Happy spring break to those who celebrate. Now let’s get to the scores after a truly excellent episode of Survivor.

Thomas was on 73 teams, tied for 3rd most in the league. He scored 9 points.

Individual scoring table

Immunity points: 3 points to Charity, David, Eva, Mary, and Star. 2 points to Bianca, Cedrek, Chrissy, Mitch, Sai.

Successful idol play: 4 points to Kyle

VTEP points: One point to Kamilla, Kyle, and Kyle again.

Pick-4 League

Batleon and is-actually-probably-the-Charles-I’m-thinking-of remain in a tie for first this week. Friday Night Palsy, friend of Saturday Night Palsy, moves into 3rd, and The Ladder jumps to 4th. BFF3D and ADS tie for 11th.  DJ Cambodia, occasional commenter AubrysWinnersEdit, Ms. Sweaterfan, and Dog in a Bowl finish in the top 20. Special shout out to Stick Your Hand in a Fan for the possibly suggestive team name that is probably not the innuendo I’m thinking it is.

Champions League:

DJ Cambodia remains in the lead, but takes a huge hit by losing Thomas this week. Anaphor is just three points behind, with a solid chance of taking over the lead next week. Prom King sits in third, and Bassmanxvi holds on to the final automatic invite spot at the moment, presumably uplifted by keeping his Champions League record safe from TheForRealDeal.

Other leagues

Ok, time to get around to shouting out the Applebee’s league (officially named: Yeah we fancy like Applebees on a date night, bourbon street steak with that Oreo shake, got that —). Each team is named after an Applebee’s…specialty, I guess? This league is about as tight as it gets, with the teams at 50, 49, and 48 points. I’m going to assume that the participants named their teams after their favorite things at America’s Favorite Neighbor ™. Thus, I will base my rooting interests upon which of the three I’d be most interested in ordering. First, the Bourbon Street Mushroom and Swiss Burger: a burger is generally a very safe choice at any American restaurant, as it is an American classic (despite dispute over where it may have originated). Second, we have Four-cheese Mac and Cheese with Honey Pepper Chicken Tenders: Honey pepper chicken tenders are also unlikely to be terrible, but you want your mac and cheese done well, which is a big risk at Applebee’s. Finally, we have $5 Mucho Cocktails: this shit is just sugar. There’s some alcohol in there, sure, but the sugar high will fuck you up before the alcohol does. They put fucking gummies in their cocktails, y’all. It’s like everything you hoped a cocktail would be when you were 7 years old and wondering what the adults were drinking that you weren’t allowed to have.

Anyway, I’m riding with you, Burger. You offer the lowest odds of regret, which is basically how I would approach an order at Applebee’s. Also, side bar: get that maple butter blondie for dessert. That shit was a classic for Young Poor John.

If you would still like to make one of those leagues, you can do so now. You can find the pages for those leagues here (there are multiple tabs for these, depending on the size of the group).

John

John is the co-host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast. He can get loud too, what the fuck!

Favorite seasons: Heroes vs. Villains, Cagayan, Pearl Islands, Tocantins, Cambodia