You may have heard that we have decided to eliminate the Predictions post and won’t be predicting week to week boots. This is all true. The fact is, we were just too good at it. It ceased to be fun.  Instead I will be predicting who will win the season every week. I call it Matt’s Premature Winners At War Wildly Ambitious Winner’s Prognostication. Or Matt’s PWAWWAWP. Catchy, no? Let’s dive into this episode.

Finale time baby! Only 5 players (and then 14 more players) left in the game! Is the PWAWWAWP even Premature anymore? Should I now be calling it the WAWWAWP? The MWAWWAWP? The AWAWWAWP? Or perhaps I should call it the PWAWWAWP for Post-mature Winners At War Wildly Ambitious Winner’s Prognostication. Yes PWAWWAWP has a nice ring to it in this final week. I’ve had a lot of fun this season doing this post (a blatant lie), but I feel like it is time to drop the act and deliver what you all really want. A serious and cogent analysis of the remaining player’s chances at winning. So let’s start with Ben.

Ben is not winning. Next. Denise.

Denise is probably not winning. It is hard to believe that the show wouldn’t show more positive of someone as awesome as Denise if she were winning. But unlike Ben, the show isn’t clowning on her either meaning she does have a slight chance. And her move to take out Sandra does get mentioned a lot, so she would have something to hang her hat on if she reached the end. Ultimately I see Denise falling short of Final Tribal, unlike Ben who I believe will be in the final 3 and will be roasted. Next, Michele.

I have never accurately predicted anything Michele has done and I have no reason why you would listen to anything I say now regarding her. I don’t think she is winning, but I didn’t think she was winning Kaoh Rong 2 hours and 30 minutes into the finale. So what the fuck do I know? Could Michele beat Denise and Ben? Maybe. Could she beat Sarah or Tony? I don’t think so but again see the disclaimer above. Next, Sarah and Tony.

I have no idea. I think of the five people remaining in the game these two are the overwhelming favorites, and if only one is sitting there at the end they are probably my pick, but if they are both there? Shrug. They have both played really strong games emphasizing different aspects of themselves and what it takes to win. Who will the jury reward? Not sure. I slightly lean Tony, but only by the smallest margin and frankly the finale has enough time for me to flip back to Sarah. Next, the Edge returnee.

No not you Nick, the actual Edge returnee.

Tyson has returned before, has an idol if he returns and likely only needs to win one challenge and make fire to propel himself to the end. I am of the belief that the jury will reward people who suffered through Edge like they did if they have the opportunity too and Tyson only needing one challenge win and fire is pretty believable in terms of things that could happen. But I also don’t think Tyson is the returnee.

Everyone felt that Natalie was a lock to return during the first play back challenge. She had gotten so much screen time! She was finding fire tokens! And then Tyson came back. Since then Natalie has… gotten so much screen time! Is finding even more fire tokens! She has an idol! She is literally running laps around people at the Edge! Natalie just makes sense as the Edge returnee. Again like Tyson all she would have to do is win one challenge and win one fire challenge and she is sitting pretty. Who cares if she got voted out first? The jury won’t. But Natalie is not the PWAWWAWP (sorry I meant the PWAWWAWP).

See my theory is that if someone from the Edge is going to win they need to be immune for two tribals and then make fire. The show will want to emphasize that they suffered on the Edge. That they bled on the Edge. The show will want content of other people talking about how they are good at Survivor, or just good at everything. And in this regard there is only one person that qualifies. There is only person who Ben said is “good at everything.” There is only one person we saw bleed in their pursuit of fire tokens. And they started setting up how good this person was at making fire last season when Sandra said “No one beats him at making fire.” A Winner’s edit two seasons in the making!

So there you have it everyone! The winner of Survivor: Winners at War. But I got a lot of polls for you!

Who was your MVP last week?

Who is your season MVP?

Who do you think will win?