that you all turned on each other with the smallest amount of provocation possible.

        • Purplerockmatt

          … and Andy! That shite bastard could barely be talked into writing a massive post just to clown people. I mean that is his entire point! And don’t get me started on Emma or John!

          • The big takeaway I am getting is that Mark is the best one of the bunch.

          • Purplerockmatt

            Oh you don’t even want to know what Mark was doing. I mean this is a family website

          • Taako From Teevhii

            It is?

          • THIS

          • Purplerockmatt

            I mean not one of those happy families

          • Purple Rock Emma

            There are happy families?

          • Purplerockmatt

            I have read Anna Karenina so I assume, based upon the opening line, that they exist.

            Oh also I’ll save you some time

            NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD

          • Purple Rock Emma

            I was reading Anna Karenina over my lunch breaks, but then I started working from home and now I can watch TV during lunch so I never finished it.

          • Purplerockmatt

            I mean it is a very long book

          • Purple Rock Emma

            And so boring!

          • This isn’t the time to mention that I read in high school and liked it, right?

          • purplerockandy

            I wouldn’t worry about that knowledge shifting our opinion of you.

          • I mean, I’m still your favorite obviously.

          • purplerockandy

            I love all my children equally.

          • You are not old enough to be my father, even in the Internet sense.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            The only person that has me as their favorite is Saturday Night Palsy.

          • Hey, you get a shout-out in our Slack sign-in. You should be lording that over the comment peasantry.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            That is true. And it is awesome!

          • You are my favorite co-villain of the PRP commenters.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I am honored and humbled by your comment. It is a pleasure to be your co-villain.

          • StormofCuteness

            *tentatively raises her hand*
            Me too, Barbara, me too.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            Also I don’t think reading it in 45 minute chunks is the best strategy.

          • Sylvisual

            Let’s just say I was watching Star Wars.

          • Purplerockmatt

            but seriously, did you read the first comment? I am the best of the bunch. I am the hero dammit. I said so myself

          • Okay, Chrissy.

          • Purple Rock Emma

            It’s clearly Matt. He already said he was the real hero here, weren’t you reading?

          • Because saying it is the only thing that matters, right?

          • Sylvisual

            Yes.

          • Sure. But we’ve set the bar very low for you.

        • Don’t forget about publicity.

        • It’s the one thing we’re really, truly good at.

    • F***ing Stick

      This entire comment thread is cracking me up!

    • DrVanNostrand

      So, your only contribution was trolling Andy?

      Well done, sir.

  • gouis

    “Chrissy’s hierarchy of petty” should win a Nobel Prize for poetry.

  • Taako From Teevhii

    @purplerockandy:disqus Don’t you need to give the final vote breakdown as a tiebreaker? Or is the implication that you’re so confident that you’ll win that the tiebreaker won’t be needed?

    • purplerockandy

      Dude. I read no rules about this. (Wait, I guess I read the one I copied and pasted).

      • Taako From Teevhii

        It very much checks out that your *only* motivation for doing this is correcting people’s opinions and nothing else. It also checks out that y’all didn’t even put in the work to crowdsource this article out to the commentariat when you didn’t want to do it yourselves.

        • It’s not a bunch of us would have volunteered or anything. That’s not our style at all.

          • sharculese

            I mean last time I volunteered to do something I made it clear it was begrudgingly, and then you did it all anyway which was perfect because I totally forgot about it.

            I was as on-brand as possible.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            The fantasy league?

          • sharculese

            No, I came up with that bad idea completely on my own. It’s going to happen next season, and I have better rules, but I’m not fucking rewatching this shitshow.

            Last week when Taako couldn’t do the video post I told him I would do it if absolutely no one else was willing. And then he asked if Barbara and I could do it together and I never responded and forgot it happened until I saw her post.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            The rules clearly stated “if absolutely no one else was willing”. I see no foul here.

          • sharculese

            I have no guilt about it.

          • Assistant Dragon Slayer

            *cough*AU Survivor coverage*cough*

          • sharculese

            I FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT ONE!

        • Purple Rock Emma

          If it was about crowdsourcing the commentariat, most of the other sites wouldn’t have any material.

    • purplerockandy

      Fixed. Good looking out fam.

  • I am confinent to say you will not be in last place for this contest.

  • Mike Hirsch

    This whole Jury Jeopardy idea seems like way too much work. I don’t know how right you’ll be, but you’ll be less wrong than those Chrissy folk.

    • purplerockandy

      Too much work was my initial feeling too. Like, what do I care how each juror feels?

      Not too much work? Putting down any and all Chrissy optimism.

      Worth it.

      • Mike Hirsch

        It’s almost as if the Chrissy fans stopped paying attention to the season after the second episode.

