Survivor Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers Week One Predictions

Hey remember how we do weekly predictions among the staff then invite our readers to do the same? I almost didn’t! But… here it is.

Staff Predictions

Andy

So this one is a little tough since I decided to take in ZERO preseason coverage. Even though this fits into our signature laziness (laziness that still somehow translated into me getting multiple posts up every week all off season), I swear that for me, this was motivated more by wanting to experiment with how this will affect my perception of the season rather than a desire not to do a podcast. Well… that and the fact that I HATE preseason coverage (for newbie seasons). The bios are almost without exception stupid. The videos not much better. And while this season offered some unparalleled longform opportunities to get to know these players in ways that the bios and videos don’t, I’m not particularly interested in who these people are BEFORE they play Survivor. Seriously, that’s what preseason coverage is: profiling and forming opinions on a bunch of people who have never played Survivor. No thanks.

But that does make picking a first boot from each of these three tribes more difficult. Now that I think about it, it should have no effect on my success rate, which I think is basically zero. I’m not sure I’ve ever predicted the first boot correctly, other than the time John and I both confidently said that Laura Boneham would be chosen to go to redemption island by her tribe and Rupert would make a big show of taking her place. Nailed that one. That was also the very first first “boot” prediction I ever publicly made. All downhill from there (and Rupert wasn’t technically the first boot).

So I guess what’s difficult is coming up with reasonsfor these pics. But since all I’ll be going from is their tiny head shots on the Wiki, you can probably figure out why I’m choosing who I’m choosing.

Heroes: Katrina
Healers: Desi
Hustlers: Simone

John

Chrissy- I don’t think this tribe will lose the first challenge anyway, but if they did I’m banking on Chrissy’s “I’m so sorry for playing Survivor” face in her cast photo makes her tribemates think she doesn’t want to be there.

Roark- The three guys align and add Desi, leaving only two potential targets. I flipped a coin and decided Roark is the one they target.

Simone- This looks like a tribe loaded with first boots. Ryan, Lauren, Patrick, and Simone all seem like they could go first. But I’ll guess it’s Simone, since at least some of the others seem like Survivor fans, and they might band together to keep each other around.

Emily

Heroes: Katrina is the wacky (relatively) older lady, especially since Chrissy intends to lie about her age. Sure, she can probably still swim well, but I don’t think this tribe is going to be worried about their physicality, since they have that in spades.

Healers: Originally I was going to say I thought they’d worry that Joe is going to be Tony. Plus he’s on John’s fantasy team. But Roark is the most popular on Pick-4, and that person has had a bad track record in recent years, so let’s go with that.

Hustlers: There are genuinely so many options, but I’m going to say Ryan because it would be cosmic justice for him to go before the WOC on the tribe. Might as well enjoy some optimism before the season starts.

Matt

Okay, picking Katrina. This is a tough pick based only on names, tribes and ages. But this tribe has two women in their mid-40s and Survivor tends to vote out older women in its first episode (unless it decides to vote out a minority woman). I think Chrissy looks more midwestern mom, so Katrina is the one that has to go.

For the aforementioned reason I want to pick Ali. Young black women seem to especially struggle on the show. Maybe they tend to cast them as foils to uptight white men who inevitably hold power over them at the beginning of the game. But instead I’m going to say Ryan who from his picture looks like a nerdy rat-fucker who people will vote out for overstrategizing on day 1.

Finally, I am going to say Mike. Looking through the headshots of this final tribe, it is like young and pretty, young, young and pretty (Cole here), sorta young and kinda muscular i guess, young and holy shit you are beautiful and Mike. One of these stands out like a sore thumb and it aint any of the young/pretty people, its the nerdy every man.

Mark

They say trust your instincts, so I put all of 30 seconds of thought into these. Fingers crossed.
Heroes: Katrina. She’s the oldest.
Healers: Joe. He’s the Tony-est.
Hustlers: Devon. He’s the douchiest.

