Let us all sit back and enjoy what The Almighty Edgic foretold us lo those many weeks ago. It’s finale time!

Boot Predictions

Andy: 6. Let’s come up with a fun way for Aubry to go home: Sarah will be immune. I think Tai will play one of his idols for himself. And let’s say Brad wins immunity. That leaves Aubry, Cirie, and Troy (who holds on to his idol) immune. Tai was the target of the majority, while Tai votes for Sarah. No votes! Let’s say they don’t do a hidden revote as per the new rules and of course no one will agree unanimously to a target, since that will require someone to volunteer. Cirie, Aubry, and Troy go to rocks. Aubry draws the rock-that-should-be-purple-but-won’t-be.

5. With no more allies and close enough to the end to be dangerous, it’s Cirie‘s time to go. Sadly, I don’t think there will be an ovation for her on the way out from these players. Tai and Troy burn their remaining idols.

4. Brad‘s winner momentum will be building throughout the hour as the player’s take notice of his improbable ability to stay alive when he should’ve been dead at 8. He’ll lose the challenge and lose that momentum.

3. Troy will fulfill his purpose as FTC goat. Everyone has been counting on him since casting.

2. Tai will get Debbie’s vote to finish second.

1. Sarah will get the rest.

John: Unfortunately, I can’t adjust my predictions to improve my odds to win this thing since I already put my guesses out there. So I’ll just ride with what I already said.

6. It’s been real, Aubry. Note: I don’t think this is going to be some historic, advantage-laden tribal council. I’m sure Tai will play his idol (if he doesn’t win individual immunity) and Sarah will play her Legacy Advantage (if she doesn’t win immunity). But I’d bet against a scenario where we end up with 5 people immune.

5. Unfortunately, Cirie’s moves have left her without an alliance that would be willing to take her to the end. But even though she’ll be getting sent back to the couch from whence she came, Cirie still gave us a few shining moments this season.

4. After playing two straight idols, people will recognize Tai as a possible threat, regardless of his previous struggle at final tribal council.

3. This is the most appropriate of outcomes. In third place, receiving zero votes at final tribal council: Purple Troy, blocker of all those who mention him on Twitter, loser of the Cambodia fan vote, possessor of legendary dong,  and perhaps the most predictably useless player on this season.

2. What Would Monica Do? The same thing Brad is going to do: Finish in second place.

1. I always laugh at the fact that cops and lawyers consistently lie about their jobs in this game. But between Tony’s win and Sarah presumably winning this season, maybe there’s some justification after all?

Emma: I just don’t know what to do with myself now that Andrea is gone. Who do I predict? Does anything matter?
6. Aubry. There will probably be a lot of idols played or something idk. She will leave with little fanfare, just as she has been on the season with little fan fare.
5. Cirie no longer has anyone on her side, and despite recent mistakes maybe people are still concerned about her as a threat based on past reputation? I’m numb.
4. After making some splashy idol plays and no longer having any protection, Tai will be an easy vote. It would be sad if we could still feel anything.

3. My one glimmer of joy will be when Troy gets no votes.
2. Brad plays like Monica, winds up in the same spot as she did on her second round.
1. Sarah will have a perfectly cromulent final tribal performance, but I will be bored.

Mark: #6: I expect Aubry to go first. Her storyline for the season is essentially Charlie Brown and the football, with every single plan going up in smoke and confused reactions. She’ll probably get idoled out based on expiring advantages. Which is good, because if they have coleslaw at Ponderosa, her video might give Michaela’s a run for its money.
#5: Her blunder gets her a one vote pass, but no one will let Cirie near the end. This is probably the closest to a consensus vote there will be.
#4: Even if he flailed last time, Tai at FTC is dangerous—especially if he plays his idols correctly. Best to take Troy and whichever of Brad and Sarah doesn’t win immunity.
#3: It’s really too bad for Troy that his human-sized package doesn’t get to vote.
#2: The couple that runners-up together, stays together. Brad will tie his wife’s FTC record, but with a much closer vote. Despite the great game Sarah is playing, I expect to see a couple bitter jurors. Especially if their name rhymes with “Potter Melon”.

#1: Andy and John can put their kids to bed with a soothing, sleep-inducing final speech from Sarah Lacina as she regales the jury with her My Little Tony gameplay. Jokes aside, she’s playing a pretty good game, and will likely be rewarded as such. And then we can all move on to a better season.

Matt: So the easiest prediction is that Aubry is out at 6. Between Sarah being immune, Tai having two idols, and someone winning immunity here, there just aren’t many targets. I cannot see Cirie and Aubry winning over people to vote out Brad at this point, so the choice is Cirie or Aubry. Cirie has been defanged by the past two tribals and doesn’t wield the same power and isn’t an immunity threat. So Aubry goes home at 6.

Then at 5, some people are interested in voting out Sarah, and the guys realize they have all the power in the game now. But they also see this as the perfect time to oust Cirie and do so at 5.

At 4, Sarah needs to win immunity. Brad and Troy are obviously together, Tai is a wild card, but he isn’t going to make waves here. And despite the fact that I still think she is the most likely winner, I think I want to predict something else. So I say Sarah loses immunity and goes home at 4.

So with the surprising and lackluster final 3 of Brad, Tai, and Troy, Troy obviously comes in 3rd. He is offended when no one asks him anything. Brad claims credit for making big moves at opportune times (i.e. voting out Cirie and Sarah) but really the door was left open to him by the chaos of the last two tribals. Tai is Tai. I think Tai gets some votes to pull into second place, but Brad is the only one able to articulate well at final, he is the obvious leader among the three remaining and he was the earlier target among the three. Most everyone holds their nose and votes for him. Brad wins.

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	Andy	John	Emma	Mark	Matt	Readers
20th or 19th Place	Aubry	Ciera	Ciera	Ciera	Ciera	Ciera
18th Place	JT	Debbie	Cirie	JT	Cirie	JT
17th Place	JT	Sandra	Sandra	Sandra	Varner	JT
16th Place	JT	Sandra	JT	JT	JT	JT
15th Place	Debbie	Debbie	Sarah	Aubry	Ozzy	Debbie
14th Place	Varner		Tai	Varner	Ozzy
13th Place	Michaela	Cirie	Cirie	Ozzy	Michaela	Ozzy
12th Place	Ozzy	Ozzy	Michaela	Hali	Cirie	Ozzy
11th Place	Andrea	Cirie	Andrea	Zeke	Andrea	Zeke
10th Place	Andrea	Andrea	Andrea	Sierra	Andrea	Andrea
9th Place	Andrea	Andrea	Andrea	Sierra	Andrea	Andrea
8th Place	Andrea	Andrea	Michaela	Andrea	Andrea	Andrea
7th Place	Aubry	Aubry	Aubry	Michaela	Aubry	Andrea
6th Place	Aubry	Aubry	Aubry	Aubry	Aubry
5th Place	Cirie	Cirie	Cirie	Cirie	Cirie
4th Place	Brad	Tai	Tai	Tai	Sarah
3rd Place	Troy	Troy	Troy	Troy	Troy
2nd Place	Tai	Brad	Brad	Brad	Tai
Winner	Sarah	Sarah	Sarah	Sarah	Brad
Score
Preseason Winner Pick	Malcolm	Tony	Malcolm	Andrea	Andrea	Malcolm

*Reminder: Scores from the seventh episode do not count due to spoilers.

Time to make your picks. And feel free to track how your personal picks do throughout the year. I won’t make mention of it or anything, but you can still feel good about it.

 

Reminder: FUCK. YO. SPOILERS.