Brad wraps up the bonus content for the year and puts a bow on Survivor: David vs. Goliath.
This Week In [Extended] Scenes
“Wanna Get Pitched?”
Two-and-a-half of the three minutes in this clip were shown in the broadcast. You can legitimately skip this and not miss anything.
This Week In Confessionals
“It’s Not An Effing Stick, But It’s Pretty Damn Close”
Christian’s filibuster. Davie’s Spy Shack. More John Morrison footage in general. These are things that we, the viewing audience, should have seen were there any justice in the world but have not been shown. Add Alison and Angelina’s fake idol. We need an extended cut of Alison checking the palm tree twenty times, Angelina painstakingly making and then planting her fake idol, Alison finding said fake idol, Angelina’s glee at her plan working, and then a cut to this confessional where Alison all but calls it a piece of shit. Please, Survivor gods (or editors), I beg this of you. I crack up just thinking of “Mike, she found it,” and this would make that moment play so much better. God, sometimes I feel like we didn’t deserve this season.
This Week At Ponderosa
“Is That Unhealthy?”
36 pounds? DAMN! I lost 40 pounds over the course of two years and I thought that was crazy. But as Christian says (through a time-lapse), one pound per day? Pure insanity. I will also note that while Alec was best dressed on the island, Davie is far and away best dressed at Ponderosa. This is the only new thing we learned about Davie in this Ponderosa.
“I Am Like Cachectic Right Now”
27 pounds? For Alison? DAMN!!! Anyway, this Ponderosa felt like a throwback to old school Ponderosa in a good way: it relied mostly on the strength of Alison’s personality instead of gimmicks and bits. And as an added bonus, the group dynamic at Ponderosa had a great vibe in this episode, which isn’t always the case when certain jurors are particularly bitter. This season, it’s been telling who runs out ahead of the welcoming committee to greet the newly minted juror, and while Alec and Gabby lead the charge, the entire jury meets Alison under the Ponderosa sign, which is a first for this season. It indicates two things to me: (1) Alison’s winner threat was indeed high as she was well-liked (aside from Angelina), and (2) Mike’s berating of her at Tribal was rougher than what we saw. Alison provides some more insight into (2) as she eats. Apparently Mike didn’t take kindly to Alison fighting to stay in the game, and his treatment of her might’ve actually lowered the jury’s collective opinion of him. We also see more of the Alison-Alec duo, which unfortunately didn’t have the narrative importance to knock other storylines out of the main edit; I just think this is a really fun pair. If they make a web series of them talking about Survivor, I think I’d watch that (given that it’s under 15 minutes; I like them, but not enough to throw another TV show in my queue).
Also, Alison dropping her pants. Iconique.
“Oh, That’s Not My Plate”
26 pounds? DAAAAAAAA-eh you get it. Another solid Ponderosa where the player shines as Kara is “genuine and bubbly,” to quote Elizabeth. And in case you didn’t catch it, Kara essentially tells Angelina to buzz off on her last day on the island. We stan. In addition, the orange seat or the wind didn’t do Kara in during the fire making challenge; she was using the wrong edge of the knife.
This Week In The Jury Box
Elizabeth plans to use a rubric to determine how she’ll vote.
John is ready to vote for Mike if he owns his game, for Angelina if she displays self-awareness, or for Nick if … well he actually doesn’t say what it would take for Nick to get his vote.
Dan is rooting for Angelina and reiterates what John said: Nick made a mistake in taking Kara instead of Angelina.
Alec echoes Dan in saying what other jurors don’t realize: the Angelina that they got was the real, genuine Angelina.
Carl is undecided.
Gabby is looking for intentionality, adaptability, resilience, and authenticity in her winner.
Christian explains how Mike could set a new precedent for castaways by portraying his assets as liabilities and using this to keep floating towards the end.
Davie will be stumping for Nick but was won over by Angelina’s rice sacrifice and might be sharing clothes with Alec?
Alison is looking for a winner who will represent her season well and is positive that it won’t be Angelina.
Kara thinks Nick played the best version of the game she didn’t play and Mike played the best version of the game that she did.
This Week In Gifable Moments
When you forgot to wear something with pockets to the Escape Room.
When Del Close mishears you talk about your injury but you have to Yes And instead of correct him.
When your aunt shows up to Christmas dinner with a salad and tres leches.
When you borrow you mom’s car and accidentally scratch the door and decide to keep it a secret but then she tells you a few days later that someone in the parking lot at work scratched her door and she just wishes that they had left a note because she only wants to know how it happened not because she’s mad or anything and so you feel super guilty.
When your grandma recalls the time you made prime rib that was *gasp* medium-rare.
When Mike White whines.
When Mike red wines.
When you climb
50 5 feet for an idol.
When you get a paper cut.
When someone asks for your opinion of people whose last name is Trump.
When someone tries to find a more perfect gif for the mood heading into 2019.
When ya boy actually finds the best gif this season.
When you lose 30 pounds, get a haircut, and feel fresh as fuck.
When amazingly this gif isn’t referencing Angelina negotiating for more rice.
When you need a reaction gif for good news.
When you need a reaction gif for confusing news.
When your son leaves his skateboard out in his rush to feed his poorly-named amphibian.
When you find out that the reaction gifs keep on coming this week.
When you have to choose between Potbelly and Portillo’s.
Brad (formerly known as Taako from Teevhii) has watched every season live but was too young to remember the first ten seasons (and is only saying that to make you all feel bad). He treats Wednesday nights like a religious observance and wonders if he can finagle that into a tax benefit.
Favorite Seasons: Winners At War, Heroes vs. Villains, Cagayan, Cambodia, Micronesia
Favorite Players: Kelley Wentworth, Sandra Diaz-Twine, Kim Spradlin, Denise Stapley, Todd Herzog, Courtney Yates, Yul Kwon, Charlie Herschel