ย 
Andy John Emma
Matt Mark
Readers
Heroes First Out Katrina Chrissy Katrina Katrina Katrina Katrina
Healers First Out Desi Roark Roark Mike Joe Mike
Hustlers First Out Simone Simone Ryan Ryan Devon Simone

Winner Predictions

Continuing the theme of “doing something new by doing nothing”, we’re not doing winner predictions anymore. The past few seasons have proven that competing to be the earliest, most certain person of the end result of the season is hands down the least fun or interesting discussion in all of Survivor fandom. So, we’re not gonna do it anymore. Or, at least not officially. I’m sure in conversations we’ll continue to predict outcomes, because that’s pretty much how anyone discusses any ongoing story. But writing down our winner firsties for all the world to see? Miss me with that.

Your Turn

Time for you all to consensus pick who will be the first boot, depending on which tribe goes to tribal council.

Week One: If the Heroes tribe goes to Tribal Council, who is going home?

  • Katrina (59% Votes)
  • Ashley (24% Votes)
  • Chrissy (9% Votes)
  • JP (4% Votes)
  • Alan (2% Votes)
  • Ben (2% Votes)

Total Voters: 54

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Week One: If the Healers tribe goes to Tribal Council, who is going home?

  • Mike (29% Votes)
  • Joe (23% Votes)
  • Roark (23% Votes)
  • Desi (13% Votes)
  • Jessica (10% Votes)
  • Cole (2% Votes)

Total Voters: 52

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Week One: If the Husters tribe goes to Tribal Council, who is going home?

  • Simone (44% Votes)
  • Lauren (31% Votes)
  • Ryan (15% Votes)
  • Patrick (6% Votes)
  • Ali (2% Votes)
  • Devon (2% Votes)

Total Voters: 52

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Andy
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Andy

Co-host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast and the Canadian of the group, Andy has been watching Survivor continuously since the very beginning and likes to treat that as some kind of virtue to lord over others.

Favourite seasons: Heroes vs Villains, Cook Islands, Palau, The Amazon, Cagayan
Favourite players: Boston Rob, Kim Spradlin, Tony Vlachos, Cirie Fields, Yul Kwon, Rob Cesternino
Andy
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  • Mike Hirsch

    I have missed the Predictions posts! Ok, I picked Ashley, Desi, Lauren. Ashley because everyone seems to hate her based on their first impressions, Desi because of what Matt said about Ali, and Lauren because she is the odd person out on that tribe, in a tribe full of odd people out.
    I have zero expectations for this season, which is a nice feeling after the exorbitantly high expectations for season 34 and the impossibly high expectations already for season 36.

    • prettyboyprobst

      Wait, what’s the deal with season 36? Why are expectations high?
      I agree about this season, I had no problems keeping my expectations in check (in large part due to fantastic season of Australian Survivor, I would think, but I guess Game Changers leaving a bad taste and the terrible theme also played a role).

      • purplerockandy

        Mike is SUPER into ghosts.

        • prettyboyprobst

          Oh right, Ghost Island. Better name than HvHvH for sure, but I forgot all the related speculation that I’ve seen about it.

          • Hornacek

            I have no idea what “Ghost Island” means, but if the advertising for that season doesn’t include Ray Parker singing “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!” then CBS has failed all of us.

          • Sylvisual

            SPOILER
            .
            .
            .
            .
            .
            Bill Murray is the final immunity challenge.

          • BadPlayer91

            Bill Murray can be any fucking thing he wants and i’ll just cheer and clap.

        • sharculese

          They keep us safe from the Terminators.

          • Hornacek

            They mostly come at night.
            Mostly.

        • Mike Hirsch

          They could also be pirate ghosts. Or giant statues of former Survivors that bellow fire and occasionally their most popular catchphrases.
          Or they hired people to dress up like Inky, Blinky, Winky and Clyde from Pac-Man and chase the contestants around. Or they just hired interns to shout “Boooo!” from just outside camp every so often.
          Seriously, there are so many opportunities here for over the top awesomeness that I’m positive they’ll do something stupid like a rebranded Redemption Island and it’ll be so, so disappointing.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        When they pull off Russell’s mask and it’s Rudy under there, then you’ll understand.