        • purplerockandy

          I think it’s like anything else: battlelines were drawn, they chose they’re side, and everything since is merely an opportunity to prove themselves right or is something other people are just making up.

          Note: I was the same damn way in KR.

          • Other Scott

            No, stand your ground Andy! Screw the Michele truthers! Forever and always!

          • They were so obnoxious. It’s what truly enraged us about them: they were just like us.

          • Diego Armando

            You always hate the people most like yourself.

          • sharculese

            This exchange actually happened during the MvGX finale:

            Me: God, I hope they finally fucking do something about David.

            Other Roommate: Do you hate him because he reminds you too much of yourself?

            Me: Yes!

          • Mike Hirsch

            Looking back on it now, KR had to be spoiled in some capacity, right? Like, there’s no possible way edgicers can be that correct about a thing in such vast numbers.

          • Nah, I think they got this part right: a player as bland as Michele shouldn’t be getting any screentime whatsoever, so the fact that she’s getting key scenes must mean something.

            The problem was a few people trying to suggest she was a good player because EDGIC.

          • Purplerockmatt

            no i think it was spoiled

          • DrVanNostrand

            I suspect, but can’t prove, that that is also the case. I mean, some jackasses were predicting her win when we were still going, “Who? Her? Is there even a Michele on this show?”

          • purplerockandy

            She was a preseason winner pick. Highly suspicious.

          • Two things.

          • DrVanNostrand

            Yeah, about 3/4 of the way through the season it was clear there had to be some explanation for her bizarre amount of boring screen time. I just hoped that explanation was anything other than her winning.

          • purplerockandy

            I believe it was a spoiled season. Not that the edgicers themselves were necessarily spoiled. Keep in mind, this was a season that sat in the can for a year until Cambodia was done airing.

          • golden4815162342

            This is completely right. We’re really just sticking to our guns. They’re good guns though.

          • Mike Hirsch

            Counterpoint: no they aren’t.

  • purplerockandy

    You guys: true story that you’ll never believe. Last night, I was all proud of myself for walking away from an argument about Survivor.

    So that held up well.

    • Purple Rock Emma

      Can confirm.

  • purplerockandy

    Like, even if you deny that several players have expressed antipathy toward Chrissy (which you’re wrong about if you do, but whatever), we have it from a very reliable source that Chrissy has done very little to establish relationships with several jury members. The source? CHRISSY HER GOTDAMMNED SELF.

    So now the hope for her winning is people respecting her strategy. Except A) few jurors ever give a shit about that, and B) she has not had control of this game since before JP left. So… what fucking strategy would be so impressive as to overrule either dislike or at least the lack of warmth from a jury.

    So now what you’re hoping is that the jury ignores both their own personal feelings toward Chrissy and her lack of an impressive resume and instead… votes for a character type that has ALWAYS had trouble winning over juries (the older woman mom). Like… what are we even doing here folks?

  • Super duper fan

    I wasn’t sure before, but now I’ve made up my mind. I want Chrissy to win, just because I want to watch everyone self-implode on this site.

    • Other Scott

      This has happened before – and the last Kaoh Rong podcast was a lot of fun as a result.

      That said I think it’s high time for Andy to get to lord his correctness over the internet and rejoice in a season that’s made him miserable.

      I’m cheering for a Mike win for that reason – not because that result would make Andy feel good, but because
      a) I like Mike
      b) It would make Andy feel particular justified about being so down on this season and calling everyone terrible, that the person who made one of the most non-sensical idol plays in Survivor history went on to win.
      c) It’s VERY possible that Mike wins this season

      • purplerockandy

        If you want to hear me do a victory lap, the Cagayan finale podcast was DISGUSTINGLY over the top.

        • You were also happy that you predicted Natalie winning at the merge.

          • Max_Jets

            Predicted, or wishfully brought into existence?

        • Other Scott

          I’m just saying it’s been a lot of seasons since Cagayan

      • SurvivorWerewolf(JTHelland)

        Here’s my mike can’t win argument.
        Point one. Mike can’t beat ben or Devon.
        Point two. Who would beat ben or Devon at fire making

        • It would have to be Chrissy to beat Ben or Devon at fire-making. Because Ryan is hugely incompetent at challenges. They even harped on it earlier in this season, and focused on his failure in the reward challenge last episode, so Ryan winning a challenge would be a…

          Oh no.

        • Other Scott

          I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike beats Ben or Devon – just because of the jury’s tendency to reward the underdog in any given situation over the best player.

          The Ben or Devon at firemaking thing is a good point, but I wouldn’t sleep on Chrissy who seems to be enough of a Survivor fan and also a control type that I could see her getting pretty good at firemaking.

