Guest post- Dogwhistling Dixie: the Michaela Bradshaw story

Some people blow whistles that a select few can hear. Technology is helping us bring those frequencies to light.

For 34 seasons, Survivor has repeatedly been called a social experiment. Today, we focus our lens on the experiences of one participant in this social experiment, Michaela Bradshaw.

On Day 3 of Survivor: Game Changers, a majority comes together

the face of power

to vote out the “weakest threat,” which they decide is Ciera. They tell Ciera that they are all voting for Michaela because she’s “confrontational” and “kind of the outcast.”

Michaela asks who Ciera thinks everyone is voting for.


And the cop shoots the black person.


Nah, but they really do tell her she’s the decoy without any explanation.


Michaela doesn’t like that and storms off.


Oops, let me try that again… and storms off!


Aubry, who’s known for being a compassionate player, checks in on Michaela.


Michaela is upset about seeing her name written down in a game where you don’t want your name written down. It’s pure insolence for Michaela to not completely trust these people she just met two days ago. She’s lucky they even told her who to vote for despite not giving any input into the decision!

Aubry is sympathetic, but Michaela ungratefully accepts Aubry’s offer, “Yeah, I think it needs to change to someone else.” #rude


[Pictured: Hot streaking]


Michaela prepares to hot streak, scouting out the territory.


But Michaela is hottest of them all, so this frightens Aubry.


Her hot streak will literally burn the whole place down.

Michaela looking pale after hot streaking

Tony and Caleb are shook.



Let’s check in on that blow up.


Her hotness is uncontainable.


Damn, wrong gif again. I meant…


Look at the “scary” way she interacts with people.



Sorry, THIS is how Michaela interacts with people…


It’s so scary, it’s as if somebody ignited her the wrong way,


and the whole place is burning down.


Wait, did Aubry write the wrong name again? Why didn’t she cross it out like last time?

Anyway, obviously the takeaway here is that Michaela should know her place and stop asking questions.


Fast forward to Day 12 of the game. Michaela’s tribe won a reward of coffee and sugar, and one of her tribemates loooooves him some coffee and sugar.



JT loves consuming coffee and sugar so much that when the supply starts running out, he leads a witch hunt against…those who were consuming it.

who, oh who, could it be


Michaela doesn’t like coffee, so she never drank any of it. But on this day, she wants to try it. She asks Aubry and JT, “Is there enough for me to get leftovers?”

entitlement, amirite


She then instructs Aubry, “Put seven drops of coffee and a scoop of sugar in it.”


Aubry must be cocking her head and pitching her voice that way because she recognizes that order as a Cuban coffee! These women are so cultured!


Hang on, did the camera just zoom in on Aubry’s face with the word “Ignorance” under it? No comprendo.



Let’s not get gross, Aubry. There’s only one God.



Anyway, Sandra notices JT’s hot streak reasonable concern with Michaela, so she


ignites it, killing off the sugar. As one does with a reasonable concern.

JT immediately notices the sugar’s gone (Editor’s note: heh) and announces that he knows who’s been eating it (Editor’s note: heh).


Oh oh, I know this one! Is it…


JT? It’s JT!


Oh. Wow, we identified a suspect so quickly! Did she match a description? ????

This is a pretty egregious crime, so JT and Aubry have weapons ready just in case the situation escalates.

JT says, “I was wondering how (the sugar) was disappearing so fast.”


He insists he doesn’t eat sugar, but that “somebody” does…and then the “Fijian gods” zoom in on his face…drinking sugary coconut water!


Aha! He must sweeten his coffee with coconut water! Is it a family recipe?


Cool, I’ll try it out.

JT shows concern for Michaela’s well-being. “Michaela’s starting to kind of lose her bearings out here. She’s a little out there already. Unstable.”


No reaction to a a fall like that? Sociopath.

JT continues, “Yesterday the challenge was a little bit hard for me to handle.” The fall did look rough, and he also probably felt horrible losing their lead.


“You know, no one wants to babysit out here when we’re trying to survive.”

wasting everybody’s time


“I can offer a hell of a lot more than Michaela can.”



He talks about what camp life would be like after their upcoming tribal council. “Gonna be a lot less babysitting.”

rock a bye baaaby


“A lot less bitterness.”


“A lot less bad energy.”



“A lot less crybaby.”



“I can’t think of not one reason why anyone would want to keep Michaela in this game versus running with me.”



And the thing is, there are no acceptable excuses here. We see how Michaela treats JT time and time and time again…



He’s telling her all the ways that she is awful, and she never even thanks him! It must be so wearing on JT to give so much constructive feedback to someone so ungrateful. And those eyes; those aggressive, murderous eyes.

She obviously stokes his fire and spreads bitterness at camp.



When taking a critical look at who should be voted out next, Aubry offers wise words: “[Michaela] is an intelligent, independent female,”

This chicken is female. Tai is spewing feed to her.


“but I mean, it’s clear from this tribal that we have a quality of life issue going on here.”


“For J.T., we came into his camp. He’s done his job. He’s been a part of us.”


Whereas Michaela, well, I don’t know if you heard, but she ate all of JT’s camp sugar and LICKED the jar CLEAN. What a yokel.



JT has a real eye for detail and brings levity to this onerous game. Right, Aubry?