  • Maritimer

    I picked Lauren, for the reasons you all said, Mike because the pretty people will align and leave Mike/Joe out (not that the Healers will lose), and Ryan because its what I want.
    My winner pick in these posts was almost always who I wanted to win rather than who I thought would win, because that’s not really a thing from preseason videos anyway. This time its Cole

  • Blurry Denzel

    Last season I predicted finishing spots for everyone on the season. I did really shitty so naturally I’ve decided to do it again. This will be divided by pre merge boot, post merge boot, final boot, finalists and winner

    Survivor season 35 predictions

    Pre Merge Boots
    Ali
    Joe
    Lauren
    Mike
    Patrick
    Simone

    Post Merge Boots
    Alan
    Ashley
    Cole
    Devon
    JP
    Katrina
    Roark
    Ryan

    Final Boot
    Jessica

    Finalists
    Ben
    Chrissy

    Winner
    Desi

  • BadPlayer91

    Heroes: I would have picked Katrina if I hadn’t put her on my pick 4 team. So, Ben. Because I’m already bored by the ‘I served” angle, particularly after an entire TAR season of Ron the POW

    Healers: I chose Jessica. Largey because she seemed to get very little attention from production heading into the season, which I read as meaning she will either win it or lose early.

    Hustlers: I’m so convinced it will be Simone, but I picked Lauren because she has more of the ‘first boot’ indicators we’re used to seeing: over 30 single mom, short hair cut, bulky physique. Something about her says that when her tribe isn’t sure who to vote out, she’s the one everyone will naturally land on.

  • sharculese

    Ryan goes home after someone smells the fart he’s clearly cutting in that promo pic.

    • the sky is falling

      counterpoint: He who smelt it, dealt it.

      • sharculese

        You can’t vote for yourself.

        • the sky is falling

          “Oh man, I have nobody to blame but myself. I was the victim of my own stupidity,” โ€”Tyson

          • Hornacek

            “I am the author of my own fate!”
            – Brandon Hantz, Occupation: Russell Hantz’s Nephew

    • gouis

      Please. If Ryan does well after Reddit is all up on his dick after what happened with Adam I coudln’t deal.

      • sharculese

        I don’t know how I didn’t guess that he was a redditor.

        • Purple Rock Emma

          I think he’s the physical embodiment of reddit.

          • gouis

            Yeah he’s not a reddditor. Just all of their spirit animal physical manifested.

          • sharculese

            I thought reddit’s spirit animal was a single red pill?

          • Sylvisual

            Which is exactly what Ryan is.

          • gouis

            Have you seen his sweater?

          • sharculese

            I havent. Are sweaters an MRA thing now? Do I have to burn all my sweaters?

          • gouis

            No it’s just giant and red.

          • gouis

            Did you hear on RHAP where he said his least fav Survivor was Shirin for “reasons”? He is them.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        I’m excited I picked the villain in Outcasts. I thrive on the hatred.

  • Saturday Night Palsy

    For the H tribe I picked Devon’s tongue because it is useless at camp, brings nothing to the challenges, and just sort of hangs out of Devon’s mouth all day reminding the other players that Devon and his tongue are a power couple that needs to be broken up. For the H tribe I picked Joe and for the H tribe I picked JP because my sworn enemy has them in one of the fantasy leagues.

    • sharculese

      Devon’s tongue because it is useless at camp, brings nothing to the challenges, and just sort of hangs out of Devon’s mouth all day reminding the other players that Devon and his tongue are a power couple that needs to be broken up

      aka Nale’ing it.

      • StormofCuteness

        Hahahaha

    • Purple Rock Emma

      I bet I can find a use for Devon’s ton… no, no never mind. I’m sorry.

      • sharculese

        Take one look at Devon and tell me he’s not a selfish lover.

        • BadPlayer91

          I’d guess selfish in a ‘doesn’t know any better’ way. Like, he lacks understanding or knowledge of the female orgasm, meaning he pays it no mind. That kind of selfish.

          • TheForRealDeal

            “Hey, that was a lot of fun. Well, good night!”

            [Heavy snoring]

        • Purple Rock Emma

          Look, if SNP had said Cole, I would have said Cole. But you gotta go where the jokes are.