  • Ms_Woozah

    1) Amazing intro/justification of your laziness. I truly love you guys
    2) Cackling at the JP photo
    3) Thank you for the Kylo Ren/Devon connection. They both have an 8 pack, confirmed.

    A Devon and Ben tie with Devon winning is my ideal scenario for the season. Really though I’m fine with anyone except Mike or Ryan winning this. Chrissy wouldn’t make sense, but I’d admire the editors for sticking to the bitchy edit if she truly does take it all.

  • F***ing Stick

    I literally lol’ed a few times while reading this, so thank you for that entertainment. Also, yeah there is no way that Chrissy is winning this thing.

  • Diego Armando

    My guesses are:

    Desi: Mike, Devon, Ben
    Cole: Mike, Devon, Ben
    JP: Chrissy, Ryan, I guess Devon
    Joe: Ben, Devon, Mike
    Lauren: Devon, Ryan, Ben
    Ashley: Devon, Ben, Mike

    Ben: Mike, Devon
    Chrissy: Ryan, Mike
    Devon: Ben, Ryan
    Mike: Devon, Ben
    Ryan: Chrissy, Devon

    I will say 6-2-0 for the final vote.

  • DrVanNostrand

    I don’t get how anyone thinks Chrissy is winning. I mean, I was furious about Michele, but you can definitely see it: People liked her. Very few people on this season like Chrissy, so it’s just not going to happen. Based on the favorable edit, I’m going to guess Ben.

  • Max_Jets

    I have not looked at any other site predictions for this and, but if I have to guess the rumored tie vote it would be a Ben/Devon/Chrissy final 3. Mike is out 5th, Devon (or Ben) brings Chrissy to the end.
    Ben – Joe, Desi, Mike
    Devon – Cole, Lauren, Ashley
    Chrissy – Ryan, JP

    (I don’t know if Chrissy voters revote, but if they do then we’ll have Ryan go for Devon, and JP go for Ben)
    Chrissy votes for ___ to win. Logic suggests a Devon win, but it seems too good to be true so I’ll predict Ben.

  • BadPlayer91

    These last weeks before the Holidays have been so hectic and stressful, so I haven’t had a ton of time to PRP it up. But Friday i’ll be done with work and have plenty of time to discuss the conclusion to this season of beige Survivor and my slog through Redemption Island!

  • DrVanNostrand

    OH SHIT!!! I just realized I’m leaving for Christmas vacation on Wednesday, and I won’t get to watch the finale until 12/30. The fact that I’m going to miss Survivor sucks, but the fact that I’m going to Rome for Christmas is still awesome.

    • StormofCuteness

      Ooooh, I am so jealous. I almost did a Rome, Florence, and Venice trip for Christmas this year…but finances. Sigh. I hope you have a glorious time!

      • DrVanNostrand

        My whole family is scattered around the world, Germany, Spain, Colombia, Wisconsin, and Boston (me). So the only time we all get together is Christmas every other year. My sister in Colombia used to live in Rome for about 15 years, so we’ve done quite a few holidays there over the years. I love Rome, but now that I have a real job, I really look forward to seeing the rest of Italy when my sister and brother in law semi-retire there in a few years.

        • StormofCuteness

          Now I’m even more envious because there is nothing quite like knowing locals to really experience the great cities of the world!

    • forever1267

      If you accidentally post pictures in a future thread about, uh, “Suvivor: Rome”, I won’t complain to the management….

    • Don’t worry, if Chrissy gets zero votes in final tribal council you should be able to hear us patting ourselves on the back even in Italy.

      • purplerockandy

        It’ll seem like such a weird thing to brag about.

  • sharculese

    I don’t understand why this is called jury jeopardy. It bears as little resemblance to Jeopardy! as these bear to people who can play Survivor.

    • On the other hand, a lot of my reactions to them have been phrased in the form of a question:
      “What the fuck?!”
      “What is that idiot doing?”
      “Why would you do that?!”
      “Who is JP?”
      “Do these people understand how numbers work?”
      “What exactly do these people think a ‘social game’ is?”

    • indescribable hat

      Eh, I’ve gone further for alliteration.

  • forever1267

    I’m confused by something.

    You had to chance to show The Abs, and yet you… chose… not to….

    I thought that was what we were here for……

    • purplerockandy

      Had to balance the desire to give the people what they want with my desire to use the first Cole pic I found.

  • indescribable hat

    Whoever, not whomever. Is it “She thinks him can keep Ben from winning?” No, it’s “She thinks he can keep Ben from winning,” so it’s “Whoever she thinks can keep Ben from winning.”

    Sometimes I try not to be a dick and correct people’s grammar on the internet, but Andy, I know you would want to get these things right.

    • purplerockandy

      I had whoever, then switched it for some reason. Now I’m too lazy to correct it.

      • indescribable hat

        Laziness I can respect.