Aubry? Aubry…uh…


Look, don’t worry. All your allies — Tony, Malcolm, JT — they’ll be handed plenty of coffee, sugar, immunity, and dignity in real life.


As JT pointed out, Michaela still has a lot to learn (kid).

The merge is upon us, and per Survivor tradition, it is inaugurated by a feast. The timing is wonderful as it comes right on the heels of a grave loss suffered by Sierra, Aubry, and Brad.



They didn’t win pizza in a game where pizza represents your life.

In a blatant show of disrespect for their grief, Michaela refuses to lean into starvation and misery,

Just how black is her heart?


instead resorting to violence.



Is eating a coconut really worth rebuffing your tribemates? Wouldn’t you rather sink to their depths?



It is decreed that people are allowed to enjoy the merge feast.



Obv Michaela still manages to do it wrong.



Sierra really embraces the role of model for Michaela here. Let’s back that up real quick and slow it down so we can really appreciate it.



A mere three days after this feast, Sierra doesn’t win a reward of burgers.

Every time she loses a reward, she sinks to a dark place.



In her darkness she enlightens those who need it. Break it down for us, girl.


Sierra’s burger sacrifice reminds us that the best Survivor seasons are the ones in which players are uncomfortable and complain all the time.



The majority alliance has been doing the Lord’s work enforcing despair this season. They are made up of five people who possess all three idols and both advantages that are live in the game.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the new face of power.


Let’s address the elephant in the room: Tai.

There’s one very obvious quality that separates him from the rest of this bunch………he does not throw shade, and I am not referring to his physique.

Sierra gets busy spilling the tea at the merge.


Sierra laughs it up with people, chit chatting, but always, always keeps an eye out because… “she’s a little shifty.”



No, silly, Sierra’s not shifty! Her primary target is.

“She’s tough to be around.”



“She’s a loose cannon.”



“She will sneak up on every conversation.”


“Creeping around a bush…”


“She will not let anybody talk.”



“She’s also very blunt and doesn’t have a lot of tact.”


You don’t have to read any tea leaves to figure this one out. Sierra clarifies exactly who she is ‘gunning’ for…


when she identifies herself as law enforcement.

Bingo! Michaela Bradshaw.


Brad is “so sick of Michaela.”


Debbie says, “She’s highly annoying, and just has a bad attitude.”



It’s easy to see why Brad “can’t stand her.”

WAY too much standing


She can’t, for the life of her, fit in.



It’s a huuuuuuge social faux pas to eat coconut at camp.

Brad Culpepper, not eating


You’re ONLY supposed to eat at SANCTIONED events like REWARDS,

Piling it on


which she never wins


because she does everything wrong.

[Pictured: Michaela never being just right.]

Not doing enough


Doing too much


Not enough


Too much


Not enough


Too much


No wonder Sierra says, “I’m constantly on edge with Michaela around…if one thing sets Michaela off, then we’re all going down…”



which is exactly why all the *smart* people come in to Survivor guns blazing. You have to be quick to the draw with certain types of people.

As per usual, Michaela does get set off. She’s so overly sensitive!



She hits up Cirie.



Cirie tolerates this conversation because it turns out that they have something unique in common! They’re both……women! Not only that, but each is a…….person. Cirie is just an older version. I’m glad Cirie is here to point out these little details that we might have missed.


Remember Sandra? She also supported Michaela and had friendly, honest conversation with her, which is weird because she had absolutely nothing in common with Michaela or Cirie. See, look:

I don’t see tribe color. I just see……a person.



The important thing to remember here is that Survivor is a numbers game. But Cirie and Sandra are only two…people (who SUCK at challenges, by the way! Nevermind that Cirie was undefeated in the pre-merge). Many others have complained about Michaela. The words speak for themselves. I mean, the numbers, the numbers speak for themselves.

Cirie unleashes some black magic upon Michaela.


She warns Michaela that she stands out to “them.” You know,



the people in power.


Cirie tells her to be more “regular.” Blend in, as one would their makeup so that there are no stark color streaks.

‘lighten up’


Hey, whoa, hey, laughter is for sanctioned events only! Get un-happy and start being regular!

It’s this irregular behavior that makes Sierra concerned for everyone’s safety. “We keep Michaela in this game, and she’s gonna come back and wreak havoc. It’s gonna be awful.”

Sure enough, immediately after tribal council, after keeping Michaela in the game,


Michaela rubs it in everyone’s faces how peacefully she’s able to rest in such a tough environment, wreaking havoc in the minds and spirits of all.

Ooooeeeee the bedlam this causes!


Is this Aubry, HOT STREAKING?? Look what being around Michaela has done to her!

Surely people aren’t condemning COCK on SURVIVOR?!!

Rubbing your forehead is a known technique for instigating civilized, tranquil women.

Survivor producers cleeeeeearly aren’t showing us what Michaela is REALLY like at camp. To this end, we found footage that was edited out of this episode just to make Michaela look good.

WARNING: the following content contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and some bitches. Viewer discretion is advised.


See that? This is the menace, the scourge upon society who’s running loose out there. I just hope the big cocks grasp the danger and do a bit more policing.



Because if they just let this kind of behavior go unchecked, this is what you get.

They ???????? Clap???????? Back


Queens stay queens. ¡Adiós!