      • Hornacek

        Someone’s been listening to the Corinne-cast.

        • purplerockandy

          I’m sure someone has been… but I doubt that person was Emma.

    • Hornacek

      Man, I hope that H tribe beats those other H tribes, I hate them so much!

      For years, the CFL had 2 different teams named “Rough Riders” so Canadians had conversations like “Did you hear? The Rough Riders beat the Rough Riders last night.” “Yeah, I love the Rough Riders, I’m glad they beat the Rough Riders.” and everyone understood what we meant.

      • purplerockandy

        One team was the Rough Riders, the other is the Roughriders. Get the spelling right, Hornacek. SMDH.

        • Hornacek

          I think I’ve stated many times here that I am not a fan of sport.

          Plus the conversations I mentioned in my previous comment were oral; they were pre-text/pre-email.

          • BadPlayer91

            SPORTS!

          • Hornacek

            Wasn’t Danielle Delorenzo a “Captain of Sports”?

          • BadPlayer91

            gawd I hope so.

          • Hornacek

            I think that term was used to describe her in Panama. I’ve heard Rob mention it on the podcast more than once.

          • By The Numbers

            Danielle referred to herself that way. Only reason I remember is because Rob and Wigler mocked her endlessly for it in TEOS

          • Hornacek

            I just finished the Guatemala TEOS episodes so Panama will be next.

          • purplerockandy

            I do admire how you rarely let your lack of knowledge of sports stop you from making sports jokes. I’m the same way about books.

          • Hornacek

            When you hang around with people that are big into sports, you pick up a few things. Plus, pop culture osmosis i.e. I learned about poker from TNG and baseball from DS9

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            NERD!!!

          • Hornacek
      • Saturday Night Palsy

        Oh, Canada!

      • Taako From Teevhii

        This reinforces the Cool/Stupid dichotomy of CFL names. Like, Stampeders? Cool. Tiger-Cats? Um…

        • Hornacek

          I will hear no mocking of the Redblacks team name!

          • Taako From Teevhii

            But like, was that the best name they could come up with? It’s not like that’s a name that been with the club for five decades. It had to have been heavily focus-grouped.

          • Hornacek

            It was a nationwide vote between Redblacks and BlackReds with 97% turnout at the voting stations for it.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Is this true? I’m starting to think that Canada isn’t real and y’all are just fucking with me.

          • Hornacek

            It was the lowest voter turnout in Canadian voting history since the 1997 vote to make Shamrock Shakes year-round (98% turnout).

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Isn’t your Prime Minister a talking moose that used to be a famous professional curler?

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I thought that was Timmy’s CEO.

          • Hornacek

            No, that talking moose was PM in the 00s, but had to resign due to a maple syrup expense scandal.

          • the sky is falling

            So that was after Moose and Squirrel lost narrowly due to Russian interference?

          • Hornacek

            It wasn’t Moose and Squirrel’s fault! The Russians were using upsidaisium!

    • StormofCuteness

      These aren’t bitter choices at all. *side eye*

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        A bellhop never forgets.

        • Hornacek

          My favorite Tom Clancy novel.

  • Diego Armando

    Heroes: Ashley – She is the youngest person on her tribe, and the older people will likely stick together. I don’t think they will lose though.

    Healers: Desi – Because everything sucks

    Husters: Lauren – I am 50/50 between her and Simone, but Lauren is the oldest person on a young tribe and stated that she can be hardheaded. This does not bode well for her. I could see Simone alienating people though.

  • Diego Armando

    I have no idea of a winner. I would likely shrug and say, “Maybe Jessica?”.

    The reason I didn’t pick Mike was because I think he might find the Idol. I think the idols are going to be found by

    Heroes: Most Likely Ben, possibly Chrissy
    Healers: Most Likely Mike, then Joe
    Hustlers: Almost certainly Ryan.

    • Mike Hirsch

      Agreed on your idol choices.

      • StormofCuteness

        It’s spooky how good these choices seem.

    • Taako From Teevhii

      It’d be very predictable for Ryan to find the idol. Which is why I’d be over the moon to see Lauren find it on accident.

