Hey, remember when we did this podcast casting Survivor: Worlds Apart with returning players? I barely remember it, because I’d been drinking. What’s your excuse? Anyway, we wanted to make it easier for you to slack at work, because not everyone can listen to our podcast at work. Maybe you don’t have headphones, and you didn’t want your boss to hear you listening to a podcast so you decided to pull up this very work-looking blog post and frantically type meaningless letters so it looks like you’re busy. We’re not here to judge. You do you. So without further ado, our fan-casting of players, by tribe.

White Collar Tribe

Yul Kwon (Cook Islands), Management Consultant – A favorite of everyone who appears on the podcast (we check before we book), it’s past time to bring Yul back. Even if he might have better things to do. Chosen by: Will Kassandra (Kass) McQuillen (Cagayan), Attorney – She may be chaotically crazy, but it makes for good television. Only question: is a llama farmer really a blue collar job? Chosen by: John Bobby (Bob Dawg) Mason (Panama – Exile Island), Attorney – Not just the guy who insisted on using an outhouse for its intended purpose! Bob Dawg had personality to spare, it just wasn’t featured in Panama due to his poor placement. Let’s give him another chance to see if he can do better (and thus give us more). Also, why isn’t he on Twitter?!? Chosen by: John Kelley Wentworth (San Juan del Sur – Blood vs Water 2), Marketing Manager  – Another early boot that we think had more to offer, if only she wasn’t surrounded by fools. Let’s see what Kelley, marketing manager can do instead of Kelly, farmer’s daughter. (Not to be confused with Kelly Wiglesworth). Chosen by: Andy Marty Piombo (Nicaragua), Technology Executive – If you’re making a White Collar tribe, you gotta have at least one master of the universe, douchebag-type. So welcome to the tribe, Marty. He has actually seemed like less of a jerk post-Nicaragua, but I’m still pretty confident he’s the senior VP you’d hate at work. Chosen by: Andy Denise Stapley (Philippines), Sex Therapist – Denise is great. Let’s see if she can adjust to not starting the game with a bunch of morons. We’re betting she can. Has a shot at being the second two-time winner. Chosen by: Will

Blue Collar

Judd Sergeant (Guatemala – The Mayan Empire), Hotel Doorman – Exactly what you need for a blue collar tribe (he’s even wearing blue in this picture!) When you think blue collar, you think of hard-working, honest, good sportsmanships like Judd. Seriously, if the actual Blue Collar tribe of season 30 doesn’t have a Judd type, they’ve failed. Chosen by: John Twila Tanner (Vanuatu – Islands of Fire), Highway Repair Worker – Not necessarily someone we’re itching to have back, but she definitely fits the bill, was memorable, and has reportedly been close to coming back for previous All-Star seasons. So, sure. Chosen by: Andy Tony Vlachos (Cagayan), Police Officer – One of the greatest players and casting finds in the history of the show and he’s itching to come back. And he will be, the very next time they bring back returnees. Bet on it. Chosen by: Andy Ciera Eastin (Blood vs Water), Hairdresser – Is hairdresser a blue collar job? We’re torn. But we needed an injection of youth into this tribe, and Survivor hasn’t exactly cast a lot of females in this role. After running down possibly the entire list of choices, we decided that Ciera qualifies. Chosen by: Will Jeremy Collins (San Juan del Sur – Blood vs Water 2), Firefighter – Jeremy will spend every confessional angrily complaining about how Judd, Shambo, and Twila don’t know strategy. But competing with Tony should finally answer our questions about whether or not he’s actually good at Survivor or not. Chosen by: Will Shambo Waters (Samoa), Former Marine – At first glance, Shambo seems like the perfect choice (ignoring that she turned down an invite to Caramoan). Fan favorite. Salt of the earth. Memorable character. Now, it turns out that her current job (or current as of Samoa) wasn’t Marine (hence “Former”), but sales. Which probably isn’t blue collar. But, who cares. She’s blue collar. Chosen by: John

No Collar

Kelly Wiglesworth (Borneo), Yoga Instructor (former River Guide) – I’m not sure why we keep trying to make the first runner-up in Survivor history happen, but here she is again. She came within a vote of changing the entire direction of Survivor forever (and probably would have doomed it if she’d won), so she deserves her due. She also apparently has really dopey ideas on how Survivor should be played, which we decided was perfect for this tribe. Not to be confused with Kelley Wentworth. Chosen by: Will Vytas Baskauskas (Blood vs Water), Yoga Instructor – John tried to claim that he’s actually a math professor (because he is), but I never saw that turn up on a chyron. Vytas, the former heroin-addict/current yogi is a perfect fit for “no collar”. He was also an awesome contestant his first go around. Chosen by: Andy Courtney Yates (China, Heroes vs Villains) – Of course, this Courtney is the more awesome Courtney, but I contend that Fire Dancer Courtney is the more thematically appropriate choice. But I’ll sign up for another season of glorious Yates eye rolls. Chosen by: John Malcolm Freberg (Philippines, Caramoan), Bartender – It’s been over a year since Malcolm was on Survivor, which is clearly too long! I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to describe how his life path of ESL teaching, bartending, and web series hosting is more fulfilling than the white collar job his parents thought he’d have when he went to Dartmouth. Also, let’s hope he does some more entertaining Tribal Council stuff. Chosen by: Will Michelle Yi (Fiji), Rock Climbing Instructor – Super cute and should never have gone home at the merge in Fiji. Sure, on the list of bad ideas in Fiji, having a random team immunity challenge where only half of the players go to Tribal Council doesn’t make the top three, but it’s still a really stupid idea. Make good on this one Survivor. Also: it’s possible I overrate her because she was a beacon of decency in the middle of one of the nastiest collection of people Survivor’s ever assembled. Chosen by: Andy Lex Van den Berghe (Africa, All-Stars), is in a band, has tattoos, and we’re ignoring that he’s a Marketing Manager – John actually tried to pick about a dozen people for this spot, but in the end, we didn’t have a tattooed free spirit type. So we went with Lex, who… might actually be white collar. Whoops. Ehn, I bet he’s one of those hip marketing types who have guitars in their offices and never wear a tie. He’d never sell out for a stack of greenbacks. Chosen by: John (kind of)

Vetoed

Katie Collins (Blood vs Water), Hedge Fund Support Objection: Really? Her?

RC Saint-Amour (Philippines, almost Blood vs Water), Investment Banker Objection: Is unequivocally the worst. Taj Johnson-George (Tocantins – The Brazilian Highlands), Former Pop Star Objection: Debate whether “former pop star” slash “wife of former NFL Pro-Bowler” makes you “no collar”. Julie Wolfe (Redemption Island), Firefighter Objection: Too similar to the more famous Twila and Shambo (sorry Julie, you probably don’t deserve that). Dreamz Herd (Fiji), Cheerleading Coach Objections: No matter what John might think, Cheerleading Coach is not a blue collar job. And the no collar tribe was too young with him. Courtney Marit (Panama – Exile Island), Firedancer Not picked, but look at her. That’s as no collar as it gets. Brian Heidik (Thailand), Used Car Salesman Not technically vetoed, but I wanted to post this picture. His hair is so feathery. Of course, we welcome your comments, particularly if you think you had a better suggestion or think we shafted a deserving player. You can leave a comment here, tweet us @purplerockpod, or email us at purplerockpodcast on gmail. Thanks for listening!