Alright, time to make with the predicting again. Because last season of you all telling us the obvious winner and us making fun of you for it and you being right was SO MUCH FUN, we decided to keep doing it! This is your first chance to tell us who that Obvious Winner is.

Andy: You know of all the bullshit I spit on our preview podcast, I really think I nailed the first boot prediction. NAILED. IT. No need for more explanation.

John: If the Millennials lose that first challenge, Michelle ends up taking the fall because it’s easy to talk about voting her out while she’s off trying to do empirical research on the existence of dragons. If Gen X somehow falls to The Youths, CeCe goes home first- probably because of some incredibly minor mistake in the challenge.

Matt: Everyone expects the Millennials to win challenges because they are young, but what they forget (or dont realize) is that old people are still fine at first, but the day after the physical challenge is when they’ll feel the pain and be sore. They’ll be holding their back, whining about their knees and wondering “when did playing paintball become so painful? Am I really that old? I need to work out more!” So yeah, the Gen-Xers should be okay at first before they start losing a lot. So for the Millennials, I’ll say Michelle is going home for two reasons: 1) she is completely and totally batshit crazy and that is something you cannot hide, and 2) I think the Millennials will be conscious enough of the racial bias to try and be different, but still want to target a “weak” woman. So bye bye crazy person.

But if Gen-X loses I’ll say Cece is going home. Survivor does have a bad history of African-American women being the first boot. So playing the cynical bad odds here. If not her, it’ll probably be Jessica, but I’ll buck the trend and go Cece.

Mark: Alright, a new season, another chance to beat you guys at predictions. I think it’s safe to say the Millennials are the favorites for immunity, so when Gen X loses, I can see an older woman taking the fall. If I had to choose between a CeCe and Jessica for the first boot, I’d probably go with the latter. (Mostly because it would suck to have a minority as the first boot yet again). If for some reason the Millennial tribe gets lost on the way back to camp after the challenge and finds themselves at the Tribal Council set, they might boot Figgy? Who knows.

Emma: I’ll admit a lot of this is wishful thinking, but I also can legitimately see Michelle being the first boot. Michaela may be religious, but Michelle and Will seem to be the only ones who might be evangelical about it, and Michelle’s supposed Communism will turn off Reagonomics-loving Will. If she tries too hard to flirt, like she seems to plan, Jay will be turned off by her religious convictions, and Adam wouldn’t fall for it. Taylor might, but that’ll just make everyone want to get rid of her more, so he can be their dumb pet, not hers. Plus she just seems super weird, and not in a Hannah and Zeke way. I think I’ve named everyone on this tribe except Mari.

This is a tough one, because I see several viable options. Paul is old and might be a lot to deal with, Sunday is the classic “older woman” who could be a target. But ultimately, I think it will be Rachel. She seems like she will annoy people, and not unlike Michelle, like she’ll try to flirt too much and rub people the wrong way (phrasing). Also, as unfortunate as it is, she is a minority woman, so the odds are not in her favor here, based on past precedent.

	Andy	John	Matt	Mark	Emma	Readers
Millennials First Out	Hannah	Michelle	Michelle	Figgy	Michelle
Gen X First Out	Jessica	CeCe	CeCe	Jessica	Rachel

Andy: The last time they did youngs vs olds, a simple-minded, careful, handsome young bro improbably won the whole thing. That’s the sort of success rate I can’t ignore. Taylor it is!

John: As I said in the cast preview podcast, Adam is the winner of this season. Here’s a fun fact: Stanford graduates have won every time they’ve played Survivor*.
*I just made that up. But Yul won, and he was a Stanford grad.

Mark: As far as a winner, this is a really hard season to predict. Everyone has their flaws, but I’m down to two. Despite his excruciating endorsement of the Urban Dictionary and Woo-like levels of chill, I can see Taylor winning just enough challenges and getting along with people to go far. That said, I also really like Michaela’s attitude and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Possible winner or Cydney 2.0? After a coin flip, I’m going with Taylor. A fittingly disappointing winner for an underwhelming cast.

Matt: I think the winner will be someone near the dividing line and Ken is the youngest Gen-Xer. He will come under fire at some point as an obvious threat, but I think he will befriend people and is charming. I think people will think him a lunkhead, which will take some pressure off him by the more strategically-minded in the game.

Emma: I truly have no strong feelings towards anyone in this cast, in terms of a winner. There are people who seem interesting to watch, there are people who seem bad, and there are a lot of people who seem very middle of the road. But apparently picking a winner is “mandatory” and “one of the few things you have to do here, come on, Emma” so I guess I’ll go with… I don’t know man, let’s go with Zeke. He’ll get people to like him enough to last through the beginning, and he’s not athletic enough to be a threat at the merge. Maybe his personality will distract from his supposed strategic acumen.

	Andy	John	Matt	Mark	Emma	Readers
Preseason Winner Pick	Taylor	Adam	Ken	Taylor	Zeke

So there you have it. Make your picks below and don’t be afraid to give your explanation in the comments. We can be wrong together! (Note: we’re only doing preseason winner picks. It won’t be a weekly thing).