      • Saturday Night Palsy

        A good bellhop is an observant bellhop. Ryan will hide three or four idols in his turtleneck by the end of the season.

        • Taako From Teevhii

          Judging by the size of him, I’m not sure those idols would be well-hidden.

          • Diego Armando

            “Just so you know, I easily get an allergic reaction that causes me to grow large welts under my turtlenecks. Pay them no mind.”

            Devon: “I’ve heard about that”.

      • Diego Armando

        I don’t want him to find it. I just think he will be the only guy to actively look for it.

        I would love for this to be a Keith/Ralph finds the idol situation.

  • Diego Armando

    I think Simone, Lauren, and Ashley are going home premerge. I think JP and Alan are among the first to go postmerge. That is all I got.

    • BadPlayer91

      I agree on Alan, he has ‘keep him around till the merge than get rid of him first thing’ written all over him.

      aka, people can see his muscles when he takes off his shirt…

    • Maritimer

      I actually think JP could go far, because he seems quite bland and won’t strike anyone as a social or strategic threat. I see almost Eddie upside for him, he makes it quite far because even though he’s good at challenges, he’s not a real threat

      • Mike Hirsch

        Yeah, I can see that about JP.

    • StormofCuteness

      I agree. They really seem in danger from what little I’ve seen on them thus far.

  • prettyboyprobst

    I’m on board with Emma’s picks as a realistic best case scenario, but for some reason I voted Ashley instead of Katrina for the Heroes tribe (probably to make listening to so many of the Wigler preseason podcasts count for something, but I’m not super convinced, even though I like Diego’s reasoning).

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      I picked Ashley for the Heroes first boot too. My justification was that I thought the two older women would likely team up, and thus have more influence as a voting unit. No idea if that’s remotely plausible, but it felt right at the time.

      • BadPlayer91

        That is what I would hope happens, but I think given Chrissy has said she will lie about her age, she is more likely to sell out Katrina to get an in with the younger players. And given the overall age and vibe of the cast, I can’t really blame her.

        • Ms. Sweaterfan

          Ah good point. I didn’t know about Chrissy’s plan to lie about her age – she will probably try to avoid Katrina then. I just think Ashley is such a nonentity. But that probably means she’ll be around until late-merge :/

          • Maritimer

            I’m not sure. She gave off negative vibes at the pregame Ponderosa according to the cast interviews. I considered her as a first boot pick for that tribe, but I don’t think they’ll lose first and she may be able to make friends over 6+ days

          • BadPlayer91

            That’s what I’m banking on for Katrina. If Heroes goes to tribal early, then she’s clearly at a risk for the early boot, but I think as long as she avoids tribal early, she could cement some relationships and overcome first impressions to get a good footing in the tribe. And a fair number of time, the older women who have avoided an early boot stick around a long time as the ‘mother’ figure no one wants to get rid of.

          • Maritimer

            Its amazing how different Day 3 first tribal is from a Day 9 or 12 first tribal

          • Diego Armando

            Honestly, the Heroes Tribe looks pretty stacked. 3 strong guys, the 2 best swimmers and a person who claims to be great at puzzles.

          • StormofCuteness

            This is exactly what I’m banking on with Katrina.

  • gouis

    Hey why can’t I vote?

    • gouis

      Hey now I can

      • Sylvisual

        Someone posted bail.

        • gouis

          Borrnnn freeee

    • Hornacek

      Are you a convicted felon? Be honest.

      • gouis

        Yes ๐Ÿ™

  • gouis

    Also, A++ for getting rid of winner “predictions”, especially by the internet voters.

    • Now that last season is over, I can inform you all that I was checking the polling for any potential spoiled voters. There were no voters that consistently got the boot order correct. I think the fact that the voting is anonymous reduces the incentive for spoiled people to vote, since you can’t bask in the glory of your “predictions” coming true.

  • Ms. Sweaterfan

    If I may be a cranky whiner for a second: everyone’s name is mismatched with their appearance/personality this season.

