It seems like it happens every season: a group of young, hot castaways form a clique despite being the minority. Sometimes they find a way to run the game anyway, other times the outsiders band together.
We’re all nerds here (except Andy, or so he claims), so we have a rough idea about which of these alliances were the most successful and which ones crashed and burned like Mike Skupin. But there’s a more important question, one that has no easy answer: Which alliance of pretty people was the coolest? I did some investigating and found results that are 100% objective and indisputable.
Malakal Couples Alliance
Amanda: Hooked up with the popular guy, +50; Beauty queen, +30
Ozzy: Jock, +40; Declared love in front of an audience, -25
Parvati: Sabotaged best friend’s relationship, +80; Ditched popular friends for outsiders, -100
James: Tall, +30; Against girl power +15
Total: 120
Cool Kids Alliance
Reynold: Great at throwing things, +75; Ironic mustache -40
Allie: Douchebro negged her on TV, -20; Likes Survivor, -175
Eddie: Knows first aid, -30; Dream is to open a dog bar, +200
Hope: Very pretty, +60; Graduated college summa cum laude, -30
Total: 40
Young Ogakor
Colby: Jock, +40; Nice to older women -15
Jerri: Spread a rumor about fellow tribemate, +70; Failed to attract the object of her affection, -50
Mitchell: Tall, +30; Too tall; -35
Amber: Young, +20; There, +0
Total: 60
Jabaru Clique
Jenna: In a sorority, +35; Swimsuit model, +65
Alex: Winning side in a love triangle with Shawna, +50; Told the truth, -10
Heidi: Looks down on those less attractive than herself, +40; Has high IQ, -25
Rob: Funny, +5; Super fan of Survivor, -300
Total: -140
Raro Alliance
Nate: Provides network-approved diversity +60, Cool hair, +10
Parvati: Flirts a lot +15; Hot tubs with two attractive dudes, +40
Candice: Attracts a misfit after showing minimal kindness; +10, Lets Adam kiss her, -50
Adam: Gets to kiss Candice, +50; Has his face, -30
Total: 105
Savaii Couples
Keith: Bullied the nerd, +20; Homewrecker, +40
Whitney: Was on two reality shows, +25; Cuckolded husband, +40
Ozzy: Older jock, +20; Pigtails, -40
Elyse: Doesn’t do poetry, +15; Was the jock’s second choice after the chick who does poetry, -30
Total: 90
And there you have it folks. Parvati’s alliance is the coolest of all the alliances. In second place? Parvati’s alliance. Hard to argue with that.
Emma is the token chick of the Purple Rock Podcast. She has watched the show continuously since the second episode.
Favorite seasons: Heroes vs. Villains, Micronesia, Cambodia, Cook Islands, China, Philippines
Favorite players: Courtney Yates, Parvati Shallow, Cirie Fields, Yul Kwon, John Cochran, Jeremy Collins