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      Real Name: Should be:
      Alan JP
      Ali Ashley
      Ashley who?
      Ben Joe
      Chrissy Lauren
      Cole Devon
      Desi Simone
      Devon Ryan
      JP Mike
      Jessica Katrina
      Joe Tony, I guess?
      Katrina Like, Linda or Cheryl
      Lauren Deb or Pam
      Mike Alan
      Patrick I’ll allow it
      Roark Jessica
      Ryan I’m tired of this game
      Simone Francesqua, since she’s totally the first boot

    • Ms. Sweaterfan

      Real Name/Should be:
      Alan/JP
      Ali/Ashley
      Ashley/who?
      Ben/Joe
      Chrissy/Lauren
      Cole/Devon
      Desi/Simone
      Devon/Ryan
      JP/Mike
      Jessica/Katrina
      Joe/Tony, I guess?
      Katrina/like, Linda or Cheryl
      Lauren/Deb or Pam
      Mike/Alan
      Patrick/I’ll allow it
      Roark/Jessica
      Ryan/I’m tired of this game
      Simone/Francesqua, since she’s totally the first boot

      • Mike Hirsch

        Simone is my damn Champions pick so she better not be Francesqua!

        • Hornacek

          She doesn’t look like she’s eaten a rock in her entire life.

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Who did John pick in Champions League?

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Make sure you tag him so he definitely sees this. @purplerockjohn:disqus

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            My phone won’t do that. The text never turns blue.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I gotchu then. Yo @purplerockjohn:disqus, Palsy wants to know who you picked for the Champions League.

          • I can understand why you’d want to seek the advice of the all-time leader in Champions League scoring. But I humbly decided to step aside and give others a shot at the crown this season. It gets tiring being so good, you know?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            You know, every time you post something like that a hurricane strikes Florida again.

          • Mike Hirsch

            I hear you. That’s definitely why I picked Paul and Lucy in MvGx.

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Oh I get it. Kinda like how Jason Terry has Milwaukee’s most career points.

          • StormofCuteness

            Yeah, mine either, what up with that? @Taako From Teevhii

          • Taako From Teevhii

            I’m going to test something from my phone @SNPalsy:disqus

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Hey hey! It worked!

            Okay @stormofcuteness:disqus, @SNPalsy:disqus and whoever else wants to know:

            Disqus tagging is a function of @-names, not screen names. For example, my screen name is Taako From Teevhii, but my @ handle is @Taako_From_Teevhii. If you click the link in my name at the top of this comment, it’d show you my profile page and my @ name. You can share a screen name (e.g. anyone else in the world who wants “John” as a Disqus screen name), but @ handles are unique. So that’s how Disqus knows who to notify.

            If you want to tag someone on mobile or to tag someone who hasn’t yet commented on the post you’re in, you’d need to type @, their handle, then “:disqus.”

            The main problem is that you’re then required to know someone’s @ handle if you want to tag them. But Disqus never shows you that unless you look for it. So it’s kinda a non-starter.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Thanks @Taako_From_Teevhii:disqus !

          • StormofCuteness

            Yipes! I feel better that I couldn’t figure this out now. Still, I’m probably too lazy to do this often or at all.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            But it’s easy @stormofcuteness:disqus !

          • StormofCuteness

            Well, my name is! ๐Ÿ˜‚

        • Taako From Teevhii

          Oh. … Oh dear.

        • prettyboyprobst

          I have Joe in Pick-4 and my 6-team-draft league, but I have a really bad feeling he might be the Francesquoi. Some changes to my team might be in order after tonight.
          My Champions pick (are we calling them that, because we don’t do winner picks anymore?) is Chrissy, but also Desi, but I feel like I’m also much higher on Simone than most people are.
          The Hustler tribe seems awful in comparison which could be her undoing, but I don’t see huge deadweights on their (or any) tribe, so it could often just come down picking the right puzzle, locks etc. I trust Simone to play nice in the early goings, so if they don’t lose to often, she could go deep. Or it doesn’t matter how often they lose, because they lose first and she’s out first, like everyone is saying…

      • prettyboyprobst

        Yes! This cast would make a whole lot more sense if only they could have agreed to switch some of their names around, maybe vote on it case by case. Good work!

        Patrick/I’ll allow it

        Yep, he’s fine.

        • Maritimer

          We’re going to leave the obvious “Archie” on the board are we?

          • prettyboyprobst

            We are. I blame Alan and Mike for not being an ‘Archie’. Without an Archie in the mix, Patrick is more than appropriate for Patrick.

          • Maritimer

            Fair, if its limited to this cast, he’s the Patrick for sure

          • prettyboyprobst

            Hmm, I wouldn’t say name availability is strictly limited to this cast, but there has to be a clear need for an outside name existent.

  • the sky is falling

    I’m still hoping this is the Bizarro Survivor season it appears to be
    Joe: Bizarro Tony
    Devon: Bizarro Woo
    Patrick: Bizarro Cochran
    Alan: Bizarro Jeremy
    Mike: Bizarro David Wright

    • Mike Hirsch

      If they all shout “Bizarro!” a lot, I would love that.

      • the sky is falling

        Dream scenario would be if they had to face their counterparts in the challenges. Like Seinfeld did that one time

    • Hornacek

      The first one of these to win a reward has to say “Me so happy me could cry.”

      • Diego Armando

        Me so angry me can laugh.

    • Saturday Night Palsy

      Hopefully all of their facial hair will grow out in goatees.

    • Figaro

      Oooh! Ryan: Bizarro Adam
      Lauren: Bizzaro Lunchlady Denise
      This is fun!

  • Taako From Teevhii

    WAIT.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Who the hell is Emily?

    • Hornacek

      Must be someone new on the site …

      • Taako From Teevhii

        I didn’t even know they were looking for new staffers.

        • Hornacek

          They probably expected a huge amount of feedback from the Rob and Amber Get Married coverage and hired someone to handle it.

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Like one of those wedding specialists? Like Martin Short in Father of the Bride?

          • Hornacek

            Franck!

          • Taako From Teevhii

            Probably should hire someone to just listen to Andy talk about BRob so the rest of us don’t have to.

    • Purple Rock Emma

      I bet she’s a bitch.

      • Hornacek

        She sounds like someone who eats all kinds of food and tans a lot.

      • Taako From Teevhii

        She sounds like a Dodgers fan. (That was too far wasn’t it? Sorry. Im sorry. Im trying to remove it).

        • Saturday Night Palsy

          Let the record show that Taco said “She sounds like a Dodgers fan.”

          • Taako From Teevhii

            WAIT.

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            Who the hell is Taco?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            I thought that @purplerockjohn:discus called you Taco. No?

          • Taako From Teevhii

            So we’re all just going to follow after Jonald, now are we?

          • Saturday Night Palsy

            Jonald!

      • Purplerockmatt

        the worst. they better not make me do a podcast with her

  • StormofCuteness

    I voted Ashley, Mike, Simone. Ashley wasn’t smiling or being friendly in pre-show. Mike comes off as pompus. Simone may be sanctimonious and also, Survivor’s bad history with WOC as 1st boots.

  • Super duper fan

    For the Heroes, unfortunately for me, I picked Chrissy. If they somehow lose the immunity, whether it was her fault or not, she could very well be faulted for that. And she could very well overplay.

    For the Healers I picked Desi. We often forget that when we see someone from the outside as a threat, it is more than likely that people in the game also see that. Especially with only 6 people in her tribe she has very little room to hide.

    And for the Hustlers I picked Patrick. I think he could very well sketch out the rest of his tribe, and I don’t want any of Ryan, Ali and Simone to get voted out.

    And my winner pick for this season is Ali. I think she has skill necessary to win, and if Hustlers do get Matsinged, I think she will come out of top, and ride out the rest of a season.

    I’m cautiously optimistic for this season. Game Changers wasn’t that good of a season, so I understand the worry of some that this season could also very well be a disappointment, but at the end of a day, it’s still Survivor, and the current season of Australian Survivor shows that the show can be so unbelievably great, that I can’t help myself but be excited for new things to come.

    And I will be back to my duty of reminding everyone of the awesomness that is Ashley Underwood, after a bit of a break during the off-season. For the new season, and good luck:

    Ashley Underwood, we’re forever grateful for what you’ve brought to the game. We are not worthy of the joy you bring us.